THE PARABLE OF THE LITTLE GIRL WHO KNEW SHE COULD

   A few Monday's ago before seeing the one and only beautiful grandma Ratcliffe, I stopped at a park by a nearby park. As I sat in my car with my window slightly down, I noticed a girl (I would guess her to be about 11 or 12) working hard to ride her bike. Her training wheels were on. Her dad was walking by her side. When I noticed her it was just at the time I heard her cry out to her dad “I can’t daddy—I will fail!” To which he replied that she could. I heard “fail”, but perhaps she said “fall”. I watched her from my car and sure enough, the somewhat attentive father (I say this as he seemed to be a bit more pre-occupied with his drink then watching her) wasn’t paying attention and the little girl, even with training wheels, biffed it. I think the father started to pay a little more attention after that. :)
    This father daughter team went around the park several times. After 20 mins or so I gathered that she must have fallen a few more times, because I saw the dad riding the pink bike back to his truck while the little girl ran along the side. I thought about her fears with her bike and with the perspective as an adult, her petrifying fear of falling was nothing that would alter her life or be some big significant change/death, but to the little girl, her fear of failing was very real and at times overwhelming even to tears and stating that she would fail. I rejoiced in getting watch this little scene play out. I left the park and spent a choice night with grandma and was blessed with an FHE treat of seeing/being with Micarie and James.
    Well fast forward to the next night. After work, I had had a strong impression to go visit a friend. I met her a few months ago on a visit led by God. A friend and I knocked on her door not knowing what we would find. This sweet sister desired to go to church but without a supportive husband found that she did not have the courage. As we talked to her and testified of God’s love and support for her, she mentioned that her Pblessing said she would do a great work in Relief Society. She expressed desires to make it to that meeting. It was a choice meeting and my friend and I left her door praising God.
   Well this Tues night (a week ago) I felt impressed to go back to her house to check in on her as it has been a few weeks since she has answered any of my texts. After work as I was studying, I felt impressed to go right then. I did—and found no one home. I left a note on her door and I pondered what the Lord would have me do with the rest of my evening. I knew He had sent me at that time for a reason. ?? I felt impressed I needed to go to my stake center. *An impression to go to this specific building that I never go to except to attend stake events.
   I pulled up in the parking lot and smiled as I noticed a little girl trying to ride her bike with her dad… okay God, this is the second night in a row that you are having me watch a father and a daughter ride. I knew that God had a lesson to share with me for I know there are no coincidences!
    I parked my car and like the awesome creeper I am, (thankful for my tinted windows) I watched as this girl (older in years) was trying to ride her bike. This girl didn’t have training wheels. I noticed two little boys (who I came to find out were 3 and maybe the other one was 5 ??) were riding their bicycles all through the parking lot—no training wheels. I marveled at how small they were and how much older this girl seemed to be. The girl made several long rides across the parking lot. After a while she made a huge, wide turn in which I heard her very joyfully say, “ I did it! I did it!” And the father replied, “You did it! You made that turn. You did awesome!” I smiled from the vision of “I can’t…I will fail” verses the “I did it- you did it!”
   Thanking God for letting me witness two very similar situations yet completely different outcomes and determinations, I got out of my car. By this time a mother and another little baby had joined the father and three children. I worried that they might have seen me taking pictures and video from my car so I decided to head into the church building to find a place to study. I wanted to approach the little family and thank them for being in the parking lot that night, but I decided being suspected as a creeper and being confirmed as one… I rather just be suspected! :D I grabbed my bag and shut the door and to my surprise I found myself walking towards the family (opposite direction of going into the building).
    I called out to the presumed parents and told them they didn’t have to say “yes”, but that I wanted a picture of their girl as I had just witnessed a discouraged little girl the night before biking with her training wheels and I was so impressed by their little girl’s determination. The family graciously entertained my wish, but before the picture was taken, the mom turned to her daughter and asked her to share with me why it was so special that she could ride her bike that day. This mother, Andrea, then mentioned that she would cry if she talked about it. It wasn’t until that moment, that I noticed that the little girl, Kaja, was very special. With a big smile, and help from her parents she told me that she had cerebral palsy. (Cerebral palsy is a condition that brings along many disorders that can involve brain and nervous system functions, such as movement, a stiffness of muscles and normal reflexes. To what extent little Kaja has I was not sure.)
   Kaja’s mom said that for the longest time Kaja has wanted to ride her bike without training wheels. The doctors didn’t know what to tell her. Kaja’s mom and dad didn’t want her to get her hopes up as it seemed it might be physically impossible for her. But Kaja didn’t know it was impossible. She just knew she wanted to ride her bike like her younger brothers. The previous weeks her physical therapist had been working with her. The pedals and training wheels of her bike were taken off which allowed Kaja to sit on the bike seat and have her feet “walk” around/support her. After much practice, the day had come when the father and mother wanted to take her to an open area (church parking lot) to give her a place to try riding with pedals and no training wheels. And there, in the parking lot, a loving father ran by her side.
   At first Kaja had a very hard time turning, and when she would half crash (I say “half” crash, because her father was always close enough to help ease the blow) she would not be daunted. Kaja simply reposition herself on her bike and tried again. Over and over she did this… Crashing a bit, but determined and never quitting. Her tone of voice didn’t even flirt with the temptation of being discouraged. And always--as she worked at it, was her awesome father--getting his fair share of a workout as he ran behind her. (With children, is a gym pass even necessary?! ;) )
   His daughter, was doing the impossible.
   I already loved watching Kaja ride without training wheels… But hearing of the challenges that not just threaten to make life more challenging, but are actually apart of Kaja’s everyday life, made the symbolism of the moment all the more choice.
    I took their pictures and the sweet family with the sun going down climbed in their car and left. I went into the church, found a piano and started to write a song about this little soon to be nine year old, very determined, Kaja. As I played and sang, who should come to the glass door to listen… the Elders in the area!
   Talk about sweet life lessons to witness… On one hand, one girl, consumed with thoughts of failing with training wheels. On the other hand another girl, designated by life to not to be able to enjoy such thing as riding a bike… but sweet little Kaja seemed oblivious to her/life’s “designated” opposition. She just knew she wanted to ride. And every time she crashed, she got right back on and tried again. The first father, a bit neglectful and not providing an undivided attention (but perhaps through the crash of his daughter, caused him to be more mindful/diligent father [that is an insight right there into what our own trials can be God’s tool to help someone step up to their duty and responsibilities]) vs. a father that although didn’t prevent all of Kaja’s falls, He did help not only soften the blows but was right there to help her get back up on her bike and steady her as she started yet again—ever running, always in arms each (or a very speedy jog) to aid and assistance her.
   I am constantly being reminded of our journeys and those whom God puts in my path. The bikes (covenants, desires, commandments) I need/want/should ride. The hands that are ready to steady. The temptation to be discouraged as others seem to do with ease what I struggle and sometimes cry to do. What the world says I can or can’t do (or more often my natural man/fears) but with desires clothed in righteousness and firmly planted/determined—God will help me/YOU/us with the seemly impossible, and make it possible.
   Seeing little Kaja’s experience reminded me of an experience my grandpa once had in the grand canyon with a juniper tree. The PDF is attached. SO SYMBOLIC!

