It was been a week of great reflection.
I have had many many thoughts. I hope to do the subject matter justice here.
Mom and Dad went to Lake Powell this week to fish. I was very excited to have a chance to be with them and my Nephews. They have been preparing the boat for a week now, getting everything in order. As I planned on going, I felt I should pray about going--and the answer was to stay home. Now someone may just say that it is just fishing, and I get that, but I haven't had the chance to do a family outing in a while. However, I have recommitted to God that whatever he needs me to do in this life, I will do it. Even if that means sacrificing time I would have loved to be with my family. (This all of course is worth sacrificing outings with my family
IF I can live worthy to have them in the eternities.)
I know why I was to stay home.
Wed brought a lunch date with a friend that has decided to go back to the temple for the fist time in a year and 1/2! Oh I can't wait for our temple trip next week!
Wed night came with some inspired visiting teaching and hanging out with a dear friend. This friend and I laughed over our situation of being single. For we want to both hold out for a guy, that although he doesn't necessarily have to be "in" busy callings--but just the fact that he is worthy TO have a busy/away from the home calling--we laughed that although we long to be married, if we marry a man that the God uses in a busy calling, we will just be "single" (at home by ourselves) when we are married. But she and I both agreed, that that "single" life is worth holding out for. :)
Thursday brought someone who has not been praying to pray and kneel down for the first time in a long time. And then someone I love and have not seen for nearly 2 months opened her door and let me come in.
Today brought a shopping trip to DI for 3 hours with a mom to find church clothes for she and her sons. She has never owned a dress in her adult year life--and although I HATE shopping, I could have not been more pleased to search through clothes and shoes appropriate for church with her. My heart swelled at God's plan for his children. I smiled as I watched her squint because of bad eye sight, and knowing God has a plan to take care of her "glasses" needs too!
We called the bishop as she humbly asked if it was possible to get a TV stand so her old school big TV so it didn't have to balance on a 3 legged stool. The Bishop's immediate reply was, "sure no problem".
I have learned so much from this man of God. Just 2 weeks ago I was on an errand at Kmart for some markers for work and bumped into him. He testified to me about how we need to meet peoples needs and wants and by doing so through welfare, they will come to know /want to know their savior. This good Bishop was passionate with his desire to serve. He made the comment to me that he wished they would just release him from being the Bishop. Although it has been a 5 year calling, he just wants to be released so that he can do missionary work all the time.
I smiled at his passion and enthusiasm. It was completely contagious! And it is only now, 2 weeks later after being with this sweet single mom, that I am more fully realizing the truth of his statement. I loved my calling in RS--and surely did not think there could be a better calling. I was wrong! Although I loved my calling, and the women I had the opportunity to pray over and the priesthood men I was able to work with--I now have a calling that allows me to do the very thing that moves my soul. I love seeing Christ enter into people's lives! I love seeing someone build up faith enough to pray, or to go to church. Oh the wisdom of this Bishop who wishes he could be released just so he could work with the people/missionary work full time. I am living his dream right now. And this has become a more choice dream then I ever expected it to be!
My friend today asked me why there was so much confusion. Why there was so much oppression with different religions. She could not recall hearing the plan of happiness before... We had a discussion about prophets and how God does not leave us alone. Her desire to know what is right, were sincere. It was beautiful. I asked her if she knew about temples to which she replied she did not. I asked her if she had ever noticed the Provo temple or any temple before to which she replied she had not. I showed her a picture of the Provo temple, but she still could not recall ever seeing it before. I had taken a picture of the Florida Orlando Temple on my phone...
Her eyes lit up as I told her about how there was a way for her to have her children forever. As she looked at the picture of the temple, I felt the spirit and I knew she felt it too. There was a hope that filled her eyes that I have not seen there before. It was the look of someone who registers truth for the first time. It was beautiful!
How choice that god gives us choice! We get to choose to live the gospel or not to. We get to choose the level we allow God to bless our life. We get to choose whether to follow commandments or not to. He will never force us. That was Satan's plan.
I have been listening to Pres. Erying's, "Because He First Loved Us". Amazing. It is very good! He talks about "time". What we do with our time is huge. The fact that God has given us "time" in the last time. Why is that? We must figure out what to do with our time. He then talked about investing our time. So instead of just going to church because that is what we are suppose to do, we need to "invest" when we are there. To invest means to:
1.to put (money)[time] to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.
2.to use (money)[time], as in accumulating something: to invest large sums in books.
