MAFIA, KIDNEY STONE, and HE KNEW_ Lessons Not Lost

Time seems to slip away quickly, and although I have had MANY things I would have loved to blog about, other priorities have taken over and writing has been put on the back burner. But today my heart is full and I just need to share some of the things the Lord has given me to see/experience/hear.

MAFIA FOR GOOD
     The other day a sweet woman contacted Mr. Dashing to see if she could get a blessing set up for her daughter who was going into surgery the next day. We both made some calls to find another priesthood holder to help. Mr. Dashing dressed in his suit (as I knew he would) and with me attending and wanting to show respect for the priesthood blessing, dressed in a dress.
     We stopped by the home of another priesthood brother who has a pretty awesome story about his journey/becoming active in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He came to the car--and I worried that he might feel bad because of how we were dressed. After some time in the car he asked Mr. Dashing if he had just gotten off work or just liked to be in a suit. The answer came that Mr. Dashing tried to dress in a white shirt and tie when administrating in the priesthood whenever possible. That was new news to this brother and he said he had never heard of it. But the conversation was left at that.
     We went into the home and after some good conversation, these two priesthood brethren laid their hands on the 30 year old's head and gave her a blessing of strength, peace and comfort for the next day surgery.
     After the blessing was given, this good brother, Ed, placed his hands on the shoulders of the young woman and testified to her about the blessing of receiving a blessing before surgery. He showed his scars on his head from a brain surgery and this good sweet man testified that he knew that no matter what happened the next day--he knew Jesus would be with her.  I was touched by his powerful, simple testifying of what he knew to be true. The words out of this rough and tough pictures up and down the arms, large man--touched me.
     We drove home with the spirit and asked Ed some different questions. He said that he had recently gone through the temple and that there was no turning back now. That He, then he proceeded to jab Mr. Dashing and then pointed back to me-- that we ALL were now solders for God because we had all been through the temple. That no matter what our priesthood holders said/asked, ours was to follow and serve. I smiled as I listened to his love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I thanked Heavenly Father for a man that was so willing and worthy to use the priesthood of God at a moments notice.
     Moments before arriving at his home Ed said, "I love the gospel! It is like being in the Mafia for GOOD!" He then explained in the mafia (I didn't ask him how he was so attached to the Mafia-- :) maybe a story for another day) you might get a call to do something needed at 2 am--and you just go and do it. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints-- whenever you get a call to do good (this day it was at 6:30 at night) you just go and do it! I smiled with his die heart conviction to the gospel of Jesus Christ and his commitment to be a solider for God.
     Ed got out of the car and as he went to shut the door he said the next time he would be dressed appropriately and have a shirt and tie on. He said it was the first he had heard of it, but he said he would do the same. We later heard that he chatted with bishop in asking him if one should wear a shirt and tie for administering a blessing. Bishop mentioned that whenever possible--that dressing for the priesthood was best. Ed then told Bishop he would do it. ...:) Oh this man who is in the Mafia for GOOD! ;) Warmed my heart and left me praising God. Great example to both Mr. Dashing and myself.

