AFTER THE MANNER OF HAPPINESS...

Some thoughts on my heart this week...

• I have a co-worker who is gracious, yet confident. Love the example she sets!
• I am still attracted / drawn to kindness. I hope I can apply / live the virtue of kindness better in my life.
• I like being able to sing the song of redeeming love, I have missed the time when I have not / could not.
• The piano moves me. I am so thankful for friends who borrow my piano to practice--meanwhile filling my home with the sweetest spirit. (click here)
• I watched this (click here thanks Kat for posting) and sat in reverent awh of this woman. When I finished watching it I desired to be better about shaving off anything that is not worthy of my time, my efforts, or my focus. I often think about the quote below... it is a reminder to me that I better be about what the Lord wants me to be about. Even if I feel I am choosing good things to do--I am to council with Him in all my doings... that He may direct me for good (Alma 37:37). It's easy to be "doing". But what doings am I doing? Are they for Him, approved by Him?
  

     "It wasn’t long before we realized that there were a lot of things a stake presidency could do—so many, in fact, that if we didn’t set inspired priorities, we might miss doing the important ones. Competing priorities began to arise, deflecting our focus from the vision shared by the Brethren. There were many “good” things to do, but not all of them mattered most.   

     "We learned an important lesson: the fact that something is good is not always reason enough to require our time and resources." --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf 

• I "happened" to come across my friend's inspiring journey of faith, how to use it, and how she applied it in her life to obtain a dream she had. Her applications of faith, and her bluntness / straight forward directness of how truly it works = BEAUTIFUL! Time reading, well invested. Thank you Mel. (click here for Faith and Pianos and just treat yourself to two of Mel's drawing posts. They gave me a fun chuckle! I sooo relate with the ipad, I LOVE mine too! Laugh with Mel's drawings on Pregnancy and the Demise of Veganism click here, and ipad love click here.)
• Tonight I studied "How to Survive in Enemy Territory" --President Packer's address in the Oct Ensign... EPIC talk! Mine is completely highlighted/marked up! Worthy of your time read! (Click here). 

"Discovering how the Holy Ghost operates in your life is the quest of a lifetime. Once you have made that discovery for yourself, you can live in enemy territory and will not be deceived or destroyed."--President Packer.

• A kid in institute made the comment about why he thought that the sacrament prayers tell us to always remember Christ. There is power in remembering. He shared that even when his days are filled with scripture study and temple attendance, which are good things, his life takes on a higher level of power and strength/peace when he actually strives to remember / think literally of Christ through out his day. I was inspired by his observation. I am striving to live the true principle he shared. 
• Sister Petersen my, New Testament teacher, shared that it is better to have a positive thought than a negative though. Well said! 
• A friend shared their thoughts on how it is okay to fail and to discover that you aren't the greatest / best at something or perhaps your efforts, even well intended, were / end up being a flop. Can there be any true success without the pains of trial and error?! Great truth. We are to never give up! Discouragement is a tool of the Devil. And how about the fear OF failing / not succeeding... fear immobilizes us. Satan's a clever one. Jesus Christ however, TRUMPS all aspects. The Savior can calm our fear, if we let Him. He can cause faith to replace doubt and to strengthen one / give power / courage to seize the day, finish the task, to keep walking the path that is unclear.
• I am finding the power and truth of Elder Christofferson's Daily Bread talk... (click here). I am being taught the power of pleading for the "bread" I need for the day. Never mind about tomorrow, there is enough evil in that all ready, but there is power in pleading and asking for what will sustain me just today.
• I have a testimony of the beauty, peace and freedom of fighting / living the battle of overcoming the natural man.
• What comes out of the mouth truly defiles the man. (Matt 15:18) May my insides be worthy of coming outside.

Conclusion: Or rather another beginning. Here's to another day of pleading for the Lord for the daily bread I need.... in doing so, I have been strengthened against the fiery ever so tempting ugly darts of the adversary. Here's to the woman who is my role model in quiet, yet powerful confidence. Here's to kindness in His redeeming love. Here's to pianos being obtained and played, faith exercised, and reminders/skills on How TO SURVIVE in Enemy Territory. Here's to the kid who opened his mouth about his thoughts on the Savior. I want to be like Jesus.

Be of good cheer.

The future is as bright as your faith. 

:)

--President Monson

I am grateful for goodly parents.

I love you mom and dad.

"Praise our good loving God, His faithfulness endues forever."

In response to an email I sent a dear friend asking if she was okay after a fire at her daughter's place on top of a handful of other hard things she has had to deal with...this was her response to my question.

Were it not for my faith in the Living God, and were it not for the POWER of the Holy Spirit at work in me, I am not sure I could have survived this year and remained a loving, caring, committed, hopeful, positive, productive, loving person. 

Thankfully, "...not I but Christ who live in me..."  has given me perspective without measure and wisdom beyond my years and circumstances.  

Praise our good loving God, His faithfulness endues forever.

This friend and I do not share the same religions views, but our love for the Savior, Jesus Christ and our belief in Him=one and the same! I was touched by her undaunted spirit and trust in God.

Amen Virginia! Thank you for the beautiful reminder you have set.

"Praise our good loving God, His faithfulness endues forever!"

I am grateful for sisters!

I have seen God's hand...

I have seen God's hand... I see life drenched in His tender mercies.  Jesus Christ is my Redeemer. He knows the depths of my soul. He knows my joys and my highest highs. He knows my dark and lowest lows. He leads, He guides, He reaches down, He fills, He strengthens, He stretches, and He tests, He answers, and He doesn't leave me alone. I have witnessed His hand not only in my life, but in the lives of those around me. He is the Christ, the great Savior of mankind. The Savior, of me. How I love Him.

Jesus is the Christ.

I know, He lives.

25 DAYS

25 Days seems a fitting number...

I always ponder about this time of year. And I know it is like beating the same drum, but I can't help stop thinking about what CAN happen with someone this time of year. Sadly, I learned of a suicide of a young teenage girl last week on or right after Thanksgiving. I learned of a friend who has a few family members that have been also contemplating suicidal thoughts and at times quite struggle with who they are and their very existence. I am not to judge, for I know not their thoughts or their struggles. I know not the anguish of their soul or what Goliath is staring them down. I know not.

But this I do know...

There is a loving Father in Heaven who sent His only Begotten son to not only die for us but also to live for us! And at this Christmas season--wouldn't it be something if we chose to live for Him?!

At this time of year, if one will allow, one can be filled with joy, with more kindness, patience, temperance, understanding. Mens hearts can naturally be turned outward and there is NO LIMIT to the amount of good one can do during the holidays. There is NO limit to the influence. There is no limit to the hands that can be served. The smiles that can be given and the burdens that can be lightened. Satan KNOWS this! He knows because of the time of year it is--there is greater chance, that IF someone will reach outside themselves their influence/good acts/kind words could triple and multiply by 7 times the normal JUST BECAUSE of the time of year it is!

