MAFIA, KIDNEY STONE, and HE KNEW_ Lessons Not Lost

Time seems to slip away quickly, and although I have had MANY things I would have loved to blog about, other priorities have taken over and writing has been put on the back burner. But today my heart is full and I just need to share some of the things the Lord has given me to see/experience/hear.

MAFIA FOR GOOD
     The other day a sweet woman contacted Mr. Dashing to see if she could get a blessing set up for her daughter who was going into surgery the next day. We both made some calls to find another priesthood holder to help. Mr. Dashing dressed in his suit (as I knew he would) and with me attending and wanting to show respect for the priesthood blessing, dressed in a dress.
     We stopped by the home of another priesthood brother who has a pretty awesome story about his journey/becoming active in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He came to the car--and I worried that he might feel bad because of how we were dressed. After some time in the car he asked Mr. Dashing if he had just gotten off work or just liked to be in a suit. The answer came that Mr. Dashing tried to dress in a white shirt and tie when administrating in the priesthood whenever possible. That was new news to this brother and he said he had never heard of it. But the conversation was left at that.
     We went into the home and after some good conversation, these two priesthood brethren laid their hands on the 30 year old's head and gave her a blessing of strength, peace and comfort for the next day surgery.
     After the blessing was given, this good brother, Ed, placed his hands on the shoulders of the young woman and testified to her about the blessing of receiving a blessing before surgery. He showed his scars on his head from a brain surgery and this good sweet man testified that he knew that no matter what happened the next day--he knew Jesus would be with her.  I was touched by his powerful, simple testifying of what he knew to be true. The words out of this rough and tough pictures up and down the arms, large man--touched me.
     We drove home with the spirit and asked Ed some different questions. He said that he had recently gone through the temple and that there was no turning back now. That He, then he proceeded to jab Mr. Dashing and then pointed back to me-- that we ALL were now solders for God because we had all been through the temple. That no matter what our priesthood holders said/asked, ours was to follow and serve. I smiled as I listened to his love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I thanked Heavenly Father for a man that was so willing and worthy to use the priesthood of God at a moments notice.
     Moments before arriving at his home Ed said, "I love the gospel! It is like being in the Mafia for GOOD!" He then explained in the mafia (I didn't ask him how he was so attached to the Mafia-- :) maybe a story for another day) you might get a call to do something needed at 2 am--and you just go and do it. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints-- whenever you get a call to do good (this day it was at 6:30 at night) you just go and do it! I smiled with his die heart conviction to the gospel of Jesus Christ and his commitment to be a solider for God.
     Ed got out of the car and as he went to shut the door he said the next time he would be dressed appropriately and have a shirt and tie on. He said it was the first he had heard of it, but he said he would do the same. We later heard that he chatted with bishop in asking him if one should wear a shirt and tie for administering a blessing. Bishop mentioned that whenever possible--that dressing for the priesthood was best. Ed then told Bishop he would do it. ...:) Oh this man who is in the Mafia for GOOD! ;) Warmed my heart and left me praising God. Great example to both Mr. Dashing and myself.

KIDNEY STONE

Elder and Sister Cloward - Joberg Africa

     I was chatting with my dad and mom the other day over facetime. Amen for the internet FINALLY in their African home! Makes communicating without glitches--so much nicer!
     I asked how their fast Sunday had been to which Dad replied, great and horrible. They had the missionaries over for dinner, but dad had become very uneasy with a sharp pain attacking him. A kidney stone! He did his best to be a host with much pacing. A few times he laid on his stomach and had my mom knee his back to help move the kidney stone along. Sometimes she was successful which resulted in 30 mins of rest/sleep--but followed by intense pain, pacing the floors, mopping and doing anything else to keep his mind distracted. I have had my own kidney stone before so I knew in general what my dad was going through.
     But the miracle of this agonizing moment was an aw-ha given to him through the spirit. See, early that morning as he and my mom were fasting for all of us in the family--my dad had been pondering over the sacrament prayers.
     As Latter-Day Saints, each Sunday we partake of bread that has been broken and blessed which represents Christ's body and also we partake of water that represents the blood he shed for each of us. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--when we are baptized, we promise to take upon us Jesus Christ's name (that is--try to do as He would do/live/be). We covenant to serve and love others, to keep His commandments, to mourn with those who mourn, comfort/support/care for those in need. We also are baptized because even Christ (our sinless brother) was baptized to fulfill all righteousness/follow what was asked by Heavenly Father.
     Our baptism is a symbol/outward expression of our inner commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ. We believe that one must be baptized by someone who holds the priesthood authority (authority to act in God's name) to preform the sacred ordinance. When we are baptized, it is symbolic of putting away our old life, of whatever it was/is, and being "born again"-- to God. That means committing to keep and live His commandments. In doing so, we believe we receive a remission of our sins. That through the atonement of Christ, we are cleansed and clean- without any spot.
     After we are baptized we are confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And with that confirmation (again only done by those who have authority given them by God to do the ordinance of laying their hands upon our head) we are told to "receive the Holy Ghost".
     We believe by living/striving to repent each day and trying to keep the commandments we can have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost--the third member of the Godhead--whose job is to testify of truth, of Jesus Christ, and of Heavenly Father. Also he leads us and comforts us. Okay... back to the sacrament.
     If baptism in part is for a remission for our sins--and each of us sin every day because we are not perfect--then logically we should just stay in a baptismal font and NEVER get out because we would need to be baptized all the time! Right?! No, we are not to live in a font. But why it is so important to a Latter-Day Saint to attend church every week-- is that is where we partake of the sacrament, the bread and water representing Christ's body and blood that was shed for us-- and through that partaking of those emblems, we renew our baptismal covenants.
     So IF we partake the bread and water with a repentant heart, and we seek to be better and strive again to live as God would have us live--it is as IF we are being "baptized" each Sunday--we start our week fresh and clean, un spotted-- and ready to "KEEP TRYING/STRIVING" to do what we have promised God we would do.
     That is just a little back ground--- so back to my dad, he was pondering over the broken bread which is in similitude (represents) Christ's body that was broken and bruised for each of us. As my dad pondered about it--he said he just didn't get it. That perhaps there was something more "deep" then the bread physically representing all Christ gave us with his physical life/living. During the administration of the sacrament my dad asked God to help him better understand the broken bread.
    Well--that night, prayer answered! For after he had suffered through the attacks of the kidney stone, he felt that the attack was in direct answer to his pleading to better understand the Savior's physical suffering. That He [Jesus Christ] truly has felt all of our heartache and sorrows as well as our physical agonies.
     My dad believed he was given that brief encounter with a kidney stone as a tender mercy into a request to better understand.