 From To Him That Believeth: Claiming Heaven’s Blessings 

                                                         -- Frederick and June Babbel

   I learned a valuable lesson a number of years ago when my wife and I visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona. We were at the north rim when the naturalist guide showed us a twisted, gnarled, old juniper tree which was literally growing out of the side of the rock canyon wall by the lookout point. We wondered how it could possibly continue to grow. Then our guide told us an interesting bit of history in connection with this tree.
   A juniper seed is shaped somewhat like a cantaloupe seed. One of these little seeds fell into a crevice near the edge of the canyon wall. Everything was solid rock. It appeared that the seed could not possibly germinate since there was no soil, little if any water, and virtually no sunshine down in this crevice. Yet this little seed was not covered about these limits. It had but one burning desire and that was to fulfill the measure of its creation!
   In a manner that we cannot fathom, that little seed germinated, implanted roots into that solid rock, and began to grow. Gradually it raised a shoot through the crevice where it could seek sunshine and a little rain.
   As it continued to grow and expand into a full-fledged, through misshapen, tree, its trunk and its roots began to exert a continuing pressure on the outer ledge of rock. Finally the pressure became so great that one entire large section of the canyon wall broke loose and crumbled into a massive heap near the base of the canyon, nearly one mile straight down.
   The guide said it was estimated that forty million tons of rock lay at the base of this tremendous canyon because that little seed didn't know it could not grow. It just wouldn't give up.
   No one is beaten until he stops trying. No one! We have often heard the admonition, "…without faith no man pleaseth God..." (D&C 63:11.) We need to discover how to gown in faith. We also need experience. A living faith is a priceless possession and the quest for it is worthy of our combined energies of mind, body, and spirit.
   Persistence is one of the essential components of faith. Don't give up! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but that our power to do is increased!" (Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards, comp. G. Homer Durham [Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1944], p.355.)

   If we continue to exercise trust in Him, He will be jogging with our every moment. I believe He softens the blows and crashes as much as possible without taking away the needed experience and exposure to trails and the exercising of our faith. With each needed stumble, a loving father will also be right there to help me/you back on, and start pedaling again!
   He can calm fears and cause us to ride on waters, even in the midst of a storm. He leads by faith. And we can/must/will walk by the faith He leads.

  The little girl who knew she could... and did!

And the parents who believe/support her every step of the way!

Kaja's zippy little brothers!

I believe in working for/towards fulfilling the measure of one's creation. 

I am grateful for Pres. Uchtdorf's insight to the atonement: 

"...while the Atonement is meant to help us all become more like Christ,

it is not meant to make us all the same." What an insight!! More on his talk here.

Happiness is: General Conference and my family. 

The two combined= 

IDEAL!

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SATAN'S PLAN...

A few weeks back I had the opportunity to go to a fireside in American Fork. I felt impressed I needed to go... and when I walked in the building I chuckled at the mess up because apparently it was for "grey/silver" haired singles. I was late, and when I sat down, I felt like a baby and somewhat out of place. But the spirit was there and I felt impressed to stay.
   The title of the fireside was "Living as a Christian in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia". Brother and Sister Vera were the speakers and they shared their experience of living there for five years. I only caught the last 30 mins of the fireside, but I was deeply moved.
    Brother and Sister Vera shared their experience with the church. There are many people who want nothing to do with Christianity. Spies, police, neighbors that will turn in neighbors. They had to be very careful about everything they said and did in Saudi Arabia.
   With the church, they did not keep any written records. If they had to write down someone's name/list, it was all done in code and people's names/family names/rolls etc were done with initials only.
   Before he and his wife would go to church they would look outside and try to make sure they were not being followed. Sister Vera's daily conversations with her 2 and I believe 4 year olds was teaching them that although they loved Jesus even if their friends asked them what they did on Sunday, they could never say His name out loud or tell any of their friends about church and what they learned/did. This comment alone seemed crazy! But the more I heard of what they had to do living in a non-freedom of religion area... my thoughts were so full.
   Brother Vera also shared that many of his co-workers were good Muslims who sought to do right things. Accustom to their religion his Muslim friends were to pray five times a day. On a particular outing with a co-worker (I believe it was the noon) prayers came up. His friend told Bro Vera to just drive quickly to work where he could go and partake of the prayer. Normaly everyone is to stop and go to specified areas for prayer.
   As they rounded the corner in their car, the Prayer Police (yes you read that right) made them stop their car and motioned for them to show their identification cards. These are cards that let the police know if one is muslin/citizen or not. Brother Vera showed his card and was "okay" because he was a foreigner. But when his co-worker showed his card and that he was Muslim/thus not praying when he was suppose to-- the police took him right there on the spot and put him in jail for 24 hours. At this point in the story Brother Vera shared how if Satan would have had His way in the pre-exsistance--that would be exactly how his plan would have been. Go to jail if not found doing the exact thing you were commanded to do.
   The more Brother and Sister Vera shared, the more my heart swelled for the country that I live in. For the freedoms sought and fought for--based on religious freedom!!
    When Bro. Vera came back to the states, just after a short while he was in Home Depot and heard a man discussing on his cell phone about, "...we will meet up for Elders Quorum and do church...". Without thinking Brother Vera lunged for the guy's phone and was ready to knock it to the floor while asking the man if he was crazy saying such things out loud. Right before he actually grabbed the phone, he finally remembered that he was in America and it was okay to "speak" openly about religeous things.  Sister Vera's daughter came and quietly pulled her aside and whispered if it would be okay to talk about Jesus with her cousin. Sister Vera then shared that because they were in America now, she could talk openly about Jesus all the time!
   Brother and Sister Vera then testified of the freedoms we so readily take forgranted here... in a country that was fought for on the ground of/for religious freedom! I left the meeting with deep gratitude for this country. And also a little remorse at my own lack of gratitude/what I take for granted so often. Since the fireside I have listened to how many times I have had a religious any type of talk in the open... I was out to lunch with one of my old young woman at Subway and our conversation was quite divine. The spirit rushed about us as we both shared our thoughts about God and what he had done for each of us in the last three years. As we shared I couldn't help but look around the resterant and all the customers coming in and out who might happen to hear our conversation. I thought about how I would see no police shipping me off to jail... what freedoms I take for granted.
    I LOVE the picture of George Washington kneeling down. As a curtisy of mom and dad needing a wall for it to hang on--this picture resides in my bedroom. As I took this shot, I found it profound that in the reflection of the glass--the pool of bethesda with the Savior is shown in the exact place George Washington is kneeling down to! And reflecting on his back is the picture of the 2nd coming.
   Our founding fathers were men of great faith and devotion to the most High God. They fought for the cause that I so easily take for granted... freedom of religion and freedom to live my life the way I feel best. Amen to some of the best blood shed, such a high price given, so I can talk about Jesus Christ, church, the Holy Ghost-- openly. No one takes me to jail when I am not caught saying a prayer when I should have/should be. Oh the merciful plan of our great God! In providing a nation where we have freedom of religion and speech.