So, if I were the adversary and I knew all that one could do for Jesus Christ at this time of year... Why not put ALL my efforts, demons, devils, discouragement on an individual and just get them to focus on them looking in instead of looking out.  To focus on self instead of focusing on others.  IF I can just get someone to not care about the season and to be caught up in the business and the parties and all the obligations, the shopper rush, the longing/ the $$$ debt-- If I could just help cause them to forget the WHY behind Christmas... Well shoot!  I think I would make a pretty convincing plan for Satan to stamp with his approval of what to do with his Troops this Christmas! 

But it doesn't need to be that way.

I have read a few beautiful things in the last 5 days that have caused me great reflection.

"Our eternal happiness will be in proportion to the way that we devote ourselves to helping others" --George Albert Smith

"It is better to walk with God in the darkness than without him in the light." --Maria Speidel

... the Holy Ghost "satisfies and fills up every longing of the human heart, and fills up every vacuum.  When I am filled with that Spirit...my soul is satisfied, and I can say in good earnest, that the trifling things of the day do not seem to stand in my way at all.  But just let me lose my hold of that spirit and power of the Gospel, and partake of the spirit of the world, in the slightest degree, and troubles comes; there is something wrong.  I am tried, and what will comfort me?  You cannot impart comfort to me that will satisfy the immortal mind, but that which comes from the Fountain above.  And is it not our privilege to so live that we can have this constantly flowing into our souls?" --Eliza R. Snow (from Daughters in My Kingdom)

Jesus Christ shared with those recorded in Matt and Luke to "love your enemies, do good to them that hate you"... and He shared the same counsel with the Nephites when he visited them after his resurrection.  I think He is trying to help us see and make a point that we need to be loving!

But how can we love, if we are hating?  How can we bless if we are only cursing back? How can we do good if we close off our heart?  And how can we sincerely pray for those around us if we are not inclined to sincerely pray in the first place?  No wonder Christ gave such timely council!

I came across a letter that my mom shared with me back in 2006. It was a letter that Uncle Dave had written to Grammy dated July 16, 2006. He was sharing with her about Luke 18 and what it takes to be a profitable servant. He then started reflecting a little on a few areas of his life and wrote that, "...and occasionally [I] don't keep some of the commandments. (I'm usually okay with the Ten, but have occasional problems with the Two Great Commandments, such as wrong priorities, unkind thoughts and words, ect.)" !!!!

The TWO GREATS ARE:

• Love the Lord thy God with all your heart - NOT KEEPING = wrong priorities.
• Love your neighbor as yourself - NOT KEEPING = unkind thoughts and words, ect.

Brilliantly stated! Thanks Uncle Dave! (Ha you may not have known that your sister was sharing your stuff with her daughter--but now you do!  ;))

I have reflected over those words... what are my priorities!

President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“Jesus … taught us how important it is to use our time wisely. This does not mean there can never be any leisure, for there must be time for contemplation and for renewal, but there must be no waste of time. How we manage time matters so very much, and we can be good managers of time without being frantic or officious. Time cannot be recycled. When a moment has gone, it is really gone. The tyranny of trivia consists of its driving out the people and moments that really matter. Minutia holds momentous things hostage, and we let the tyranny continue all too often. Wise time management is really the wise management of ourselves”  

Time cannot be recycled!

SOOO --- 25 Days!
(Not that it should only last 25 days, but goals/habits are measured with marking points...)

I would like to issue a challenge to anyone who is up for it.  For the next 25 Days--LET'S work on a "birthday" gift for the Savior.  That is to:

1.)  LOVE enemies... 
Those we have grudges towards.  Those who we feel have wronged us so we, sometimes unknowingly, withhold our love from them. Those who are in the checkout line and take their own sweet time... :)

2.)  BLESS them that curse...
That could mean, driving with a smile when someone does less than considerate actions with their car.  Serving someone that it would be easy to keep on moving.

3.)  DO GOOD to those that hate...
Forgiving is a good thing to do. Being slow to anger is a good thing. Slow to judge... living with giving people the benefit of the doubt... Smiling especially when it is so natural to not to car/want to be noticed... Focusing on others, choosing to be happy/positive-- all GOOD things to do. 

4.)  PRAY for others...
In a time when Satan will strive so hard to tempt us with thoughts of ending our life- only focusing inward, dwelling on what we can't see/don't have rather than seeing all we do have... If Satan can tempt us to not pray, and especially for others because we have given up or just stop caring... I say he has a pretty good plan!! Prayers can MOVE mountains!  (The faith in one's prayers..:))

SOO--What will your gift to Christ be this year?  Will you give Him 25 days?!!!  Will you give Him, in the form of doing it to/for others-- LOVE, BLESS by serving/noticing/caring, DO GOOD and PRAYING?!

What a "Birthday" (in the time of year when the world celebrates his birth) gift we could give!

The choice is ours...!

25 DAYS!!! 

BIG DIPPER

Can I just tell you, God plays such a part of our every day. His hand is there whether we are custom to seeing it or just think that it is our life and He is not "in it" much--HE IS.

My heart is full for so many reasons....

WASHER & LIST OF I LOVE YOU

My washer went out last week. Wonderful! :/ !! Dad was gone and told me to give Uncle Paul a call. To the rescue he came. Without any help from me--he came to my house, took the door off my laundry room, wheeled out my washer, loaded it into the truck, off to Orem to drop it off, a few days later, picked it up, rolled it back in, hooked it back up and put my door back on. I LOVE MY UNCLE PAUL!!

I was deeply touched by his selfless service. When dropping off the washer she shared with me something that God did for him back in May. Pauly was going through all of Becky's old church/primary files on the computer. He started to delete them off. As he was doing this Sue called him up and asked him what he was doing. He told her and she mentioned to not delete anything that he shouldn't by mistake. He said he was looking through all the files. Again Sue urged him to open everything. He found a file that he assumed was a forward email on reasons why I love you. Becky and Paul always forward emails back and forth. Paul opened up the file. It was no email forward... but was a list that Becky was making on Paul of all the reasons why she loved Paul...! There were 56 (or 54 I can't remember) items listed of why she loved Paul.... ! Becky has been gone since November and Paul found this file in the computer in May. I cried as Paul shared this tender mercy with me.... God is so good, so kind! I love you Pauly! Thank you for all your help!

"GO TO MYRNA'S"
Saturday brought a feeling that I needed to go and see Myrna.
Sunday the same impression kept coming over and over. There were so many miracles that happened on Sunday that I was literally at the church until 6pm. The impressions kept getting stronger and stronger. So not daring to even go home I drove, speeding a bit into the canyon and prayed that God would allow me to get there to see her. The above picture was taken before Myrna's Cancer. She has been going through Chemo.