    My father's words got me thinking. He said mom already was "clued" into what the bread meant by what she has had to endure... but it was just coming to me. I pondered it all week and then the Lord gave me the Ryerse's talks...

HE KNEW--SO I HAD PEACE
     This past Sunday brought a talk by Brother and Sister Ryerse. The words have stuck with me--and moved me. Sister Ryerse said that growing up she had pretty bad kidneys and had to go into the hospital often for treatments. Finally at 11 years old they decided to try a surgery to help correct/fix whatever was wrong with her kidneys. It sounds like it was a pretty risky procedure. And even at 11 she could remember feeling great anxiety and fear over the surgery. But she was given a blessing and was reminded that the Savior had already felt all the pain she would be going through/have--He knew exactly what she was facing... and although she didn't know how the outcome would be, she went into the surgery as a 11 year old with peace knowing that the Savior had already felt/knew what she was going through. (*Miracle--the surgery was a great success !! and shortly after her surgery the medical world stopped preforming that type of surgery because what there had been too many fatal outcomes with the procedure. She had been protected and preserved.)
     Brother Ryerse talked about the struggles of dating Melanie (Sister Ryerse) because her mom was so set on that HE was not the right one for HER daughter. Apparently the mother in law caused many tears and heartache as Sister Ryerse had received revelation from God to move forward with brother Ryerse in marriage but her mother was not supporting/would not have it.
     Brother Ryerse then said he had a profound dream while they were dating that he was sitting with Melanie's mom and expressing all the reasons he loved her daughter but she would not have it. And the more questions she asked the more Brother Ryerse tried to answer them but was left short handed by being able to satisfy any of the accusations of the mother in law to be. At the end of the dream, Melanie's mom stated to Brother Ryerse that in time things would be okay. He held to that--- and although it sounds like quite a bit of a "hell" in their dating process and probably a bit into their marriage--over time (several years and 4 kids into the marriage) it has been okay.
     Both talks were BEAUTIFUL examples of faith and perseverance/trusting in God-- even with great odds.

SOOO why is this all touching? My dad's experience and Melanie's-- I have never written on here because there are so many of my friends who's timing for marriage and/or children have not come to fruit yet-- My time for marriage was at age 30, and a time for our first child is apparently at age 31--close to 32. Our little guy is due Sept 28th.
     I can't even express all the feelings and emotions I have gone through, that both Mr. Dashing and I have been through in the last 29 weeks, let alone the almost year of marriage.
      And the next two 1/2 months, no doubt, we will yet experience many more things in regards to being parents and raising our little one to God.
     I have been at times brought to my knees in pure fear for labor and delivery--as well of needing to wear the mother hat.
     After serving a mission in New Jersey, when I came home I found myself weeping every time I was around children. It was sometimes out of control and outright feeling of ridiculous. I longed to teach my own little ones about Jesus Christ and God's plan for them, that God hears and answer's prayers, that we lived with him before we came here to this earth, and this earth life, in big measure is learning to be obedient to the commandments of God so we can yet again, return and live with our Heavenly Father. These thoughts would consume me when I was around little children. Sooo MUCH that I had to prayed to have my heart locked from so many tender emotions. (Yeah, not sure if that was wise or not) but lock my heart He did because I finally STOPPED weeping when I was around children. YEA!
     Yes I wanted to be a mother, but because that did not seem to be in my current life plans--I moved on. I strived to do everything within my power to be God's tool as a single person. I don't say this for bragging or to be "seen" a certain way--I am just writing how I choose to deal with my dreams of wife and family not coming in my time table. I certainly didn't want to just do nothing because what "I thought was best" was not coming to past. So I choose to focus on what I could or what I felt God would have me do when the blessings I had sought for were not on the horizon for nearly 10 years....
    But here, now, with the reality growing inside of me (literally with kicks and jabs-our little man is surely going to be a great swimmer like his dad) and the truth that if it is God's will, we will have a little bundle in our arms in the not too distant future---the thought of labor, delivery, and motherhood IS such an awesome monster, or I should, HAS been a monster.
     I have taken comfort in knowing the world has been populated for thousands of years by women doing what just freaks me out to do, and in a large part they have succeeded. But what my fears were not allowing me to realize--came in my dad's and Mel's experiences... the realization/aw-ha that Jesus Christ has already felt what I have been through and will yet go through. That my situation, no matter how closely related to someone else's, Jesus Christ is the one who will know exactly what I am facing. And although I don't know outcomes or have any clue to the pains to be physically felt and emotional/mental ones that will come with the motherhood package--HE DOES. HE KNOWS! And in HIM knowing, my heart takes great peace in knowing there is no part of this journey He has not already walked/ is ready to re-walk with me...!
     Yes, I know I am slow on the bandwagon and these truths I have already realized in other areas of my life, but like reading a scripture for the 100th time and finding something completely new or just pressed to the mind in a different light--this aw-ha is amazing! And this week I am facing the future with a determined peace of mind and confidence....
     I am so grateful for where I live. For the people who have been placed on my path-- for all those who have already dived into motherhood that have been great examples.
  
     To all those who find that the dreams they have so long dreamed that have not come true--but they still are giving their all to God and trying to trust in His timing, how beautiful their examples are to me.

