FEAR

(I apologize to anyone who received an email from this post! I hit publish on accident. This is the "real" post! So sorry!)

I can't claim this  awesome picture of what sand looks like close up in Africa! Thanks to the guide and my parents camera! Awesome shot! As my mom says, "Sand Crystals"!

Tonight, Mr. Dashing and I read through Alma 57 in the Book of Mormon. ....profound NEW insight for me!

The Nephites are contending with the Lamanites. The captured Lamanites prisoners are so many that a small number of Nephite soldiers start to march the Lamanite prisoners to a different city so the city will be able to help maintain the prisioners. The prisoners break free. Gid was the chief captain over those who had been appointed to guard the prisoners on the march. In his word's he shared what had happened with the breakout of the prisoners....

Behold, we did start to go down to the land of Zarahemla with our prisoners. And it came to pass that we did meet the spies of our armies, who had been sent out to watch the camp of the Lamanites.

And they cried unto us, saying—Behold, the armies of the Lamanites are marching towards the city of Cumeni; and behold, they will fall upon them, yea, and will destroy our people.

And it came to pass that our prisoners did hear their cries, which caused them to take courage; and they did rise up in rebellion against us.

And it came to pass because of their rebellion we did cause that our swords should come upon them. And it came to pass that they did in a body run upon our swords, in the which, the greater number of them were slain; and the remainder of them broke through and fled from us.

And behold, when they had fled and we could not overtake them, we took our march with speed towards the city Cumeni; and behold, we did arrive in time that we might assist our brethren in preserving the city.

And behold, we are again delivered out of the hands of our enemies. And blessed is the name of our God; for behold, it is he that has delivered us; yea, that has done this great thing for us. (emphasis added)

 HOLY COW!!  Stay with me here.

The prisoners [in this case they were those from the Lamanite army] are the enemy. When they heard the Nephites [the spies] "cries" about what may happen to the people in Cumeni, they took courage and did rise up in rebellion.

To my mind came the comparison of when we have "cries" a.k.a "fears"...We are told over and over in the scriptures to "fear not" and be of good cheer. PERHAPS--when we show fear [fear of the future or to what is happening to a loved one, or whatever circumstance we find ourselves in or perceive may happen] Satan and all of his followers--when they hear/see our cries [our fear] they take courage and rise up against us--EVEN MORE then when they were just 'marching alongside' us!?!

Satan and his band are already trouble! I surely don't need them taking courage and rising up even more against me!!

Conversation with myself:

Q: Well that is just great! :/ I fear all the time, so now I am doomed even more?! My fear gives Satan more power?!
A: Well yes fear is "power" to Satan, but no you are not doomed. In the end of those verses see what Gid says: "And behold, we are again delivered out of the hands of our enemies. And blessed is the name of our God; for behold, it is he that has delivered us; yea, that has done this great thing for us."

God still can help us and does help us when our weakness of fear manifests, just as he helped the Nephites against the prisoner outbreak. And in this particular story their cries caused a chain reaction that in the end made it so Gid and his men could go back to the main army and help save them from being overpowered. [For another time--that is a look into how God can make strength out of our weakness and in no way am I approving of fear here, but it is another layer to the spiritual onion.]

We are to fear God which will help keep our natural man in check, but all other things we are not to fear, but be believing. Great lesson for me! Sweet insight to what Satan and his band do as a result of seeing my fears.

So why the awesome sand picture at the top?! Did you see "them"? Two snake eyes and part of his face hiding smack in the middle. Apparently it is a deadly snake but my parents guide was chill taking the picture for them.

We never know what is around the corner, but with putting our trust and faith in God and doubting nothing-- He will deliver us in His time and in His way. One constant theme in the Book of Mormon is deliverance. And sometimes that deliverance comes in the form of "strength" to simply endure.

Happiness is a way made to live in the same state as Mr. Dashing! Here I come WY--ready or not. :)

I am grateful for parents who are determined to conquer their new challenges. 

And p.s. I have no time to write this post and yet the insight was too profound not to take the time!

"…not really about…sheep and goats."

Well I started this post over a year ago...! And apparently I saved it as a draft ???

be of good cheer

go in search

gather them together

bring them back

[to] the place of water

This is so sweet!

(Miss you Nyk, Carson, Tay and Kiss!)

I was reading Ammon's account of him contending with all the bad guys by cutting off their arms. That story, to me, has always been one about Ammon's courage/bold faith and undaunted spirit against all odds. THIS time however, because of Elder Holland's comment on parables not really being about sheep and goats--I was impressed with the workings of/with the sheep!!

A few questions to consider before reading:

Q's: What is water symbolic of in the scriptures? 
       Did the sheep ever actually partake of the water when they were first brought?
       What was the cause of their scattering?
       When brought back to the water again, why were they
               1.) not able to drink the water right away?
               2.) not scattered the second time, because they were scattered the first time?
       Did they eventually water?
       And to whom did they get to return home to?
--

 26 And after he had been in the service of the king three days, as he was with the Lamanitish servants going forth with their flocks to the place of water...and all the Lamanites drive their flocks hither, that they may have water—

 27 Therefore, as Ammon and the servants of the king were driving forth their flocks to this place of water, behold, a certain number of the Lamanites, who had been with their flocks to water, stood and scattered the flocks of Ammon and the servants of the king, and they scattered them insomuch that they fled many ways.
…
 31 And it came to pass that he [Ammon] flattered them [the servants of the King] by his words, saying: My brethren, be of good cheer and let us go in search of the flocks, and we will gather them together and bring them back unto the place of water; and thus we will preserve the flocks unto the king and he will not slay us.