The title of liberty:

In memory of our God, 
our religion, 
and freedom, 
and our peace, 
our wives, 
and our children... (Alma 46:12)

 This is America to me! Oh so much to be thankful for. Bless thanksgiving and the reason why we celebrate!

I am grateful for Heavenly Father's Great plan of happiness which allows

 me the opportunity to choose to follow Him and His
perfect plan for me... a plan that included a
Savior, an atonement, repentance, grace,
forgiveness love and redemption.

God bless/ed America! 

"Ed, my son, ..."

I have to say "YEA" for those choice moments of being in the right place at the right time.

I was privilege to attend a fireside a week ago with my folks. I admit, as I walked into the room, I felt a bit out of place---as there were very VERY few people with any color left in their heads of hair. This is not a bad thing! My own folks will tell you they have earned every grey hair they have. (I know, I am one of their six, and I can tell you I helped them earn them!) But with the chapel pretty full, I felt a bit out of place to be among the handful under 55/60+.

Amazing how our thoughts can change. No more than 10 mins into the meeting, I started contemplating all the wonderful truths I was hearing and how I wished all my friends could be with me in the meeting to hear what I was hearing and to feel what I was feeling. :) 

President Ed Pinegar and his lovely wife were the speakers at this fireside. He was just released as the Manti Temple President. And back in 1994, Sister Pinegar was the General Primary President.

There were so many choice insights from the evening, but I will just share few. Pres. Pinegar shared his thoughts on Charity. He made the comment that of the 13 traits listed in Morni 7:45-- seven of them had to deal with patience. He did not share which ones they were, but commented on the underline truth, that one who posses charity also has patience.

He then touched on the idea of having eyes to see and having ears to hear. He shared a sacred moment in the temple. He sat in the Celestial Room and the primary song of a "Child's Prayer" came to his mind. He thought for himself, "Heavenly Father, are you really there?" The answer came as he heard the words in his mind, "Ed, my son, I am always here." Pres. Pinegar then testified that he did not see, nor did he need to see... as he shared this sacred experience, the room was filled with the sweetest spirit.

I know that God, our Father lives. I know He answers prayers. Pres. Pinegar shared that all the knowledge of learning about Heavenly Father over his whole mortal life-- doesn't even equal a 10% of what he has learned and come to know of Him in the last four years. (!) I don't know how old he is, but he is older for sure. What a beauitful insight. His comments about our Heavenly Father were tender, and beautiful and I left the meeting with desires to strengthen my relationship and understanding of God, the Father.

Why did God allow me to enjoy such an evening? Good question. But I am not complaining!

I am grateful for Sunday moments to exercise agency of

where and what I spend my time and energy on.

I AM

I know it's not spring--but can you notice what all these pictures have in common? and beside the obvious tulips... what is it about these tulips? 

Notice the LIGHT!  (It almost looks as if there is a light bulb inside each tulip.)

You can't see through them but you can see light through them...!  

 I have an insecurity that creeps it's ugly little head from time to time. Seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. Obviously by it's occurrence, it is something I have not overcome yet. The insecurity or rather the temptation to not be who I know I should be and deep down inside want to me. 

...I share, on a very, very personal side, my journal from tonight with you. It may not make sense to anyone, and is deeply personal, but sometimes we are suppose to "let" our light that we would normally keep very private, "shine" [be shared]. I share my journal not to say "look at me" but rather what Christ, the Gospel, and Heavenly Father are TO me. 

1.27.12

I just finished reading out of 2 Nephi 15 with Ridges book. So good! It talks a lot about the last days and Isaiah saw the wicked and the righteous, it was just amazing. It was good and with my lack of time, I have had to go through the chapter for 2 days. But so good!
       Tonight, as I read what the wicked were doing, over and over in my mind I found myself asking, "Lord, is it I?". And my eyes filled with tears in not wanting to be like that. Great fear and destruction is waiting those who will not have God for their god. And although much is coming, and Brother Ridges points out that Isaiah/God want us to know WHY he is doing things so that we can use our agency wisely... but as I read the temptation to have terror and fear for the last days came upon me, but then the remembering the sweet words of if we are prepared we shall not fear. I don't want to fear, nor do I need to fear. I am grateful for the gospel in my life. How I love it. How I need it. How I long to be who God wants me to be. I feel strengthened and uplifted by his hands. I yearn to learn about him and like Uncle Dave says, lay hold on all of his dealings with the children of men. Me too. I have a long ways to go, but I do see his hand. And I praise his name! I love him!  I love Jesus Christ and I long to be like him. I long to have as Penny Hughes on accident typed that it was going to be a "god year" instead of good year... I do want it to be not just a God year, but a God day, week, moment. I want Christ to be the motivation and the reason behind my heart and the things that I do. I want to see as I am seen by Heavenly Father. I want to lift burdens  and strengthen those who are weak. I want to lose my life to him, for it is not even my life to lose, for I am bought with a price. But rather I rather take His life/way of life up as my own. I am so tempted to think that my way is better, or that what I want or desire trumps. Christ went about healing folks one by one and spending his time with those that most needed him. I NEED him and how I want to be his hands for those who NEED him. We all need him.
         I am not yet a mother, and I often ponder how mothers do all that they do. Truly selfless beings that adapt and keep the temperature warm, the smiles coming. Like Karisa said, MOM = “Manager of Miracles”. How to keep a home, love the children, still serve and be about God's work with my children. I have a desire to instill in them love and faith in Jesus Christ. A desire to give of themselves freely. To be humble followers. To not just be hearers of the word but doers. What a role given to mothers. My own mother who lifts and serves, blesses others through her faith and cheer. My sisters and sister in laws who day in and day out give of their heart and soul.  I know there must be balance and I dread slackening on my commitment to God and pray that even while being a mother I can be secure and ever improving in my relationship/relying on my God. IT is an area of my life I do not want to give up on or slacken in. I must find a way to keep the balance of having time with God even in the mist of all the pressures and wonderful strains of being a mother and raising a family. But my relationship with Heavenly Father--I plead that I might not slacken. That I can be all he wants me to be and give and do, while still getting/taking time to commune with him and read his word. All done in wisdom of course, but I see the demands on a mother and a wife. And I notice the demands and I am only a viewer from the outside for I have not been a mother yet. Oh I have the desire to love and not judge. To lift to cherish. I have a desire to be at home and serving in the kingdom. I say that now but I see how heavy some mothers have become. How does one keep the joy? How does one make sure she stays bathed in help as Sister Beck says, even in turbulent times? I don't know the answer, but I know that it stems and has to do with keeping Christ in my day every day. Keeping Him in my center. How to do this as a mother... I must find a way. I want to be a mother for Christ and this gospel. I want to be a wife that will adorn herself for her husband.
     ...
         Random journal, but my soul is full and stirs with Wonder.  I love my God. I love my Savior. How I yearn to be like them. How I yearn to bring anyone to them that would come.  I live and want to live my life for them.