I finally arrived in her deserted town and knocked on her door. No answer. I knocked again seeing a light on. She eventually came to the door. We talked for a moment and then this giant of a woman broke down into tears. She said that for whatever reason she was so lonely that day and just couldn't shake it. Embarrassed she hid her face from me not wanting me to see her tears. She told me that she knew that Jesus Christ was there for her and that she would be okay, but that the day was extra hard. We cried together. Ann and Woody had stopped by earlier to visit with her. I did not stay long for Myrna was exhausted but we prayed together and the spirit of the Lord filled the home and we both cried with gratitude.

I pulled away from her house weeping. Deep gratitude for such a woman being brought into my life. She is a solid rock and a choice example of love and trust in God. I thought of her little tiny three street town where in the winter she is the only soul that lives in her town... I thought of all the people God could have brought into my life, he brought me Myrna! How could I ever repay such a kindness?

"VISIT WOODY & ANN"
On my drive back to Scofield, I felt to stop and see Ann and Woody. I don't think I have ever made a stop by myself at their place so it must have come as a surprise to them. But we talked and we spoke of our love for Myrna. I mentioned that her request was for green tomatoes to which Woody replied that it was already taken care of. Woody and Ann asked Myrna what they could do for her and she requested some green tomatoes that she could fry up. Woody came home, called a friend and had made arrangements to take her the tomatoes the very next day. I could not hind my emotion at he and his wife's love and commitment to Myrna.

CANYON DRIVE
The night was dark and I was left to drive home. No music, not talks on CD, just my bursting heart. I prayed out loud through sobs of gratitude as I thanked God for all his kind blessings. I was overcome with emotion. At one point I was driving around a bend and looked up to see the Big Dipper right before the ridge line in the canyon. It was bright and deep and I thought that it was a perfect symbol of my feelings. My cup runth over and God has just been POURING his blessings into my life... through the righteous love and example of others. I could not stop crying.

RUNNING WITH SAM
Sam--too this month has been choice. (Nothing different then any other month with my association with him, but we did a few activities that we have never done before.)

When he asked me to go to Zion's quicker then quick I said thanks but no thanks and that was that. But I felt that I needed to pray about going--to which the answer was that I needed to go to Zion's. First hike ever in 10 + years. I worried about if I could make it.

Of course Sam is WAY TOO much of a gentleman to let me hike it by myself. He could have run the whole way up Angel's Landing, but he wanted to make sure I was okay. You can't tell, but I am pretty much dieing on these switch backs.
But what does Sam do? To make it so I don't feel the "pressure", he just starts taking "pictures" so I can catch my breath. What a friend! Micarie and James were also good hiking buddies.
And I felt it choice choice that I was with like minded people. Was the view great on top?! Oh yes. :) But the view is not what made the day. God helped me hike something that even last year would have never been a reality.

For Sam's birthday we did Lagoon. Another thing that would have not happened last year or any time prior to that. (Other then this year the last time I was at Lagoon, was when I was in High school with Ash.)

Here Sam and I are dry and having fun. Sadly my bumper car experience was mostly driving backwards because apparently it is a real art to go forwards!
The 2nd round of Rattle snake rapid brought on a new look for the rest of evening--the wet Rat look! I wasn't excited to have my straight hair hit the fuzz of what water does, but Sam couldn't wait to go on the wet ride. How can you deny such a smile?! I couldn't and said yes/went on rides with him that I didn't even do with my nephews!

Why do I share all of this? A great lesson I learned from "running" with Sam. About two + years ago I picked up Sam for our ward temple night. We were running late and were looking for a parking place. Sam offered to drop me off and he would park and run. Me, not wanting to inconvenience him said it would be no problem and that we would just both run together. (WRONG ANSWER! :) We parked out on the street and then had to run to the temple. Did I mention that Sam is a runner? Well our jog to the temple just about did me in.

My 2nd run with Sam was after we finished hiking Angel's landing we started to run down the mountain a bit. We hoped to hike the narrows still that afternoon and everyone had already finished the hike.

My third time running with Sam was at lagoon as we raced through the rain to get to the Rattle Snake Rapids ride.

After Lagoon I was pondering over the fact that I had had a hard time running with Sam. The first time at the temple, my body was a lot different then and running was not something I did. But I have since learned how to jog, but still found the hike and Lagoon's little runs--left me out of breath. I must admit I was slightly annoyed with my lack of stamina. So two days after lagoon, Monday morning, I felt it get up and go jogging. It has been months out of a routine and I figured I would only be able to go 5-mins. I figured I would start extremely slow and when I felt like backing off I would back off... but I ended up jogging over a mile?!!! And the next day was about a mile and a half! What was the difference? Why the change jogging for a while as apposed to dieing with Sam's and I little jaunt?! Why had I about died with Sam? The difference is... on my jogging, I took it my pace. I was not trying to keep up with anyone nor have any eyes on me. I was presently surprised at how long I went for not having jogged since basically Feb. This was a great lesson for me. How true it is to life. If I am consistent and take things at my pace/my impressions--not based/pleasing any other one... I can accomplish more than I thought I could/can! God is so okay if we go the pace we need to. The catch is--to KEEP moving in the direction towards Him.

JOURNALS
I had the impression this week to write in my journal. I won't lie, it was kind of a big inconvenience! HUGE one just because I didn't feel like I had "time" to write in my journal. After my journal was typed, I copied the pages and went to my online journal to past the info in. I was surprised and hand not remembered having entries in the last two months... but there were journal entrees. What in the world had I written about? I seriously couldn't remember writing.... So I opened up a few entrees and was overcome. SUCH amazing things God has brought into my life in the last few months. Sometimes I really hate the question when people ask me what I have been doing. After long work hours, what does Bryndi Cloward do with her life? Well that is a very good question but I often dread being asked it. .... reading these journal entries I was reminded of the sweetness of my life. It is a life filled with challenges and trials and temptations trying literally to kill me by degrees, but I can honestly say that my life is FILLED with God and moments from Him.

As I read my eyes were wet and I was reminded of His hand in my life. OH chalk that up for another reason to keep a journal! I have many times, late in the night, typed, slept, opened my eyes, typed again, over and over and then the next day gone back in to try and figure out what I was trying to write through my sleep. But hey, that has to count for something right?! :D

I have recently spoken with two close friends. One shared that he hasn't gotten a blessing since he was 12 and that was for appendicitis (he now being a returned missionary age). I asked him why and he said he is one of the oldest of a lot of kids, and so "going with out" so that others can have the need of the parents/joys was just a part of his life. When I asked him about getting a blessing, he said he thought it would be a good idea, but that he didn't "need" one. The interpretation for that is that he was not "dieing" so therefore didn't need one. Oh I had much to say about that!

