SHE SAID A PRAYER_Lesson Not Lost

(Apparently I never posted this... well I am pushing the publish button now.)

My sweet visiting teachers came over yesterday with a few of their kids. One of my teacher's was recounting a recent morning she had had with her children.

The morning was crazy, school was going to start but shoes were not yet on but four each seemed to have their own agenda. This dear sister found herself feeling overwhelmed and borderline going to break. There were only moments to get everything done the children seemed to have their own agendas. She told them they needed to have a prayer and re-start their morning or she was going to lose it. She said they all had a prayer and with in a minute after the prayer, all was in order, shoes on and they were heading towards the car. I was surprised to hear that your not being obedient children at the moment would stop and have a prayer with her. She mentioned that they all knew that if they didn't, the day would just not go right.

I was impressed with the morning storm she was facing--but this wise mother's inspiration like these rays of light over the ocean--was to stop, re-group and have a prayer.

Sometimes the answers [have a little prayer as a family] seem way to simple to be the answer.... I was impressed by this Mother's faith and adherence to the spirit.

Lesson not lost on me!

I am grateful for husbands who allow their wives to serve. (Thanks Babe!)

Happiness is being DONE with exercise for the day--because that means I actually did it. :)

"WHERE IS THE PAVILION?"

 

(Isn't this bird awesome!?! I didn't even dare look at the price tag as I was just taking a shot of it for Bishop Madsen to see as it reminded me of an illustration he did once (see here) ... but I wish I had looked at how much it was! I am back in the AZ airport come Aug, and I might just have to see if this beautiful fellow is still there and if I have saved up enough to buy it! IN LOVE!)

Studied President Erying's Pavilion talk. I have listened to it several times, but actually reading it again for this time around, I was impressed with some new ideas. For me, this was deep.

Q: What did he mention was the reason why the Lord had allowed him to stay longer at BYU Idaho?  (I freaked out as I caught this) 

He said: 

"He [the Lord] let me seek counsel and gain His permission to stay at Ricks College. He knew all the reasons that my service might still be valuable at the college and in Rexburg. [Just 30 days after he declined an enticing career offer, the Teton Dam burst]...I was there [Idaho] to ask Heavenly Father frequently in prayer that He would would have me do those things that would help the people whose property and lives had been damaged." 

A: !!!!!!!!!!!!  God used/in part, had him serve longer at BYU Idaho, because of his ability to seek (asking) the will of the Lord/His council in frequent prayer--TO BLESS THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND HIM. What a complement! And among the Leadership skills and other things President Eyring offered, like the bird at the top, one of his "gifts/things" to offer--was that he, president Eyring, seeks the Lord's council in frequent prayer. Seriously, this concept as a principle of leadership, influence, career, WHATEVER, is a crazy insight into how one should manage/attend to all their affairs. 

!!!!!!!! :)

Can the Lord say such a thing of me? Would/could I be used as a tool in the Lord's hand in a like manner because He knew I would seek His will/ask Him/council with Him frequently? Jared obviously knew someone who would council with the Lord for the benefit of others in all things when he kept going to his brother "the Brother of Jared" (as the book of Ether states). Is this not a timely reminder of how my communion with the Lord should be, on a daily basis?!

Sweetly, at the end of his talk, (there is awesome stuff, I can't begin to scratch the surface- you can read it for yourself here ) he says: 

"...if you go for the Lord to bless others, He will see and reward it. If you do this often enough and long enough, you will feel a change in your very nature through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Not only will you feel closer to Him, but you will also feel more and more that you are becoming like Him." 

If we "GO FOR THE LORD" (in our every day lives, work, home, family, simply breathing/living) to bless others often, we are promised: 

• He will see what we do and reward us. 
• Q: Reward us with what?
• A: A change in our very nature-through the Atonement of Jesus Christ
• We will feel closer to Him
• Find ourselves becoming more and more like Him
• Not to mention, in serving we can become what Nephi states as a declaration of his soul: "I have charity for my people and great faith in Christ that I shall meet many souls spotless at his judgement-seat."--2 Nephi 33:7. (How would it be to say "I HAVE charity...! Not just striving for it, but actually saying I have it...?! What an amazing thing to be able to say...)

So I Bryndi K, am and want to/will strive...

in all things.

Can't wait for General Conference!

I am so thankful God has "let" me stay teaching Mission Prep, a little longer. 

I love my students.

And like Nephi, I too can say, I glory in my Jesus,

for He has redeemed my soul

from hell.

  

Happiness is placing one's faith in Christ.

p.s.

Not only can we "go for the Lord" with our actions and our very wills in serving Him... but when it comes time for picking where we will stand, whom we will believe, where we will put our faith and trust... 

GO FOR [meaning CHOOSE] the LORD!

:)

"Oh, there's sunshine, blessed sunshine"

   6:40 a.m. I hear the recorder be played. In my little condo you would be surprised to know how good the acoustics are! I had just knelt down for a morning prayer and I thought how I needed to go quite Ireland so he didn't wake up his folks or his three sleeping siblings. As I tried to concentrate through my prayer, half-hearted--music does this to me--all of a sudden I notice the song he was trying to figure out... it was "I am a Child of God". I smiled as I prayed and no longer wanted to keep him from waking up his family. After this aunt was very impressed with the whole song of I am a Child of God, he played hot cross buns. :) As I left my room to head for work, I was impressed that he was in the living room and when he spoke to me he was whispering...(that is another miracle as he doesn't whisper in the morning very much, but I could tell he was "trying" to be quite and not wake up his siblings, which just might have been a first-EVER!!) :D
   Thanks Iron Man for adding happiness to my morning!
   As I drove into work, I started to sing There is Sunshine in my Soul. I chuckled a bit as I entered the freeway noticing the pretty drab morning. Cold, no visible sign of mountains let alone any sunlight.

 As I sang:

There is sunshine in my soul today,
More glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky,
For Jesus is my light.
Oh, there's sunshine, blessed sunshine
When the peaceful happy moments roll.
When Jesus shows his smiling face,
There is sunshine in the soul.

   I smiled at the application of being surrounded by NO light, literally, yet I know who IS my light. And His light is peaceful and happy.... There is sunshine in my soul. And whenever I choose to focus on Him--there always is sunshine.
   I re-arranged Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam "adult" version and added a verse:

"Dark clouds may threaten--
to destroy my peace,
But if you will look inside,
you will find in me..."

A sunbeam, a sunbeam, Jesus wants me to be.
A sunbeam, a sunbeam, I will be a sunbeam for Him.