KIDNEY STONE

Elder and Sister Cloward - Joberg Africa

     I was chatting with my dad and mom the other day over facetime. Amen for the internet FINALLY in their African home! Makes communicating without glitches--so much nicer!
     I asked how their fast Sunday had been to which Dad replied, great and horrible. They had the missionaries over for dinner, but dad had become very uneasy with a sharp pain attacking him. A kidney stone! He did his best to be a host with much pacing. A few times he laid on his stomach and had my mom knee his back to help move the kidney stone along. Sometimes she was successful which resulted in 30 mins of rest/sleep--but followed by intense pain, pacing the floors, mopping and doing anything else to keep his mind distracted. I have had my own kidney stone before so I knew in general what my dad was going through.
     But the miracle of this agonizing moment was an aw-ha given to him through the spirit. See, early that morning as he and my mom were fasting for all of us in the family--my dad had been pondering over the sacrament prayers.
     As Latter-Day Saints, each Sunday we partake of bread that has been broken and blessed which represents Christ's body and also we partake of water that represents the blood he shed for each of us. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--when we are baptized, we promise to take upon us Jesus Christ's name (that is--try to do as He would do/live/be). We covenant to serve and love others, to keep His commandments, to mourn with those who mourn, comfort/support/care for those in need. We also are baptized because even Christ (our sinless brother) was baptized to fulfill all righteousness/follow what was asked by Heavenly Father.
     Our baptism is a symbol/outward expression of our inner commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ. We believe that one must be baptized by someone who holds the priesthood authority (authority to act in God's name) to preform the sacred ordinance. When we are baptized, it is symbolic of putting away our old life, of whatever it was/is, and being "born again"-- to God. That means committing to keep and live His commandments. In doing so, we believe we receive a remission of our sins. That through the atonement of Christ, we are cleansed and clean- without any spot.
     After we are baptized we are confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And with that confirmation (again only done by those who have authority given them by God to do the ordinance of laying their hands upon our head) we are told to "receive the Holy Ghost".
     We believe by living/striving to repent each day and trying to keep the commandments we can have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost--the third member of the Godhead--whose job is to testify of truth, of Jesus Christ, and of Heavenly Father. Also he leads us and comforts us. Okay... back to the sacrament.
     If baptism in part is for a remission for our sins--and each of us sin every day because we are not perfect--then logically we should just stay in a baptismal font and NEVER get out because we would need to be baptized all the time! Right?! No, we are not to live in a font. But why it is so important to a Latter-Day Saint to attend church every week-- is that is where we partake of the sacrament, the bread and water representing Christ's body and blood that was shed for us-- and through that partaking of those emblems, we renew our baptismal covenants.
     So IF we partake the bread and water with a repentant heart, and we seek to be better and strive again to live as God would have us live--it is as IF we are being "baptized" each Sunday--we start our week fresh and clean, un spotted-- and ready to "KEEP TRYING/STRIVING" to do what we have promised God we would do.
     That is just a little back ground--- so back to my dad, he was pondering over the broken bread which is in similitude (represents) Christ's body that was broken and bruised for each of us. As my dad pondered about it--he said he just didn't get it. That perhaps there was something more "deep" then the bread physically representing all Christ gave us with his physical life/living. During the administration of the sacrament my dad asked God to help him better understand the broken bread.
    Well--that night, prayer answered! For after he had suffered through the attacks of the kidney stone, he felt that the attack was in direct answer to his pleading to better understand the Savior's physical suffering. That He [Jesus Christ] truly has felt all of our heartache and sorrows as well as our physical agonies.
     My dad believed he was given that brief encounter with a kidney stone as a tender mercy into a request to better understand.

    My father's words got me thinking. He said mom already was "clued" into what the bread meant by what she has had to endure... but it was just coming to me. I pondered it all week and then the Lord gave me the Ryerse's talks...

HE KNEW--SO I HAD PEACE
     This past Sunday brought a talk by Brother and Sister Ryerse. The words have stuck with me--and moved me. Sister Ryerse said that growing up she had pretty bad kidneys and had to go into the hospital often for treatments. Finally at 11 years old they decided to try a surgery to help correct/fix whatever was wrong with her kidneys. It sounds like it was a pretty risky procedure. And even at 11 she could remember feeling great anxiety and fear over the surgery. But she was given a blessing and was reminded that the Savior had already felt all the pain she would be going through/have--He knew exactly what she was facing... and although she didn't know how the outcome would be, she went into the surgery as a 11 year old with peace knowing that the Savior had already felt/knew what she was going through. (*Miracle--the surgery was a great success !! and shortly after her surgery the medical world stopped preforming that type of surgery because what there had been too many fatal outcomes with the procedure. She had been protected and preserved.)
     Brother Ryerse talked about the struggles of dating Melanie (Sister Ryerse) because her mom was so set on that HE was not the right one for HER daughter. Apparently the mother in law caused many tears and heartache as Sister Ryerse had received revelation from God to move forward with brother Ryerse in marriage but her mother was not supporting/would not have it.
     Brother Ryerse then said he had a profound dream while they were dating that he was sitting with Melanie's mom and expressing all the reasons he loved her daughter but she would not have it. And the more questions she asked the more Brother Ryerse tried to answer them but was left short handed by being able to satisfy any of the accusations of the mother in law to be. At the end of the dream, Melanie's mom stated to Brother Ryerse that in time things would be okay. He held to that--- and although it sounds like quite a bit of a "hell" in their dating process and probably a bit into their marriage--over time (several years and 4 kids into the marriage) it has been okay.
     Both talks were BEAUTIFUL examples of faith and perseverance/trusting in God-- even with great odds.