God is a God of greatness! He is named "God" after all and for good reason. Oh how I see his workings in my life. And equally choice I see/he allows me to see his workings in the lives of others. God is a god of miracles! He is good, he is gracious. He is FULL of mercy, truth and light. He is a father that loves and cares and listens and blesses.... Bible dictionary--blessings he would already give but are CONDITIONAL upon our asking for them. I guess a very subtle tactic of the adversary is to be so "okay" with life that we are okay/never feel the "need" to seek ask for such blessings. But don't the scriptures say over and over, ask and ye shall receive seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. SHALL is strong language. There is no MAYBE you will receive, or IF you are having a good day and have been infinatly kind you MIGHT get an answer. God says SHALL. "Shall" is in THOU SHALL NOT KILL or thou SHALL not commit adultery... God is using the SAME SHALL.

So my thoughts, am I allowing God to be MY GOD? To be my shepherd. A shepherd leads guides supports, lifts, blesses, finds, and when needed places me those whom he has found on his shoulders. But if I am so okay with life, and who I am that I don't "need" God...? Isn't that lack of "need" a direct tool of the devil?! I answer yes. It is. Does this mean that God doesn't want us to use our brain and being about much good of our own free will and choice, certainly not. He wants us to use our brains! And perhaps one area we can start is figuring out what GOD is in our life. And if there is a place for God to BE OUR GOD. Surely the Savior followed and did the will of the father in everything, and what is so beautiful is that he still had agency. Christ didn't have to do what he said he would do. He didn't have to seek the father on anything or pray as much as he did. I am pretty sure he was capable of having and living a FULL=BUSY life without his God. But He chose to have his Father in Heaven be apart of His every movement. Whether by seeking and asking, or the Savior already alining His will to the Father's. What a team!! What a companionship!!

Can it not be the same for each of us?!

If we allow God to BE in our day by keeping him close in prayer and counseling with him in all our doings and he WILL direct us for good (Alma 37:37). There is another word like shall = will! Do we really believe that he will? The scriptures say He will. And it doesn't say "when" we feel like some of our doings are really important, or the ones that are just Sunday/church oriented. ALL says means ALL--doesn't it?!

I have such a deep testimony that God doesn't lie about what He says. And that He can teach us how He CAN be our God. Our daily life breathing, in need of God. And how his Son, Jesus Christ CAN be our Christ, our Savior.

I recently had a conversation with a choice friend. They shared that perhaps God is given too much credit for things that happen. That yes he is in our lives, but he lets our lives play out and is not into all the details. I believe things play out, actions, consequences come to pass for those actions good or bad, but I have found for myself, that even when I don't have to remind myself to breath/or the air isn't smelling that it causes me to remember that hey it stinks or hey it smells good.... regardless if I am thinking of it or not-- I am always breathing air. It surrounds me, fills my lungs in and out morning night when I am away when I am asleep. It is always there playing one of the most vital roles in helping me stay alive....air allows me to breath. And that goes into having a body that will let me breath, lungs, a heart to pump, blood to BE pumped... and yes I function without even remembering or thinking of these things. But yet they are their and very much apart of why I am living and not dead. I believe God is the same. He is there ALWAYS whether I choose to acknowledge him or not, whether I "see" him or not, He is there more than I know.

My heart is full. God is so good. And I can tell you that He can and IS apart of our every day life. One can adjust to have the veil/realization pressed so they what they did not see before, but was always there, they can now see. Jogging three times with Sam pretty much told me I was not a jogger and I could not do it. BUT I could not see, did not know, had to learn that I just needed to go a different pace. And with that different pace brought in long periods without stopping. Something I could not SEE possible-but was ever reality.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but to the one who doesn't know or see yet the air that surround them-- You have a God in Heaven, your father. And He will BE your God if you will let Him. For He is there, whether you have allowed/trained yourself to see Him or not. Not seeing doesn't mean He is not there. He is, and He loves you. He loves us all! Oh may we thank our Great God for he can give us a portion of his Spirit to soften our hearts (Alma 24:8). Our Great God through is Son has made a way for our souls to be washed and bright through the atonement (Alma 24:13). And our great God will/has mercy on us and will make things known unto us and WHY because he LOVETH OUR SOULS (Alma 24:14).

He will be your God. He is my God! I know He is in my daily life and how grateful I am the condensation of His son, to aid/bless me.

Daily--one can have/see God in their life. I testify that this is true.

Big Dipper-- My cup is over flowing and blessings are pouring down on me... !

Jesus Christ lives. God hears and answers prayers.

ps. random side note- Penn I love you! Proud of you!

"...YOU ARE NEVER ALONE..."

A few weeks back this awesome lesson was given in church by my Bishop and Brother Welch in my ward. (We belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.) The letter written below was written from an individual who had struggled with overcoming pornography. I was impressed with the principles shared and think that the council is wisdom for any addiction and/or incorrect habit that someone may be fighting to break/overcome.

The following letter was written from a person who had a pornography problem and was able to overcome this problem so as to serve a mission. He gave [Bishop Lifferth] this letter in hopes to help other people who have this problem to give them HOPE and council.
--
I keep having this thought going through my head that I should write to you about my experience with pornography, you may share this with whomever you wish, I just hope that my experience can help others find happiness in their lives.

It doesn’t matter how you start looking at pornography, because in the end it always leads to the same addictive result. The first step I had to take in battling pornography is realizing the damage that it does. Initially I rationalized looking at pornography by thinking that it would only hurt myself, and even then it is not hurting myself because my body is programmed to work this way. But then I began to think about my relationships before I began looking at pornography, and realized how my perceptions had changed about everyone I see. I no longer looked at people thinking of them as people, I only saw them as objects. This is not just demeaning to others, but it damages yourself, because you have crippled yourself emotionally. This emotional crippling hinders everyone around you. You become defensive all the time, your mind will continually jump to the wrong conclusions about people, and you will constantly see sexuality in everything and everyone. ONce I came to the conclusion that pornography was harmful, only then could I move on to the next step which was abandoning it.

Abandoning pornography is like abandoning a drug. It seems like the more you stop looking the more you crave it. But I promise that you can overcome the intense urges that come. Many people will tell you that if you picture someone you love in your mind while these urges come that it will help you fight the urge. I tried this and it didn’t work for me personally, I also tried humming my favorite hymn but that was to no avail, I even tried running away, but when I got back form the run I was still confronted with the same problem I was at before. The only way that I found to overcome this immense evil which had control over my life was to look at my life from an eternal perspective. I had to sit down and weigh out all that I wanted in my life and see if pornography was what I wanted. After I came to the conclusion that the only way that I could attain what I wanted in life was to rid myself of the controlling power of pornography, I began to start winning the battles over the urges. It began slow, and I lost the battle the first several times, but I began to feel a sense of self control. I finally began to control the urges, when this happens you will find a great amount of self confidence, and you will find that you will gain more and more control over yourself.