   So my morning goes! It has been a challenging month with a big, new project at work. I am constantly overwhelmed with gratitude and God's goodness in the choice revelation He offers me and my co-workers. Most of my projects I cannot do on my own and it takes coordinating many efforts and hands. I am literally dependent on the work/ideas/inspiration of others to get most, of all my projects done/accomplished...that is very humbling needing to be dependent and trusting of so many others skills, time and efforts... but oh how I see God's hands!
   A few weeks back I was pondering and praying about how to make a display work. And in the early morning to my mind came an idea and how the project could work. It was not like Russel M. Nelsons heart stint inspiration--but in my job, it felt like the answer was a "parting of the veil" idea. I discussed this idea with Jeff, and he ran with it. **Which I was so grateful he was open to listening too and trying the idea. IT WORKED! And of course it did, if God inspired it, why wouldn't it ?? but I am still in aw with God's brilliance, even to my little projects. Not in aw that He knows what to do--that is a given, but that He is so willing to help and inspire, guide and lead processes (not world changing, just job sustaining) if asked.
   As I started this project and moved the ball forward, I was wishy washy and knowing that we were taking the project like it has never been done before (just going against a lot of different grains) Patti (inspired) made the comment that she trusted me for she was sure I had prayed over it. WELL- the fact is I hadn't even thought to pray about whether we were going the right direction! I was humbled by her comment and stepped into the bathroom to pray. Felt peace, move forward. That was the first bit of peace I had had with the whole project. Needed that reminder.
   And then yesterday as all the pieces were to come together for the project ships out tomorrow, Marin made the statement of where was my confidence? I was being wishy washy again of how it was all going to come together. She was inspired to question me, but what she was really doing, was reminding me.
   Christ said, "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?"- D&C 6:23
   I was humbled by Marin's statement. Why was I wavering, when I already had had a confirmation from God a few weeks ago?!
   Yesterday as I needed to have some "unknowns" come together, Anna, (one of our awesome Designers at work) with inspiration, made a huge part easily come together. It was a bit of a problem and with in moments she had a brilliant fix. And it was an easy one too when we were set out to do this BIG fix, Anna and Cynthia were inspired with a simple fix! And Cynthia, was the answer to prayer as well as she put all the pieces together on the tables (I have no "girl" in me for arranging things on tables) but Cynthia, the master, patient organizer/arranger made it look stunning.... it was just a humbling day to see the hand of the Lord--for this project. I told Anna as soon as we pack up tonight I will be hitting the 7 am session tomorrow at the temple and will just be crying a lot. She told me not to cry--but it is a good cry. Every time God helps me through/gets me through a big project, AND HE ALWAYS DOES, I seem to have a let down of tears and gratitude afterwards in the temple.
   My heart is full.
There is Sunshine in THIS soul!

Happiness is I am a Child of God--played by a 7 year old on a recorder.

I am grateful for Mission Presidents who come and speak at Sat night Stake Conferences.

I am grateful for the reminder of REMEMBERING the Lord's peace that came-- and in that peace is where my confidence must/needs/should/will/wants/can abide.

Happiness is choice co-workers, who God uses to answer many, many personal prayers!

HE COULD HAVE BEEN "DONE"--BUT THERE WAS MORE TO BE HAD!

The last few weeks in the temple, when I have any waiting/prep time I have felt impressed to open and read Enos. I LOVE ENOS! I would love to name a daughter Enos. I am always drawn to the story, for I feel it is so closely related to my own conversion. I love reading how his soul hungered and he kneeled down before his Maker and cried until him in mighty prayer (Enos 1:4). Oh how I can totally relate!
   So the impression to re-read Enos for the how many weeks in a row, I figured the Lord was trying to teach me something and I assumed that it had to do do with my favorite part... the hungering and seeking God in mighty prayer. (...well one of my favorite parts! There are so many good things in the one chapter.)
   But on Monday the Lord had my mind catch hold of two little words I had not yet given any special attention too...

And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

And I said: Lord, how is it done?

And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.

 The story goes on after this, but that is what is so interesting. Enos is told that it is because of his Faith in Christ (*that is the reason why his sins are forgiven) but he is told... "wherefore, go to, ... " Go to--that is another way of saying, alright move on, next, "GO TO". The Lord had answered his mighty prayer in such a profound way, a beauitful way. He had been praying about the welfare of his soul. (Which is a pretty deep thing to be praying about in the first place.) The very think he was praying about, he got an answer on. For example sake it is like working on a hard project and at the end of the project, with the result achieved, one brushes their hands off and moves on/forward with whatever comes up. In a sense, the prayer was "done". Go to.

But what is so beauitful is that Enos was not done! He could have walked away and been satisfied with the very awesome revelation that he had been given! Choice stuff... but the very next verse after he was told to "go to"... reads:

Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren, the Nephites; wherefore, I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them.

He had his answer. He was "done". BUT GOD HAD MORE TO GIVE--however he will not force the "more" to be had. ...

"More" has to be sought after. There are several more verses of intense revelation that God was willing/did grant, because Enos asked. BUT he had already answered his prayer and told him to "go to". Enos could have just stopped there, but his desires came on for his bretheren and their souls so he continued on his journey in prayer!  **Now I don't' know if this is over the course of many days or all started in one setting... but "go to" was a nice way of saying okay I am finished with that revelation... As I pondered this idea in the temple my mind was flooded with the words from Richard G. Scott's talk:

In that environment, strong impressions began to flow to me again. I wrote them down. The message included specific counsel on how to become more effective as an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I received such an outpouring of impressions that were so personal that I felt it was not appropriate to record them in the midst of a Sunday School class. I sought a more private location, where I continued to write the feelings that flooded into my mind and heart as faithfully as possible. After each powerful impression was recorded, I pondered the feelings I had received to determine if I had accurately expressed them in writing. As a result, I made a few minor changes to what had been written. Then I studied their meaning and application in my own life.

Subsequently I prayed, reviewing with the Lord what I thought I had been taught by the Spirit. When a feeling of peace came, I thanked Him for the guidance given. I was then impressed to ask, “Was there yet more to be given?” I received further impressions, and the process of writing down the impressions, pondering, and praying for confirmation was repeated. Again I was prompted to ask, “Is there more I should know?” And there was. When that last, most sacred experience was concluded, I had received some of the most precious, specific, personal direction one could hope to obtain in this life. Had I not responded to the first impressions and recorded them, I would not have received the last, most precious guidance.

What I have described is not an isolated experience. It embodies several true principles regarding communication from the Lord to His children here on earth. I believe that you can leave the most precious, personal direction of the Spirit unheard because you do not respond to, record, and apply the first promptings that come to you.

Impressions of the Spirit can come in response to urgent prayer or unsolicited when needed. Sometimes the Lord reveals truth to you when you are not actively seeking it, such as when you are in danger and do not know it. However, the Lord will not force you to learn. You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. As you make this a practice in your life, you will be more perceptive to the feelings that come with spiritual guidance. Then, when that guidance comes, sometimes when you least expect it, you will recognize it more easily.  --To Acquire Spiritual Guidance--

Yes, you might just enjoy re-reading the whole talk! CLICK HERE. Brilliant!!

God did not force Elder Scott to receive more revelation. Just as He did not force Enos to receive promised/covenants for future generations. Choice blessings. Because Elder Scott kept asking to see if there was more that he should know, we was given more information until finally when he asked again.. he was given a "most sacred experience...most precious, specific, personal direction... Had [he] not responded to the first impressions and recorded them, [he] would have not received the last, most precious guidance." ARE YOU FREAKING OUT!?! This is such a beauitful truth and I LOVED it when I first heard and then studied the talk. But now to find this exact application to what happened with Enos?!?!?!

God will not force sacred/choice revelation on us. Even when we seek, He does answer prayers in His way and in His timing. And often, He may have more for us to obtain, but again will not take away our use of agency by forcing the revelation on us. He simply waits and the blessed council that appears over and over in the scriptures, He waits for us to ask, is there more. Enos found more! Choice more promises. Elder Scott found more! And had he not continue to ask, I believe the Lord would not have forced him to have the ending revelation of it being "most precious, specific, personal direction one could hope to obtain in this life."

I have in the past, after studying Elder Scott's talk on several occasions asked if there was "more" even after the Lord had given me choice info and basically was allowing me the choice to "go to". And on the occasions I sought to see if there was more, I was given more!

Sadly, I am pretty much rusted over in this truth I once applied to my own life. But Enos's example and the flood reminder of Elder Scott's words have filled me with the desire to seek for the "more" even after the approved "go to" has been given.

Like the start of a sunset... if you risk staying "asking if there is more"... and if there is "more"... how often sweeter (wating around to see if the sky gets more brilliant) that more is!


Wow-- I am freaking out! :) Just another friendly reminder for me to "ask". 

I am grateful for a dad who was inspired to write a book on "Intentional Parenting"

pouring his whole soul into a project he felt inspired to do. Grateful for his

devoted Editing wife, gracious sister-in-law and LOTS of others who

gave input and feed back on the book. And I am even more

grateful for the offer that just came through on Monday 

 of "We want to publish your book"! WAY TO GO

DAD, following and having faith in what you 

felt impressed to do!!!