 32 And it came to pass that they went in search of the flocks, and they did follow Ammon, and they rushed forth with much swiftness and did head the flocks of the king, and did gather them together again to the place of water.

 33 And those men again stood to scatter their flocks; but Ammon said unto his brethren: Encircle the flocks round about that they flee not; and I go and contend with these men who do scatter our flocks.

 34 Therefore, they did as Ammon commanded them, and he went forth and stood to contend with those who stood by the waters of Sebus; and they were in number not a few.

... 39 And when he had driven them afar off, he returned and they watered their flocks and returned them to the pasture of the king... (Alma 17 emphasis added)

 I hope my excitement in this subject does not kill the message! In response to the missionary who feels he is everyday/all day just "Home Teaching"... change the word "flock" to "members".

Perhaps for full time missionaries or member missionaries, the temptation is to think that there is only real joy in bringing someone to Christ's living waters who has never yet been. But the truth is, we all have been and partook of His waters before coming here to this earth.

For those members who may have been brought to the waters of baptism, perhaps some have not taken what Christ's waters have to offer by actually "drinking" in the gospel. Perhaps the demons of addiction, lack of commitment, family loyalty/traditions, laziness, sorrow, grief, fear, despair, sadness, struggle with commandment keeping, marital struggles (the list goes on and on) where "standing" ready to scatter whoever was brought to Christ...and those "standings" were successful.

BUT YEA to the missionary (member or full time servants) who are being of good cheer with the inspired assignment of going and searching, swiftly heading off, bringing back, encircling, contending, disarming the opposition, and making a way for a watering! His watering! Then together--heading for the pasture of the King.

It is an exciting time to be alive with God's hastening going on! I testify to all, that the sweetness and real joy is that someone is able and does partake. Whether it is their first mortal experience to the place of water or they have been brought back for the 100th time... when one does partake, one is changed!

Oh the wisdom of our great God!!

be of good cheer

go in search

gather them together

bring them back

[to] the place of water

 "together" would imply that there is more than "one" to gather... we are talking about families! And God would have us bring them back TOGETHER to the place of water! Oh the hastening of His work! Oh you missionaries, if you are given such an opportunity--EAT IT UP!

I am grateful for flower "snowball" fights.

Happiness is glistening eyes caught in the dark as one starts to realize that he wants to partake of Christ's water.

Sweet is the joy the gospel brings!

If God allows and grants you the sacred work of going in search, gathering and bring back so one might partake... I promised you, you will count your blessings 10 by 10 and you will be surprised at what the Lord has done!!

Its not really about sheep!

"ROOM TO CROSS AND CONTEND"

A few weeks back I was studying in Alma 2… and had some sweet thoughts. Amlici has gone against the voice of the people, and has dubbed himself King over the band that supports him. He decides to go to war against his brethren. Talk about the impact of having “contentions among ourselves”! Brethren fought against brethren.

In the middle of the battle (after loosing 12,000ish of his followers) Amlici hooks up with a Lamanite army which is described as “being as numerous almost, as it were, as the sands of the sea”. Those type of odds have got to be a little bit daunting!

The scriptures say that Alma, (the one that saw the angel/is now the high priest over the land) goes at the head of his army to contend with Amlici and his army. Alma, as a Leader, teaches by example some awesome principles that I can apply to my life.

 Alma and Amlici were going head to head and obviously had to take a “breather” from the battle because:

 29 And it came to pass that Alma fought with Amlici with the sword, face to face; and they did contend mightily, one with another.

 30 And it came to pass that Alma, being a man of God, being exercised with much faith, cried, saying: O Lord, have mercy and spare my life, that I may be an instrument in thy hands to save and preserve this people.

 31 Now when Alma had said these words he contended again with Amlici; and he was strengthened, insomuch that he slew Amlici with the sword.

It says he contended again with Amlici. And he obviously had some type of time to offer such an awesome, selfless prayer. And BEING EXERCISED WITH MUCH FAITH, he asked (no doubt according to the will of the Lord) a pretty powerful/selfless wish, and his words were granted.

I asked myself, am I being exercised with much faith that in a moments notice I can pray with that much power?!  (Yep I have room to defiantly improve upon! :) thank goodness God is a perfectly patient God!.).

But again, look at this awesome Leader Alma—what he did. He contended with Amlici, killed him. Started beating up the King of the Lamanites, but the king retreated and sent his guards…

 33 But Alma, with his guards, contended with the guards of the king of the Lamanites until he slew and drove them back.

 34 And thus he cleared the ground, or rather the bank, which was on the west of the river Sidon, throwing the bodies of the Lamanites who had been slain into the waters of Sidon, that thereby his people might have room to cross and contend with the Lamanites and the Amlicites on the west side of the river Sidon.