It is important to know that you will not win every time you have an urge to look at pornography. But one set back does not have to end in defeat, the real test of self comes form falling down and picking yourself back up.

Once you do have your first victories over pornography you may feel as I did and think that the problem is getting worse and that the urges are intensifying, this only shows that the great adversary, Satan himself, is trying is hardest to stop you from progressing. When this does occur I hope with all my heart that you will press on, and continue focusing on what you truly want from this mortal experience and continue towards that goal.

I testify to you that this evil does not need to persist. You have the power to stop it, you are a child of our almighty god and can draw on his infinite strength. I know this to be true, I know that the power of the atonement can save you and make you whole again. You have only to reach out to the savior, our brother, Jesus Christ and he will be there to help you out of the treacherous grasp of pornography. I know that this may seem lie an insurmountable task to accomplish, but you are never alone, call on your savior, use the atonement to purify your life, you will find no joy in pornography, joy can only be found in living a life in accordance to the plan of salvation. My dear brother or sister, I write this to you as if I were with you in person but I am not, but I want you to know that a multitude of blessings and outpouring of the spirit await you with open arms at the end of this trial. I promise you that if you will try to rid yourself of this evil you will gain happiness and find a greater depth to the gospel, I hope that these words will help you in your trials, and I leave this as a testament that there is hope, and there is forgiveness through our everlasting redeemer, even our savior and brother Jesus Christ.

The picture above is pretty significant. Spent some time in Zions on Monday and it was overcast the whole day. It was not until we were packing up to leave the park around 7pm that the light broke through and finally hit a few of the peaks. It only lasted about six or so mins, but as you can tell, it was breathtaking to see the peaks illuminated. I feel the same occurs with the addictions and weaknesses we struggle with in our lives. EVENTUALLY the "light" will come! I believe if one does all they can do, pleading and working out their struggles with the Lord--they will eventually have a "break through" in their efforts to overcome the "drug" of whatever magnitude... and their life can/will be filled with light--HIS light.

...ARE YOU WORTHY?

This guy in my ward (I will just call him "Jack" for this) shared a pretty awesome story that I felt I should share.

Jack and his buddies (this past week I believe) were up Hobble Creek Canyon long boarding down a hill they had not tried before. Jack's friend biffed it and landed on his face. There was blood everywhere.

Jack and his other friend put their injured friend in the back of the car and sped the long 40 min ride to the nearest hospital.

The kid hit his face pretty bad and could not remember anything... who he was, what had happened or even that he was a returned missionary. Jack, sitting in the front, lowered his chair and placed his hands on his friend's head (covered by a towel because of all the blood) and gave him a priesthood blessing.

The injured kid came to enough to know that he was covered in blood and asked why he was so bloody. He then asked if he had been wearing a helmet, which he had been--probably the only thing that saved his life, and then he asked if he got a blessing. Jack told his buddy that he had given him one, to which the kid responded, "Are you worthy?"! The question startled Jack for he was not expecting such a question in such a crisis, but he responded back to his buddy that "Yes" he was worthy.

The whole 40 min rush to the hospital, even though this injured kid could not recall what happened or who he was, he kept repeating the same four questions over and over:

Why am I all bloody?
Was I wearing a helmet?
Did I get a blessing?
Are you worthy?

Jack said he has never been so scared in his life... but he then testified of the truthfulness of the priesthood and how thankful he was that he had been worthy to give a priesthood blessing.

The story really touched me and made me think of my girlfriend who got in a pretty serious car accident. Her friend had been driving. He was okay, but she was really messed up and could not move. Help took a little while to come and she pleaded for her friend to give her a blessing... to which he responded that he could not, he was not worthy. She cried and asked over and over in the drama of the accident, "I need a blessing? Why have you not lived worthy? Why?". Help came and she was later given a blessing in the hospital.

The ensign article from this or last month--was shared about a woman who got in a wreck, and some random guy came to her window, not even knowing if he was a member, the first thing she asked for was a blessing and the man responded that he would and he did.

All three of these stories, I loved that all three people turned/sought out a blessing. Especially this kid long boarding that could not even remember who he was or what had happened. But out of the four questions he asked- Did I get a blessing? Are you worthy?! Surely the angels must have rejoiced that his spirit brought to the surface what principles that must have been imbedded as truth previously--so that at a moment of crisis the "well" to draw from was already filled! The kid in my ward shared with how sweet it was to know that he was worthy to give a blessing at such a moment of crisis.

Like a thief in the night we are told is when the Savior will come. No man knows the hour or the day, but like the 10 virgins we must be prepared and worthy with our promises to God. In keeping our covenants and commitments to him. None of us know when we will be called upon to serve someone at a "critical" moment in their life or at a pivotal moment in our own lives. Whether it is giving a blessing, being a listening ear, visiting/home teaching, following impressions... Like a thief in the night, or a ray that bursts through a blackened cloud--the sudden, with only a moment's notice, we never know when we will need to act. ... may we all strive to live worthy so we can, or rather, that God can act through us!!

Amen to the priesthood of God! Amen to men who live worthy and can call down the powers of heaven when needed. Amen to men who know that it is not them, but the Power of God working through/in them. Amen to men who are willing to serve with/in the priesthood. Amen to the women who have faith to ask for blessings. Amen to wives who sustain, support, and caringly (not a word I know, but it totally works! use your imagination) support the priesthood in not just in the home, but in the church. Amen for repentance and God's merciful plan in helping us readjust our life if there is a need to readjust so we can be worthy at a moment's notice.

In a moment of crisis, where will we turn? To ourselves, to the world, or to our God?

I pray I may be like the kid long boarding, my friend, and the woman from the Ensign. May I ever be filling my well, that when my physical body/brain doesn't know what to do, my spirit can jump in! May I be like this kid from my ward, that at a moment's notice, he was living in such a way, that he could be God's instrument.

Maybe this blog should have been titled, "At a moment's notice"... :)

My heart is full!

230G

So put a five mile run,

16 mile bike ride

and a 600 something swim
-- Besides being all wet and exhausted... gives you a very smiley 230G triathlon finisher!!!


Sam, decided to do his first ever triathlon this past weekend! He was so excited it was like watching a kid at Christmas. He could hardly wait for the big day. And I could hardly wait for him to have his big day! He was out to do his best and if that came with winning, well he would take that too!

The running was no problem for Sam. The biking--he would have liked to have been on a road bike, but he did great. Then came the challenge of the swim. Sam has never really taken lessons on swimming, so that was not his favorite challenge. His poor goggles could not keep a seal--which made swimming even less desirable. At the end of every lap, he had to re-adjust his goggles--dumping out all the water. Here he is working up the strength to go through the laps yet again.
Every time he would come to the end of the Lap, exhausted and tired he just kept saying he would finish--he wouldn't give up.

