GOD PREPARES A WAY!!

So this is nothing new... but can I just tell you how amazing Heavenly Father is?!?!

I have a sweet sister that I visit. And in all honesty, I was shocked with how the Lord opened up doors for me to even have contact with this girl. The first time I visited her with my companion, her boyfriend was there and although he was kind, he made it clear that the gospel was not for him. Last month we set up an appointment to go see her and she asked for me to text her the day of so that she wouldn't forget. I sent a text, called a handful of times, and sent more texts in the course of two days prior to the appointment. Nothing. (You may think a little compulsive, but no-- not true. For I felt okayed from up above, and with the responsibility of caring over those given me in a visiting teaching charge--I knew that God would prepare a way... and He surely did!!!)

My companion and I had pressing schedules the day of the appointment and both needed to be somewhere near 7pm. I told my comp that I had not been able to get a hold of our sister to remind her, but that if she was up for it we would just go by and see if she would keep the appointment that we had set up the week prior. As we drove, I felt impressed that I needed to go over what the bible dictionary talks about with prayer. It was my companion's turn to share the lesson, so I just made a mental note/plea that God would make a way to share what needed to be shared.

We pulled up and knocked on the door and the thought came to my mind that there was movement inside, but no one came to the door. We knocked a few times and then on the way back out to my car, I asked my companion if she would mind us sticking around a little bit. (My thoughts to sticking around was about 10 mins max, but thought if she was to come home we could see her then.)

We had a great time chatting and after finding out my companion has a tender heart for those with physical disabilities we watched a movie I put together a while ago on a little girl in a wheel chair. Our eyes were both wet as we sat in the car and watched the youtube clip off my iphone.

All during our discussion I kept glancing for a sign of a car. Well wouldn't you know it--we sat outside for nearly 30 mins. This is really not a normal practice for me, or for my companion. And just as the movie was finishing--the front door to the gal's house threw open and there her boyfriend stomped out across the grass. I called out his name and he was startled to see me. He gave me a fake smile, lessened his grumpy movements because, I believe, he knew that someone else now was seeing his huffy actions.

Our gal came to the door and was calling him back. It was obvious a disagreement had just taken place. I rolled down my window and called to our girl asking her if we could come in. She had no choice really, because was she really going to say "no"!! NO she was not. She kept calling to her boyfriend as we walked to the door and then made an excuse of how she had been in the back yard which I knew was not truthful, but I was so overwhelmed with gratitude to God for "making" a way that I just smiled at her as she let us in.

We stepped inside and it was apparent they had just been in the front living room. Our sweet sister then confessed that they had been in there and after receiving my text (about 20 mins after we had already come by) that we were just waiting for her outside, her boyfriend became upset and after a battle of words not wanting us there, stormed out of the house--thus HIS STORM--caused a wake for us to ride back into the house! See--! God is truly brilliant! :D

This sweet girl opened up and shared with us her past and about how she just gotten out of Jail for the last time and her experience with the Book of Mormon while she was there. She even showed us her notes she and one of her cell mates had taken on the Book of Mormon. Everything came together as God had me share with her about prayer as written in the bible dictionary. The spirit was present and we know our sister's heart had not only been lifted but she had been given some moments to reflect on things God has already done for her.

My companion and I both left her house rejoicing in God and the miraculous power He had in making a way. And the boyfriend?? He threatened to leave her, but as we were teaching, our sister's little sister came in the house and said that the boyfriend was in the garage sleeping in the car. Ahh, the power of manipulation thankfully did not win out that day!!

Well this journey does not end there and is still continuing.

Our sister texted us and thanked us for stopping by. My companion and I made conference journals for all of our girls with their favorite colors/treats and quotes. I went be the friday before conference and to my surprise this sister came to the door. I was able to give her her journal in person and mentioned I had not heard back from my texts in a few weeks. She told me she had changed cell number and was willing to text me the new number. I left her door step praising god for making a way for me to get her new number.