     I am not sure why Mr. Dashing was saved/prepared for me. Some days he is more celestial than I know what to do with. And I am not sure why we have been given this time to have a family--but I know that whatever path each of us are on, if we will trust in God (who has our best interest at the center of His entire existence) we will never have to face/do what we are asked to do--alone. For our exact path (whatever it is in life) has been walked by the Redeemer of all mankind. And if one chooses to have faith in Him, despite the unknowns, that someone truly can live in/with peace and hope, regardless of what the outcomes/happenings of their individual journeys may bring.

Today I am rejoicing in people who testify about being God's solider, in white shirts and ties with men willing and worthy to serve in/with the priesthood. I rejoice in beautiful examples given to me of the personal lives of others, which move me in the direction of faith--because of them living their faith!

Happiness is God placing a new piece into the puzzles before my eternal soul's journey. 

I am grateful for prayer, and repentance and the chance to become better than I am.

TWO TIES AND A BOW-TIE

For whatever reason, Mr. Doogies takes getting dressed for Sunday very seriously. He carefully button's up his shirt which is usually re-buttoned with love by his mom or aunt!  I have to admit, he dresses for Church with a reverence and in a way I have never witnessed a child do. I really think it is because his heart knows whom he is dressing for!

Yesterday as sacrament was being passed I whispered to Doogies asking him what his favorite story of Jesus was. He didn't give me any indication he had an answer. Wanting to encourage his sacrament thoughts, I mentioned, "Like when Jesus feeds all the people with the bread and fishes..." Without skipping a beat, he whispered, "I like when He prayed so hard-he bleeded." A little shocked by his answer I asked, "You like when Jesus was in Gethsemane?" Doogs replied, "Yes--when He prayed so hard--He bleeded."

What a beautiful four year old profound interpretation/observation.

Thanks for my sacrament focus Mr. Doogies.  I love you.


EYE SINGLE TO HIS GLORY
Yesterday in Relief Society our teacher posed an awesome question. She discussed the scripture about keeping one's eye single to the glory of God. She asked each of us to turn to our neighbor and discuss what that phrase meant for us personally in our life. One woman answered that for her it meant that with retiring soon she should be going on a mission... but she is too scared to go. But keeping her eye single, is accepting the next step she feels she is to make, which for her, is a mission. Another sister's eyes started to glisten as she said what having an eye single to His glory meant for her. She didn't elaborate because of time, but I gathered from the emotion that her eye single meant having patience in God's timing with having a family...

I always viewed that scripture as a blanket statement of putting God's will first/keeping Him in my main focus. BUT this inspired teacher pointed out that each of us in our own individual lives can reflect and thus discover what having an eye single means for us in whatever challenges we are facing.

Inspired question! Inspired teacher!

Happiness is the insight of a child.

I am grateful for Dad's tartar sauce, Mom's custard, and a couple that enjoys dancing together!

"…not really about…sheep and goats."

Well I started this post over a year ago...! And apparently I saved it as a draft ???

be of good cheer

go in search

gather them together

bring them back

[to] the place of water

This is so sweet!

(Miss you Nyk, Carson, Tay and Kiss!)

I was reading Ammon's account of him contending with all the bad guys by cutting off their arms. That story, to me, has always been one about Ammon's courage/bold faith and undaunted spirit against all odds. THIS time however, because of Elder Holland's comment on parables not really being about sheep and goats--I was impressed with the workings of/with the sheep!!

A few questions to consider before reading:

Q's: What is water symbolic of in the scriptures? 
       Did the sheep ever actually partake of the water when they were first brought?
       What was the cause of their scattering?
       When brought back to the water again, why were they
               1.) not able to drink the water right away?
               2.) not scattered the second time, because they were scattered the first time?
       Did they eventually water?
       And to whom did they get to return home to?
--

 26 And after he had been in the service of the king three days, as he was with the Lamanitish servants going forth with their flocks to the place of water...and all the Lamanites drive their flocks hither, that they may have water—

 27 Therefore, as Ammon and the servants of the king were driving forth their flocks to this place of water, behold, a certain number of the Lamanites, who had been with their flocks to water, stood and scattered the flocks of Ammon and the servants of the king, and they scattered them insomuch that they fled many ways.
…
 31 And it came to pass that he [Ammon] flattered them [the servants of the King] by his words, saying: My brethren, be of good cheer and let us go in search of the flocks, and we will gather them together and bring them back unto the place of water; and thus we will preserve the flocks unto the king and he will not slay us.

 32 And it came to pass that they went in search of the flocks, and they did follow Ammon, and they rushed forth with much swiftness and did head the flocks of the king, and did gather them together again to the place of water.

 33 And those men again stood to scatter their flocks; but Ammon said unto his brethren: Encircle the flocks round about that they flee not; and I go and contend with these men who do scatter our flocks.

 34 Therefore, they did as Ammon commanded them, and he went forth and stood to contend with those who stood by the waters of Sebus; and they were in number not a few.

... 39 And when he had driven them afar off, he returned and they watered their flocks and returned them to the pasture of the king... (Alma 17 emphasis added)

 I hope my excitement in this subject does not kill the message! In response to the missionary who feels he is everyday/all day just "Home Teaching"... change the word "flock" to "members".

Perhaps for full time missionaries or member missionaries, the temptation is to think that there is only real joy in bringing someone to Christ's living waters who has never yet been. But the truth is, we all have been and partook of His waters before coming here to this earth.

For those members who may have been brought to the waters of baptism, perhaps some have not taken what Christ's waters have to offer by actually "drinking" in the gospel. Perhaps the demons of addiction, lack of commitment, family loyalty/traditions, laziness, sorrow, grief, fear, despair, sadness, struggle with commandment keeping, marital struggles (the list goes on and on) where "standing" ready to scatter whoever was brought to Christ...and those "standings" were successful.

BUT YEA to the missionary (member or full time servants) who are being of good cheer with the inspired assignment of going and searching, swiftly heading off, bringing back, encircling, contending, disarming the opposition, and making a way for a watering! His watering! Then together--heading for the pasture of the King.

It is an exciting time to be alive with God's hastening going on! I testify to all, that the sweetness and real joy is that someone is able and does partake. Whether it is their first mortal experience to the place of water or they have been brought back for the 100th time... when one does partake, one is changed!