…COOL!!! WITH HIS guards (those closest, bound in convent, strength, trust worthy—whatever would deem you the possession of being a "guard" for your head Leader)… together they slew and drove back the enemy…. And the ground was cleared! Why? So the rest of the army (anyone I love or am working with) could go and contend with all the other bad dudes/content with their [challenges, whatever that challenge/enemy may be].

What is symbolic of a ground being cleared? Didn’t the Savior “clear the ground” for me so I could walk the path of repentance, to have a way to escape the very jaws of Hell!? Not taking away the trials, but He cleared the way so I could “have room” to walk on and fight the battles/tests placed before me?!?! In what ways am I “clear[ing] the ground” for those in my family, those whom I work with, those whom I serve? Am I teaching with the spirit in which sets up a “clear ground” where others will have “room to cross and contend” to make covenants and progress?! … Did I loose you on this?! :)

A.)  I want to be someone who is being exercised in much faith so at any given moment I am literally a tool for those I love with my prayers and my desires.

B.)  Am I working at qualifying to be on the front line = devoted/supporting whatever God allots to my path so that I can be a guard for/with Him, and for truth?!

C.)  What am I doing to clear the way (teaching, serving, preparing the ground) so that I am giving room/making room for someone else to be able to contend with/go to war/conquer the challenge “enemy” before them?!

GO ALMA!!! Go GUARDS!! Is this not what being a member of His church is all about?! Clearing the ground!

I am thankful for "cleared" ground.

Happiness is a new semester of Mission Prep.

IT WAS A GOD THING

Here she is...!

I had no idea when I was taking the picture with my phone, that this sunspot was showing up, but I guess it is a good reminder of the process with this car.

It has been over a month since the guy hit me. A month of ups and downs, kindness from my parents as they juggled around their cars so I could have a car to use. (Thank you mom and dad!) Kindness from the folks who were searching for a car for me--truly the experience was a faith one.

Several weeks back as Kathy (the one who was searching the auctions for me) would send me over different cars--I was just at a lost as to which one. Through many impressions, and the blessing of "giving over my car burdens to God" (for entry click here), I came to feel that the car I should/would get would be a Toyota Camry. I didn't really describe my thought process/impressions with Kathy, but would simply deny all the perfectly right and perfectly priced cars she would send over. **Some were BEAUTIFUL temptations. Fully loaded leather, sunroof, pretty cars. And each one she would send over I would quickly respond no. I think she was getting a little frustrated as she was sending me cars that matched what I was looking for. Finally the impression came, "The next Camry she sends over will be your car." It was something to that extent... So when the impression came, I eagerly anticipated it would be that day or for sure the day after. ... NOTHING. For several days, then a full week went by of her sending nothing over. Then when she did finally send of a beauitful car, it was a very sweet loaded corolla. : / . Again I turned it down. And again almost another full week passed, but I could not deny what I felt impressed about. I even told her to stop looking at Honda Accords for so was the impression on the Camry.

I laugh and think of Karisa's impression. She pleaded with the Lord that she just needed one date, just one date with John. The revelation came that she would be given that one date and so clear was the impression that she no longer worried... but that date didn't happen for THREE MONTHS after that revelation came!  Talk about faith!  I only had to wait a few weeks, thankfully. But I like to believe, that I would have waited like Karisa, even for three months. I AM SO THANKFUL THAT THREE MONTHS WAS NOT MY LOT IN HIS PLAN HOWEVER! :D (Karisa--see your dating impressions still apply to different aspects in my life! Love you!)

Last Saturday as mom and I left the Manti temple and started to home, Kathy's email came through- "2009 Camry".  I almost dared not look at the "specs" of this auction car because I already knew this car was to be the one. So within mins of the email coming through (and just viewing the pictures on my phone) I called up Kathy and told her to get it. She sounded surprised. But she told me she would call me Monday. She felt there would be lots more cars going for sale on Monday. So the plan was she was going to call me on Monday. The auction was in AZ on Tues and she had a huge surgery Wed that would put her out for 8 weeks on her one foot That meant, that her husband wouldn't fly out to get the car until at least Thursday. I simply told her no problem and that I looked forward to chatting on Monday.

All last weekend, I didn't' even open the email on a big computer screen because I knew it was the car God was approving/directing me to have--so I didn't want to open up the pictures and start fault finding with the things I didn't like about the car.

Saturday passed, Sunday, Monday came and Monday went. No emails from Kathy no calls. Tuesday came. Still nothing. By 4pm I thought surely the Auction had finished, but not a word. Did the car go through? She was having surgery the next day, should I stay silent/call? After all this couple doesn't make that much money off of helping me--I didn't want to bother them.  So many questions floating around. I was going to the Timp temple that night, and as the temptation of the anxiety threatened to show it's ugly little head, I felt at peace and felt impressed that I would hear from Kathy after the temple.

I came out of the temple and as I looked at my phone, I fully expected to see something- a call, an email.  No email, no call.  I was not disheartened, but as I drove away from the temple (9pm) I reminded the Lord about the impression I had had. No sooner later, this email came through on my phone....