SOOO why is this all touching? My dad's experience and Melanie's-- I have never written on here because there are so many of my friends who's timing for marriage and/or children have not come to fruit yet-- My time for marriage was at age 30, and a time for our first child is apparently at age 31--close to 32. Our little guy is due Sept 28th.
     I can't even express all the feelings and emotions I have gone through, that both Mr. Dashing and I have been through in the last 29 weeks, let alone the almost year of marriage.
      And the next two 1/2 months, no doubt, we will yet experience many more things in regards to being parents and raising our little one to God.
     I have been at times brought to my knees in pure fear for labor and delivery--as well of needing to wear the mother hat.
     After serving a mission in New Jersey, when I came home I found myself weeping every time I was around children. It was sometimes out of control and outright feeling of ridiculous. I longed to teach my own little ones about Jesus Christ and God's plan for them, that God hears and answer's prayers, that we lived with him before we came here to this earth, and this earth life, in big measure is learning to be obedient to the commandments of God so we can yet again, return and live with our Heavenly Father. These thoughts would consume me when I was around little children. Sooo MUCH that I had to prayed to have my heart locked from so many tender emotions. (Yeah, not sure if that was wise or not) but lock my heart He did because I finally STOPPED weeping when I was around children. YEA!
     Yes I wanted to be a mother, but because that did not seem to be in my current life plans--I moved on. I strived to do everything within my power to be God's tool as a single person. I don't say this for bragging or to be "seen" a certain way--I am just writing how I choose to deal with my dreams of wife and family not coming in my time table. I certainly didn't want to just do nothing because what "I thought was best" was not coming to past. So I choose to focus on what I could or what I felt God would have me do when the blessings I had sought for were not on the horizon for nearly 10 years....
    But here, now, with the reality growing inside of me (literally with kicks and jabs-our little man is surely going to be a great swimmer like his dad) and the truth that if it is God's will, we will have a little bundle in our arms in the not too distant future---the thought of labor, delivery, and motherhood IS such an awesome monster, or I should, HAS been a monster.
     I have taken comfort in knowing the world has been populated for thousands of years by women doing what just freaks me out to do, and in a large part they have succeeded. But what my fears were not allowing me to realize--came in my dad's and Mel's experiences... the realization/aw-ha that Jesus Christ has already felt what I have been through and will yet go through. That my situation, no matter how closely related to someone else's, Jesus Christ is the one who will know exactly what I am facing. And although I don't know outcomes or have any clue to the pains to be physically felt and emotional/mental ones that will come with the motherhood package--HE DOES. HE KNOWS! And in HIM knowing, my heart takes great peace in knowing there is no part of this journey He has not already walked/ is ready to re-walk with me...!
     Yes, I know I am slow on the bandwagon and these truths I have already realized in other areas of my life, but like reading a scripture for the 100th time and finding something completely new or just pressed to the mind in a different light--this aw-ha is amazing! And this week I am facing the future with a determined peace of mind and confidence....
     I am so grateful for where I live. For the people who have been placed on my path-- for all those who have already dived into motherhood that have been great examples.
  
     To all those who find that the dreams they have so long dreamed that have not come true--but they still are giving their all to God and trying to trust in His timing, how beautiful their examples are to me.

     I am not sure why Mr. Dashing was saved/prepared for me. Some days he is more celestial than I know what to do with. And I am not sure why we have been given this time to have a family--but I know that whatever path each of us are on, if we will trust in God (who has our best interest at the center of His entire existence) we will never have to face/do what we are asked to do--alone. For our exact path (whatever it is in life) has been walked by the Redeemer of all mankind. And if one chooses to have faith in Him, despite the unknowns, that someone truly can live in/with peace and hope, regardless of what the outcomes/happenings of their individual journeys may bring.