Oh the wisdom of our great God!!

be of good cheer

go in search

gather them together

bring them back

[to] the place of water

 "together" would imply that there is more than "one" to gather... we are talking about families! And God would have us bring them back TOGETHER to the place of water! Oh the hastening of His work! Oh you missionaries, if you are given such an opportunity--EAT IT UP!

I am grateful for flower "snowball" fights.

Happiness is glistening eyes caught in the dark as one starts to realize that he wants to partake of Christ's water.

Sweet is the joy the gospel brings!

If God allows and grants you the sacred work of going in search, gathering and bring back so one might partake... I promised you, you will count your blessings 10 by 10 and you will be surprised at what the Lord has done!!

Its not really about sheep!

"WHERE IS THE PAVILION?"

 

(Isn't this bird awesome!?! I didn't even dare look at the price tag as I was just taking a shot of it for Bishop Madsen to see as it reminded me of an illustration he did once (see here) ... but I wish I had looked at how much it was! I am back in the AZ airport come Aug, and I might just have to see if this beautiful fellow is still there and if I have saved up enough to buy it! IN LOVE!)

Studied President Erying's Pavilion talk. I have listened to it several times, but actually reading it again for this time around, I was impressed with some new ideas. For me, this was deep.

Q: What did he mention was the reason why the Lord had allowed him to stay longer at BYU Idaho?  (I freaked out as I caught this) 

He said: 

"He [the Lord] let me seek counsel and gain His permission to stay at Ricks College. He knew all the reasons that my service might still be valuable at the college and in Rexburg. [Just 30 days after he declined an enticing career offer, the Teton Dam burst]...I was there [Idaho] to ask Heavenly Father frequently in prayer that He would would have me do those things that would help the people whose property and lives had been damaged." 

A: !!!!!!!!!!!!  God used/in part, had him serve longer at BYU Idaho, because of his ability to seek (asking) the will of the Lord/His council in frequent prayer--TO BLESS THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND HIM. What a complement! And among the Leadership skills and other things President Eyring offered, like the bird at the top, one of his "gifts/things" to offer--was that he, president Eyring, seeks the Lord's council in frequent prayer. Seriously, this concept as a principle of leadership, influence, career, WHATEVER, is a crazy insight into how one should manage/attend to all their affairs. 

!!!!!!!! :)

Can the Lord say such a thing of me? Would/could I be used as a tool in the Lord's hand in a like manner because He knew I would seek His will/ask Him/council with Him frequently? Jared obviously knew someone who would council with the Lord for the benefit of others in all things when he kept going to his brother "the Brother of Jared" (as the book of Ether states). Is this not a timely reminder of how my communion with the Lord should be, on a daily basis?!

Sweetly, at the end of his talk, (there is awesome stuff, I can't begin to scratch the surface- you can read it for yourself here ) he says: 

"...if you go for the Lord to bless others, He will see and reward it. If you do this often enough and long enough, you will feel a change in your very nature through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Not only will you feel closer to Him, but you will also feel more and more that you are becoming like Him." 

If we "GO FOR THE LORD" (in our every day lives, work, home, family, simply breathing/living) to bless others often, we are promised: 

• He will see what we do and reward us. 
• Q: Reward us with what?
• A: A change in our very nature-through the Atonement of Jesus Christ
• We will feel closer to Him
• Find ourselves becoming more and more like Him
• Not to mention, in serving we can become what Nephi states as a declaration of his soul: "I have charity for my people and great faith in Christ that I shall meet many souls spotless at his judgement-seat."--2 Nephi 33:7. (How would it be to say "I HAVE charity...! Not just striving for it, but actually saying I have it...?! What an amazing thing to be able to say...)

So I Bryndi K, am and want to/will strive...

in all things.

Can't wait for General Conference!

I am so thankful God has "let" me stay teaching Mission Prep, a little longer. 

I love my students.

And like Nephi, I too can say, I glory in my Jesus,

for He has redeemed my soul

from hell.

  

Happiness is placing one's faith in Christ.

p.s.

Not only can we "go for the Lord" with our actions and our very wills in serving Him... but when it comes time for picking where we will stand, whom we will believe, where we will put our faith and trust... 

GO FOR [meaning CHOOSE] the LORD!

:)

"Oh, there's sunshine, blessed sunshine"

   6:40 a.m. I hear the recorder be played. In my little condo you would be surprised to know how good the acoustics are! I had just knelt down for a morning prayer and I thought how I needed to go quite Ireland so he didn't wake up his folks or his three sleeping siblings. As I tried to concentrate through my prayer, half-hearted--music does this to me--all of a sudden I notice the song he was trying to figure out... it was "I am a Child of God". I smiled as I prayed and no longer wanted to keep him from waking up his family. After this aunt was very impressed with the whole song of I am a Child of God, he played hot cross buns. :) As I left my room to head for work, I was impressed that he was in the living room and when he spoke to me he was whispering...(that is another miracle as he doesn't whisper in the morning very much, but I could tell he was "trying" to be quite and not wake up his siblings, which just might have been a first-EVER!!) :D
   Thanks Iron Man for adding happiness to my morning!
   As I drove into work, I started to sing There is Sunshine in my Soul. I chuckled a bit as I entered the freeway noticing the pretty drab morning. Cold, no visible sign of mountains let alone any sunlight.

 As I sang:

There is sunshine in my soul today,
More glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky,
For Jesus is my light.
Oh, there's sunshine, blessed sunshine
When the peaceful happy moments roll.
When Jesus shows his smiling face,
There is sunshine in the soul.

   I smiled at the application of being surrounded by NO light, literally, yet I know who IS my light. And His light is peaceful and happy.... There is sunshine in my soul. And whenever I choose to focus on Him--there always is sunshine.
   I re-arranged Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam "adult" version and added a verse:

"Dark clouds may threaten--
to destroy my peace,
But if you will look inside,
you will find in me..."