My husband is bringing home the camry, he won't be here till late tonight, but you can call and talk to him tomorrow afternoon, or I will have him call you.  he says it's a really nice car, will talk later take care

 Yes I did pull over to fully read the email.... and good thing too, for the tears just started to pour down my face. I know it is "just" a car, but it has been a month of testing. A month long lesson in faith building and trusting. Not only was the car purchased, but her husband had flown out/now was driving back from AZ with it. I didn't drive for a moment, for the tears were just too steady.

That was Tuesday night. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I found out the price of the car/all the details. Apparently their are a lot of rules when you are going to wipe out your saving accounts so you can pay for the car with cash. I was at the bank for nearly a hour with Kaiden. I wondered if just getting a loan instead of paying with cash would have been less "work". But in the end... I have a car, in my garage, completely paid for, and an almost completely empty banking account. A month long process. Saved $1,750.

Does God care about which car we get/have? Where to live, our jobs, our "any" concerns? While those items are just "mortal" items, I know God cares about me, and getting the right car/whatever package I was to invest in was important to me, and because I am important to God, I completely know, God opened up doors and led me to get this specific car.

"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good..." Alma 37:37

It's just a car. = It was just a doing. And His counsel and impressions DID/always do direct me for good.

It was surely a faith thing. It was a God thing. I am a thankful thing! I have a car!

NOT SLOW TO REMEMBER THE LORD

There is much I would like to write about but something specific for this morning. Last night as I was dumping my phone, I found this picture. Seriously, this picture has not been touched at all--straight from a parking lot in Provo. How can you have moments like that and not know there is a God? Everyone must do his/her own searching/discovering. I found that out on the cruise last week. (Yes I will have to post some pictures later of the cruise because I took some fun shots.)

MEET ELLIOT URIAH ENGLISH!!
My awesome roommate was so kind to let me wake up at the crack of dawn without any complaining from her on how I was awesomely interrupting her sleep. Love you Wendy! About 5:30 I would get up, get dressed and head down to the jogging track. Most mornings were so windy that the doors were closed and the ship wouldn't let us out. But after much asking of the staff members, someone told me I could get to the track by going through the gym section of the ship. THANK YOU NICE PERSON for the information. After my attempt to keep my jogging program going, I would sneak back into my room, grab my scriptures and head up to the 15th floor where I found a little quite nook to study in. This was my habit every day. The nook was a more closed deck outside. I would move the chair and a table away from watching who was walking by and turn myself so that I wouldn't be distracted by people walking by.

Well, here it was Friday morning--just one day left on the Oasis and Uriah catches my attention. I looked up from studying to find this bright smiling 22 year old from Guyana. He told me that he came to move my chair and table for me because he had seen me studying there every day--but that I had beaten him to the job by coming up to study a little earlier than in past days. I was very impressed and touched that he noticed a passenger's morning habit and came to set it up for me. Who was this kid!?! :) We had a good chat about the Savior and I was impressed by his kind heart and big smile. Uriah didn't claim the singer card but some how I convinced him to sing me a song. He said that he would come back before I was done studying to sing to me. Sure enough, true to his word he came back. And of all the songs he could have chosen to sing to me--he sang one about God!! My heart was touched. What a way to share his testimony of loving God. Thank you Uriah for the song! Keep up the singing! You have a great voice! (Before the end of the month is up I am going to Google the song and see if I can find the words. It is a song I would like to teach to my kids some day.) (BUMMER--I can't get the movie to upload. I will try again later. But the song says, ""Lord you are more beautiful than diamonds. And Lord you are more constant than gold. And Lord you are more precious than silver. And nothing I desire compares with you…"-- I will try to upload it and see if I can get Uriah's awesome singing uploaded by tonight.)

I left my study that morning, praising Heavenly Father for allowing to meet Uriah.

Later that day I was at the pizza parlor and before I said a word about what to do with my pizza, the sweet Jamaican girl behind the counter, with a HUGE grin on her face told me about her morning dream. She dreamed that Satan was chasing her--and she was running away and trying to get out of his grasp. She finally found a window and jumped out of it just in time to escape his power/grasp. I asked her why she was smiling and she she said that when she woke up, she immediately called her sister and asked her sister to pray for her soul. She was happy because her sister prayed for her and she felt a peace come into her soul after having such an intense and ugly dream. That peace, she told me, was why she was smiling so much.

Seriously, this girl and I had only exchanged a smile before she just shared her morning with me. Again, I could not help but smile at her openness to tell someone why she was so happy/smiling.

Then Sat morning, about 6 AM--as I was waiting to get off the ship, I was sitting in central park at a little cafe. Seriously, I indulged a little in their raisin, bran muffins. AMAZING! As I was looking up into the dark/fog filled sky, an employee came walking by. He was from India. I smiled and we had a great conversation. Now... by the end of this trip, I was already in awh with all the people who where serving me. 2,000 employees are on the Oasis. Many of them don't get my tips, and the ones that do, don't get anything until the end of the week anyway... But here, their constant focus was MY and all the other cruisers, happiness/satisfaction/enjoyment. I was amazed at their humanity. I pondered over and thought "Well done!"--to Royal Caribbean for building up 2,000 employees to be better neighbors, kinder citizens wherever the next journey in their lives take them. --The last two days of the trip, these thoughts were heavy on my mind, and my own need to become better in my humanity. Well this kid from India starts chatting with me. And before he left, he thanked me for being friendly--! He was kidding right?! For that is how I felt everyone one that worked on that ship was. Just good good people!! I was reminded again and again, how each of us is a Son or Daughter of God. Our Heavenly Father's qualities can be found in everyone.