Well--that was three weeks ago, and since that time I have tried every which way to get a hold of this sister. After I gave her her journal, with her new number she text my companion and I both deep gratitude of thanks... So I knew she didn't hate me for stopping by.

All month she has been on my mind and her lack of not responding to anything. How can I see her? How can I help her feel God's love. I have been given the charge to watch over her, to serve her and to love her--so surely the Lord would make a way yet again!

I decided to up my prayers with love and concern for her. Since Oct first I have stopped by her house several times with no success of having anyone come to the door. All texts, un answered. (I sound like a stocker right?!!--Ha, maybe in the world's eyes I am, but we must do all that lays in our power and then stand still to watch God's miracles unfold D&C123:17.)

Wed- Andrea and I went to stop by what I felt was a prompted visit and found my gal's sister there. She came and talked to us and the visit was completely inspired and both Andrea and I left the house praising God for the chance to talk to the teenage sister.

Yesterday as I was praying how I was going to see my sister, the impression came that I needed to go to her home. I have had this thought several times this month and besides wed night, found no success in reaching her. But the impression came. I text a sister in my ward and asked if she would like to be my companion for the visit, for my actual companion already had family plans. The "substitute" companion invitation was turned down--but I have never been bound to only visiting IF I have a companion. God can still use us if we have the guts.

I pulled outside and was stopped by my neighbor and when she asked where I was going, I sheepishly replied that I was trying a "surprise" attack on trying to catch my sister home. After admitting that and seeing my neighbor's face I felt a ting of guilt and questioned whether the whole thing was a prompting or just me grasping at any way to care for my sister.

I drove to her house. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS--actually found the house without driving through a lot of different roads first! (Miracle because she lives in a weird area that I always go in and out of neighborhoods to find.) As I pulled up I saw the garage door open and joyed seeing a car inside! And even more joy when the back up lights came on. I got out of my car and ran over as the car pulled into the street... AND THERE WAS MY SISTER and her boyfriend! She had the look of "caught" and "I was just leaving". My look was one of pure joy, "God, you are sooo good! You got me here with only a 20 sec window of opportunity!"

We chatted in the street. Them in the car and me outside the window. It was no more than 5 mins of talking when another car pulled up and the man asked my sister about her mom. I could tell from her expression she was less thrilled to see that man/"Caught again" and when he left I asked who he was and she said he was a man from her mom's ward. I smiled internally for surely that man must have been seeking a way to check in on the family too! And surely the sister was just thinking she had bad luck--but I praised God at all His magnificent ways to send in the troops and open steel bolted doors!

My gal committed to a visit wed night and the better news is that her boyfriend will be in Wy and won't be a powerful physical reason of why not to let us in.

Seriously, amazing!!

Now has she wanted to come to God or give up all the things keeping her from God--! The answer is a resounding "not yet"! HOWEVER--God has given me stewardship to love and care for this sister, regardless of the choices she makes. And HE MAKES A WAY for us to love/care for His sheep!! He knows this girl, and loves her more than my imperfect love even knows how.

...this I know, that God has and will continue to prepare a way!! And some of my sweetest recent experience have been when God has told me to do something that my natural man quicker than snot answer was, "NO WAY"! But a WAY is what God will prepare if I am just willing to move my feet/open my mouth and act immediately on the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

And do I have all the free time in the world?! I have just committed to getting up an hour earlier each day because I need MORE time. But if I am for God, and am sincere about wanting to be on His errand--then even in the business and craziness of life and all it throws at us-- God WILL make a way for us! He has been for me!

...BE GLAD!

Last night in institute our studies brought us to section 29. I have studied section 29 before, but as we read verses 31 and particularly 32 my mind opened up to what is probably an obvious insight, but the symbolism was new for me.