A sunbeam, a sunbeam, Jesus wants me to be.
A sunbeam, a sunbeam, I will be a sunbeam for Him.

   So my morning goes! It has been a challenging month with a big, new project at work. I am constantly overwhelmed with gratitude and God's goodness in the choice revelation He offers me and my co-workers. Most of my projects I cannot do on my own and it takes coordinating many efforts and hands. I am literally dependent on the work/ideas/inspiration of others to get most, of all my projects done/accomplished...that is very humbling needing to be dependent and trusting of so many others skills, time and efforts... but oh how I see God's hands!
   A few weeks back I was pondering and praying about how to make a display work. And in the early morning to my mind came an idea and how the project could work. It was not like Russel M. Nelsons heart stint inspiration--but in my job, it felt like the answer was a "parting of the veil" idea. I discussed this idea with Jeff, and he ran with it. **Which I was so grateful he was open to listening too and trying the idea. IT WORKED! And of course it did, if God inspired it, why wouldn't it ?? but I am still in aw with God's brilliance, even to my little projects. Not in aw that He knows what to do--that is a given, but that He is so willing to help and inspire, guide and lead processes (not world changing, just job sustaining) if asked.
   As I started this project and moved the ball forward, I was wishy washy and knowing that we were taking the project like it has never been done before (just going against a lot of different grains) Patti (inspired) made the comment that she trusted me for she was sure I had prayed over it. WELL- the fact is I hadn't even thought to pray about whether we were going the right direction! I was humbled by her comment and stepped into the bathroom to pray. Felt peace, move forward. That was the first bit of peace I had had with the whole project. Needed that reminder.
   And then yesterday as all the pieces were to come together for the project ships out tomorrow, Marin made the statement of where was my confidence? I was being wishy washy again of how it was all going to come together. She was inspired to question me, but what she was really doing, was reminding me.
   Christ said, "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?"- D&C 6:23
   I was humbled by Marin's statement. Why was I wavering, when I already had had a confirmation from God a few weeks ago?!
   Yesterday as I needed to have some "unknowns" come together, Anna, (one of our awesome Designers at work) with inspiration, made a huge part easily come together. It was a bit of a problem and with in moments she had a brilliant fix. And it was an easy one too when we were set out to do this BIG fix, Anna and Cynthia were inspired with a simple fix! And Cynthia, was the answer to prayer as well as she put all the pieces together on the tables (I have no "girl" in me for arranging things on tables) but Cynthia, the master, patient organizer/arranger made it look stunning.... it was just a humbling day to see the hand of the Lord--for this project. I told Anna as soon as we pack up tonight I will be hitting the 7 am session tomorrow at the temple and will just be crying a lot. She told me not to cry--but it is a good cry. Every time God helps me through/gets me through a big project, AND HE ALWAYS DOES, I seem to have a let down of tears and gratitude afterwards in the temple.
   My heart is full.
There is Sunshine in THIS soul!

Happiness is I am a Child of God--played by a 7 year old on a recorder.

I am grateful for Mission Presidents who come and speak at Sat night Stake Conferences.

I am grateful for the reminder of REMEMBERING the Lord's peace that came-- and in that peace is where my confidence must/needs/should/will/wants/can abide.

Happiness is choice co-workers, who God uses to answer many, many personal prayers!

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing."

 

I love that quote from President Eying...! I know it to be true. I loved his whole talk! (click here)

This video... is AWESOME!

14 DAYS OF LOVE!

I LOVE Valentines! Seriously, one of my favorite holidays! Mandi was doing 14 days of why she loves her Husband, and so I wanted to do the challenge too, just "tweaked" it a bit to fit my "love" needs! ;)

Happiness is a productive day that actually FELT productive.

I am grateful for clear, quiet mornings, with winter mountains, blue sky and just my thoughts.

ONE GIANT FIREBALL

How to feel "young" as a 30 year old in just 3 seconds or less...OH BELIEVE ME, there is a way!

Just two weeks ago as I read the announcement at church about a single adult fireside I felt impressed I needed to go. I pulled up and thought it was odd that the place was not packed, but as I walked in my natural snow white skin turned a rosy pink ... the further I walked into the chapel the more I realized that I had been taking the word "young" in-front of the phrase Single Adults Fireside, for granted! I was the only one 20+ years younger than at least half of the room and for the rest of the room, maybe I was up to 30-40 years younger!

I contemplated backing out of the building as my face became crimson but I felt impressed, "no, stay." My thoughts as I went to the middle of the chapel to sit down were "Okay, Heavenly Father, just so you know these women are going to think I am here to steal their Men!..." To calm the blood filling my face cells I simply told myself, "It's okay, I will just pull the 'granddaughter' of the speaker card."

Seriously, who ever knew that the word young would be so pertinent to "single adult"! :) But even with my cherry face, (which I am sure the Lord and all His angels were having a good chuckle at my squeamish complexion) God was very much into the details of this inspiring night.

The fireside theme was:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

A theme that I felt I could not walk out on, embarrassed at my long brown curls or not, I knew it was going to be good!

A picture Grampy took while serving in Germany

From my notes and recall of the string night...

Brother Wolferts was born and raised in Germany. When he was 1 1/2 years old the his family went through their first bomb raid. His mother recalls how awful the sounds were. The dropping, the hitting, the detonation and the exploding. Their apartment was hit. The city was in flames. Brother Wolferts's parents rushed to a neighbors (cellar I believe) but only to find to their horror that it on fire. They had a choice, stay and hope to survive the fire or rush through the flames and take their chances with scenes outside. His mother and father took he and his twin brother- pressed them to their chests and covered them with their coats as they dahsed through the flames and onto the street. There were 47 others in that cellar. All of which were killed in the flames.

I believe he said that no one in their small branch had been killed that night, however all were scattered.

2nd bomb raid, in a different city. Another bomb hit their apartment and crashed through and landed in their neighbor's bed. The destination miraculously did not go off. (I believe it was at this time or before that Brother Wolferts's father was taken into the military to help fight the war.)