Today I am rejoicing in people who testify about being God's solider, in white shirts and ties with men willing and worthy to serve in/with the priesthood. I rejoice in beautiful examples given to me of the personal lives of others, which move me in the direction of faith--because of them living their faith!

Happiness is God placing a new piece into the puzzles before my eternal soul's journey. 

I am grateful for prayer, and repentance and the chance to become better than I am.

TRUSTING GOD

After all my revelation was: "Stay/can't go until the Condo sells" and "Trust your husband". With this revelation I stayed in Utah, while Mr. Dashing moved out to WY last Oct. A few weekends here and there--watching budgets with gas costs for the 10 hour round trip drives, and thank goodness for Thanksgiving in Nov and Christmas in Dec which allowed us to be together. Friends always asked me how "being" married was and I would tell them when I "was'' I would let them know!

Well for the first time since Aug 30th, I have just experienced my VERY first weekend where we have not been traveling or cleaning a condo but are actually living in the same state and under the same roof! Let me tell you, it is AWESOME!

This miracle of us even getting to live together started back in Nov when someone Mr. Dashing worked with suggested I turn in my resume to her place because they would be hiring. We knew we had some time but come the end of Dec/start of Jan I had some very strong impressions to get my resume in.

With the help of my patient and devoded Mr. Dashing and blessed Cindy's timely editing, my resume was in the start of Jan. A day later a job interview was set up and I found myself visiting Mr. Handsome in WY for the interview.

What if this job took?! What would I do with the condo? How would this all work?

The interview I felt went very well and a few weeks later was confirmed by the gal wanting to hire me that in fact she did want to hire me-she just had to "wait" some time to give me the job. Mr. Dashing and I felt to move forward with faith. Impressions were followed, emails back and forth to Africa, loving folks that decided to buy back the condo, a three week notice given to my job and moving boxes galore! All these things/a move to take place in about a three week window. When God's timing arrives--it arrives.

I had still not "heard' officially from the job but we were fairly confident all would work out.

The week of moving (mid Feb) to WY came and I was a bit of a mess. So much to do, working 4 10's and then coming home to try and get ready for the move. How would I be ready for when Mr. Dashing would come a few days prior to all the wonderful help set up? (By the way, he came out a day earlier than planned which was not only awesome but very inspire! Thanks babe! STILL was a GREAT and needed surprise.)

As the stress and worry (I sometimes allowed to) weigh on my heart, the Tuesday of the week I was moving I was awoken with the scripture from Proverbs in my head. 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."  

I had never really tried to memorize this scripture before, but my mind knew all the words. And for a straight hour, this scripture played and replayed in my mind in a very vivid way. I saw words, and me "leaning" to my own ways but then seeing myself "lean" on the word LORD and TRUST. It was very vivid...

By the time I hit the shower just after 6 a.m. I verbally made the comment, "Okay Lord, I get that thou wants me to TRUST thee." Because of the stress with the move that weekend and me not knowing how we were going to move all of our stuff, I figured God wanted me to trust that it would all work out. So of to work I went, with trust in my heart.

So imagine I am at work and about 3:10 I find that I missed a phone call. I go into a back room and who is it? The employer I had interviewed with, that practically told me I had the job, had just left a message that there had been budget cuts and they no longer would be hiring anyone. The gal wished me good luck with my endevors and that was that.

"Ohhhh, I get it! Heavenly Father, this morning with the scripture--that was to prepared me for this!" Normally I would have fallen to my knees crying in dispair. I did fall to my knees and tears did roll down my cheeks but they were tears of gratitude. God KNEW that I wasn't going to get that job that would secure having insurance. But He also KNEW that that job was the tool to start the motion of getting the condo sold and making a way/providing the means for me to move and actually work on the wife and marriage catigories under the same roof as Mr. Dashing. The urgant prompting to put in my resume, to the almost too good to be true interview, to the acknowledgment that it was a "done deal" with the hire--- all HIS tools to make a way for me to move at the timing He had in plan. The tears were simply gratitude that He had given me the morning I had had with the reminder that I was to trust in Him.