I surely did not want to go on this business trip, but both Patti and I prayed and we felt I was to go. And walking away from it, yes quite exhausted, like the mission, going to the temple, institute, studying, I am more in debt! I am so thankful God allowed me to view so many different nationalities of people. I saw their kindness and constant goodness. Wow--I learned a lot. I want to be better as a result of being around Uriah, the Jamaican gal who's name is too pretty for me to remember how to spell and this guy from India. I stand all amazed. Every single person has something to offer. Everyone has something to give. We are here not to just by pass earth life and "get through it" but to truly work and serve, love and support our brothers and sisters. ALL we come in contact with. I am not here for my own journey alone. If I were, what a sad and selfishly lonely life earth life would be.

LED TO A VERSE
Felt to share this personal revelation to me. Not for anything more other than I felt to write it down and share it.

Seems like all those that I deeply love are going through their own little times of trial and hardship. Yesterday and the last few days have been filled with deep emotions. Some anxieties. I have fasted, I have prayed many times throughout the day on my knees requesting God's assistance to all those that I love. No one is dieing! Don't take alarm. :) But everyone in their own way have awesome Goliaths and Labans they are facing. And yesterday the overwhelming thoughts of all that is to play out. I felt much in my soul like the servant that was with Elisha in seeing all of the chariots of soldiers ready to pounce them, "Alas, my master! how shall we [they] do?" I do not believe in despair, I have too much hope...but truly the burdens I behold others going through caused a great heaviness on my soul. Then, as God does so often in my life, he led me (not in my normal routine of reading in order) he led me to read Alma 55 in preparation for institute tonight... and there the Balm of Gilead was given! As I am sure that Joseph Smith in his own Hell of Carthage Jail must have received a stirring and deep peace in receiving D&C 122...I too was given such a moment by reading Alma 55:31

But behold, the Nephites were not slow to remember the Lord their God in this their time of affliction. They could not be taken in their snares..."

"...not slow to remember the Lord their god in THIS THEIR TIME of affliction."(emphasis added) I read this verse and wept. I am not perfect, so far from it. But with confidence I can say that I have strived not to forget God in good times and in bad times. And this verse spoke peace to my soul. It was as if God was saying, "Hey Bryndi, I have got your back. You are not slow to remember me. Those whom you love are not slow to remember me. Trials are here. Affliction is great and yes very deep, but I am here. You are not without me right now in this your time of affliction." I told you---kind of really personal. :) I often play Richard G. Scott's words over and over in my mind.

"No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life."

And I did last night before coming upon the verse, ponder over Elder Scott's words. I told myself that the challenges were just temporary scenes to be played out as a background of a pleasant life. "Temporary" played out in the "background". Background is just filler stuff. It is not the focus of anything. In a picture, the subject is the focus and the background often becomes blurred.

Well, this verse spoke much peace to my soul. I rejoiced/found great peace in the fact that I can say with confidence I have been striving to keep God/remember him throughout my days. I try to direct my thoughts to him and be with a constant prayer in my heart. This being said, I am not perfect. I am far from it. But there is something to say about the peace in being prepared. I am well acquainted with who Heavenly Father is and what keeping his commandants can do/do do for me. At this moment of my time and those I love times of affliction--we are not just Sunday worshipers of a God we only know through an hour of Sunday worship. We are a family/friends acquainted with the tender mercies of God throughout the week. There is not a day that goes by that I do not see His hand witnessed and often countless times throughout each day. I know in whom I trust! And just as another act of His many countless kindnesses, he allowed me to be reminded that I have remembered him in times of joy, and I will remember him in this my time of affliction and I can call upon Him in this my time... the deliverance/kindness of God was that, "They could not be taken in their [the enemies/the affliction/the trial's] snares..." May this very personal thing, help whoever feels entrapped by a snare of whatever magnitude/shape.