3rd bomb raid in a new place. His mother was in the city when she heard and saw the bombs. She only had time for a quick prayer. A man from out of no where came and grabbed (one or two) of the twins and told her to run for the hill. They hid in a dug out that had some type of wine barrels.

Refuges, with nothing, Brother Wolfert's family was staying in a new city that was invaded/taken over by the Russian solders. No one was allowed in or out of the city.

I believe after two weeks his Uncle, mother's brother, snuck in by night and told them they were going to sneak past the guards/line. A group that was warned before hand, tried sneaking before them. As Brother Wolfterts family crouched in the night they heard gun shots and shouting. All that tried to escape before them were killed. At this point Brother Wolferts (age 3 1/2 I believe) started to cry. His mother had witnessed once before a woman trying to shush her baby and ended up suffocating the baby to death, so his mother dare not cover his mouth. His twin brother joined in on the crying.

Brother Wolferts said even at that young age he can still remember the young Russian solder that found them and had the barrel of the gun pointed down at him. The solder started scouting and Brother Wolferts Uncle pleaded for their lives while handing over his wrist watch. And for a wrist watch, they were all spared. Shortly there after they were able to sneak away and escape.

Brother Wolferts, years later was called to be the Mission President where he grew up. He said so much heartache, and people not wanting to believe in God or give Him a chance because of the devastation that was seen/done to so many... but Brother Wolferts testified that there are three things that will lead one to have an unshakeable trust in the Lord.

1.) Have a richer understanding of God's plan of Happiness. 
2.) Have a better understanding of the principle of "opposition" and how it is in all things.
3.) Have a greater understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

He then asked:

How can we learn to trust if we don't overcome doubt? Christ healed the blind, not blindness. 

Out of his extensive library his most precious piece and the most value to him--is his mother's journal. She said (wish I had the exact quote) in essence:

 I was surrounded by one giant fire ball, but I was at peace and felt, 'whatever will be will be'. The only thing I could do was pray that Heavenly Father would give me strength; and He did.

Brother Wolferts ended his remarks with the reminder that it was not fun to be on the cross, but it was the joyous view of the victory that the Savior kept... and He who led a sinless life...led that life for sinners.

So many wonderful thoughts! This is two firesides I have mistaken to be for "young" single adults... but now I think I am going to have to start taking Grandma Ratcliffe with me! Then I will truly be there as a granddaughter and not as someone trying to steal the silver-greys! ;) ha ha

The following Monday I studied Elder Nash's amazing talk from GC... Soo good.. I was impressed with all the reminders on faith. And because of the giant fireball testimony from the night before, when Elder Nash quoted Doctrine and Covenants 27:17 and the shield of faith, I was deeply moved by what faith has to offer me..
 ...if used, I "shall" be able to quench "all" the fiery darts/giant fireballs. That is a pretty hefty promise.

This is what I decided my shield of faith would/should be made out of...

And obviously so many more things can be placed on there, but for starters.

God is amazing...

This morning, after a somewhat long late night, I arrived at the temple with a heavy heart. God knew the condition of my heart, for who should be there to greet me-- Sister Hyatt! She was subbing for Marva. We started chatting. And the questions she asked struck some chords and tears and annoying boogers were dripping. She was very inspired and I praised God for putting her on my path.

Then it was seeing Sister Mckown! She is in the MTC right now working at heading to Hong Kong. Didn't plan on running into her!

Then it was Anamea whom I visit teach, and a sweet Tongan sister that I have loved for years (we only know each other from seeing one another in the temple), and Berniel whom I served on a shift forever with, and as if God just wanted to see how many marshmallow blessings He could shove into my already full heart, as I was walking out the door, one of my old young woman, beautiful Jori, was walking into the temple! I did not get to go to her mission farewell talk yesterday and was bummed about that. But here she is headed off to the MTC Wed, and God let her cross my path just now. I haven't seen her in nearly a year.... and He did it just because He is kind like that.

Don't tell me God is not a God of miracles! I know He has all power. I know He can change my very nature. Jesus is His son, and my brother. ...And although the fireballs are allowed to sore and destroy the very air I breath; I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Happiness is making a real, dates included, commitment for progression/change-with/for God.

I am grateful for a cousin who took the time to write an email for a hurting friend.

 Is my shield ready?

MOMENTS OF GOD...Lessons on/in "LIFE".

Do you want a few profound, yet simple thoughts...? I have had a handful cross my path and I am still chewing them over. They are beautiful. They are deep. I believe they are all insights to the nature of God. 

PATIENCE, I THOUGHT I HAD SOME
In speaking with Hill she told me of a conversation that she had just recently had with her husband.

After some colic days and nights with their fairly new cute little wonder, Eric commented that he had always thought he had patience/was a patient person... but with the change of events, he came to the realization that what he thought was his strength of "patience", really was just his life lacking tests in/of patience. It wasn't until his patience was tried, that he found a new truth to himself. That patience was not necessarily his strong point, and for the moment it was in, non-existent!

How does one go 100% confident of one's attribute, to a view of I am at 0%?!

Perhaps Peter knew this when he declared:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

The trial of my __(place my whatever "vice" here)___, being much more precious than of gold....
How can I truly know if I have kindness, unless I am given the opportunity to react to something/someone not kind. How strong my love is unless I am tested in the lack of love. How deep my service is offered through a non-convenient opportunity, the depth of my hope amidst a hopeless odd... the virtue of forgiveness, temperance, holding the tongue, replacing the thoughts, turning the cheek or shutting the eyes, speaking no guile.... How can I know if I achieved any sort of Christlike attribute in strength, if the strength of the attribute (or in my case often, the lack of), is never tested?

This life is a test, a time to prepare to meet God. Looks like seeking for opportunities to work on the flaws or polish off what I am confident is crystal, when really it just glass, is still heavily needed.


UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, IS THAT HOW HE DOES IT?!!!!
The other day Julie and I were headed on our way to go make a visit. In catching up Julie mentioned just how much she loved her daughter Livie, and then basically said: "She [Alivia] is completely dependent on me and I serve her 24/7. How can you not love someone you serve so much? The more I serve her the more I find myself falling in loving her even more."