I left that room with a peace and a calm that I know, can only come from God. 

So coming up close to a month, I am actually getting to work on the whole "wife" and "marriage"roles in the same location and house as Mr. Dashing! Still no job on the horizon yet, but we are trusting in God. His timings and ways may not be our own, but He knows better than we do. And we know in whom we trust!

To all those who helped with our packing, cleaning, and loading--- BLESS YOU! In so many ways God litterally sent earthly angels when I was in need of some help. I am a big "time" succor. And because I value time and what I do with my own, when others offer theirs for and in behalf of MY needs, I don't know if there is a sweeter, more kind gift that can be given. Or a gift that causes my eyes to leek so easily. For all the prayers and well wishes to get Mr. Dashing and I together--THANK YOU! Thank you!

And a note to all my friends at my past job for nearly nine years--Heritage Makers. I truly have been spoiled to be surrounded by great examples. My co-workers were/are of the highest caliber of integrity and honesty, of love and devotion, service and unity. I know that I was given an "ideal" to work in. When being interviewed I was asked what I didn't like about my current work situation. I paused for a very long time not knowing what to say and finally said that I wished the kitchen sink was larger. Yes the gals interviwing me had a chuckle with this, but they just simply did not know the type of people "BLESSINGS" God has allowed me to work with. And not just the folks I worked with, but their spouses and family not in the work arena... individuals who Love and reverence God and one another too. I have had nine years of training on how to be a better person and what it is to give more of "self".

To my team and fellow co-workers from HM-- I LOVE YOU, more than I know how to express! Thank you for coming/being in my life.

So we are trusting God. What will be our next adventures? Only God fully knows, but as Mr. Dashing always reminds me, "It will all work out."  Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. (Thank goodness too!)

Happiness is knowing God is in the Details. Even if you don't have a clue what they include. 

I am grateful to a husband who is patient and kindly loving as I try to figure out this wife and marriage thing. :) 

Love you babe!

HELLO WYOMING!

HE WILL TAKE CARE OF OUR TOMORROWS--trust/have faith in Him, TODAY.

I read this article today (click here) on a man's journey with same-sex attraction and how He exercised faith/trust in God and faith/trust in keeping the commandments, regardless of temptations. His courage to share as he calls "witness", moved me.

He shared: 

"In this area and so much of my life, I feel I’ve had to live the principle President Boyd K. Packer taught of going to “the edge of the light and [stepping] into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two” (That All May Be Edified (1982), 340). We have to put Him first today, taking the necessary steps of faith today, and simply trust Him to take care of tomorrow. It’s only been through my learning and living that principle that the Lord has slowly been revealing to me His plan for my life."
    --Ty Mansfield

How this rings true with what I need to do with my own trials. Put God first today, excising faith today and trusting that He will take care of my tomorrow. Ty's story/experiences gives my own Gethsemane hope!! (And no, I do not deal with same-sex attraction. But everyone one has something(s) that is(are) thorn(s) of the flesh, and Ty's words can be applied to ANY thorn!)

So my new quote for the back of my phone cover!

 

FIGHT 2 THE FINISH
I have a friend, Heidi Arave, who has shared with me the journey of her friends as their son has been battling liver cancer. This sweet family lost their son Sunday... and the blog post by the mom on Sunday is not only inspiring, but a beautiful testimony/reminder of Heavenly Father's ultimate plan of happiness.

This is what the mother posted the day her son passed:

Tyler returned home early this morning to his loving Father in Heaven after courageously battling liver cancer.  He fought valiantly to stay here and we are relieved that he is not trapped in his diseased body any longer.  We know he is free of pain of suffering and is happy to begin his new work in heaven.

As I was laying there last night watching Tyler struggle to leave, or to stay, I’m not sure which he was fighting for, I remembered a quote that my friend Ashley posted when her sweet Preslee passed away.  I knew there was one thing we had not completely given to Heavenly Father – our will.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell rightly said: “The
submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we
have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we ‘give’ … are
actually the things He has already given or loaned to us.”