 I studied in John tonight, and was yet reminded again that the desires I have, although don't match with a world outlook, are truly the desires of my heart. I am to "let my light so shine". I am not sure why I try so hard to hide it at times, or rather to not be seen as "churchy" ... but truth be told, this is who I am. 

And WHO am I? I am Bryndi K Cloward. I AM a daughter of God. I have Heavenly parents who love me, who's Godly traits are embryos inside me waiting to be 1.) discovered and 2.) developed & shared. I am a keeper of the Cloward and Babbel names. My parents and ancestors' blood runs through me and I will be true to the divine in them and me. I am a holder of my tongue. The Savior suffered long and I will learn to birth (as dad says) that embryo--to nurture it. I believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men...I believe all things, I hope all things, I have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I seek after these things (13th Article of Faith).  I am not perfect. I am perfectly flawed. Through Christ my weaknesses can be made strengths. I will be, in the form God allows me to be, a mother and a wife that keeps Christ at her center. I am a barer of light. HIS light and I will let His light shine through me. I am Bryndi K Cloward. I am a hard worker, I am full of integrity and I see the "God" in those around me. I am a keeper of mens hearts. I am a giver of love, and a seeker of obtaining and giving unconditional love. I take joy and become bliss filled as I see/recognize His hand not only in my life but His hand in the lives of others. I am Bryndi K Cloward. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--my own choice and blessed choice it is!! I am For Jesus Christ and am a builder in His kingdom. I know HE LIVES. 

I am Bryndi K. Cloward-- and I will let His Light, so shine, through me.

This is who I am/strive to be. And no matter what, Heavenly Father and His will come first... I will go. I will do, for I KNOW who I am.

I am Bryndi K Cloward. I am a child of God.

BIG DIPPER

Can I just tell you, God plays such a part of our every day. His hand is there whether we are custom to seeing it or just think that it is our life and He is not "in it" much--HE IS.

My heart is full for so many reasons....

WASHER & LIST OF I LOVE YOU

My washer went out last week. Wonderful! :/ !! Dad was gone and told me to give Uncle Paul a call. To the rescue he came. Without any help from me--he came to my house, took the door off my laundry room, wheeled out my washer, loaded it into the truck, off to Orem to drop it off, a few days later, picked it up, rolled it back in, hooked it back up and put my door back on. I LOVE MY UNCLE PAUL!!

I was deeply touched by his selfless service. When dropping off the washer she shared with me something that God did for him back in May. Pauly was going through all of Becky's old church/primary files on the computer. He started to delete them off. As he was doing this Sue called him up and asked him what he was doing. He told her and she mentioned to not delete anything that he shouldn't by mistake. He said he was looking through all the files. Again Sue urged him to open everything. He found a file that he assumed was a forward email on reasons why I love you. Becky and Paul always forward emails back and forth. Paul opened up the file. It was no email forward... but was a list that Becky was making on Paul of all the reasons why she loved Paul...! There were 56 (or 54 I can't remember) items listed of why she loved Paul.... ! Becky has been gone since November and Paul found this file in the computer in May. I cried as Paul shared this tender mercy with me.... God is so good, so kind! I love you Pauly! Thank you for all your help!

"GO TO MYRNA'S"
Saturday brought a feeling that I needed to go and see Myrna.
Sunday the same impression kept coming over and over. There were so many miracles that happened on Sunday that I was literally at the church until 6pm. The impressions kept getting stronger and stronger. So not daring to even go home I drove, speeding a bit into the canyon and prayed that God would allow me to get there to see her. The above picture was taken before Myrna's Cancer. She has been going through Chemo.

I finally arrived in her deserted town and knocked on her door. No answer. I knocked again seeing a light on. She eventually came to the door. We talked for a moment and then this giant of a woman broke down into tears. She said that for whatever reason she was so lonely that day and just couldn't shake it. Embarrassed she hid her face from me not wanting me to see her tears. She told me that she knew that Jesus Christ was there for her and that she would be okay, but that the day was extra hard. We cried together. Ann and Woody had stopped by earlier to visit with her. I did not stay long for Myrna was exhausted but we prayed together and the spirit of the Lord filled the home and we both cried with gratitude.

I pulled away from her house weeping. Deep gratitude for such a woman being brought into my life. She is a solid rock and a choice example of love and trust in God. I thought of her little tiny three street town where in the winter she is the only soul that lives in her town... I thought of all the people God could have brought into my life, he brought me Myrna! How could I ever repay such a kindness?

"VISIT WOODY & ANN"
On my drive back to Scofield, I felt to stop and see Ann and Woody. I don't think I have ever made a stop by myself at their place so it must have come as a surprise to them. But we talked and we spoke of our love for Myrna. I mentioned that her request was for green tomatoes to which Woody replied that it was already taken care of. Woody and Ann asked Myrna what they could do for her and she requested some green tomatoes that she could fry up. Woody came home, called a friend and had made arrangements to take her the tomatoes the very next day. I could not hind my emotion at he and his wife's love and commitment to Myrna.

CANYON DRIVE
The night was dark and I was left to drive home. No music, not talks on CD, just my bursting heart. I prayed out loud through sobs of gratitude as I thanked God for all his kind blessings. I was overcome with emotion. At one point I was driving around a bend and looked up to see the Big Dipper right before the ridge line in the canyon. It was bright and deep and I thought that it was a perfect symbol of my feelings. My cup runth over and God has just been POURING his blessings into my life... through the righteous love and example of others. I could not stop crying.

RUNNING WITH SAM
Sam--too this month has been choice. (Nothing different then any other month with my association with him, but we did a few activities that we have never done before.)

When he asked me to go to Zion's quicker then quick I said thanks but no thanks and that was that. But I felt that I needed to pray about going--to which the answer was that I needed to go to Zion's. First hike ever in 10 + years. I worried about if I could make it.

Of course Sam is WAY TOO much of a gentleman to let me hike it by myself. He could have run the whole way up Angel's Landing, but he wanted to make sure I was okay. You can't tell, but I am pretty much dieing on these switch backs.
But what does Sam do? To make it so I don't feel the "pressure", he just starts taking "pictures" so I can catch my breath. What a friend! Micarie and James were also good hiking buddies.
And I felt it choice choice that I was with like minded people. Was the view great on top?! Oh yes. :) But the view is not what made the day. God helped me hike something that even last year would have never been a reality.

For Sam's birthday we did Lagoon. Another thing that would have not happened last year or any time prior to that. (Other then this year the last time I was at Lagoon, was when I was in High school with Ash.)