Doctrine and Covenants 29:31-32 reads:

For by the power of my Spirit created I them; yea, all things both spiritual and temporal—

First spiritual, secondly temporal, which is the beginning of my work; and again, first temporal, and secondly spiritual, which is the last of my work—

So the order in that second verse is:

Phase 1
1st - SPIRITUAL
2nd - TEMPORAL

then the order changes

Phase 2
1st - TEMPORAL
2nd - SPIRITUAL

With phase 1, we were all created 1st spiritual before ever coming to earth. God prepared a way to have an earth life for us = 2nd temporal. Phase 2 -- born into this earth life we full fill
the "1st" and become "temporal" with our new bodies. And because of the veil placed over our minds we now, on/in this earth life, need to full fill the 2nd and become once again Spiritual! A complete Beautiful circle [square picture-but I think you get the idea]!


So again...this earth life is about becoming Spiritual beings yet again. For we were once! And we have all finished steps 1 and 2 of phase 1 for we all were created spiritually and given a plan for mortality. And we have all finished the 1st step of phase 2 by becoming temporal--for surely our being born in into this life with bodies that age and fall apart, we have accomplished becoming temporal first. NOW for the 2nd step of this journey--becoming spiritual once again, THUS preparing us to be able to live in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I know there are a lot more applications with those verses, but I thought it was a beautiful reminder of what I am to be doing. Christ says:

Lift up your hearts and be glad, for I am in your midst, and am your advocate with the Father; and it is his good will to give you the kingdom.

This life is NOW about becoming spiritual yet again. The Lord's council to David Whitmer is a good reminder to me! Doctrine and Covenants Section 30:

Behold, I say unto you, David, that you have feared man and have not relied on me for strength as you ought.

But your mind has been on the things of the earth more than on the things of me, your Maker…

I often fear man and forget that I am to RELY on Jesus Christ for strength. And too often I fall into the temporal trap of focusing on things that are temporal= having my mind be on "the things of the earth more than the things of [my] Maker"!

Well it's a new day!! And I am all about making my brown arrow--become and achieving white -- the 2nd step of phase 2. To become spiritual once again!!

Jesus is the Christ! He lives! -- And I know it!

...DID FALL UPON THEM

...when they were all baptized and had come up out of the water, the Holy Ghost did fall upon them, and they were filled with the Holy Ghost and with fire. 3 Nep 19:13

The disciples had been praying for that which they "most desired"=the Holy Ghost. And being in the right place at the right time--"the Holy Ghost did fall upon them".

How beautiful this parallel is for me. For I have truly witnessed this all week.

Catie invited me to go with her to the temple on Tues. In preparation for this weekend, I thought not to go to the temple until later in the week, but when Catie invited me I felt to go.

On the way to the temple I saw my favorite UTAH pedestrian! I think I have blogged about her before. This woman sits in her wheelchair and with feet and arms she wheels along the streets of Provo. I once jumped out of my car a few years ago to offer her a coat on a very cold morning, but she kindly declined. I always study her and her dedication of wheeling along. Then one morning as I was watching her I wept as I saw deeper into her life. My trip to the temple had me stopped at an interception to wait for her to cross. Can you see?

I do not know the story of why she only has one foot, but seeing her going through the journey, despite challenges, I can not help but take courage for my own life! This woman is doing it with 5 toes and a metal pole. This temple trip allowed her to "fall" right in front of my camera so I could document such a dedicated daughter of God.

Then in the temple, I was absolutely filled. And I wept over the things that happened in the temple. Just small insights that do big things for my soul! I was grateful for Catie's inspired invitation.
The invitation, the woman's street crossing, and the temple visit were blessings that "fell" upon me.

Tues and Wed I was working quite late and Patti made a comment that changed/enhanced the project I was working on--making the ideas I was working on, come easier! Then Thursday night, I felt to go visit a friend, then to the church where a met a mother of a sister, then as I was driving to see a single mother, I saw a car that is never home and the spirit said to stop. I did. And low and behold this amazing girl was at her place and allowed me to come in. We talked, and I was filled. Then to the surprise visit of someone in the family ward. We discussed praying and it was clear she was not sure how to pray. How sweet it was to share the principle of prayer.