Tyler was never ours to keep here.  He was a gift to our family to bless us for a short time.  As soon as Darren and I let Heavenly Father know we had accepted His will and it was okay for Tyler to go, he was finally able to have peace.  We know the promise of peace is ours because of the Savior’s gift to us and that we will someday be reunited with our sweet boy and see his amazing smile when he greets us.

We are overwhelmed with the love we feel from friends, family, and community.  Please know that our family has accepted the plan for Tyler, and although our hearts are broken and the pain is more than we can explain, Heavenly Father has sent the Comforter to help us get through this.  Tyler, we love you with all our hearts.  Thanks for teaching so many what it really means to “Fight To The Finish”.  (Click here to read the blog.)

My prayers are going up for Tyler's family. What examples of Christ!

God bless the GREAT, Plan of Happiness! He will make a way for us. Help us fulfill the measure of our creation. God bless those who live their life in courage despite great odds. God's children, are awesome! I stand all amazed.

BECAUSE, I LOVE JESUS

This morning was beautiful as I rushed out the door to make it in time for Ali's third little girl--Rachel's baby blessing. Meadow was having her own bundle of joy blessed this morning and I wish I could have been in two places at once! With both blessings being at the same time but an hour in distance apart from one another I prayed where God would have me be. I was to go to Orem. Not only was the blessing wonderful, and my life is always better when Ali is in it--but I was to hear the testimonies given in Ali's ward. :) God is so perfect with his timing. And AMEN to wearing waterproof mascara on my bottom lashes. Seriously, who ever came up with that stuff was BRILLIANT! :)

The testimonies shared were beautiful.

One man shared how simply partaking of sacrament, that little sip of the water each week is refreshing. And how when each of us turn to the Living Waters (Jesus Christ) and just take a sip of His teachings/His words, our life is refreshed.

How true this has been for me! The past two weeks the sky has dumped, poured and even at times drenched the earth. And the only thought I seem to have while I am watching everything get soaked/or shortly after it has been soaked is the fact how much better/more beauitful the world looks after it has been wet. All the colors are more vibrant, even the brown on the mountains is more rich. More alive. Water makes the details stand out. How true like the simple sip of the sacrament is refreshing, a simple sip, a taste of the Savior in our life whether drenching style or starting out with a small drizzle... ones life that is "touched" with the Savior's water is all the more better. That life is all the more bright and brilliant. LIVING WATER MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!

I was also touched by a sister who said she and her husband had a busy Sat. They woke up earlier than they would have liked to get up for a Sat. As they hurried around, her husband was getting ready to go with the young men or scouts on a hike. It had just snowed and the land was covered in it. This woman watched her husband bundled up in his coat go out to the car. She noticed how he didn't seem too excited to be going on the hike. She wished him good luck. To which he responded, "I do it because I love Jesus." She was deeply impressed with his statement. She went back inside and worked on a part of her calling that she wasn't ever thrilled to work on, but her attitude was a little different as she reflected why she did it--because she too loved Jesus.

I was touched by this story. Sometimes we are asked to do things that we just don't want to do or care to do--but why do we do/should we do it regardless of our own wants/desires... BECAUSE WE LOVE JESUS. Loved it!

There were other stories born about God's miraculous wisdom and power. One sister was impressed she needed to fly south to find some of her ancestor's graves. She was led to meet a woman who knew exactly where the little, in the woods, cemetery was- three miles off the main road on a gravel road. This woman went and took pictures at the grave side. One week later- this last week the tornadoes hit, and that little cemetery is completely gone now. She had just been led there the previous week! God is amazing.

I am convinced that Heavenly Father also wanted me to hear about a sister who said that she was living the impossible. She had a husband, children and they cherished her. I needed to hear that.

Being with Ali, always choice. I love that girl. In so many ways.