 

Congrats to my awesome gourmet cooking, host/serving, fun loving, not giving up on impressions, trusting in God, faith-filled, going to be published dad!

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SATAN'S PLAN...

A few weeks back I had the opportunity to go to a fireside in American Fork. I felt impressed I needed to go... and when I walked in the building I chuckled at the mess up because apparently it was for "grey/silver" haired singles. I was late, and when I sat down, I felt like a baby and somewhat out of place. But the spirit was there and I felt impressed to stay.
   The title of the fireside was "Living as a Christian in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia". Brother and Sister Vera were the speakers and they shared their experience of living there for five years. I only caught the last 30 mins of the fireside, but I was deeply moved.
    Brother and Sister Vera shared their experience with the church. There are many people who want nothing to do with Christianity. Spies, police, neighbors that will turn in neighbors. They had to be very careful about everything they said and did in Saudi Arabia.
   With the church, they did not keep any written records. If they had to write down someone's name/list, it was all done in code and people's names/family names/rolls etc were done with initials only.
   Before he and his wife would go to church they would look outside and try to make sure they were not being followed. Sister Vera's daily conversations with her 2 and I believe 4 year olds was teaching them that although they loved Jesus even if their friends asked them what they did on Sunday, they could never say His name out loud or tell any of their friends about church and what they learned/did. This comment alone seemed crazy! But the more I heard of what they had to do living in a non-freedom of religion area... my thoughts were so full.
   Brother Vera also shared that many of his co-workers were good Muslims who sought to do right things. Accustom to their religion his Muslim friends were to pray five times a day. On a particular outing with a co-worker (I believe it was the noon) prayers came up. His friend told Bro Vera to just drive quickly to work where he could go and partake of the prayer. Normaly everyone is to stop and go to specified areas for prayer.
   As they rounded the corner in their car, the Prayer Police (yes you read that right) made them stop their car and motioned for them to show their identification cards. These are cards that let the police know if one is muslin/citizen or not. Brother Vera showed his card and was "okay" because he was a foreigner. But when his co-worker showed his card and that he was Muslim/thus not praying when he was suppose to-- the police took him right there on the spot and put him in jail for 24 hours. At this point in the story Brother Vera shared how if Satan would have had His way in the pre-exsistance--that would be exactly how his plan would have been. Go to jail if not found doing the exact thing you were commanded to do.
   The more Brother and Sister Vera shared, the more my heart swelled for the country that I live in. For the freedoms sought and fought for--based on religious freedom!!
    When Bro. Vera came back to the states, just after a short while he was in Home Depot and heard a man discussing on his cell phone about, "...we will meet up for Elders Quorum and do church...". Without thinking Brother Vera lunged for the guy's phone and was ready to knock it to the floor while asking the man if he was crazy saying such things out loud. Right before he actually grabbed the phone, he finally remembered that he was in America and it was okay to "speak" openly about religeous things.  Sister Vera's daughter came and quietly pulled her aside and whispered if it would be okay to talk about Jesus with her cousin. Sister Vera then shared that because they were in America now, she could talk openly about Jesus all the time!
   Brother and Sister Vera then testified of the freedoms we so readily take forgranted here... in a country that was fought for on the ground of/for religious freedom! I left the meeting with deep gratitude for this country. And also a little remorse at my own lack of gratitude/what I take for granted so often. Since the fireside I have listened to how many times I have had a religious any type of talk in the open... I was out to lunch with one of my old young woman at Subway and our conversation was quite divine. The spirit rushed about us as we both shared our thoughts about God and what he had done for each of us in the last three years. As we shared I couldn't help but look around the resterant and all the customers coming in and out who might happen to hear our conversation. I thought about how I would see no police shipping me off to jail... what freedoms I take for granted.
    I LOVE the picture of George Washington kneeling down. As a curtisy of mom and dad needing a wall for it to hang on--this picture resides in my bedroom. As I took this shot, I found it profound that in the reflection of the glass--the pool of bethesda with the Savior is shown in the exact place George Washington is kneeling down to! And reflecting on his back is the picture of the 2nd coming.
   Our founding fathers were men of great faith and devotion to the most High God. They fought for the cause that I so easily take for granted... freedom of religion and freedom to live my life the way I feel best. Amen to some of the best blood shed, such a high price given, so I can talk about Jesus Christ, church, the Holy Ghost-- openly. No one takes me to jail when I am not caught saying a prayer when I should have/should be. Oh the merciful plan of our great God! In providing a nation where we have freedom of religion and speech.

The title of liberty:

In memory of our God, 
our religion, 
and freedom, 
and our peace, 
our wives, 
and our children... (Alma 46:12)

 This is America to me! Oh so much to be thankful for. Bless thanksgiving and the reason why we celebrate!

I am grateful for Heavenly Father's Great plan of happiness which allows

 me the opportunity to choose to follow Him and His
perfect plan for me... a plan that included a
Savior, an atonement, repentance, grace,
forgiveness love and redemption.

God bless/ed America! 

HOW TO PRAY?

Have you ever asked any of these questions before:

• How do I pray?
• Who am I praying to?
• Why is it a commandment to pray?
• I feel silly... like my prayer is just bouncing off the wall... is anyone listening?
• When should I prayer? 
• What should I pray for? 
• Can praying really change my life, let alone just make a difference?
• How do I know when I get an answer?

   I have asked all these questions before. It started with a strong desire of wanting to know if Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ really live. IF they live, I was determined to give them my life. But if they didn't--well I guess no one had to know that I had been seeking in private. I was tempted to feel silly at times... always grateful that when I was "trying" prayers that no one else knew what I was doing. There were prayers out of habit, prayers that were not sincere and just going through the motion. Some prayers were filled with anger longing to just know for myself and some prayers were filled with wondering tears. My journey seemed to never have a middle for I felt often I was always right at the beginning--which felt like I was nowhere/wasting my time. Oh there is a beautiful Ether 12 which states at least seven times that it is AFTER the trial of one's faith, the miracles/witness come.
   I prayed in secret for almost a year to know if Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live. I hoped that they did. I believed they might. But I wanted to know for myself. And that journey started my own trial of faith and also putting prayer to the test.
   This article (CLICK HERE) is awesome! And the five simple principles stated, I have found true for myself. How do I know they work--because every single one of the principles I have tested with my own prayers.
   Persitance is the key.
   Kneel down, bow the head, and open with your thoughts to Heavenly Father. Kneeling and bowing is a form of respect. I have found for myself that casually laying in bed and repeating words before I drift in and out of sleep has WAY LESS impact than when I show respect and reverence of actually kneeling and bowing my head.
   And boy do I have a testimony of the power of praying out loud. Even when I go on business trips and share a hotel room with a co-worker, I sneak away into the bathroom, turn on the fan and kneel down and vocally whisper out my prayer. (AND if you have a little ADD like my brain tends to have when needing to focus at time, praying out loud helps me focus on the words I am saying. Again, the article is dead on with all true principles I have applied to my prayers.)
    I was taught once the value of being completely honest with God when praying. So when I first was "testing" the waters of prayer I told God that I felt silly and as if I was speaking to the room and because I did not know He was there, how would I know If and when He did answered me... thank goodness I did not stop trying just because at first I was uncomfortable with all I didn't know. **And this is not to say I know everything. I DON'T! So much more to learn, but the truths I have learned and applied--LIFE CHANGING in the world of my prayers.
    God already has blessings that He has ready to give us, but receiving those blessings are conditional upon us asking for them (see bible dictionary prayer).
   I found that I could pray anytime anywhere. And the things I should pray for, were and are ever evolving. I have learned, not fully in depth, but scratching the surface of the power of asking. Heavenly Father won't force me to learn His ways or seek blessings. So it takes my agency in asking to know and find things out on myself.
   Can praying really make a difference/change my life? I have journals and pages and pages of the difference it has made in my life.... just type in the search engine at the top of the page on the right the word "prayer" and just see how many posts come up. Careful, reading them all might take you a week!
   See I never prayed to see God or Jesus Christ. I simply asked that I could be blessed with something I could not deny. I wanted to know that I knew they lived. Not because others claimed it, I want to know for myself. And if God was my Father, then wouldn't He want me to know for myself...  
   I received my answer! It didn't happen the way I thought it would, I didn't see anything or have angels sore around me--but I felt words impressed upon my mind in such a way that my prayer was answered! I KNEW/KNOW Jesus Christ is the Savior and Heavenly Father lives/is my Father. And it is not some special club membership or holding one's breath a certain way. You can know for yourself completely and fully without question! I guess the real question is how bad do you want to know? Enough that you will devote time and energy until you get an answer?
   How grateful I am for a God that never gave up on my stubborn self.