I left overwhelmed with gratitude that I would be able to witness God's mercies so much. A couple of phone calls topped off my night as I friend shared that she was had been fully fellowship and a sister who although sick and way to later her time, wanted to call to say she loved me.

Then Friday morning, off to see Yannie get her endowment! One of the workers came out of incitory weeping. She said it was her first time assisting with an ordinance for a live session. She was deeply moved by the chance of getting to look in the eyes of the patron. And her "moved" moved me and we both hugged rejoicing. Then to the celestial room when I spoke with a woman that had just gone through the temple for herself in Oct, and she and her husband are now striving to be sealed. I felt her dedication to God. She spoke of the long battle it had been to get to the temple, but how sweet the fruit was of finally being there. Again, weeping and rejoicing.

After that it was off to a lunch date with Yannie's future in-laws-- and I was impressed with how much love and respect the couple showed for one another. Such consideration.

As I left lunch I received an inspired text from Lizi asking me to name 10 things that make me ridiculously happy. As I listed my 10--I learned somethings about myself. She then text me asking "what would be the most important thing you want your future children to know?" Another question that just solidified everything I had just experienced in the temple. Thanks Lizi girl!!

Then last night brought Sam's surprise phone call and then skype session from China! What a kid! After that it was off with a 100 cookies to the Hodges house for today's wedding. I pulled up to find Elder Hodges on his lawn mower. He motioned for me to just go into the house. As I walked up the stairs I could hear his whistling over the sound of the mower. Truly a "whistle while you work" moment and I could not stop smiling at the musical display of his joy and inner peace--even while he was working!

Then this morning, a beautiful picture Sam shot with his new camera in China! I had to throw it into photoshop to add a saying that came to my mind as I viewed the picture. And as I typed it I was moved by the thought of the great song. (FYI--I did not tweak his picture at all in photoshop - so kuddos to you Sam! Great shot!:)


And now, God led me to read about how the Holy Ghost did "fall" upon the disciples.

...!!

Physically speaking, if something falls and I am not there--I will miss whatever is falling down! Whether that be: blessings, impressions, angels, revelation, guidance, promptings, the spirit, insight, peace, comfort, someone's heart, a brother or sister, a family member, a stranger. Those disciples--had they chosen to sleep in that morning and not be there at the water, the Holy Ghost would have "fallen" down, but not in their bedroom! Spiritually speaking, I don't want to be sleeping in my bedroom when there are things of the spirit to catch or people to rescue from falling. And even times like with dad--when he passed out in the parking lot and I held on to him as long as I could and then with no longer arms or strength I had to let him fall the rest of the way to the pavement--God had allowed me to be there. And although I could not keep him from falling, I was their to at least lessen the angle of the fall and then right after run for help.

Rain drops keep falling on my head seems maybe a better title for this blog. :) Or rather, blessings keep falling on my head. :)

My re-occurring lesson this week is rather more recommitting than anything. I just want to be about my father's business. Whether that is at home, at school or at play-- I just want to do his will and bidding. For that is where my greatest joys in life are.

D&C 64:29 says --

"Wherefore, as ye are agents, ye are on the Lord's errand; and whatever ye do according to the will of the Lord is the Lord's business."

-- Oh I so want to do the "Lord's business". And like President Monson, I too say to the Lord, "If there is an errand that needs to be done, send Bryndi Cloward--I'll do it!" Whether in the walls of my home/family or outside at church, work, WHEREVER.. here am I, send me.

--still a work in progress! I have so much to work on, but the battle is worth fighting.

ONWARD AND UPWARD!!

AFTER MUCH...

"For after much tribulation come the blessings." D&C 58:4

I love the word much because it prepares me for my expectations workign with tribulation. And the 's' at the end of blessing--excites me that it is more than one blessing! :D This scripture tells us how life can be at times. But like Elder Holland said in his Liberty Jail talk, we are in good company when we are going through hard times.