He was so exhausted, and I wanted to "rescue" him. Paola mentioned maybe someone could take his place. And the love I have for this kid was almost enough to wipe away every ounce of pride at being seen in "wet" clothes and dive in and take over his . But Sam didn't sign up for a team. He had to do this one on his own.

When Sam would reach a new lap--I decided that if he had to stop or look up, I wanted him to see my squatting face down next to the water. I tried of thinking of funny hymns to sing to him like "we are all enlisted til the conflict is through" and "Master the tempest is raging" ... but it was so loud in the pool that it didn't work out so well. ;) I am sure I was entertaining to the other observers!

There I was, admiring my friend's tired determination to finish the race. So all I was left/could do was cheer, make sure Sam saw I was watching/believing in him, and a WHOLE LOT of praying! I wasn't praying because I didn't think he couldn't do it. But rather, I knew he could and would. So I prayed for him to be strengthened.

Sam eventually finished those pain making laps. Cramps/mushy legs and all. He got out of the pool. He jogged to the end!

Perhaps the Savior wanted me to get a taste of how He feels. He, who has run the path, biked the way, and has swam the course- He too knows He can't take our place. Getting through this earth's course has to be done physically ourselves... He cannot vicariously do it "for" us, but the Savior, knowing we can do it cheers us on and prays for us and not because He doesn't think we can't make it, but rather because He knows we can and we will. He is there to strengthen us in the hearing and in the doing.

I have been studying about Christ's words about the hearers and the doers of the word. It is one thing to hear, which lets face it, sometimes we don't want to "hear" want we need to hear. Whether commandments to keep, commitments to start, habits to break or actions to take--hearing is one thing. And the actual "doing" of what we hear/know is entirely a whole other thing.

Right before the Sermon on the Mount - the Savior "...went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him" Matt 5:1. The account then goes into Christ's beautiful teachings. Luke's account before the sermon on the Mount gives some more to chew on...

Luke, 6:12-13, 17.
"... he went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.

And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples...
...
And he came down with them, and stood in the plain, and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people... came to hear him, and to be healed of their diseases"

Christ went up into a mountain. He prayed all night long. He called his disciples to him. They heard and doing, must have gone because it says "he came down with them and stood in the plain" (emphasis added.)

Perhaps, when we decide to follow Christ, to give up our wills, not not only be a hearer, but a doer of whatever is required... When He calls--we make the journey to "higher" ground. We make covenants, in the temple, we commit to give up our very natural man. Surely being on top of the mountain with the Savior was a choice experience. He had just been praying all through the night. How the atmosphere must have been! But then, seeing others who have not yet climbed the mountain, but have at least trecked to a plain--we go to the plain where they are at. To be tools for God, agents to help them be made whole. But we don't do that work alone, for Christ, goes "down with [us]".

Everyone must start somewhere. To hear the word--just opening up their scriptures, saying a prayer, or checking out church. They "come" to a plain. They still had to make the treck that far. How merciful that God lets us start in the "plains" of our commitment to Him. He doesn't make us go to the top of the mountain in order to be healed! He meets us on the plains of life! He condescends to be with us. And why? Greater love hath no man then this!

How beautiful to experience what we do in the house of God, and then, come down to the "plains" of mortality and walk with others hand in hand as we ascend back to our Maker together! Christ allows us the taste of sweet heights, but expects us, endowed with those heights/covenants to walk the plains with others and help them come to the mountain's top!

...He can't swim the course for us, but He who has swam the course before, reassures us we can and will do it!

There are lots of thoughts that go with this--but for another time.

Thanks Sam for your determination and for finishing the course! I have new admiration for Ali and Meg and all those who do triathlons for "the fun of it". I still think you are all crazy, but what you accomplish and don't quit in the process-- is amazing!

HE LIVES

From President Eyring's April 2011 Conference talk--I have often pondered about his challenge:

"To commemorate the 75th anniversary of the church welfare program, members world wide will be invited to participate in a day of service. Leaders and members will seek revelation as they design whatever the projects will be."

Ever since his invite, which was echoed by several other speakers in general conference, I have pondered over what it is that I can do as my day of service? I plan to do something with my whole family, my ward, but also for me personally... But what?! Clean up, blankets, hygiene kits? I love that President Eyring asked that one seek revelation as to what the project will be.

I have given it much thought, and a great deal of prayer. An idea came to me--and after what happened to me on Sunday, I am for sure going to do my personal day (more like a month) of service = I have felt to memorize "The Living Christ"(click here). Anyone want to join me?! I know lots of folks memorized it on their mission, but I however did not.
I don't like to travel on Sunday's and try to avoid it at all costs. However this last weekend I felt I needed to be back for Sunday, so I booked the earliest flight out of AZ I could find. Just last week, I found out that one of my greatest heroes=Bishop Larson, was being released from being the Bishop in his ward. This past Sunday would be his last time as Bishop. I smiled and thanked God for allowing me to fly back in time to support a man that has influenced my life a great deal.

As I sat in the airport at 6:30am I pulled out my ensign and had a great read. The woman across from me made the comment about how early it was. She put her pack down and went to sleep. When she awoke, she looked over at me (by this time I had my scriptures out) and she asked if I had been reading the Ensign. I said that I had and she asked if she could borrow the magazine. The magazine was passed over and I had the thought that we would be sitting with each other on the plane.

Meet Becki!
Turns out Becki is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She never felt she worked for her testimony when she was little, she just went through the motions of church because that is what her family wanted.

Becki got into some heavy core drugs a few years back. Salt Lake was her "hub" for the drugs- so she moved to AZ to get away from the temptations and to clean up her life. She has been clean for five years now!

Not knowing what she believed she started meeting with the missionaries to find out about the church. What an amazing story she has!

On Saturday, Becki became filled with thoughts of how to get drugs whens she got back to Salt Lake City. Her thoughts consumed her. She told me that you would think it would be easy after five years of being clean, but how overpowering the thoughts were. Becki said that if she were to do it just one time, give in to drugs one time, she knew from past experiences she would be hooked and completely out of control.

What to do?! The thoughts were frightening. The only thing she could think to do was to call the missionaries over. They came over and gave her a blessing and she received the promise that she would have strength while in Utah. Becki then told me that when she woke up from being asleep while waiting for the plane, the thoughts of how easily she could get the drugs flooded her mind yet again and she silently prayed for help. She remembered the magazine I had, thought it might be an Ensign and asked if she could borrow it. (I have to smile at this because--before this month, other than the Conference edition of the ensign, I haven't/don't carry an Ensign and never did I read one. I always listened to the whole audio magazine when exercising, but reading from the actual pages, hasn't happened before this month. But I had the impression that I needed to start reading an article before I open my scriptures every day, so starting with the July Ensign, I have done just that and where ever I go, the magazine goes with me. Amazing that God can use even our newest habits--and is it too far fetched to think that perhaps God sent the prompting so that I could have an ensign with me in the airport?! I think not!:) )

We talked about the gospel on the plane. Becki had lots of sincere questions. She has a roommate that does not believe in Jesus Christ and it was obvious that this roommate has influenced Becki's thinking for she brought up how she didn't think she could believe in Jesus Christ. She believes that God, our Father, lives, but the idea of Jesus Christ seemed a little "out there".