Basics with prayer:

• Address God: Dear Heavenly Father, Dear God
• Thank Him for any/all things. Some days when it is really bad, I sometimes have to ponder over what I am thankful for, and there have been days where all I could come up was I was thankful my knees still worked so I could kneel. And on better days, the tears of gratitude flow freely.
• Ask Him for the things you stand in need of. Don't fall for the deception that "your" askings are not as important as "big" things. Or the trap of thinking that there is so much going on in others lives--that you don't want to bother/waste God's times with your items... If you have ever thought those things, pat yourself on the back! Join the club of "You have been deceived/tricked by the Devil" Club. Believe me, I sometimes know that club all a little too personal. But seriously, stop and think for a min. If you are a parent, and your child asks something of you, do you throw up your hands and storm off? I know, rediuolous, but so is the thought that one doesn't want to "bother" / trouble the Lord when there are so many more imporant things. 

 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

  Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

  Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

  If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?  (Matt 7)

• (Sorry no bullet should be here but I can't seem to make the coding go away.) Seriously, and again, the logic is like getting your arm cut off and saying, "I am not going to bother the doctor because there are more important matters like that guys missing tounge." (Silly, yes, but honestly it is silly to be tempted into thinking we don't want to trouble/bother the Lord. So if any of those thoughts arise, I am telling you they are not inspired thoughts--squish them like the nasty mosquitos they are! For such thoughts are to stop you from seeking God/coming unto Him therefor the Club captain, Satan Himself, pins another Gold star to His forehead of getting you to stop your attempt at drawing close to the Lord.) We can ask and should pray over all and any things! God wants us to!
• We can pray for others. I personally know I have been sustained by the specific prayers of others. How humbling to know that my name made it into their sacred communion time with Heavenly Father. Humbling, beauitful, I will take it, blessing!
• When ending your prayer simply close it "in the name of Jesus Christ, amen". It is all because of Christ that we can pray to the Father.

   How does one know they they are receiving revelation/an answer to prayer? Here are a few of my favorite articles.

• Awesomeness 1
• Awesomeness 2
• Awesomeness 3
• Awesomeness 4

   Holy cow those are all good and have taught me much about prayer and personal revelation. But when it is all said and done, even if you have no more then a desire TO BELIEVE... let that desire work within you (see Alma). I was skeptical of receiving revelation at times and far too often went through the motion of praying and not putting anything personal into it... BUT I KNOW FOR MYSELF that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. HE HEARS US. HE LOVES US. HE WILL LEAD US. IF WE ARE PERSISTENT WITH HUMILITY HE WILL TEACH US HOW TO PRAY, HOW TO RECEIVE ANSWERS TO PRAYER, HOW TO HAVE OUR WORDS PENETRATE THE HEAVENS AND NOT JUST BOUNCE OFF OUR BEDS.
   No, I am not screaming, just very intensely testifying that if this post is for you and you doubt how to pray or if God really hears you, or if your prayers really do make a difference in your life/the lives of those you love--I am hear to tell you they do.! He does! They will/are!
 

Enter the world of prayer at your own risk! :) 

   For surely you are in store for quite a ride. There is no limit to the prayers that can be offered, words can be inspired to where we pray for the very things the Father would have us pray for. Prayer can change your life and the lives of those whom you love and have stewardship over. Do you have faith enough to test it? Are you willing to consistently put in the work of striving to say sincere prayers? Do you want it bad enough?
   Even if you only have the desire TO believe... let that desire work within you.

   GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. You are not alone. You can pray for help and strength to be able to pray! So ironic how the whole system works... but work it does! 

Life changing--yes!
Easy to become complacent--yes!

But easier to start back the habit of sincere, heart felt prayer. What is the condition of your heart? Where is your treasure/brain as you prayer? GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS! Are you willing to work for such a knowledge--because yes work in the form of your faith, constancy, and HOPE that God WILL answer your prayers=required. My personal study of the scriptures, particularly The Book of Mormon, opened my mind to new, exciting possibilities. God is not a respecter of persons. So what He will do for one, if it is not against His will, He will do for others/ME!

Even if you have no more than just a desire to believe what has been written, let that desire work within you. TEST GOD! PROVE HIM! TRY! **and advice--be ever ready with a note pad and pen that works. When God answers your prayer, (His timing, His way) writing it down will not only help you remember what was given, but at least in my life, it is like God notices that and says, "Bryndi, that was important enough to write down... well here let me poor out some more important thoughts!" Power in writing. Again the awesomeness articles are sooo true! TRIED TESTED IN MY OWN LIFE!
   I am a witness that no matter who you are, what you have done or should have done--does not put an X on your life being filled with revelation and personal blessings from Heavenly Father because there is repentance and forgiveness, cleansing through the blood of the Lamb. His Son is the Master healer. He can and will heal all that is broken... if we will simply come unto Him, ask and plead, trust and serve. Prayers are powerful... I promise you can know it for yourself! And when you realize it for the first time, I would love to know!

Happy Praying!!

I am grateful for Christmas music on Pandora in the Octobers of my life!

PRAYERS, MISTAKES, AND MIRACLES

Thanks Hill for the soft "kick" that it has almost been a month without posting...! :) I love you.

Many miracles, and moments of deep gratitude. God has been so kind even when not deserving. Doesn't the scriptures say that even "...if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." So we are never really deserving, but yet because we are His, and He loves us... He deemed us deserving of the sacrifice of His only begotten, perfect son... So undeserving, and yet He desires us to partake of all that He has...