I don't talk about it--but Ali's first daughter is named Bryndi. I don't know if there is a higher complement then someone YOU look up to chooses to name their daughter after you. I don't mention this for any praise to me for surely I would never want to disappoint or give this little girl a reason to not want to live up/like the person's who's name she bares, and truly this little girl will make her own mark and her name is completely hers. But I shared with Ali's grandmother in detail why when Ali was pregnant I never asked Ali what her baby's name was going to be. See--Ali and I in one of the first RS activities we ever had together played this awesome game with a ball of yarn being thrown around in a circle symbolic of being tied together and unity. Then the other part of the activity was taking a paper and writing passing it around and letting others write you a personal note. On my paper, Ali had written that she liked my name and thought she would name her first daughter Bryndi. I never mentioned this to Ali--and when she became pregnant--years later (I had served a mission and had come home) I never wanted to ask her what she would name her daughter because 1.) I didn't want her to feel obligated that just because she stated that on a paper, she was "held" to that comment she had made so long before and 2.) I felt a little prideful/embarrassed that if she was choosing the name Bryndi, I didn't want to assume that it had anything to do with me as a person but rather just because she liked the sound of the name. (I have no idea why I am sharing all of this) So I just never talked to Ali about it. Truth is, if she did choose that name, and even if it was just because she liked that "name"... it was deeply not only flattering, but a lot to live up to.

Well the day of the baby shower came... and still I had never asked Ali. WHICH, mind you was silly, because Ali IS one of my heroes and I care about EVERYTHING in her life. And a first baby, and the name, is pretty much the topic of conversation.

It was there at the baby shower Ali shared with everyone that her little girl would be named Bryndi. Afterwords, I wept. And that sweet little girl has said to me in private out of the blue, "Know what?! I have your name." "Did you know I was named after you?". Deeply honored. Oh to have a name that that little girl would be proud to have/share. Ali, I should tell you to your face--it is a great honor to share names with your daughter. I pray and will strive to be/share a name that she won't regret being tied to. I love you Al.. A lot!

Tonight was history in the making as my ward and I attended the announcing of my area's new YSA stake. There were 30 stake president's before us, four quorums of the 70 and then walked in Elder Cook! I was sitting on the 2nd row, talk about blessing! It was deeply moving to see such a powerful display of the priesthood that was before me. The talks and testimonies each shared were choice. Here was Elder Cook. A special witness for Christ. One of 15 men in the whole world, was sitting/talking there 15 feet in front of me.

The spirit was present and I felt a desire to rescue. A theme ever present in my life but I have never really looked at it as a "rescue". The conference was choice. And with the preparation of Ali's ward I had some specific things God was telling me.

After the meeting everyone rushed to go shake pres cook's hand. I was standing around and when the crowds died down, I noticed that elder Gong was coming off the stands. No other YSA were around. I shook Elder Gong's hand and thanked him for the meeting. Then he caught me completely off guard when he asked me what was the one thing I got from the conference. I had taken several pages of notes, and been moved by the spirit and for a split sentence didn't know what I was going to say--when I caught myself saying, "That I can trust the Lord". The words spilled out, and almost felt not conscious/in control of what I was saying. He said that that was very interesting.

I left his hand shake a little stunned. I had not written anything about trust. nor had the many lessons God wanted me to hear that morning been connected with trust, but when asked by Elder Gong, that is what came out of my mouth. Guess, that I needed to hear it from my own mouth! :) And surely the Lord wanted me to hear that lesson.

In a hundred little small ways, it has been an amazing Sunday. Then again Sunday is my FAVORITE day of the week.
Just a sip of the Savior will refresh and immediately brighten our life. Even when our heart isn't in doing something/would long to do something else, we do it BECAUSE we love Jesus. When your life hero names their daughter with your same name, there is a huge honor, deep profound awh and a lot to live up to, and God wants us to trust Him! I WILL trust Him. I have been praying and fasting for a vision and to have faith in that vision. Today was the cap stone of what God want's me to envision for my life. For my future. I will/DO trust in Him!

A POPPED KNEE & A CUT ARM

Conference was amazing for me. As soon as I can get the actual notes I will have to share my thoughts. Saturday morning session was balm of gilead to my soul. Everything i have been pondering on and questioning seemed to be answered through those first two hours. And with a hundred little amazing things in between, President Monson capped off the whole conference by quoting Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

and then he finished the scripture saying that that has been the story of his life. I wept at his statement for it is so true for how I feel about my life, and I want it to continue to be true.