Elder George Q. Cannon:

"...the Saints should always remember that God sees not as man sees; that he does not willingly afflict his children, and that if he requires them to endure present privation and trial, it is that they may escape greater tribulations which would otherwise inevitably over take them. If He deprives them of any present blessing, it is that he may bestow upon them greater and more glorious ones by and by." (Millennial Star, 3 Oct 1863, p. 634.)

President Brigham Young:

"If the Saints could realize things as they are when they are called to pass through trials, and to suffer what they call sacrifices, they would acknowledge them to be the greatest blessings that could be bestowed upon them" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 345).

Defiantly something to strive for. The last quote, there are many in my family, including myself that will tell anyone who asks, that Dad receiving cancer last year, with all its ugly tortures on the physical body, has been one of the greatest blessings our family has received. Through it we learned patience, trust, humility, faith, determination, trust, more kindness, sincere prayer, courage, His will--be done, and no matter what--we will still serve and praise our Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ. We are stronger because of it. Mom and Dad now serve in the temple--our family values time together all that much more. In so many ways, we did have a happy ending. I am sensitive to those that have had loved ones that have not had the same happy ending. But for whatever time we are given in this earth life, shorter or longer, God is with us. There are miracles to behold. Faith to be lived, His name to represent in all that we do/say and are. Our lives are to emulate Him, our Savior Jesus Christ. And we can claim power from on high to help us through the days when our hands hang down weary and worn or when our heart feels it simply cannot bare any more.

The Turtle in Kunfo Panda says, "Life is a gift, that is why it is called the present." Find your gift in the day and in return be a gift for others.

I am so thankful God trusts us with challenging tests, and in return I will trust Him through the tests. What a morning to praise God! He sure does love us! And as a wise Mary Jo at church bore in her testimony - "We were not sent here to fail". We can do it!

HOPE SMILING BRIGHTLY BEFORE US - DELIVERANCE IS NIGH

The past few weeks I have been studying in D&C on the signs of the times, and what is to come. I must admit, I have gone through all the emotions. While reading D&C 45 I became a little bit of a nervous wreck. As I read deeper into the things that are to come, my heart became sick and full of despair. I found myself thinking it would be nice to not be on the earth when all the calamities are here in their fullness. As I read I found my heart crying, "Alas, my master, how shall I stay!"

I did not speak to anyone about this for several days. As it happened, my scripture study took 4 or 5 days just to get through D&C 45. I can honestly say, my hope was slipping away and I had no idea how to have faith in the future in the prophecies which should come. How can anyone survive what is to come?! I pondered over those that I love. All my sisters in RS, and I wondered if the time were to come now, would I have the faith enough to support them through all the hard things. I seriously doubted I would be able to keep my "cool" and keep unwavering upbeat faith.

But as I finished reading D&C 45 I kept asking in my heart that there had to be hope somewhere? But mine seemed to be all gone.

For verily I say unto you, that great things await you;

Ye hear of wars in foreign lands; but, behold, I say unto you, they are nigh, even at your doors, and not many years hence ye shall hear of wars in your own lands.

Like the Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball--Heavenly Father sent the hope at the end of the chapter. I don't ever remember being taught this, but the verses gave me HOPE!

And it shall be called the New Jerusalem, a bland of peace, a city of refuge, a place of safety for the saints of the Most High God;

And the glory of the Lord shall be there, and the terror of the Lord also shall be there, insomuch that the wicked will not come unto it, and it shall be called Zion.

And it shall come to pass among the wicked, that every man that will not take his sword against his neighbor must needs flee unto Zion for safety.

And there shall be gathered unto it out of every nation under heaven; and it shall be the only people that shall not be at war one with another.

And it shall be said among the wicked: Let us not go up to battle against Zion, for the inhabitants of Zion are terrible; wherefore we cannot stand.