PS. SIDE NOTE! MIRACLE!!! I had the opportunity to go with a girlfriend to the temple yesterday morning. Boys--oh you would be so lucky to date such a girl!! As we were walking up to the temple from the parking lot my girlfriend turned to me and asked if we could slow our pace for she was starting to be "huffing it" as we walked. Embarrassed at my speed in my walk, I slowed down and told her of course we could slow down...we both laughed and walked the normal speed one should walk in high heals. It wasn't until after leaving the temple that I caught the miracle and significance of our walking!! I was not "huffing" at all. Now I am not in awesome shape yet, but for months I have been working on it. Just last year, I would dread over ever having to walk up to the temple with a guy because I knew I would have to be hiding my inside huffing of walking fast up the slanted hill. It is like the dreaded stairs at UVU. You start at the bottom and by the time you get to the top floor, which is from the bottom of campus to the top--by the time you get to the top you are trying to not look winded and you are keeping a smile on your face just so your mouth is open to get as much air to your lungs without looking like you are gasping for it. If you are reading this and have not never experience this/know what I am talking about--you can stop reading now because there is just no way for you to sympathize or know! ;) Well, that is how I used to be going to the temple. And yesterday, in high heals, I was walking fast enough to make my friend winded. Not on purpose of course. Lesson learned, I want to make people comfortable and I will watch my pace. Miracle witnessed! I DID NOT HUFF!!! Really!? ... I stand all amazed! And anyone who knows me ... reads all amazed! ha ha Told you!! God, IS a God of miracles!! :)

DIRECT COURSE

I just love Alma's words--

"...never be weary of good works...be meek and lowly in heart...O, remember, learn wisdom... cry unto God for all thy support...let all thy doings be unto the Lord...let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord...let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good...at night lie down unto the Lord...risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God..." (emphasis added.) Alma 37:34-37

God really wants us to communicate/commune with him! He is surely not hiding his face.

I am embarrassed to say, I am pretty sure that I have always read verse 36 with the word in my mind of "afflictions" of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever, not "affections". TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORDS!! And although I do believe God wants me to place my afflictions on him-- affections means = feelings! Such beautiful council to me.

A few verses of reminders of why we don't give up on our journey. If I feel my path is not being direct, I must take heed and do a self check to see--have miracles wrought by the power of God ceased in my every day life? I am promised that I can have them daily, (vs. 40). If they have ceased, it is not because God has stopped being a God of miracles, but I have ceased "being" for God.



What transgressions?! Being slothful (is that the same thing as just forgetting to call on God...)forgetting to exercise faith--I am all about a direct course! :)

I am thankful for the atonement that allows me to get my life back in check. And by small and simple things--great things can and do come to pass!

The amazing Monica told me at the temple this week how God does extraordinary things by humble circumstances---a God was born, the son of God, laid in a manger. A compass that can show the way and have writings on it--just a humble ball of medal--but extraordinary things came to pass. Girls and guys go out, with not that much education--extraordinary things come out of their mouth, and yet they are just a means of a 19/21 year old. The Book of Mormon an extraordinary book brought about by journal entrees etched into metal. God our Father and Jesus Christ (extraordinary visitation) apear to a boy of 14 and call him by name! After baptism and receiving the gift of the holy ghost, I can be completely cleansed for the week by participating/partaking of the sacrament. Extraordinary things happen in/through/by humble means!

So it can be with my life. If I will remember to exercise faith and be diligent, God can do something extraordinary with my path and my course. I need not be wondering in a wilderness, thirsty and hungry for blessings/revelations. God has an oasis that he is willing to share with anyone who will come! A direct path for me to trod, and miracles to be had daily. They are mine for the taking, Oh if I will commune with God! Oh if I would council with him in all my doings--for I do want to be directed to do and be good works continually. Does this mean I always get a finger writing on the wall to tell me where to step and when to turn left or right? No of course not. God wanted me to come to earth to learn how to use my agency. But I do believe, if he has an opinion on something, and I have faith enough to ask, he will impress me with whatever. And when he puts it back in my court-I will just move forward, go and do, and trust/have faith that if he needs my feet/service/attention somewhere else, he will let me know.

OH what a good morning with Alma. I do love that man. Because he has sons, he is already taken. But maybe in the here after I can see if he has an available brother! ;) Ha ha, just kidding, (kind of! ;))

The church is true!

After thought:
I just posted this, and went about my day when it dawned on me the words used in verse 37 of Alma 37. "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good..." We are told to counsel with the Lord in ALL our doings. Counsel is to = advice; opinion or instruction given in directing the judgment or conduct of another. We are not told we will have a, "do this or do that" comment back from the Lord, but we are promised right there that HE WILL DIRECT us for GOOD! What a promise! I surely can put all my money in that bank! I do want to be about good, and whether he verbalizes/uses the spirit to prompt or just lets me go on my own, I can bank on the fact that I WILL be directed by him FOR good! What an awesome promise for just counseling with the Master Councilor. Again, extraordinary things come out by the means of just being on our knees. God is good!

PATIENCE IN SPRING

There is new life in spring!


LESSON LEARNED TODAY
When I woke up to go exercise I had the thought that I would want to take my camera. My camera was in the car and so with that I told myself I didn't want to go walking with my camera in hand. Well-- needless to say within 4 mins of my walking I found this beautiful patch of purple weeds! And of course I started chuckling over the fact that God was again right! (I know--I know! When is He ever wrong?! Just when will I learn to listen.) So I quickly jogged to my car to retrieve my camera.

It was nearly 10 mins of just having fun shooting the flowers.

I looked over at the morning sky and hoped that soon the sky would be filled with morning sun so I could have the light of the sun enrich the pictures I was taking.