Becki has been back to church a few times. I asked her if she had prayed over anything and had received an answer. She smiled and said that she had received an answer on tithing! Which was interesting on anything to be asking about/checking out first... she didn't pray about Jesus Christ, or other basics, but she did on tithing!

Becki said that she had received $300 as a grant from the collage in AZ. When she received the money she was excited as it was "free money" and at the time she really needed money. She pondered whether she should pay tithing over this money that she technically didn't earn. She was not even finished asking the question when she heard the words come to her mind, "Loosen thy purse strings." She said, "I don't speak that way, nor have I ever spoken with someone who says that type of thing." Becki knew that it was an answer from God to pay her tithing on the grant money she had been given.

She obeyed the impression and she told me that whenever things are tight and she is tempted to keep the money, those words of loosening her purse strings, come back to her mind and she does pay her tithing. (Side note: Sam shared a beauitful thought from institute last week. The teacher pointed out that we are not paying back/giving the Lord "10%" but rather the Lord is giving us/allowing us to have "90%". Money is not ours, our bodies are not our own, the only thing really that is our own and doesn't already belong to God is our will. I loved this beautiful reminder from Sam's institute teacher!)

The plane ended and Becki and I were both surprised at how fast the trip went. We walked down to the baggage claim and I was able to meet her devoted and supportive husband. Becki wants to be sealed in the temple and is trying to find out what the faith of her family was/is. We made a pack that she would let me know when she had her sealing date. We hugged and she walked off with her husband and I headed off to the parking lot.

Talk about an amazing experience. Had God sent me home to see Bishop Larson, yes I think, but I also think he had greater plans from the beginning! I did miss an opportunity though. I shared with Becki about who Jesus Christ is. What he has done and because of who He is, what that personally means for her, for me, for the whole world--but looking back on the conversation--I taught of him, but I don't think I officially testified that I know that Jesus is the Christ. Someone listening to the conversion would have gathered that I think, but what a lesson for me... a missed opportunity. Don't worry, it is not the end of the world. I am saddened by the realization of what I didn't do, but am thankful for the peace and determination to not pass an opportunity like that again. For I completely know what it feels like to wonder if God and Jesus Christ live. I know what it is like to pray often and plead from my soul to know if they are there. I know the hope and desire to finding out, but I also know the frustration and sometimes despair not knowing seemed to leave me feeling. But oh how sweet the truth is...

I KNOW that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior of all mankind, MY Savior. I know that He has all wisdom and power... that through him and because of him, the grave has no power over life. I, we, can become perfect through our perfect Redeemer! Redeemed from a fallen state, redeemed for sins and habits that bind. We can become whole and cleansed, sanctified. Holy, without spot! How? All through Jesus Christ!

So--President's Eyrings challenge of what service one can offer...? Mine "personal" do something for the 75th year of welfare challenge is to memorize "The Living Christ"! And I hope by doing so, I can better let my light so shine. That others feeling alone/in darkness can too--come to KNOW--as I have, that Jesus IS the Christ!

The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles

"The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles," The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles, (2000)

As we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ two millennia ago, we offer our testimony of the reality of His matchless life and the infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice. None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth.

He was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New. Under the direction of His Father, He was the creator of the earth. “All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). Though sinless, He was baptized to fulfill all righteousness. He “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38), yet was despised for it. His gospel was a message of peace and goodwill. He entreated all to follow His example. He walked the roads of Palestine, healing the sick, causing the blind to see, and raising the dead. He taught the truths of eternity, the reality of our premortal existence, the purpose of our life on earth, and the potential for the sons and daughters of God in the life to come.

He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.

We solemnly testify that His life, which is central to all human history, neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary. He was the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Redeemer of the world.

He rose from the grave to “become the firstfruits of them that slept” (1 Corinthians 15:20). As Risen Lord, He visited among those He had loved in life. He also ministered among His “other sheep” (John 10:16) in ancient America. In the modern world, He and His Father appeared to the boy Joseph Smith, ushering in the long-promised “dispensation of the fulness of times” (Ephesians 1:10).

Of the Living Christ, the Prophet Joseph wrote: “His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah, saying:

“I am the first and the last; I am he who liveth, I am he who was slain; I am your advocate with the Father” (D&C 110:3–4).

Of Him the Prophet also declared: “And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!

“For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—

“That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:22–24).

We declare in words of solemnity that His priesthood and His Church have been restored upon the earth—“built upon the foundation of … apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone” (Ephesians 2:20).

We testify that He will someday return to earth. “And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together” (Isaiah 40:5). He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires of our hearts.

We bear testimony, as His duly ordained Apostles—that Jesus is the Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who stands today on the right hand of His Father. He is the light, the life, and the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.
signatures signatures of the twelve

© 2000 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America.

...made for ME!

Probably just some random thoughts, but good ones! At least I think!


This evening I was studying in the gospels about the Savior's teachings on the Sabbath day observance. His teachings are brought up because the disciples picked some corn from a field and ate it on the Sabbath day. And the Pharisees, being letter of the law and oral law keepers, asked how this could be done on the sabbath day. Christ in Matthew, Mark and Luke shares some insights about what is lawful to do on the Sabbath day. Great counsel! (Matt 12:1-14, Mark 2:23-28 3:1-6, Luke 6:1-5)

Mark 2:27: "And he said unto them, The sabbath was made for man, and not man for the sabbath:" And the Joseph Smith Translation on that adds that "...the Sabbath was given unto man for a day of rest; and also that man should glorify God... For the Son of Man made the Sabbath day, therefore the Son of Man is Lord also of the Sabbath."

As I was pondering and trying to get my head around the significance of why the Sabbath day was made for man, not man for the sabbath-- the idea came that BECAUSE Christ is the Lord of the Sabbath day--for He made it for man, my mind naturally took out "Sabbath" and replaced it with Christ--to read:

Christ was made for man, and not man for Christ. (!!!)

What a beautiful, simple, but deep truth. Christ was "given unto man for...rest" and also [given] that man should glorify God. And He truly does that doesn't He?!

We came into being because of the fall, separated spiritually and physically from our Father in Heaven. We needed/NEED a Christ! He was "made" for us. He can give us rest and because of Him we should and CAN glorify God.