And it shall come to pass that the righteous shall be gathered out from among all nations, and shall come to Zion, singing with songs of everlasting joy.

I love that it is said that the wicked will say, "Let us not go up to battle against Zion, for the inhabitants of Zion are terrible; wherefore we cannot stand." !!! For some reason, I did not think that "Zion" would be established until after the world was totally burned. I have never done the study on this--and boy was I messed up in thinking, but I thought when the New Jerusalem would be here after the wicked had been burned. But here it says that the glory and the terror of the Lord would be in this city and the wicked would not dare come unto it. And yet with all the wicked killing each other, there would be songs of singing of everlasting joy sung by those in the city even with the killing all around about!!! I don't profess to understand these scriptures or the order of events fully, but surely I am not misinterpreting that there will be a place of refuge while there is wickedness still on the earth. And those dwelling there will have peace and joy!!

As I read those words in D&C, after nearly feeling like I was going to collapse with fear for the future--my fear was immediately replaced with hope. And not just some hope, but my hope was and has been BRIGHT! There is hope, bright hope for our future!!! I under stand the words in the hymn, "hope smiling brightly before us, for we know that deliverance is nigh". Hope IS smiling brightly before us!

I loved these words from the D&C student manual p. 98 -

In the scriptures four words seem closely related to
the concept of Zion: gathering, preparation, defense,
and refuge. The tribulations and judgments that will
be poured out upon the world prior to the Second
Coming will be so extensive and devastating that if
the Lord did not prepare a means of preservation,
His people too would perish. But He has prepared a
means for His people to escape those terrible times;
that means is Zion. Enoch was told that the Lord
would preserve His people in the tribulations of the
last days by gathering His elect to Zion where they
could gird up their loins (prepare themselves) and
look forward to His coming (see Moses 7:61–62). In
an earlier revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants,
the Savior called the elders of the Church to gather
the elect so their hearts could be prepared for the day
of tribulation (see D&C 29:7–8). In 1838 the Lord
explained that the gathering to Zion and her stakes
was to be for defense and refuge from the coming
storm that will be poured out on the earth (see
D&C 115:5–6). These commands and promises are
found also in section 45. The Saints are to gather to
Zion (see D&C 45:64–65), a place of safety, peace, and
refuge (see v. 65). Even though the rest of the world
is in a state of horrible warfare (see v. 68), in Zion
(D&C 115:5–6 implies that this includes her stakes)
there will be peace and joy (see D&C 45:69–71).
The Prophet Joseph Smith taught: “Without Zion,
and a place of deliverance, we must fall; because the
time is near when the sun will be darkened, and the
moon turn to blood, and the stars fall from heaven,
and the earth reel to and fro. Then, if this is the case,
and if we are not sanctified and gathered to the
places God has appointed, with all our former
professions and our great love for the Bible, we must
fall; we cannot stand; we cannot be saved; for God
will gather out his Saints from the Gentiles, and then
comes desolation and destruction, and none can
escape except the pure in heart who are gathered.”
(Teachings, p. 71)

I love - "...He has prepared a means for His people to escape those terrible times..." And this morning in my reading I read another great quote. Harold B. Lee said:

"The Lord has clearly placed the
responsibility for directing the work of gathering in
the hands of the leaders of the Church, to whom He
will reveal His will where and when such gatherings
would take place in the future. It would be well,
before the frightening events concerning the
fulfillment of all God’s promises and predictions
are upon us, that the Saints in every land prepare
themselves and look forward to the instruction that
shall come to them from the First Presidency of this
church as to where they shall be gathered. They
should not be disturbed in their feelings until such
instruction is given to them as it is revealed by the
Lord to the proper authority.” (Ye Are the Light of the
World, p. 167.)