HM REUNION--ZERMATT
Our big annual Reunion for work came and went. Too many miracles to count, but I will share just two very personal ones. With only one Saturday before the event, I literally had a window of 40 mins to go shopping for the banquet night. I had not put off shopping for a gown, just really didn't have any time to spare/put towards shoppping. (And yes it doesn't help that I really dislike shopping or anything like it.) I had put in my heart and mind faith that God would help me get something with no time and no extra money set aside in my budget.
   As I finished up work that Saturday, I said a quick prayer sharing my delemha of time and funds with the Lord. I felt impressed to head over to Dillards. Now I had been there a few weeks prior but was in a hurry, and did not see anything.
I pulled into Dillards a little frantic knowing I only had time for one store. In I went and after 15 mins found a wrap around top for 40 bucks that I was not thrilled about but at least I could throw on a skirt and call it good. Just as I was walking back to the dressing room, my eye caught a zebra print. ME- Zebra print...yes, that is kind of a joke. And it was another joke that I was shopping back in the section where I used to shop when I was 100 pounds heavier. But here was this (I call it a tent) type blouse. HUGE in size, but to my mind was brought a vision of how I could make it work. I grabbed the shirt and went into the dressing room. Sure enough, this $22 wonder would work just fine! 5 mins found me with a fancy pin to tack under my bust line to hold the whole "tent" together... and wallah! In 20 mins I had my banquet get up, modest and somewhat cheap. God is sure good!
   The following Wed had us setting up our event. Look how cool my designer is! Not to mention how great Zermatt was for letting us deck out their bear. Here is the before and after shot of Marin Barny's genus. You can't tell but this bear even has sparkly eyelashes! What a sight to be hold! Heritage Makers book loving consultant blinded out bear TRUMPS plain old accordion playing boring statute bear! ;)
   Wed setup came together pretty smoothly. My team and I were all exhausted by the end of the night but thankfully we always can count on event adrenalin to kick in!
  Thursday morning and afternoon had me running around coordinating the different meetings and events. I came out to our registration desk at 4:40pm only to find that I had made a HUGE mistake. I didn't order enough of the registration shirts. (Everyone who comes to the three day event, receives a registration gift of a pen, booklet, charm, bag and a tshirt.)
   How many events do I do a year!? And how many years have I been about this? A mistake like that could be easy for a rookie planner, and although I am no Patti yet, I surely am not a newbie either. And Yes it is "just" a tshirt, but a tshirt that teams plan an evening around wearing so they can do team pictures... and it is never fun being "left out" so the pressure was on. How do I fix this awesome challenge. The truth was... I couldn't.
   I ran and called my vendor and without trying to freak out asked him if he could some how get me 40 more shirts. Now the logistics of this little nightmare were quite amazing. Steve, my awesome shirt vendor, said that he would call and see if any warehouses had stock. The plan was he would call and I would start counting up exactly how many of each size I was in need of. I frantically counted with my ever willing and beyond patient/forgiving team. I called Steve back at almost 7 mins to 5 to give him my numbers. He said that the warehouses he was calling didn't seem to have any stock in med shirts--which med shirts was the most quantity of shirt I was in need of.
    I ended the phone call with Steve knowing that I had just requested the impossible. Here it was practically 5pm. I was asking that one of his vendors overnight the shirts to him to get there by the next morning, so his team could re-screen and print and have them to me no later than Saturday morning. *Reminder this was Thursday night. The impossible. Heavy hearted and sick over my mistake I went into one of the restrooms and locked myself in the handicap stall. I knelt down. I told the Lord that it was all my fault. Truly, it was a complete error on my part. I just simply had not ordered enough shirts. I asked the Lord that if there was a way to get the shirts to Steve--that he might be inspired what warehouses to call and those who had not closed their shipping for the day. ...  I still don't know how I made such a mistake, but I did. I prepared my heart for the worst and got up off the restroom floor and headed out to my next meeting which was to do a team picture in our awesome photobooth before heading to our opening session.
   I was getting ready to jump into a photobooth at about 5:20pm. I had not heard back from Steve so I figured the shirts were a no go.
  As I got into the photobooth to take these pictures with my team, my phone rang.

"Bryndi, it's Steve. I found a warehouse. They are overtightened the shirts tonight. I will receive them in the morning. We will print them and have them ready for pick up by tomorrow afternoon. I have to go, talk to you tomorrow." I wanted to start crying right there. I thanked Steve and told him he was an answer to prayer. And Steve (who knows how this impossible thing just happened) became quite and said basically that this could only have happened because of God. Steve acknowledged the impossible becoming possible. My sweet parents stopped by Steve's warehouse and in less than 24 hours--I had enough tshirts to fill the registration needs!
   Why did God have to save my hide? Really He didn't have to. There is truly no blame for the situation but my own mistake. No one else... and yet God pulled out all the stops! The tears flowed freely that night as I knelt in gratitude for God's kindness and mercy.
   Once the whole event was over, I spent a day fasting in gratitude, crying and taking time in the temple. Truly, the Lord got me through the event. He always does. And I know He always will, but there is always this deep satisfaction/gratitude for when such events are finished. God is such a God of mercy.

GOD, PLEASE FIX MY MISTAKE OR MAKE IT OKAY
I had a dear friend teach me a valuable lesson. She had a project coming up that required travel time for her co-workers. Without praying about it she asked one of the folks on her team to go. But after offering the spot she prayed about what she should have done and she felt that she had made a mistake. That the one she was asking to go was not the one to go. My beautiful friend's next action was what was so stunning to me. She went back to God and said she had made a mistake and that now He was going to have to either fix it and get the right person to go on the task, or make the one she had offered to go, be able to go/work out.
   The next day, the person she had offered to have help with the task came back to her and said she felt impressed she was not to accept. THUS, my friend could go back and follow through with what she felt impressed to do with her prayer.
   No stewing, or beating her self up over her mistake. She simply acknowledged she had made a mistake (not on purpose but a lesson learned that she should have prayed first before just extending) and exercised her agency to have faith that God would either correct the mistake or make the person selected to work out. What incredible faith! What a beautiful testimony and reminder. Thou shalt not make a mistake was never a thou shalt... So even when we make those mistakes, God, who loves perfectly, does not with hold his love from us. The deliverer is in the house! **This doesn't mean that we will be delivered right away. My friend's faith was that God would either get the right person to do the task, or He would work with the one originally assigned.Great lesson! And what a difference in when I made the shirt mistake and tried to not let my guilt consume me. My friend's simple, but defiant faith was that she had made a mistake, learned her lesson, trusted that God would work with her mistake or make it work out the way He wanted it to.... and He did!

INSTITUTE--FREEDOM!
So at the beginning of the semester I felt impressed I needed to attend a certain class at institute. The topic was applicable and I anticipated all I would learn...however my love for Wed night institute turned into drudgery. Although I loved my teacher, I was not loving their teaching style. :/
   When it involves others, I am a commitment girl. I am not just going to drop a class because I was not "feeling it". Plus, I wasn't putting it all on the teacher. Hadn't I preached enough about how if one is not getting something out of the meeting, then one is not going prepared. ... But week after week I started dreading going to institute.
   After a month into the new semester, my girlfriend's work schedule opened up and she asked if she could start going to institute with me. I figure she would attend the class I was attending and I almost wanted to suggest to her that she should go to a different class, but I didn't for some reason. ??
   Finally my soul seemed to not take it any more. I prayed about skipping the class and joining another. I worried about my girlfriend and having her follow what I felt was like being a horrible example. I also felt bad for the teacher whom I do love and I know they love me--but I just felt like I was wasting my time. Trying to swallow down the guilt, I told my teacher that I needed to go to the other class room. My friend, thankfully stayed in the class. Her not "flowing" me to my new class helped me feel that at least I didn't set an example she would follow.
   Within 10 mins of the new class, I was LOVING institute life again. The room was filled with the sweetest spirit. My teacher is a convert from England and has a passion for the gospel. It was night and day difference to my soul. I felt the whole evening I was on cloud nine! I then worried that when I told my friend how amazing my new class was, she would jump ships too, and I didn't want to do this to the other teacher.
   Well after me spouting all the amazing things of the new class on our drive home, my friend informed me that she would not be changing classes. She said that she felt she was to be in the class and that she was already being able to start applying all the things she was learning about marriage/preparing for it on she and her boyfriend's relationship. ... ! CLICK! I started to jab at her arm teasingly, that God put me in that class, knowing she would start coming months in. He knew she would come to my class. And once she was hooked to the class (that it is likely she would not have chosen to take)--she stayed and I was FREED and allowed to move on. Oh I tell you want... JOYFUL evening! I could not stop freaking out at how good the new class was for me. And among a few other things I learned, if the drudgery of institute was just so my friend could end up in the right class... I say Hallelujah! God knows us perfectly. Thank goodness toO!
 