Livie literally can do nothing to sustain her life by herself. She needs to be fed, changed, bathed, hugged, burped, picked up, put down.... a mother and father's selfless work.

My thoughts immediately turned to Heavenly Father.... is this a secret into how He unconditionally loves me?! He is constantly serving me 24/7 and whether I think I am independent/okay to take care of myself, in all honesty He grants me my very breath and even the dust is greater than me, but, through His son's atonement, the very life I live, 24/7 God is serving me... What does that say about His love for me? Because He is always serving, He falls more and more in love with His children, with me... what does that tell me when I am not fully loving, or when I am serving and still not feeling ample love for who I am serving. It's a statement for sure of the condition of my heart. ...a deep insight in HOW to love others. ....

"Unless [I] lose [myself] in service to others, there is little purpose to [my] own [life]." --President Monson

Beautiful thought.


IF YOU ONLY KNEW...
During fast Sunday last week, a sister shared this awesome experience. She had to set her baby down to go get a bottle or something... and the baby started to cry. She held the baby tight and whispered in the ear that, "If only you knew how much I love you, you would never need to cry. I only have to leave you because I am doing things for you--because I love you." And as she set down the baby to hurry to the needed task, the words from Heavenly Father pressed onto her heart and mind, "If only you knew how much I love you, you would never need to cry. I only have to leave you because I am doing things for you--because I love you."

Such insights to the nurture and admonition of the Lord... choice.



BURDENS OF SIN...
A few weeks back we had a HORRIBLE snow storm. It was so thick and heavy. As I was driving to go meet with a vendor for HM, I turned a corner and saw this little grove of trees. ... immediately the thought came to my mind,

"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin."--2 Nephi 4:28

I smiled at how God could not have demonstrated any better to my mind what it means to "droop". This little grove is a bunch of vivacious overgrowth just off the side of the road. I was interested and concerned about the burden they were caring.

For several days, because of the cold, all the trees in the area seemed to remain hunched over and lifeless.

Any sin in my life is exactly the same way. And if I am not careful,

and don't take care of the "snow" by doing actions that can "melt" snow, in time the sin (could be lack of faith, or trust, unwillingness to obey, stubbornness or pride) will mold me completely into something opposite of what I was born to be. And not only will I burden bound, but frozen from movement "progression" at all!

As I drove the rest of the day, I noticed burdened trees EVERYWHERE. No one but Christ, is void of being drooped by something.

After many concerning views in the morning, my heart leaped for joy when the blue sky and sunshine came out. Finally, high hopes that the snow would melt and the trees would have relief. After all, It was the sun, shining on the snow, melting should occur right?!...  in came another life lesson...


Sometimes what I have allowed myself to "droop" in/with, is/can get so caked on, that even a full day in the sun does not have immediate results.  Some burdens are heavier because of the nature the sin or whatever is causing the burden. And just like God will be slow to hear my cries if  I have chosen to not be obedient to Him....being fulling immersed in sunshine--the process to "awake, my soul" can only be awoken by being where the sun is, it is a process of consistency... and forever how long that takes. Staying where light isn't (choices I choose that take me away from such things) keeps me in the "shade"/darkness of the world, where if I remain I will end up like the icecycled tree.

So at the cross roads of my decisions,

 what do I decide to be/do? Droop in sin?! No AWAKE, MY SOUL! Let me surround myself with Gospel light, Christ's atonement, via: Church attendance, meaningful prayer, fasting, scripture study, service, love...  for however long the days may take!



I may only be able to melt one limb at a time, but that is one "limb" that will no longer be DROOPing!

It is so much better to be in the light, in hopes that He will melt our loads... for He has promised He will. Am I willing to expose myself to constant "sunlight" day in and day out, to allow the SON's light "the atonement" to make the difference?

When a cross road of life comes, of whether to move forward with Christ or figuring things out on my own--I need to work it out, IN THE LIGHT!! His light! The Sonlight!


BLESSED BE THE NAME OF MY GOD FOR IT...Over and over I have had the impression to Study Enos.... so many crazy cool thoughts, but this particular last week, meant something so personal... very personal.

Enos 1:1 reads:

 Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man—for he taught me in his language, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—and blessed be the name of my God for it—

... instead of typing a statement... I am going to try and do a data dump of what my thoughts were as I picked apart this verse. When I read Enos 1:1, I had no intentions of picking apart the verse, but my mind and thoughts were as follows (my thoughts in color.)

  Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man [How did he know/believe he was a just man? Cross reference, who is Enos's father? Oh Jacob, little brother of Nephi, saw the Savior when he was in his youth, killer sermons... Yep Enos has all right to believe and know his father was a just man.] —for he taught me in his language, [Why is it so important for him to be taught in His language? Just reading "his language" my first thought was oh, his dad taught Enos in Enos's language... teaching a teenager, teach them in teenager language, if you are teaching a toddler, teach them what a toddler understands. Further inspection of the words, I found that the language taught was Jacob's (Enos's Dad's language). ... I have heard that statement often in the scriptures, what is the deal/why is it important. Cross reference-okay lots of other folks taught in their language... Okay, he really isn't going to teach him in a language his son can't understand, so then what is a language?? Search dictionary:  a body of words, system of linguistic signs/symbols any set system of such symbols. So a language= a lot of different parts that make up a systematic way of communication something. Different pieces that work all together to create something beautiful... sooo Enos's Dad taught him in his language-- What is his language? What systems did he have to offer (LIGHT BULB FREAK OUT MOMENT).... Jacob knew how God worked. He had seen Christ, he knew how to have prayers answered and obviously used the priesthood... each one... A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE. And here, in what he knew, the "language" of how the spirit works, or the "language" of the atonement in his life--Jacob (the dad) was teaching Enos what he himself had come to know of how His personal language was with the gospel, was with Christ! He taught his son in His language=what HE KNEW of the workings of God.!! (SILENTLY FREAKING OUT AT THIS INSIGHT, more reasons to come] and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord [Huh, there is an "in" in that statement. I could have sworn it read and also the nurture and admonition, not "in the"... nurture and admonition. Nurture and admonition was the style by which He taught the "languages" = Workings of God with!]—and blessed be the name of my God for it [and Enos praised His dad for teaching Him about the things he knew  of god "his language" in the style of God which is nurturing and counseling-admonition.... (THIS SCRIPTURE IS ALL ABOUT BEING A TEACHER?!!! WHAT!!]