HOPE HOPE HOPE AND HOPE!!!!!!!!!!! I no longer feel this panic and fear for our future. I don't even know if I will be living in the fullness of these prophesies. The difference for me now, is that I am now OKAY/and HOPE-FILLED for the time ahead. And yea if the Lord would let me live in such a time. Never the less, His will be done.

Heavenly Father is the master architect. His blue prints include every bolt and nut needed to complete our lives and destinies. He has enough lumber to build my soul/heart securely. His plan included the sacrifice of Son, Jesus Christ, so that His completed plans of me, could become and be a masterpiece. His blue prints are not hidden away, but are fully laid open before us all. The scriptures, our P-blessing, the temple, the living prophets and apostles.

There is hope smiling brightly before us. And I have just read about the ways that His deliverance IS nigh!

My heart is full of Hope!

Bryndi

STANDING STILL

Meet Lee and Gerry Shepherd--My adopted grandparents!
For the 4th of July weekend we happened to run into each other at the Scofield fair. It is always quite emotional for me to be around these wonderful, faithful folks, for they mean so much to me.

Gerry has been fighting Thyroid and Lymphoma Cancer for some time now. Food has not been her best friend lately.

Thursday I felt impressed that I needed to go to their house the next day. So strong was the impression that I planned my whole morning around the visit.

As I drove to their house, I noticed that Lee's car was gone. As I went and knocked on the door, I was a little quizzical as to why the Lord would send me to an empty house...but I have a testimony of spending a whole night driving around to see different girls (following promptings as to what house to go to) none of which were home--just so that someone in the stake would drive by at the exact time I was getting in my car from the last empty house visit. She call me up because she saw me going to my car and a needed conversation was given in depth for 20 mins. Why all the empty home visits with promptings? Just for the one Stake gal who needed a friend. God does care about the one!

Gerry finally came to the side door. She didn't open the door but just started signing to me. She had medical gloves on her hands.

I stood on my tippy toes and pressed my face against the top of the glass to make out what she was trying to tell me:.

I was not to come in. She was to be in her house by herself for over a week to try and get her body to respond/become more healthy. I could feel her frustration and sorrow as I watched her sign.

I felt helpless. I couldn't give her a hug, I couldn't wipe away her tears. All I could do was sign through the glass and press an "I Love You" hand to the window.

What a brave, strong woman of God.

I walked back to my car as my cheeks glistening in the sun. I knew only the Savior knew of her loneliness and her struggle to fight the cancer, her fears for the future, and her faith for the present. I know that although her husband and daughter had to leave her house and she was physically alone--I know she was not "alone". I pulled away weeping while I prayed aloud...

What a strength to me! Endurance and long suffering in all things. Thanks Grandma Shepherd for the example you have set up. I know you love God. I know He loves you!

GRATITUDE

These last few days have been a whirl win of emotions. Seemed like Satan was out for blood.

Sunday, I felt I had every reason in the world to pray and plead for help but during church, Yazmin reminded everyone that we need to be filled with gratitude. I had the distinct impression while sitting in sacrament that for the rest of the day I was only to speak gratitude in my prayers. A few situations came up that I was floored with what to do and my natural reaction is to pray for help--but I was reminded again by the spirit that I was only to pray words of gratitude and thanks.

It was a very interesting, but extremely rewarding day of prayer. At times I felt frustrated and like a ship without a rudder, however the Lord did not forsake me! He taught me some important lessons, for which I am grateful for. Sometimes we are to just count our many blessings- naming them one by one- and then we ARE surprised by what the Lord done.

How is it possible for me to forget all the Lord has done?! For he spoils me every day. And yet in the middle of my beautiful garden, I sometimes only focus not on all the flowers and wonderful fruit trees, but rather the mosquitoes and black biting ants. When I focus on those "little" guys, I miss all the amazing things that make up the whole garden!

Count your many blessings was my theme song for Sunday, and it helped me get through some very trying moments.