I knew that today was going to be a long day getting ready for Dream Team. Last week, while playing lazer tag I played maybe a little too aggressively and my knee that I had annoyed with some oversize exercise movements the week before decided that it hated lazer tag. By Thursday morning I was in some awesome discomfort with my knee and for the past 4 days I have been hobbling around.

This weekend with conference I felt it would give my knee the break it needed to heal right. But even yesterday as I knelt on the dance floor to take pictures of Brynnlee I sure paid for kneeling for the next several hours. This morning, knowing the amount of bending I would need to do in the bathrooms and up and down the stairs I agonized a little bit over the fact it will take yet another week after these few days to get my knee back healthy. The worst position is the kneeling position, for for whatever reason I am completely crippled for a long time after straightening my knee.

Well--knowing the week ahead of me, I pleaded, on my knees, this morning asking that the Lord to heal my knee so I could better serve my family and my work. My knee felt tons better. I noticed that it was not fully happy, but I didn't feel like crying.

Then, a miracle happened!

I was in the dance room with Dad working with the internet and the projector when I moved a certain way and heard, yes heard and felt a huge "POP" with my knee. It was so loud and I am not used to my body making popping noises in my knee area that I dared not move. I did let out a little yelp, not in pain but in horror of what that popping noise meant. Can I tell you what?! My knee is amazing!! I have knelt down several times since, I have been up and down stairs the rest of the day and although it is slightly tender, I am not acting like a cripple old woman anymore! It is a complete miracle! I have no idea what the "POP" was, but I am sure grateful for it!

ARM
Ya, so I don't do blood--during the meeting, I notice my mom come into the back of the room. She got my Dad's attention, and because I was "time keeper" I just went back to moving the consultants along. My dad came over to me and with concern asked me to go help my mom. I figured she needed help with the dishes, but when I got to the kitchen, she was not to be found and most of the mess was cleaned up.

I saw my mom coming out of the bathroom with an awesomely long cut on her arm. She very calmly asked me to help. Apparently something with the downstairs fire had attacked her arm (she still has no idea how she it) and it left a 3 inch cut across her fore arm. Because of the way the cut happened the wound was more long shallow than deep. I don't know if that makes sense.

She had been trying to wash out the cut. We grabbed the first aid kit and I kept telling myself I was okay--while verbally asking her if she was okay. The blood was coming out and got on my fingers and I had to tell myself if I were a "mom", I could not freak out on my children. My sweet mom just laughed and almost played with the blood coming out of the long wound. Not to be morbid, but just to put me at ease. I asked her if she was going to pass out, but when really it was me that was thinking I would hit the floor at any time.

She will be just fine yes, and yes I did survive but I could not help but praising heavenly father and thanking him for keeping my mom safe. Had her wound been more severe--she was in the basement and Dad and I with all the consultants were clear up on the 3rd floor in the dance room. We would have only known to go find her with a prompting. Not that God would have not prompted us, but as I looked at what could have been the different story with my mom's arm, I was deeply moved with gratitude to God.

I know we don't need/should not play the what if game, but I know and witnessed several miracles today! God is so kind.

He really is our loving father in heaven, who wants to bless us and help us. He is so willing.

A dear friend emailed me a letter that basically told her "honey" that she was not giving up on her dreams and her future. That although the road is difficult she would remain true to staying positive with whatever life brought and that she would continue in prayer and scripture study daily. The temptation to be complacent is a real one. To just give up because we can not see what the benefit is. But where is the faith practiced/exercise in a path that is completely clear of distractions/heart-ache/and disappointments? Like President Monson quoted so Proverbs--God will direct our paths - HE will! We just need to put our trust in Him and lean not to what our understanding is. He has the big picture--and we are just a brush stroke in His hands.

I just want to be a "truster" in Him!

Happy conference! The church is true. Small and simply things - just reading the Book of Mormon and praying consistently/daily brings happiness! One can't deny it! If you haven't tried or tasted of those blessing in a while, it is never too late to and the effects/harvest of such actions in your life are instantaneous! If we keep the commandments He does immediately prosper us Mosiah 2:24.

Well my battery is dead and early at Dream Team comes early! ;)

I sure do love God... a lot! Hope I can prove it/show it to Him daily.