On this occasion, the Savior enters into a Synagog and finds a man there with a withered hand. The Pharisees "watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath (Mark 3:2). It was not a question for the Pharisees of whether He could heal or not--it was a question of whether He would (!) on the Sabbath day and thus by healing on the Sabbath day they could "accuse him". What a lesson/example taught by the Pharisees! No doubting here! Although their motives were all wrong, they knew the Savior could heal--there was no question of IF he could.

Christ asks the man with the withered hand to stand. Now I was not that man, but what if that withered hand represents a weakness, a sin, something I am trying to overcome? The Savior asks me to stand--obviously folks are watching, and perhaps this man is not ashamed of his withered hand, but maybe it is something he would like to keep hidden and at least not let everyone focus on. The Savior has a dialect towards the Pharisees after he has asked this man to stand. How long did the man have to stand--center of attention, eyes? But finally the Savior asks him to stretch forth his hand. Was this hard for him to do? Did the withered hand hold a position that stretching it would have been painful? Nevertheless "he stretched it out". [Now his weakness was exposed, no hiding in the shadows, all eyes and attention must have been on him]--- "...and his hand was restored whole"(Mark 3:3,5).

I praise this man, that with a withered hand [weaknesses, struggles, sins] he was where he needed to be on the sabbath day--the synagog! Just think had he decided to not go to the "church" that day?! He would have missed not only being with the Savior but being made "whole"! What courage it took. He was in the right place, where the Lord could bless him. And surely there were hearts and testimonies strengthened/learning that took place, faith built and hope given to others in the synagog who watched the Savior make someone's "withered-ness" WHOLE!! Where any of them (obviously not the Pharisees who shortly after the miracle too up counsel on how they might "destroy [Christ]" ) thinking, "His withered-ness was made whole! Perhaps my withered-ness can be made whole too?...! My eyes that are withered from the things they view in private, or my ears that have withered from the things I listen to/or allowed to be said, my foot that is withered when it comes to service- or my mouth that is withered and will not open up and share the the gospel, or my heart is withered because someone's withered-ness was used to abuse my wholeness... He was made whole. Perhaps I can be too. ? !!"

HOPE BUILT!

There are so many other things my mind pulls from this story, but with the Savior being "made" for us-- to give us rest, to give great reason to glorify God for his goodness... to make us whole! And oh how He can! We may be asked to stand or do something we would prefer not doing, a calling, an assignment, following through on an impression. Asked to "stretch" forth out of our comfort zone or the way we have made our life to be... And after we are asked to do that thing, we may have to "stand for a while"t, but the Savior who was made for us, knows how to make us whole! He knows how to give us rest! He knows how to make our hearts to rejoice and give Glory to God, because of God's great kindness in providing "making" a Savior for us! It is not a question of whether He can. He will! His timing, His way--in accordance with what the Father's will is.

"Stretch forth thine hand. And [she] stretched it out: and [her] hand was restored whole as the other." (!)

BE OF GOOD CHEER

I have since seen this scripture talked about a lot. Even an article in the Ensign was centered around these verses. Back in Oct, I was attending a baptism of a new friend. The whole service was given in Spanish so a sweet friend translated in my ear so I could share in what was happening. It was during this baptismal service when I was given some direct revelation concerning someone I had recently opened my heart up to. The answer came, "Bryndi, you are not for him". I questioned the Lord letting him know, I thought this particular person and I would be quite good together, after all it has been over three years since I opened my heart up to anyone. Didn't it seem fitting that someone who could actually open my heart-- be a keeper?! Didn’t this kid and I share the same goals and values? Didn’t he and I love the gospel and could talk for long periods of time on the scriptures and the sacred things in life!? I made quite certain that the Lord knew all my reasons for why His revelation was wrong. (Note: This is quite dumb! Don’t follow my example. Our Father in heaven knows everything! His ways are not our ways, and His timing is usually not our timing, but HE knows best!!)

I was quite sad with this revelation. By the end of the weekend, my sadness turned into grumpiness. Thank goodness the Lord is patient with all of my weaknesses!!

I went to my institute class at the start of the next week and my teacher led the class to read a verse in D&C 78. I don’t know if I have ever fully read through D&C 78 before, but my curiosity got me and the next hour I found my self enwrapped in the verses found in this amazing section. When I came across verses 17-19 my eyes became wet and I had a hard time seeing the page.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;"

"And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours."

"And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.” (D&C 78:17-19)

Yea for Nephi telling us to liken all scriptures unto ourselves! :)

These verses spoke to me. I heard that I was a little child and I could not understand how great blessings Heavenly Father has with his own hands prepared/ing for me. I am to be of good cheer because the Savior will lead me along. And then I got to verse 19. I, Bryndi, needed/need to be thankful for all things. That means be thankful even for this guy I know was divinely brought into my life… and although he and I won’t be hooking up.. I am still to be thankful for him.

I left the library that day filled with amazing peace. I held my head a little higher as I walked to class. Heavenly Father is amazing at bringing answers through the scriptures! And I am of good cheer, for I know who is leading me along!

BE THE MEANS

This morning as I was reading in 3 Nep Chapter 18, I was impressed by verse 32:

"Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them. "


The Savior is talking to he 12 disciples he choose on this side of the world. In the previous verses he has taught the importance of prayer and that we all need to pray to our Father in the name of Jesus Christ.

He then talks about not letting anyone partake of the sacrement unworthily. Verse 32 follows right after this backdrop.

He tells us to not turn away people who have struggles/need help, but minister unto them for [we] "... know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto [the Savior] with full purpose of heart, and [he] shall heal them... (vs 32)". The Savior tells us that WE can be the means of bringing salvation unto those individuals. The definition of mean: an agency, instrument, or method used to attain an end. What a beautiful commandment! To be a means!

As you will soon come to find out, I am a freak when it comes to little thoughts from the scriptures. I have to come up with a sign to hang on my wall that reminds me of what I just learned. I normally just choose a nature shot, but today I found this picture of my uncle Paul. Anyone who knows my uncle Paul knows that he is one of the most giving/kind/service oriented man to walk our time. I happened to be over at his house late and he insisted that I not leave empty handed. The beautiful bucket of aprocots he is holding, was put in my car along with squash, tomatoes for my dad, and other wonders from his garden. I can not tell you how many different loads of food have filled that metal bucket. I can not tell you how many houses that bucket has traveled to! Paul never thinks twice to serve. When he is compelled to go a mile--he goes five! My food storage consists of bottled items coming from he and his loving wife Becky. The are, "Being the Means" to bless all those who come in contact with them. -- Oh how I want to be a means like they are!

I also love that the Savior tells us that those that do repent, and come with full purpose of heart--he SHALL heal them. How true is this for all of us. The Savior is the Master of all Healing!