Here Sam and I are dry and having fun. Sadly my bumper car experience was mostly driving backwards because apparently it is a real art to go forwards!
The 2nd round of Rattle snake rapid brought on a new look for the rest of evening--the wet Rat look! I wasn't excited to have my straight hair hit the fuzz of what water does, but Sam couldn't wait to go on the wet ride. How can you deny such a smile?! I couldn't and said yes/went on rides with him that I didn't even do with my nephews!

Why do I share all of this? A great lesson I learned from "running" with Sam. About two + years ago I picked up Sam for our ward temple night. We were running late and were looking for a parking place. Sam offered to drop me off and he would park and run. Me, not wanting to inconvenience him said it would be no problem and that we would just both run together. (WRONG ANSWER! :) We parked out on the street and then had to run to the temple. Did I mention that Sam is a runner? Well our jog to the temple just about did me in.

My 2nd run with Sam was after we finished hiking Angel's landing we started to run down the mountain a bit. We hoped to hike the narrows still that afternoon and everyone had already finished the hike.

My third time running with Sam was at lagoon as we raced through the rain to get to the Rattle Snake Rapids ride.

After Lagoon I was pondering over the fact that I had had a hard time running with Sam. The first time at the temple, my body was a lot different then and running was not something I did. But I have since learned how to jog, but still found the hike and Lagoon's little runs--left me out of breath. I must admit I was slightly annoyed with my lack of stamina. So two days after lagoon, Monday morning, I felt it get up and go jogging. It has been months out of a routine and I figured I would only be able to go 5-mins. I figured I would start extremely slow and when I felt like backing off I would back off... but I ended up jogging over a mile?!!! And the next day was about a mile and a half! What was the difference? Why the change jogging for a while as apposed to dieing with Sam's and I little jaunt?! Why had I about died with Sam? The difference is... on my jogging, I took it my pace. I was not trying to keep up with anyone nor have any eyes on me. I was presently surprised at how long I went for not having jogged since basically Feb. This was a great lesson for me. How true it is to life. If I am consistent and take things at my pace/my impressions--not based/pleasing any other one... I can accomplish more than I thought I could/can! God is so okay if we go the pace we need to. The catch is--to KEEP moving in the direction towards Him.

JOURNALS
I had the impression this week to write in my journal. I won't lie, it was kind of a big inconvenience! HUGE one just because I didn't feel like I had "time" to write in my journal. After my journal was typed, I copied the pages and went to my online journal to past the info in. I was surprised and hand not remembered having entries in the last two months... but there were journal entrees. What in the world had I written about? I seriously couldn't remember writing.... So I opened up a few entrees and was overcome. SUCH amazing things God has brought into my life in the last few months. Sometimes I really hate the question when people ask me what I have been doing. After long work hours, what does Bryndi Cloward do with her life? Well that is a very good question but I often dread being asked it. .... reading these journal entries I was reminded of the sweetness of my life. It is a life filled with challenges and trials and temptations trying literally to kill me by degrees, but I can honestly say that my life is FILLED with God and moments from Him.

As I read my eyes were wet and I was reminded of His hand in my life. OH chalk that up for another reason to keep a journal! I have many times, late in the night, typed, slept, opened my eyes, typed again, over and over and then the next day gone back in to try and figure out what I was trying to write through my sleep. But hey, that has to count for something right?! :D

I have recently spoken with two close friends. One shared that he hasn't gotten a blessing since he was 12 and that was for appendicitis (he now being a returned missionary age). I asked him why and he said he is one of the oldest of a lot of kids, and so "going with out" so that others can have the need of the parents/joys was just a part of his life. When I asked him about getting a blessing, he said he thought it would be a good idea, but that he didn't "need" one. The interpretation for that is that he was not "dieing" so therefore didn't need one. Oh I had much to say about that!

God is a God of greatness! He is named "God" after all and for good reason. Oh how I see his workings in my life. And equally choice I see/he allows me to see his workings in the lives of others. God is a god of miracles! He is good, he is gracious. He is FULL of mercy, truth and light. He is a father that loves and cares and listens and blesses.... Bible dictionary--blessings he would already give but are CONDITIONAL upon our asking for them. I guess a very subtle tactic of the adversary is to be so "okay" with life that we are okay/never feel the "need" to seek ask for such blessings. But don't the scriptures say over and over, ask and ye shall receive seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. SHALL is strong language. There is no MAYBE you will receive, or IF you are having a good day and have been infinatly kind you MIGHT get an answer. God says SHALL. "Shall" is in THOU SHALL NOT KILL or thou SHALL not commit adultery... God is using the SAME SHALL.

So my thoughts, am I allowing God to be MY GOD? To be my shepherd. A shepherd leads guides supports, lifts, blesses, finds, and when needed places me those whom he has found on his shoulders. But if I am so okay with life, and who I am that I don't "need" God...? Isn't that lack of "need" a direct tool of the devil?! I answer yes. It is. Does this mean that God doesn't want us to use our brain and being about much good of our own free will and choice, certainly not. He wants us to use our brains! And perhaps one area we can start is figuring out what GOD is in our life. And if there is a place for God to BE OUR GOD. Surely the Savior followed and did the will of the father in everything, and what is so beautiful is that he still had agency. Christ didn't have to do what he said he would do. He didn't have to seek the father on anything or pray as much as he did. I am pretty sure he was capable of having and living a FULL=BUSY life without his God. But He chose to have his Father in Heaven be apart of His every movement. Whether by seeking and asking, or the Savior already alining His will to the Father's. What a team!! What a companionship!!

Can it not be the same for each of us?!

If we allow God to BE in our day by keeping him close in prayer and counseling with him in all our doings and he WILL direct us for good (Alma 37:37). There is another word like shall = will! Do we really believe that he will? The scriptures say He will. And it doesn't say "when" we feel like some of our doings are really important, or the ones that are just Sunday/church oriented. ALL says means ALL--doesn't it?!

I have such a deep testimony that God doesn't lie about what He says. And that He can teach us how He CAN be our God. Our daily life breathing, in need of God. And how his Son, Jesus Christ CAN be our Christ, our Savior.

I recently had a conversation with a choice friend. They shared that perhaps God is given too much credit for things that happen. That yes he is in our lives, but he lets our lives play out and is not into all the details. I believe things play out, actions, consequences come to pass for those actions good or bad, but I have found for myself, that even when I don't have to remind myself to breath/or the air isn't smelling that it causes me to remember that hey it stinks or hey it smells good.... regardless if I am thinking of it or not-- I am always breathing air. It surrounds me, fills my lungs in and out morning night when I am away when I am asleep. It is always there playing one of the most vital roles in helping me stay alive....air allows me to breath. And that goes into having a body that will let me breath, lungs, a heart to pump, blood to BE pumped... and yes I function without even remembering or thinking of these things. But yet they are their and very much apart of why I am living and not dead. I believe God is the same. He is there ALWAYS whether I choose to acknowledge him or not, whether I "see" him or not, He is there more than I know.