There are so many more little things I could type but this will have to be all for now.
I report that I did my three part challenge. I read the conference ensign cover to cover right after the April 2012 General Conference. Then I started studying all the conference talks (one a day) going backwards with the prophets. I got back through 2000. What an amazing treat that was to read all of Monson's talks and then a bunch of President Hinckley's talks. Not only was the journey of studying just the prophet's talks insightful, it was deeply moving to see God's hand and hear God's words through His chosen vessels. I feel more clearer than ever that there is so much good stuff to be had! To be taken in! How can I waste any of my time when there are so many pearls and fair stones God would have me line my path and the path of others!?!
   I then did the part 3 challenge of re-reading all of the April talks right before the Oct General Conference. Seriously, the insight/revelation/pricking and stirrings of my heart have been intense over the last six months. Great challenge! I highly recommend trying it!
   General Conference was amazing! I highly recommend checking it out if you didn't have the chance too! Click Here to view God's words through his chosen tools!

I am grateful for repentance and fasting.

MONSTER TRUCK, BOOGERs, RAINBOWS, and the ATONEMENT

I work with amazing women and men. One of them happens to be Cynthia (right rider). Cynthia has a LOVE for horses which she shares with her great daughter Holly (left rider).
 
Jinger heard about Cynthia's passion and love of horses and had an idea of providing a field trip for Ireland. She asked Cynthia if they could have an adventure with the horses.... so Wed wonderful Cynthia and Holly, hitched up their trailer, with their gorgeous horses, Cloud and Boogers, and drove their "Monster Truck" (as Cynthia's, six year old James likes to call it) to the Springville Rodeo grounds. I caught wind of this little outing at work, and did not want to pass up the opportunity of seeing Cynthia and Holly ride.

They were just walking to the arena when I pulled up. And there for a few mins I watched this mother daughter team ride around and love their horses/the moments. I had institute and could only stay but a min, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude at the service and kindness shown by these two women. After a full day of work, and an evening of hot sun, they brushed down and saddled up their beauties to provide a memorable service. I drove away from the rodeo grounds with deep gratitude. People who give so freely for the service and benefit of others--are great heros/examples of Christ. These two women are no exception to the rule. They were so willing to give my Brother's family a moment as a family. I love people!

Seems in the last week or so, I have counted at least 11+ rainbows!  There are some years when I feel lucky if I see even three all year, so in a week, 11+ seems to be a new record!

The left picture happened just the other day. I was on "auto" pilot driving home from work. Much on my mind. I was already processing the next things I needed to do that night. I was just taking my exit when I happened to look to the left of me and saw that beauty! It was bright and so beautiful! I quickly took a picture, yes while I was driving, but take comfort--I obviously wasn't trying to frame the picture--I was just trying to capture the moment. As I took my exit, I contemplated how I almost had just bypassed seeing such a beautiful reminder from Heavenly Father. How symbolic of my day to day run around... not stopping to "smell the roses" or to see the Rainbows God places on my hurried path.

Life is constantly in motion. Constantly changing. Deadlines, reports, people to love, service to render, scriptures to read and then strive to apply, very often the only moments of "pause" are the ones created by being in the temple, on our knees, and the allotment of time we allow ourselves for personal study/pondering/meditation. At least for me, without the moments, to do as the scriptures suggest, "Be still and know that [He] is God" -- life is like me driving in my car, zooming off to do the next thing on my list, and utterly oblivious to the rainbow He placed for me to enjoy even in the hurried rush of the moment. If I had not turned my head to "enjoy" the journey, I would have still arrived at my destination, but without the significance/gift/notice of the beauty that was apart of my journey. It took no added time, did not delay my pace (other than I wanted to slow a bit, to enjoy it longer), it simply added to--not take away. How many times is God trying to give me an add on and I am simply in too much of a hurry to notice/recognize His hand?

I have moved over to the family ward. Felt strongly to do so. It was not the easiest impression to want to follow. The 2nd Sunday I had to keep reminding myself, "Bryndi, you received revelation to be here, you received revelation...". I didn't have to remind myself because of the family ward not being great, because it is so great, but on one's mission, you NEVER really want to be transferred out of an amazing area, and I had an amazing single's ward.

This Thursday was a Relief Society night on the Atonement of Jesus Christ which was going to be taught by the Bishop. When I heard about the event, I could not contain my excitement. I started praying for the Bishop and those who would be involved and those of us who would go and listen.

The evening was just one short hour... but the truths shared were eternal and deeply moving. The Bishop shared his tender thoughts on ministering angels (heavenly ones) and the power of the atonement. He helped share some ideas that brought the atonement even more close to home.

He said he was in WY and was trying to get the foundation poured for his house. One thing happened and the next and he was in an awful hurry. He said that the next day his neighbor would be irrigating and his ground would be flooded causing him to have to wait a month for everything to dry out enough to pour his foundation.

Storm clouds were coming in and the Bishop thought he would take this opportunity to pray with his son. They went out behind their truck and said a prayer. He said he started pleading with the Lord that he needed the rains to not come, how his foundation had to be poured and he was running out of time. The Bishop then said that in the middle of his prayer he recognized all his prayer was focused on him. He then had the impression on his mind, of all the ranchers on their individual knees, who have been pleading for rain. Rain to water their crops, so they could feed their live stock--their lively hood. The Bishop said that through the power of the atonement, his mind was opened to the selfishness of his prayer and the pleadings of others--and after a pause, his prayer changed. And he acknowledged to the Lord about the ranchers needs. He prayed for forgiveness for him only thinking of himself and he ended his prayer with "They will be done." God knew the ranchers prayers and needs and He also knew his own....some that desperately needed rain and his own that desperately needed no rain. The bishop said a sweet peace filled his mind and soul. He finished praying and felt assured all was well. He and his son went back to work. A buddy came back and helped him the rest of the night.

The next day--the bishop realized in gratitude, that he had gotten what he needed to get done with his foundation, with no rain--yet the whole valley had been flooded in rain. In sharing this with the Stake President, he was teased lovingly that He, the bishop, could control the weather... no, the president and the bishop both know who's power and hand stayed the rain on his property/grounds, but the Bishop said it was the power of the atonement--to change his self serving mind set to greater views and deeper depths.

The Bishop shared another time, that his good friend had made some awful mistakes, and chose to leave his beautiful family for another woman. The Bishop said that he loved his friend, who had made poor choices, and he loved the wife, whom his friend had shattered. He said how do you love both fairly, the one hurting, and the one who caused the hurt? How do you stay in the middle? ... and how do you love the friend's new wife, who was part instigater of a beautiful family being torn apart?

The Bishop and his wife, went to go visit his friend, who was married to the new woman now. How do you love, how do you accept? When the Bishop and his wife left, his wife shared that she didn't want to tell him, but she had the strongest impression to go and give the woman (the new wife of the friend) a hug... and so she did.... :)

How does one have power to do this? How does one love uncondionly when conditions weigh heavily on the mortal mind? How does one forgive and allow forgiveness to be felt/seen?

The answer is--the atonement of Jesus Christ.

For any ugliness, judgment, selfishness, bitterness--whatever cankers the soul, the atonement of Jesus Christ is for all of it, and all of it is why there was and is a need for the atonement, the need for Christ.

My notes from the Bishop's inspired talk:

• Struggles brings one to their knees
• The greatest gift of the Savior is His living, not His death
• God allows us to struggle- WHY? Because He knows the atonement, and knows the atonement cannot fail... and because He knows it will not/cannot fail, He is willing to let things play out. (Profound insight for when I am a parent or even when I am working with someone I love. If I truly have faith in the atonement, I will allow things to play out/work out in allowing someone to struggle when it is needed.)
• Ether 12:4 "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."--We can be at the right hand of God NOW. We can have a sure hope, now, a hope for a better world now, we need not wait for eternity to have a better world. (I loved this insight!)
• There are two options (basically) in life. Pain or Peace. Christ asks us to hand over our pain, so He can give us peace, but sometimes we don't want to give the pain away because we fear there will be no peace. BUT we need to give the pain--so we can have the peace. (!)
• Matt 5:44 "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" The atonement is the agent that helps us LOVE our enemies, Bless instead of curse, do good to those that hate us, and pray for despitefully using and persecuting souls. 
• THE ATONEMENT is the key to pure love.
• The Atonement is key to overcoming feelings.