TEMPLE

Today brought the temple! I haven't gone to the 5:40 AM session in a long time. Usually I make the 6 AM session, but the 20 mins earlier seems to be a natural killer at times! :) But this morning I went, and the place was packed. I was filled with love and admiration for those who seemed so perky and happy to be in the temple that early.

I was able to spend 15 mins alone in the celestial room. Oh how I want my house to be like His house!

VISITING TEACHING

Tonight I went VTing and was touched by my wonderful companion Katie. The lesson was on Temples and having the girls prepare to go to them. Katie found a book from Dessert Book for each of the girls to help them prepare for the temple. She was so excited to give them the book. I watched as her eyes twinkled and she lit up like a Christmas tree as she gave them out.

Oh it was a beautiful thing to see people do the things they are good at. Serving, listening, giving, hugging, talking, singing--whatever their element is that they like to use to share with/bless others--it is a beautiful thing to watch!

STOP, AND STAND STILL

Tonight I finished D&C 5 at the church. Four times it talks about being humble. There are great blessings for being humble and some pretty harsh consequences when we are not. That was for me. And even more, verse 34 seemed to leap into my heart and in a quite way, that only the spirit can do, I felt the words of the verse were written just for me.
God spoke to my heart: Stop worrying, stop stressing and stand still Bryn. I will prepare away for things I have promised you.

I apologized for how I had been and begged for help to be better and to some how get past all the feelings I had been feeling....and for the first time in 4 days, I was filled with great peace. I was filled with a resolve to trust Him more fully and to not worry. He IS in control and that is okay.

So for this random post that I totally broke my bed curfew to type :)--know that I am a counter of my blessings! One by one and am/do ENJOY all the things God has done! I am confident in/with the Gardner of my garden, and I have full faith in His plans to help me grow and become as beautiful inside and out as I promised Him I would be. I have STOPPED my worrying and am standing still.

Daughter of God--in the making.

BE OF GOOD CHEER

I have since seen this scripture talked about a lot. Even an article in the Ensign was centered around these verses. Back in Oct, I was attending a baptism of a new friend. The whole service was given in Spanish so a sweet friend translated in my ear so I could share in what was happening. It was during this baptismal service when I was given some direct revelation concerning someone I had recently opened my heart up to. The answer came, "Bryndi, you are not for him". I questioned the Lord letting him know, I thought this particular person and I would be quite good together, after all it has been over three years since I opened my heart up to anyone. Didn't it seem fitting that someone who could actually open my heart-- be a keeper?! Didn’t this kid and I share the same goals and values? Didn’t he and I love the gospel and could talk for long periods of time on the scriptures and the sacred things in life!? I made quite certain that the Lord knew all my reasons for why His revelation was wrong. (Note: This is quite dumb! Don’t follow my example. Our Father in heaven knows everything! His ways are not our ways, and His timing is usually not our timing, but HE knows best!!)

I was quite sad with this revelation. By the end of the weekend, my sadness turned into grumpiness. Thank goodness the Lord is patient with all of my weaknesses!!

I went to my institute class at the start of the next week and my teacher led the class to read a verse in D&C 78. I don’t know if I have ever fully read through D&C 78 before, but my curiosity got me and the next hour I found my self enwrapped in the verses found in this amazing section. When I came across verses 17-19 my eyes became wet and I had a hard time seeing the page.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;"

"And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."

"And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.” (D&C 78:17-19)

Yea for Nephi telling us to liken all scriptures unto ourselves! :)

These verses spoke to me. I heard that I was a little child and I could not understand how great blessings Heavenly Father has with his own hands prepared/ing for me. I am to be of good cheer because the Savior will lead me along. And then I got to verse 19. I, Bryndi, needed/need to be thankful for all things. That means be thankful even for this guy I know was divinely brought into my life… and although he and I won’t be hooking up.. I am still to be thankful for him.

I left the library that day filled with amazing peace. I held my head a little higher as I walked to class. Heavenly Father is amazing at bringing answers through the scriptures! And I am of good cheer, for I know who is leading me along!