My heart is full. God is so good. And I can tell you that He can and IS apart of our every day life. One can adjust to have the veil/realization pressed so they what they did not see before, but was always there, they can now see. Jogging three times with Sam pretty much told me I was not a jogger and I could not do it. BUT I could not see, did not know, had to learn that I just needed to go a different pace. And with that different pace brought in long periods without stopping. Something I could not SEE possible-but was ever reality.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but to the one who doesn't know or see yet the air that surround them-- You have a God in Heaven, your father. And He will BE your God if you will let Him. For He is there, whether you have allowed/trained yourself to see Him or not. Not seeing doesn't mean He is not there. He is, and He loves you. He loves us all! Oh may we thank our Great God for he can give us a portion of his Spirit to soften our hearts (Alma 24:8). Our Great God through is Son has made a way for our souls to be washed and bright through the atonement (Alma 24:13). And our great God will/has mercy on us and will make things known unto us and WHY because he LOVETH OUR SOULS (Alma 24:14).

He will be your God. He is my God! I know He is in my daily life and how grateful I am the condensation of His son, to aid/bless me.

Daily--one can have/see God in their life. I testify that this is true.

Big Dipper-- My cup is over flowing and blessings are pouring down on me... !

Jesus Christ lives. God hears and answers prayers.

ps. random side note- Penn I love you! Proud of you!

HAPPY for lots of reasons day!

Today my sister was born--we won't state how MANY years ago that was-- ;) ha ha, but I am so grateful for the person she is. It is amazing her heart fits inside her. She is constantly doing things for others... when she comes to town, she IS the life of any party. And if there is not a party-she makes a party.

I love you Kiss! Happy Birthday.

The past few weeks represent a lot of wonderful blessings God has placed in my life. Jenny, Nykki, Nic, Becky and Krysti all have June birthdays. Five amazing people that God has given me. I love you all.

This picture just makes me laugh!


Dad stuffing the turkey.

If you don't know my dad, you should! You would find a man of integrity. A man who is constantly bettering his best. A man who honors the priesthood which he holds. He truly is a wonderful father, husband, and one of this girl's best friends. I love you Dad! Happy Father's Day!

I don't have words to express it, but to all those father's out there--my fabulous and almost perfect in this sister's eyes, brothers. To my Uncle Paul and all my uncles. To my friends whom I dearly love that have a spouse that honor their wives- Ben Larson, Richard Winget, Seth, Lester, Danny, Derek--just to name a few of the many men that God has placed as examples in my life. I love the families they love!

How thankful I am for a Father in Heaven who has allowed us to not only be physically created in His image, but that means we have also been created spiritually in His image with who and how He IS. I listened to a talk this weekend from Michael Wilcox where he shared that insight. What a beautiful truth! We are to become like the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. What lays in them, also lays within each of us.

What a sacred day. We ALL have a Father in Heaven-who loves us more than we can possibly understand/comprehend. Oh how I want to be like Him and His Son. How perfectly He loves. I am so grateful for his patience in my progress.

Happy Father's Day!

NOT SLOW TO REMEMBER THE LORD

There is much I would like to write about but something specific for this morning. Last night as I was dumping my phone, I found this picture. Seriously, this picture has not been touched at all--straight from a parking lot in Provo. How can you have moments like that and not know there is a God? Everyone must do his/her own searching/discovering. I found that out on the cruise last week. (Yes I will have to post some pictures later of the cruise because I took some fun shots.)

MEET ELLIOT URIAH ENGLISH!!
My awesome roommate was so kind to let me wake up at the crack of dawn without any complaining from her on how I was awesomely interrupting her sleep. Love you Wendy! About 5:30 I would get up, get dressed and head down to the jogging track. Most mornings were so windy that the doors were closed and the ship wouldn't let us out. But after much asking of the staff members, someone told me I could get to the track by going through the gym section of the ship. THANK YOU NICE PERSON for the information. After my attempt to keep my jogging program going, I would sneak back into my room, grab my scriptures and head up to the 15th floor where I found a little quite nook to study in. This was my habit every day. The nook was a more closed deck outside. I would move the chair and a table away from watching who was walking by and turn myself so that I wouldn't be distracted by people walking by.

Well, here it was Friday morning--just one day left on the Oasis and Uriah catches my attention. I looked up from studying to find this bright smiling 22 year old from Guyana. He told me that he came to move my chair and table for me because he had seen me studying there every day--but that I had beaten him to the job by coming up to study a little earlier than in past days. I was very impressed and touched that he noticed a passenger's morning habit and came to set it up for me. Who was this kid!?! :) We had a good chat about the Savior and I was impressed by his kind heart and big smile. Uriah didn't claim the singer card but some how I convinced him to sing me a song. He said that he would come back before I was done studying to sing to me. Sure enough, true to his word he came back. And of all the songs he could have chosen to sing to me--he sang one about God!! My heart was touched. What a way to share his testimony of loving God. Thank you Uriah for the song! Keep up the singing! You have a great voice! (Before the end of the month is up I am going to Google the song and see if I can find the words. It is a song I would like to teach to my kids some day.) (BUMMER--I can't get the movie to upload. I will try again later. But the song says, ""Lord you are more beautiful than diamonds. And Lord you are more constant than gold. And Lord you are more precious than silver. And nothing I desire compares with you…"-- I will try to upload it and see if I can get Uriah's awesome singing uploaded by tonight.)

I left my study that morning, praising Heavenly Father for allowing to meet Uriah.

Later that day I was at the pizza parlor and before I said a word about what to do with my pizza, the sweet Jamaican girl behind the counter, with a HUGE grin on her face told me about her morning dream. She dreamed that Satan was chasing her--and she was running away and trying to get out of his grasp. She finally found a window and jumped out of it just in time to escape his power/grasp. I asked her why she was smiling and she she said that when she woke up, she immediately called her sister and asked her sister to pray for her soul. She was happy because her sister prayed for her and she felt a peace come into her soul after having such an intense and ugly dream. That peace, she told me, was why she was smiling so much.

Seriously, this girl and I had only exchanged a smile before she just shared her morning with me. Again, I could not help but smile at her openness to tell someone why she was so happy/smiling.

Then Sat morning, about 6 AM--as I was waiting to get off the ship, I was sitting in central park at a little cafe. Seriously, I indulged a little in their raisin, bran muffins. AMAZING! As I was looking up into the dark/fog filled sky, an employee came walking by. He was from India. I smiled and we had a great conversation. Now... by the end of this trip, I was already in awh with all the people who where serving me. 2,000 employees are on the Oasis. Many of them don't get my tips, and the ones that do, don't get anything until the end of the week anyway... But here, their constant focus was MY and all the other cruisers, happiness/satisfaction/enjoyment. I was amazed at their humanity. I pondered over and thought "Well done!"--to Royal Caribbean for building up 2,000 employees to be better neighbors, kinder citizens wherever the next journey in their lives take them. --The last two days of the trip, these thoughts were heavy on my mind, and my own need to become better in my humanity. Well this kid from India starts chatting with me. And before he left, he thanked me for being friendly--! He was kidding right?! For that is how I felt everyone one that worked on that ship was. Just good good people!! I was reminded again and again, how each of us is a Son or Daughter of God. Our Heavenly Father's qualities can be found in everyone.