My Relief Society President also shared some words too. The evening was amazing. Deep truths that stirred new ideas and stronger faith within me. I felt sad for any who where not able to attend. As I left the building, I noticed it had rained... and of course, I looked up--and a FULL rainbow stretched before me. I chuckled to myself and wanted to wink upwards and thought, "You are so good God. Thanks for the the confirmation of your 'smile' on the evening. I agree too!"

Choice evening.

Goals: the question was posed in class this week for each student to share one of their goals. You would think this is a simple thing, but I did not want nor know what I should share. I started to panic if I even had goals. I thought about sharing how I want someday to have an article in the Ensign--but I feared people's thoughts thinking I was some accomplished writer. I thought about sharing about how I would love to be a speaker of truths to large audiences, but what if they thought that was pompous of me to say. I didn't want to be personal or have any comments when I say I am working at trying to lose 50 more pounds, want someday to publish a book for sale, create moving photography/inspirational pieces, ride a bike well enough that I can have a fun ride with Kaiden, jog for long periods of time, achieve true charity, become a disciple in moderation, have healthy desires, have deep thoughts with and while in the temple, become financially stable to provide the means for younger missions, live for Him instead of for me... I don't talk about this openly, ever.

So what did I say, "I have the goal of being a killer wife and an amazing mom." There was a good chuckle that went around the room. After all this was that preparing for eternal marriage class. The teacher moved on, for which I was thankful, but then I started wondering if even sharing that real goal, was too showy and flashy. I don't want attention. I am painfully (at times) private and don't share what is deeply in my heart and soul often because I feel like I am slightly not normal or is it that I am worried I am not viewed as normal. Or is it that everyone feels the way I do, and we just all don't share it? !! Is everyone else afraid of what others might think? I sure wish I wasn't--add that to another goal!

Even the other day I was asked by a seeking prospect of a date, what it is that I like to do. Can one really say, "I love to read and study and to clean my house" ?!! For if you say that, then the fear comes of, "Read what? Study what?"... Can one really just answer, "Just stuff"? Because I don't necessarily want to say that I love reading anything pertaining to the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love studying concepts and ideas in depth. I LOVE to clean my house and to be alone. So an introvert at times--but I also love to be on the Lord's errand and see His hand in the lives of those around me.

Sigh--GOAL: Let the light shine that He has given me to hold up. I love God so much. My fear of men, tends to be my chosen reason as to why I am not more open. Why I am I so scared of the label of being "churchy"? Or letting others know, when they ask, the truths about how much I do love the gospel? I am sure some reading this who really know me think, "Bryn, you talk about gospel all the time." IF I feel you love God too, I won't hold back the excitement I sometimes/usually try to mellow with the walking Joe, whom I don't know. But if I know you take excitement in areas I do too... wonderful! It comes always back to this. The Bishop's council in giving over the pain so you can have His peace, applies to giving over the fear, so you can shine the light. Not your own light, for we are all just a reflector/mirror of the "Sun". ...

That was incredibly personal... alright, moving on!

I had the strongest impression to pray for someone in the political arena. I believe the impression came Monday. It was random and out of the blue, and I know better then to not follow, so when I knelt, I prayed for this individual and left it at that. Wed I had family prayer with my folks and mentioned my random impression. My dad said he had had the impression to do the same thing. As the week unfolded and I became aware of the week it was... I smiled at the impression that was allotted. God is good. Kind!

Forgive this more personal, somewhat random post--looks like it was way more of a journal entry meant for me to realize some things God would have me know. If you made it through reading the whole thing, award yourself a GOLD STAR and plant it promptly on your forehead just for me! ;)

Sometimes I try to be someone other than or rather hide the one that I truly am. But be it known, I am God's! And I want, and like, being for Him.

I am grateful for line upon line.

I MADE A PLACE AND GAVE IT TO HIM

So... the insurance company deemed my car as totaled. WONDERFUL was not the word of choice I would describe how I felt/feel about this. More like UGGg! But the process has not been void of Heaven, for which I am very thankful.

I went to the DMV a few weeks back to get a copy of my car title. Apparently when I paid off my car in 2006, I never got the title from the bank. So the DMV showed that the bank still had a "lean" on my car. Again, "wonderful" is not the word that came to my mind. :)

I called the bank and asked them to fax the DMV a release on the title. As I walked over to a bench to wait for the fax to come through, I could not hold back the tears of frustration. It had been a long week, and this little "title" detail was not the last straw on the camels back, but rather a puzzle piece that seemed to link all the other bad ones more closely together. Working with the auto body shop was far beyond NOT desirable, the insurance guy was nice but way to smooth with his words. The amount I was receiving for my salvaged car, wasn't even half of what was paid for the car 6 years ago. ...

As I bowed my head to stop anyone from seeing my tears, ever so gently, a scripture was placed in my mind, "...all things shall work together for your good." What a sweet reminder. And with that, I bucked up my shoulders, took a deep breath and seriously had the mind set of, "Okay, bring it on." (I WAS NOT looking for more opposition in my current battle, but in a way, the reminder of Christ's words allowed me to square up my shoulders.) About 3 mins after the reminder scripture, a friend from work, called me on her drive home, and that too, lifted my spirits and seemed to help infuse me with a little more faith in the current situation.

The accident was three weeks ago. Bless the kindness of my folks with juggling around their cars to help me out, with my brother and friends who have given me rides. Truly all angels!

Since the wreck, I have been working with a sweet couple who buy cars straight from the auction. They have a small finders fee but basically in their retired situation, help people find cars. The first week of looking for cars--the more and more apparent it became of what this little journey was bringing... I am going to need a loan, and more payments for two years isn't the most exciting thing to my soul. Color, make, model, cruise control, no cruise control, high and low miles, gas millage, compact, midsize, coupe, civic, hatchback... And yes I know this is nothing like the decision over an eternal companion or anything, but if I am to fork out that much money, I sure do want it on a car that is going to last and will not only be good for a future family I hope is in the not too distant future--but I don't want a lemon/lots of drama if I don't have to have it. (This all coming from a girl, that three weeks ago couldn't tell you the difference from a Honda or a Hyundai, a Toyota or a Ford. Amazing what being car-less will do to you. I NOW can spot a Toyota and Honda out of a mix of cars. Now that is an improvement for sure! ha ha:))

After viewing lots of different cars via email... there was about a 6 day window where my contact didn't email me anything. The more I researched the cars, the more stressed and worrisome I became. Over and over the impression came that it would all work out. But as new concerns were made apparent to my newly educated brain, new worries and fears crept in as well. Knowledge can be power, but I was feeling the more I learned about what I didn't know or at least hadn't considered before, the more heavy my burden started to become.

My worrying was consuming. *Note to self: Worry, doubt and fear do not provide a comfortable/happy/stable environment and living space.

This past Tuesday I went to the temple seeking refuge from my little bothersome storm. I did not receive answers, but at least I could keep the anxiety of the unknown car monster at bay while I was within the temple walls.

On my way to work, or shortly there after, my mind took hold on all the things that were weighing on my heart. Items that at different times when they had shown their ugly new heads, one by one I had take them to the Lord. My mind was in conflict. I knew that God had told me it would all work out/not to worry. I have even had the impression with what type of car to go with, but the more I learned car lingo, the more worrisome I became.

I am not sure how I came to the conclusion, but I retired to my private spot at work where I can kneel down. Before starting the prayer, I wrestled a bit with the fact that God already knew all my concerns, all my drama--after all He is God. And although I had at times given a piece of the burden here and discussed some of the issues there--NOW feeling quite educated with car stuff, I decided I just need to dump ALL car burdens on His alter, all at once. I opened my prayer and told the Lord I felt quite silly, knowing He already knew my concerns, but that I just needed to place them before Him for the benefit and hopes that my conscious self would know I got all items "off my chest".