I looked out to the west mountains jealous that the sunlight had already hit the mountain peaks. I was still in the shade of the east mountains. I decided to walk a little ways but not wanting to miss the first moment of sun, I quickly walked back to the patch of flowers and waited impatiently for the sun to flood the ground with color. Now ironically I had the priesthood session playing in my ears and I was listening to President Uchtdorf's message. Yes--his topic and subject matter of choice was, "Continue in Patience".

The very moments he was saying why we needed to be patient--I was impatiently walking up and down waiting for the sunlight to come. I just started laughing at how God was teaching me, that yes I need a little more patience. But my wait for the light was well worth it!

Lets just say that my exercise went to pot this morning but I really enjoyed basking in golden purple petals!




I jumped in the shower to get ready for the morning. I had a breakfast date with a good friend and I wanted to make sure I was on time. As I got ready, over and over I pondered on my morning experience on not being patient for the sunlight to reach the flowers and having President Uchtdorf teaching me that I Bryndi, need to have more patience. (I say Pres. Uchtdorf, but really it was God teaching me through his servant's words.)

The past few weeks and months God has wanted me to know about:
trusting in him,
leaving to him to order and provide,
cleaving to good things,
to suffer things to grow,
doubt causes a hard heart,
to remain faith filled,
not to complain,
and
how He wants me to remember now and for a while that "Patience is a process of perfection".

This morning was one of pondering for sure.

Right before I left for breakfast, not wanting to be late, but knowing I just needed something to help sustain my morning I said a quick little prayer that God would let me open up and read just one verse that would give me insight and a boost for the day. (This was a plead because I knew I didn't have time to devote any time to of studding before I left).

My Book of Mormon opened up to Alma 26 and my eyes went straight to verse 28. I laughed out loud, as you might too!

28 And now behold, we have come, and been forth amongst them; and we have been patient in our sufferings, and we have suffered every privation; yea, we have traveled from house to house, relying upon the mercies of the world—not upon the mercies of the world alone but upon the mercies of God.

Again--can God get any more direct to get the point across!?

After this patient scripture, I started asking, "Okay Heavenly Father, you are preparing my reaction for things to shortly come--aren't you?!" And so true. I felt order when life didn't feel like it was out of order. I felt cleaving to good things when I felt I already was, but didn't know it would be hard to continue. I felt that I would need to/had to suffer things to grow--at a time that didn't feel like suffering at all--but again in all of this, God is really good with "prep" work! Because little did I know then, but all the things He has been teaching me/impressing my mind with, have been shadows of the attitudes/traits I will/have needed to take on with current situations in my life. ALL of his counsel has come to pass--! (No shocker there!:) He always knows what is best.

With this fore-shadow of needing to know/understand and embrace the patience principle...I spent a good chunk of time by a river, walking alone with my camera in hand pondering over patience. As I walked I was touched at how at this time of year, everything is growing and changing! New life is springing up everywhere! And as new growth takes place--patience is the very principle that the new growth is having to practice.

Here is a taste of my walk by the river. All the quotes are from President Uchtdorf's Patience talk.

















EVERYTHING in it's sphere of life, must experience patience! A tiny bud cannot cover a tree with beautiful flowers over night! Sure there are time for miracles, and I am a full believer/know that God is excellent at preforming miraculous miracles with no time at all.

With all the beauty that is taking place in this spring time--I am reminded that there are days when the mountain shadows cover us and we long for the "son"light to reach our outstretched petals. Sometimes we may have to wait all night, a day, a week, a month or even years--but this I do know--the "SON"light always comes! And patiently I will wait.

AFTER THOUGHT FROM YESTERDAY'S BLOG
Notice the three ducks in this picture?



The small light colored female got out of the water by stepping on a rock and for several, several mins ran her beak through all of her feathers I am sure seaming them together. While she did this, the larger duck--which it was obvious was her mate-- swam down the river. One time the dark duck got too close for comfort and the Male lover swam for at least 20 secs in a fast manner beating it's wings up and down on the river. The scene was very impressive, I must say!


The darker duck never approached again while I was sitting there.

The female duck did not seem alarmed at all, but went on seaming her feathers together.

After the dark duck was shewed far away, the male duck seemed to give his bride her space to fix her feathers and he just swam back and forth in the river from bank to bank making what felt like was a wall of "back off". As soon as the female was done grooming herself she got back in the water and the two reunited and swam together upstream.


You could argue that it was just "habits of ducks". But for me, being able to watch this, I was deeply touched by the symbolism. Like the talk from yesterday's post--Adam, with time, had the the wisdom and contrast to fully appreciate Eve and all she had to offer and what she would mean for him.

The male duck, seemed to know his "Eve" and all she meant to him. And he was prepared to keep her safe and happy at all costs.

Well I better get ready for the Sabbath! I will be taking the sacrement looking at all the ways the Savior was patient with his own sufferings/timings. How He is endlessly patient with me.

The Church is true! God sure does love us! He loves me! (And I am not complaining! :))

Spring is another gentle reminder that new growth requires some awesome patience. Patience with ourselves and others.

I will--patiently--grow!