I surely did not want to go on this business trip, but both Patti and I prayed and we felt I was to go. And walking away from it, yes quite exhausted, like the mission, going to the temple, institute, studying, I am more in debt! I am so thankful God allowed me to view so many different nationalities of people. I saw their kindness and constant goodness. Wow--I learned a lot. I want to be better as a result of being around Uriah, the Jamaican gal who's name is too pretty for me to remember how to spell and this guy from India. I stand all amazed. Every single person has something to offer. Everyone has something to give. We are here not to just by pass earth life and "get through it" but to truly work and serve, love and support our brothers and sisters. ALL we come in contact with. I am not here for my own journey alone. If I were, what a sad and selfishly lonely life earth life would be.

LED TO A VERSE
Felt to share this personal revelation to me. Not for anything more other than I felt to write it down and share it.

Seems like all those that I deeply love are going through their own little times of trial and hardship. Yesterday and the last few days have been filled with deep emotions. Some anxieties. I have fasted, I have prayed many times throughout the day on my knees requesting God's assistance to all those that I love. No one is dieing! Don't take alarm. :) But everyone in their own way have awesome Goliaths and Labans they are facing. And yesterday the overwhelming thoughts of all that is to play out. I felt much in my soul like the servant that was with Elisha in seeing all of the chariots of soldiers ready to pounce them, "Alas, my master! how shall we [they] do?" I do not believe in despair, I have too much hope...but truly the burdens I behold others going through caused a great heaviness on my soul. Then, as God does so often in my life, he led me (not in my normal routine of reading in order) he led me to read Alma 55 in preparation for institute tonight... and there the Balm of Gilead was given! As I am sure that Joseph Smith in his own Hell of Carthage Jail must have received a stirring and deep peace in receiving D&C 122...I too was given such a moment by reading Alma 55:31

But behold, the Nephites were not slow to remember the Lord their God in this their time of affliction. They could not be taken in their snares..."

"...not slow to remember the Lord their god in THIS THEIR TIME of affliction."(emphasis added) I read this verse and wept. I am not perfect, so far from it. But with confidence I can say that I have strived not to forget God in good times and in bad times. And this verse spoke peace to my soul. It was as if God was saying, "Hey Bryndi, I have got your back. You are not slow to remember me. Those whom you love are not slow to remember me. Trials are here. Affliction is great and yes very deep, but I am here. You are not without me right now in this your time of affliction." I told you---kind of really personal. :) I often play Richard G. Scott's words over and over in my mind.

"No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life."

And I did last night before coming upon the verse, ponder over Elder Scott's words. I told myself that the challenges were just temporary scenes to be played out as a background of a pleasant life. "Temporary" played out in the "background". Background is just filler stuff. It is not the focus of anything. In a picture, the subject is the focus and the background often becomes blurred.

Well, this verse spoke much peace to my soul. I rejoiced/found great peace in the fact that I can say with confidence I have been striving to keep God/remember him throughout my days. I try to direct my thoughts to him and be with a constant prayer in my heart. This being said, I am not perfect. I am far from it. But there is something to say about the peace in being prepared. I am well acquainted with who Heavenly Father is and what keeping his commandants can do/do do for me. At this moment of my time and those I love times of affliction--we are not just Sunday worshipers of a God we only know through an hour of Sunday worship. We are a family/friends acquainted with the tender mercies of God throughout the week. There is not a day that goes by that I do not see His hand witnessed and often countless times throughout each day. I know in whom I trust! And just as another act of His many countless kindnesses, he allowed me to be reminded that I have remembered him in times of joy, and I will remember him in this my time of affliction and I can call upon Him in this my time... the deliverance/kindness of God was that, "They could not be taken in their [the enemies/the affliction/the trial's] snares..." May this very personal thing, help whoever feels entrapped by a snare of whatever magnitude/shape.

PS. SIDE NOTE! MIRACLE!!! I had the opportunity to go with a girlfriend to the temple yesterday morning. Boys--oh you would be so lucky to date such a girl!! As we were walking up to the temple from the parking lot my girlfriend turned to me and asked if we could slow our pace for she was starting to be "huffing it" as we walked. Embarrassed at my speed in my walk, I slowed down and told her of course we could slow down...we both laughed and walked the normal speed one should walk in high heals. It wasn't until after leaving the temple that I caught the miracle and significance of our walking!! I was not "huffing" at all. Now I am not in awesome shape yet, but for months I have been working on it. Just last year, I would dread over ever having to walk up to the temple with a guy because I knew I would have to be hiding my inside huffing of walking fast up the slanted hill. It is like the dreaded stairs at UVU. You start at the bottom and by the time you get to the top floor, which is from the bottom of campus to the top--by the time you get to the top you are trying to not look winded and you are keeping a smile on your face just so your mouth is open to get as much air to your lungs without looking like you are gasping for it. If you are reading this and have not never experience this/know what I am talking about--you can stop reading now because there is just no way for you to sympathize or know! ;) Well, that is how I used to be going to the temple. And yesterday, in high heals, I was walking fast enough to make my friend winded. Not on purpose of course. Lesson learned, I want to make people comfortable and I will watch my pace. Miracle witnessed! I DID NOT HUFF!!! Really!? ... I stand all amazed! And anyone who knows me ... reads all amazed! ha ha Told you!! God, IS a God of miracles!! :)

MEET ROSILINNE

Yesterday I left work feeling I needed to head over to the mall and go to a store where I had met a sweet single mom in one of the stores. I gave her a Book of Mormon and challanged her to read it and find if it was true for herself. My prompting to the mall, I figured was just to follow up with her. She was there and she had started to read and admitted that the past week, she got all through 1 Nephi and had felt a difference in her life. It was wonderful to reconnect with her! I left her store with yet a 3rd hat and felt I was good to go over to the Church. I figured she was my only reason for going to the mall. And anyone who really knows me KNOWS I hate shopping with a passion. I almost rather go to the dentist! So there was no reason to stay any longer at the mall.

As I walked out of the mall, I noticed 3 boys dressed in black with piercings all over and black spiky hair, walking in front of me. In front of them was a woman in an electric wheel chair. I didn't think she was moving fast enough for these boys and I was curious how they would react to her. They all cut in front of her as she tried to make the handycap door open... and then, after they cut in front of her, one held the door open so this woman could get through. I could not help but smile at their kindness. They held the door open for me too and I remarked to them that we needed more people in the world that are considerate of others. What I thought were boys, turned out to be men! I was impressed by their kindness.