3.to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.), as for a purpose or to achieve something: He invested a lot of time in helping retarded children.
Stay home was the answer I got, so surely God had something for me to "invest" into. Whether I am investing in someone's potential, worth, my own salvation, mental-physical-spiritual health, friendships, hearts, homes--what am I investing my time in/with?! The question has stirred my soul all week. Staying late, or making a phone call that may take up more time, didn't feel so daunting. The lack of sleep or non time for myself seemed to melt away at the fact that I was investing my time into something or someone! The investment and hope of the results of that invenstment seemed to smooth away any selfish desires on my part. Even Brytt came over to my desk and made the comment about how when you are a young monther, you have about 5-7 years (depending on the age of your children) where you invest all your time, energy, resorses into your childs growth and development, because eventually one day that child will start school and will be off and not with you for the full day.
Again, the investment of a mother into her children!! Into her marriage, into her calling--into her relationship with God. Surely the time we invest in the scriptures, in personal prayer, in FHE, in serving those whom we love--! The Savior invested a lot of time into us! Real drops of blood for the investment payment.
I surely don't want his investment in me to be in vain.
I have committed to be better at investing my time. When I partake of the sacrament, I am going to invest in remembering HIM while the sacrament is going on.
INVEST - !
I will!
The church is true! God's plan becomes grater and grater! How merciful He is.
PS. If you are investing time to prayer today--you can add my home computer to your prayers! When I turn it on it stays at a grey screen. I did all the trouble shooting I could find to do--nothing. I should be freaking out because my whole life/pictures/projects are stored on that machine for the last 3 1/2 years. But strangely I am not freaked yet. But a prayer for Bryndi's home computer would not be rejected by me! ;)
THE CHURCH IS TRUE! :D
I just found this article from
JOHN H. GROBERG--amazing! It is about investing!
HOW TO DISCERN THE INFLUENCE OF THE SPIRIT
When You Have the Spirit When You Do Not Have the Spirit, or When Satan is Prompting You:
1. You feel happy and calm. You feel unhappy, depressed, confused, frustrated.
2. You feel full of light. You feel heavy, full of darkness.
3. Your mind is clear. Your mind is muddled.
4. Your bosom burns with love for the Lord and for others. You feel empty, hollow, cold inside.
5. You feel generous. You feel selfish, possessive, self-centered.
6. Nobody can offend you. Everything anyone does bothers you.
7. You are very forgiving and kind. You are always on the defensive.
8. You feel confident in what you do. You become discouraged easily.
9. You don't mind anyone seeing what you are doing. You become secretive, evasive.
10. You feel outgoing, anxious to be with others -- You want to be alone. You avoid others -- especially family members.especially family members.
11. You are glad when others succeed. You are envious of what others do and what they have.
12. You want to make others happy, even those opposed to you. You want to get even and show others up.
13. You bring out the best and say the best about others. You are critical of others, especially family members and those in authority.
14. You gladly and willingly perform Church work. You feel hesitant, unworthy, and unwilling to perform Church ordinances.
15. You feel like praying and reading the scriptures. You don't want to pray or read scriptures.
16. You wish you could keep all the Lord's commandments. You find the commandments of God and rules of the family bothersome, restricting, or senseless.
17. You feel you have control of your appetites and emotions: food and sleep in moderation, sexual restraint, recreation that is wholesome and moderate; you are calm and control your speech; you feel no anger.
You become a slave to your appetites; your emotions become passionate; over indulgence in food, sleep, sex, stimulating entertainment, loud music, strong anger, outspokenness all become part of your character.
18. You feel a deep desire to help others--usually in a way no one else will know about. You want to make sure all the help you give others is duly noted by them and the world.
19. You speak and think only good about others. You look for and find evil in others and broadcast it.
20. You feel sorrow when others have problems and sincerely desire to help them. You question others' motives and secretly delight in their problems, and say, "I'm glad I'm not that way."
You realize that your thoughts and your actions are open to God. You feel that what you do and think is only your business and no one else knows or cares.
I think that if we will listen to those types of spirits, we will have a clear understanding of when we're being guided by the Spirit of the Lord, by the Spirit of light and of truth, and when we're being guided by the spirit of the world. Investing in things that the spirit of the world guides us in creates uncertainty and will not pay off well. But investing in things that the Lord guides us in creates certainty and assurance and will pay off handsomely.
I plead with all of us, then, to invest our time in those things, in those areas, with those people, that the Spirit of the Lord prompts us to do.
AMEN!
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