GOSPEL OF HOPE-NUMBERS DON'T LIE

Alma 13:28-29

But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering;

Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

These are great words to live by. I reminder that I want to become better than I was yesterday. Heavenly Father is so merciful with all of us. He wants us to be happy. The gospel is the gospel of hope. Praying and watching continually will help us to not be tempted about which we can bear. Going to church, saying our prayers and reading our scriptures helps us stay watchful and keeps our mind linked to god.

A girlfriend from work let me borrow a book of quotes she has kept. I don't have his name with me, so I appologize--but I will add it as soon as I know who said the quote, but the quote basically said that if we are members of the church in an average life time we will have partaken/participated in renewing our sacrement covenants over 3,000 times. That says to me that we have a merciful father in heaven who knows we are going to screw up at least 3,000 times or more. That tells me that one can't be reminded enough to keep moving forward, keep trying and to keep holding on. at least 3,000 times to renew our covenants, at least 3,000 times to start afresh again...just imagine if we were able to go to the temple once a month or a few times a month. if it is just twice a month that is 1,400 of God's children we are helping on the other side. 1,400 souls (because we can't start attending until we are 12) and who knows how many sets of missionaries that helped prepare them. Going a few times a month doesn't seem to be a lot, but when you look at a life time of doing it--the impact is significant. We are told by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass. Going to church and renewing our covenants weekly is such a small act--but an act that I believe Alma knew would change lives. Change lives enough to try to achieve all we are suppose to become in those two verses:
-humble ourselves before God
-call on his holy name
-watch and pray continually - so we won't be tempted above that which we can bare
-be led by the holy spirit
-BECOMING
-humble
-meek
-submissive
-patient
-full of love
AND
-ALL long-suffering
-HAVING
-faith on the Lord
-a hope that we will have eternal life (hope we are going to make it!)
-love of god ALWAYS in our hearts
-be lifted up ta the last day
-enter into his rest

Oh I love that Alma said "becoming", not become. To become something is an end destination. If I have become skinny, I am skinny! ;) But becoming something--"becoming" is a process not a destination. I believe the decision of always becoming better then we are right now, will land us a destination entering (again "enter" is a process) into his rest. Alma did not say we will be "in" the rest of god, but "enter" into his rest. The partaking of the sacrement 3,000 times in a life time my math says starting at age eight and living to the age of 72, that is 64 years of partaking of the sacrement 48 times a year because 4 Sundays are gone for stake and general conference, that gives you over 3,328 times taking that sacrement. And that is if you are never sick or have to skip a Sunday! I HATE math and numbers, but boy, I sure get excited over this!

Just another reminder of how perfect God is and how far I am off, BUT that he is willing to work with me--a whole lot! At least 3,000 times a lot. Repetition, second chances, repentance--the ultimate phrase is the Atonement.

No wonder it is called the gospel of hope! At least 3,000 times hoping at becoming better than we are right now!

In case I don't have a chance to say Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas! Merry means = full of cheerfulness or gaiety; joyous in disposition or spirit. Christmas is the celbration of the birth of Jesus Christ. May we all be FULL of cheerfulness (my parents are such a good example to me on this) because JESUS was born, lived, died, and IS living for us. May we be, "Joyous in Christ". And with 3,000 chances at least-how can one not be joyous at that!?!

Merry Christmas.

ps. Thanks to little Mia for being so amazingly cute!

YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS

Monday night was a special treat! Dad cooked up steaks and we had the privilege of having Uncle Paul come over and then were treated by Iron Man, Dooges, and Brynner Bean! Grandpa gave the lesson on Nephi getting the brass plates. When the kiddos would answer a question right they were able to go up to the piano and hit one of the keys. (The piano just got tuned on Saturday so every note is happiness to the ears instead of the painful noise it made before it was tuned!) Grandpa's lesson was all on doing the things the Lord commands.

When little Brynnlee got a question right--it was her turn to go up and play the piano. She can be very out going and talks up a storm, but when in the spotlight, her shy mode kicks in. She didn't want to go play a note on the piano by herself, she wanted her dad to help her. I wondered what Brytt would do. Without giving her a hard time he got out of his chair and took her hand as they walked over to the piano. When they got to the piano he told her all she had to do was reach up and play a note. Brynnlee became very shy and told him she didn't want to. She wanted him to do it. Brytt gently told her that she needed to play it herself, he even offered to hold her wrist to guide her hand to the note, but Brynnlee would not do it. As she got more and more shy, almost to tears--Brytt walked her back over to the couch. And he said, "Brynnlee, you can do hard things when you're not shy".

Our story with Nephi was him doing something that was completely beyond his own power--getting plates from a man who did not want to give them up. As Alma teaches us, in the strength of the Lord we can do all things. We can do hard things!

President Monson in speaking to the sisters of the church said:

"...do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle."

There will always be hard roads ahead of us. Tough decisions, long work days, crisis that may arise, kids needs that keep needing, sleepless nights, situations less then ideal, disappointments, frustrations, and days when the sun just doesn't seem to shine... but we can, like Miss Brynnlee, do hard things when we have the Lord with us. The Lord, like Brytt, will not play the note for us, but I am confident he will hold our hand and even help sturdy us as we play whatever notes are placed before us.

I can do hard things
I will pray for help,
for He will hear
and to my aid,
He will be there!