Well, I got talking to this woman and just felt drawn to her. The past few weeks I have prayed over feeling like I was not a great neighbor because I am just never home to care for those who live around me. And I have expressed my desire to care for those wiser in years then myself.

My heart has been turned in stores whenever I see a sweet older man/woman sitting with their grocery cart--I find myself making sure they catch my wide grin as I walk by. I have had quite a few sessions of prayer letting the Lord know I really want to be my brothers keep and love those around me. Well Ros was the answer to much prayer.

Rosilinne fell asleep while driving back in 1993 and was hit by a bus. When she was taken to the hospital she had so many things broken and messed up the doctors could not believe she was alive.

She told me of her struggles to get better. She spent almost a year in the LDS hospital trying to have her body rebuilt. And yet, here this peppy woman was at the Mall-- in her electric chair--buying flat bread (that you can find in the food court) for her sister's family of 8. She told me she often comes for several hours to the mall and goes and watches movie after movie just to get out of her place. She told me how she loved transformers and thought that Star Trek was quite good. Ros is paralyzed on her left side (complications from the accident and a stroke) but here this peppy little lady was out living life to the fullest! She told me how people tend to not know what to do with her because her body would make you think she was a vegetable. But she loves them anyway and tries to help them understand that she is quite capable.

It started to rain so we went back into the mall court and for an hour just talked while we waited for her bus to come.

Ros was a school teacher and after her accident she still tried to help trouble teens. She would often tell them, "You are not going to recognize me when I am resurrected because I am going to be one hot chick!" I got a great chuckle out of that and told her I might have to adopt the same thought.

We talked of great things and then she told me that she went to the temple every week. I was surprised a bit by this because of her limitations with her physical body. I asked her why she did this, and she told me that when she dies, she doesn't want Jesus asking her, "Ros, what did you do with your life". So faithfully every week Ros goes to the temple with her sister. She does 2 or 3 sections in a row!

With tears in her eyes she commented that she hoped that Heavenly Father would recognize her desire to do something with her life even though it was very difficult and sometimes quite painful to accomplish even the basic tasks.

My cup was filled! We exchanged info and I watched her bus pick up her electric chair and then drive away. I had to say a pray of thanks for meeting such a determined woman. A woman who was living her life, not just existing.

That was last night... and then this morning, as I am waiting in the lobby of the Timp temple to do initiatory (45 min wait to even get into the locker room) I looked up from Moroni 7 to see a woman shuffling very slowly past me. I stood up and quite loudly said, "Ros?!! IS that you?!" And there after 20 secs of just trying to make her body turn towards me--it was Ros!! What a fun, unexpected reunion!

This week I have been studying in Moroni and I love the words written there... having a determination to serve him to the end.
What an example the Lord placed before me last night and this morning--Rosilinne IS determined to serve the Lord UNTIL the end. Even when life is quite difficult, she is still serving, hoping, praying, believing, and smiling wherever she goes.

Can I say the same for me?!

THE WORLD IS FULL OF FISHERS

I was driving to work this week and noticed a hawk circling an area over and over again. *Note, if you are watching a bird fly make sure you pull off the road before you decide to go into park! Cars will be much happier with you if you do this first.

I found the place the hawk was circling. I jumped out of my car and walked over to hide my bright red shirt under the covering of the trees. 5-6 more circles this hawk made swooping right above this little area of water. Here is the picture of the Hawk, can you see it? If not, here is a zoom in on the picture... see it now?!

I wondered why this hawk would be circling so precisely--and then I looked into the water. TONS of fish were making their way through the murky water. (Do hawks eat big fish?! I don't know! It seemed crazy for this field hawk to try for such a large fish, but still the Hawk dangerously circled.) I moved little closer to the fish, and the hawk must have spotted my red shirt because it flew away.

I then had 10 mins to just study the movements of all the fish. The water level was quite low. Every movement the fish made, I was able to see it move or a result of its movement-muddy puff clouds appearing.

They are just carp--you may say. Dirty, bottom feeders, oily meat--they are only good for catching cat fish my Dad tells me... and yet I was intrigued by their movement.

This week my heart has been touched by the fishers of men the Lord has brought into my life/view sight. Just the other day, a women was on the side of the road with a busted tier. As I drove past, I noticed a cop in his undercover cop car, stop and help take over her load. I played with a nephew who had a cardboard outfit on representing "Buzz light year". His Dad had taken the time to make him such a stylish suit! This little boy looked at me and said, "To infinity and beyond! Choose the Right"! What great mother took the time to instill such a simple truth-choose the right!? (A "fisher" mom, that's who!)

I talked with another nephew, 12 years old, he told me sometimes he has bad thoughts that just pop into his head... but on this particular day, he had prayed in the morning to have a good day and asked for the Lord's help. He said, "Bryndi, you know what? Some of those bad thoughts popped in my head today, but I immediately thought of a scripture and they didn't stay any longer." Oh to the parents of that little fish!

I have witnessed the kindness of a mother and her children, allowing to sacrifice some of their Daddy time, so he [the Daddy] could go help his sister and brother-in-law finish a basement room that was in need of some TLC remodeling.

I was called just this morning by a friend who wanted to drop off a mango to me at work, because she saw it in a Mexican store and knew it was a favorite treat of mine.

I have seen a girl love her family member, even when this family member gave her a black eye.

I saw a temple full of 19 ward members on ward temple night--putting forth their faith to accomplish a goal set by their bishopric.

I have seen fasting for loved ones, great time spent in the kitchen cooking a yummy meal.

I have seen garbage cans brought to the garages of the owners when the trash has come by.

I have seen sisters crying/praying over those they visit/have charge for.

I have seen friends have faith to ask God for help.

I HAVE SEEN GREAT FISHERS among men!

Oh to the mothers and fathers that raise their children to God! Oh to the person who helps the stranded person on the side of the road. Oh to the deacon president who after hearing the messages at Priesthood...went out that very week and brought his "brothers" back to church. Oh to the uncle who helps a clogged toilet, oh to the friend who is always there to listen, oh to the worthy priesthood holders who are always willing to give a blessing, oh to the one who sits/stays by the side of a widow, oh to the mother that waits up until after midnight just to make sure her child made it safely home, oh to the one that wakes up at 6:00Am on a Saturdays just to help a friend learn how to run, oh to the Dad that takes care of the kids on the weekend mornings just so his wife can get a few more winks in, oh to the nurse that goes the extra mile to make sure her patient is as comfortable as possible, oh to the teacher that prepares a great less--even for just one, oh to the parents who pray for their addicted son, oh for the 80 year old man that still takes his wife lovingly by the hand.... What great fishers we have among us!!

We may feel like we are just fishers in the sea of life. Same old tasks, day in and day out, not feeling we can amount to become anything great. But like that circling hawk wanting to catch something much greater then itself (in size) we too can becoming something greater then we are right now! The Lord can make us fishers--among His men!!