I did just that. One by one, I listed each concern. Each worry of "stipulation" on my wants/desires/fears and concerns. I truly just "unloaded" EVERYTHING at the Lord's feet.

After I had completely discussed every ounce of every concern, I told the Lord I was ready to give the burden over to Him and to trust in His timing, will and inspiration. Once again, the sweet assurance came (like it had already come a handful of times throughout the course of this event). The answer was, to not worry, things would work out and it would be good.

THE DIFFERENCE WITH THIS OCCASION was that I had fully unloaded all my burdens=concerns and worries first. And with my spiritual sack, emptied on His alter, my life sack now had room to be filled with His promises and reassurance. It was truly something beauitful and in a way, life changing/eye opening.

God has answers for our deep prayers and peace for our troubled hearts. But like anything valuable, there must be a place for those answers and peace to dwell/be kept. If my sack retains all the worries and all the doubts/fears--even in God's kindness to send me such answers over and over like He did, if I have not made room/given the answers any place to reside--He can send the message, but like the water that dances on the shoreline, if there is not a tide pool with empty walls to hold that tide, the water will quietly head back to where it came from.

How grateful I am for prayer! And even in my doubting states of life, God allows me to "unload"-- that truly my burdens, might be light/lite!

This beauitful reminder/miracle was last Tuesday, and I am still at/dwelling in/with peace. When I am tempted to indulge back into the habit of "worry", I simply shake my spiritual head (and sometimes my physical head) and remind myself that I have done all I can do and the Lord has "got this".

So what will this week bring? The right car?! That would be WONDERFUL! BUT IF NOT, I know in whom I trust. :) I have made place for His peace to dwell. I finally made room for His tide/reassurance to remain and I have no intentions of replacing them with worry and fears. *Note to self: Why settle for anything less than His peace?! If I will make room, it is mine for the keeping.

Amazing what He allows us to learn. His patience and willingness to allow me to learn at the pace my soul/body needs, astounds me. He, is good!
______

Response from Marshyl on this post:  "Amazing how much nicer the Lord decorates our Spiritual walls when we get out of our own way and let him come in to do some interior design work huh?  :)  Some things are just better left to the Professional.  ;o) "

Amen Marsh!

"Some things are just better left to the Professional."
--Marshyl Cloward :)

PRAYERS NEEDED...!

This girl is in need of prayers.  You can check out her blog (click here).

Today is a big day for her for she is hoping to be well enough to make it to the doctor's appointment to have tests run to see what is wrong with her body. No cancer, no "anything" ???  they don't know what is wrong with her other then she doesn't have an immune system. Today is a big day in that she needs to be "well enough" to go to the doctors.  And prayers that the doctors might be inspired.  Please keep Whitney in your prayers.  This is a movie Whitney's little sister made for at Christmas... Whitney is a beauitful girl, inside and out. You will see her testimony shine through her blog. She is courageous in facing and fighting something doctors haven't been able to diagnose yet.  She is an inspiration to all!!

People are praying for you Whitney!! God loves you!! We love you!!

"We don't believe in prayer..."

So what a title to start this blog entry with!  I know right!?!  I felt the same way when I heard my Bishop make the comment in Ward Council yesterday.  He did pause after he said those words, but here is his whole inspired statement.  "We [as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints] don't believe in prayer, we believe in mighty prayer!" --Bishop Karl Lifferth  

What a statement! And what a true statement.  The impact of his words sunk deep into my heart.  Truly we are a people who not only have greater insight to prayer, and because of that insight--are believers/users of MIGHTY PRAYER!!  (Check the blog if you can't read the text below.)

Nevertheless the children of God were commanded that they should gather themselves together oft, and join in fasting and mighty prayer in behalf of the welfare of the souls of those who knew not God. --Alma 6:6

 

Who [Jesus Christ] will gather his people even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, even as many as will hearken to my voice and humble themselves before me, and call upon me in mighty prayer. --Jesus Christ

And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me. --Nephi

And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens. --Enos

 True statements... and if I am not exersizing the right and knowledge of "mighty" prayer--what things may I be missing out on and not just for myself but those who I love and have any kind of stewardship.  Thank you Bishop Lifferth!

Another awesome reminder I was given yesterday was a by a guy that just moved into my ward a month ago.  His name is Jason.  He stood up to bare his testimony and said, "If we are not applying the atonement of Jesus Christ in our life, then we are not progressing." What a dead on statement.  So true.

Yesterday was a beauitful day.  Filled with so many miracles.  A friend on my committee came out and we did some visits that I had felt to do.  I had only asked him at church (short notice) to come out with me but he was more than willing to go on the visits.  It was awesome to go into homes and see him chill and loving the individuals.  It was uplifting and edifying.

Yesterday as I closed my fast in gratitude for a lot of blessings, I felt impressed that I needed to stop by a friend's house before the CES fireside.  In "reasoning" with God I mentioned that this perticular guy had not been to church in months and other then hello's during the holiday I had not really talked to him, although I had tried many, many times.  I wondered if I should give the guy the heads up that I was coming to see him, but I litterally felt to just drive to his house and invite him to put on his shoes and come with me to the fireside.  The fireside started at 6 and about 6:05 I got to his house.  He had just gotten home from work.  I told him there was a fireside and I was there to pick him up and have him go.  He hesitated for a moment, but I told him to grab his shoes and we would go.  He went and changed out of his work clothes, fixed his hair (out of respect for not wanting to wear a baseball cap into the chapel), laced up his boats and we were out!  We only caught the last 20 mins or so of the fireside talk, but I sat amazed knowing he had actually gone with me.

I dropped him off at his place and after a few hours of conversation, he mentioned how crazy it was that I had come over.  He said that God must have read his mind.  I inquired to him what he meant.  And he told me that in overcomeing something in his life, he has kept himself to himself and not wanting to get out.  But that this day, he wanted to "get dressed up and go out".  Shortly after those thoughts I was at his door.  And it didn't matter if it was a fireside, he recognized that God was answering a prayer he didn't even know he said (or at least not officially).  I just smiled and told him it had nothing to do with me--but that God loved him and made a way for him to "get out".  In texting the EQ President last night, he mentioned that he had felt to go invite and pick up the guy to go to the fireside--but seeing he would be late decided not to.  I did not fill him in that God had back up plans!!  If Plan A didn't work, I have no idea what number of plan B, or C, I was---but this I know-- God LOVES his children.  He LOVES US! He hears our prayers, and surely our MIGHTY prayers.

My life has been a little messed up.  So focused on the business of my career, which has been needed at this season of the year, but I have become a little complacent and not "mighty" in praying and truthfully not mighty in a lot of things: faith, trust, hope... and there has been a separation of not evening allowing God to use my life in the service of others, because of my complacent. So yesterday was a sweet reminder how much I LOVE being for HIM!  Truly, I don't want my life to be my own.  If there are lives to lift, to bless, to encourage, to cheer, to brighten, to listen, to smile and hug, I pray that if God needs a runner for any such tasks, I can live in such a way that He might request/prompt me.  I truly want to LIVE for HIM.

And in sharing this last bit--I speak nothing of myself.  For in me there are so many awesomely beautiful flaws.  Awesomely beautiful because they are reminders that I need to keep striving to becoming like God and relying on/keep seeking Him. Without him, I am truly nothing (as to my own strength, I am weak.) But WITH HIM I can be all he wants me to be!  And I have access to His help and assistance as I journey here below.

My cup is full.

I don't believe in prayer, I BELIEVE IN MIGHTY PRAYER!!  Oh to ever be applying the atonement of Jesus Christ to my life, not only to be made whole, but to progress--to journey and venture to Him helping me fulfill the measure of my creation. He really can do it!  After all that I can do, HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!