Sooo... I know that is random, but what you just read was pretty much my whole thought process as I dug into a verse I have read at least 100 times... now for the extra tenderness of the verse in my life. Letting you see my thought process is yes random, but part of what I learned. I was called to be an institute teacher for mission prep. There are a whole lot of details that go into receiving the call because for one I am not even a member of the Stake to which called me to serve.

Concerns: Just letting you into my thought process, for that is where lies the beauty of this tender, personal mercy/insight for me.

I have been home from the mission for a long time, 7 1/2 years. I never was assigned to be a trainer and there is nothing wrong with that, but I always feel a tinge of sadness that I wasn't "good enough" to train someone. (And yes I do know where those feelings come from. I am just exposing my full raw self to you at the moment, so please hold on.) The Stake also said that every person who even starts their mission papers will be required/requested to attend the class. No pressure, right.All these young men and woman are going to serve God.... back to my thoughts:

God, Thou knows who I am. Doest Thou really want me to set the example for others to follow? Remember that just a few weeks ago, I got this text that I know states what others think of me, just don't verbalize it... [never mind the "to" instead of should be "two"]. My ways tend to be not very matching with other people's ways. I am cool and always encourage others to find out how Thou communicates with them, but I don't want to impose all that Thou has brought me to know, on them and I don't know the scriptures...

   Those were the thoughts as my mind was plagued... But from Enos, sweet Enos, I was given the kindest revelation, that I have my own "languages" with God. My own language "parts and pieces that work together in a beautiful flow" with the spirit, and how I receive revelation. God was telling me through Enos's comment of His father's teachings--that GOD wants ME to TEACH in MY language, the languages I know... that is why I was freaking out. My "style" is to be in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the "what" is teaching the Languages I know: the Language of prayer, the Language of the spirit, the Language of discipleship, the language of relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father. ... I am not perfect in any of them, but they are my own languages... and God wants me to teach them- expose my thoughts/ways/insights that He has had me learn... and hopefully in the end some student will "bless God for it". As I thought about Richard G. Scott, he does not dance around issues or allude to how he gets things. His talks are out right: here are the steps I took, to get A. B. C. He always teaches in his languages of how God has worked with him. ... what a beautiful insight, and kind encouragement to teach in my language-- which is the language God has taught me.

Cool.


NO DON'T HAVE ME...
Last Sunday I anticipated going to Davey and Mandi's little Mazie Moon's blessing. Before hand, I had a pretty intense scripture study. My soul was filled with fire as concepts of the blessing of agency came to my mind. I finished my study and rushed to the blessing. 

I was so happy to see Davey and Mandi! I knew this was Davey's first baby blessing since him joining the church and being sealed. When he got up to give the blessing I noticed he had a paper which to read from. *I later found out that he had an inspired bishopric member comment that often most people think the priesthood is spare of the moment/ inspiration needed on the spot and at times it has to be, but as long as one is directed, someone can contemplate and write down inspired revelation when under the direction of the priesthood power and authority... Davey did just that. He went to the temple last week in preparation to give the blessing and when he wrote down the baby blessing in which he would/did read, he felt the spirit confirm to his mind and guide his thoughts and what he penned. I did not know this at the time, but while he was giving the baby blessing, the spirit filled my soul and seemed to serge through me very being during the whole blessing. I have very few times experienced such a powerful baby blessing. Afterwards when I found out that he had prepared the way he had I could not help but smile and praise God for such a priesthood holder.

After the blessing as we prepared for the sacrament, I had the impression that I needed to bare my testimony. I seemed to sink in my seat with just the thought. "Oh no, Heavenly Father, not me. I am sitting on a bench with a whole bunch of folks who do not have anything/want anything to do with the gospel/church and there is even handfuls that are not members. I know them, they know me.... Oh I can't testify of agency, they will think I am pointing my finger at them." So where the pleadings/agony that filled my soul. But how could I not share what God had obviously just prepared my mind in the study to share. Swallowing hard I got up and shared my testimony on the gift of Agency. I sat down and none of my fellow bench friends looked at me. I didn't blame them, however I can not deny what I felt impressed to say... for they surely were not my words.

Davey stood up and apparently it was his first time sharing his testimony in that ward since moving in Aug or Sept I believe. He testified of how church brings people together. He had had the impression to invite his friends, which he did. They came. He encouraged all to embrace truths and come to the light. It was wonderful. Some tears were shed. 

After the meeting, a little leery with how bold I felt the Lord had had me be--I made a comment to Mandi and Davey how I didn't want to get up but felt compelled to do so. Mandi then reveled that as soon as she and Davey saw me come in the building, they started praying that I would bare my testimony. Davey then became a little emotional in saying he felt I shared exactly what he had been praying someone would share for his friends to hear. (It was not me, but the Lord.) I teased them that if they both had that much power/influence with the Lord over my life, they should both start praying for my husband to come out of the wood works then!  

It was beautiful. I hate/ashamed that I hesitated. But I am thankful the Lord gave me courage to say what he would have me say. 

I left the parking lot, after a good chat with Davey and Mandi, praising the Lord and singing all the way back to my ward, full volume and salty tears dripping. How I love when God allows me to be around people who love Him and are striving to be like His son. All people are children of God. And bless those who are actively striving to live that way/raise their family in a Christ centered home. I am often overcome with deep emotions what I get to witness such devotion in the lives of those I love. 


GROW TOGETHER...
I was speaking with Jinger the other night late. She commented how she was striving to work/figure out between being perfect vs. being pure/having purity. She mentioned that one attribute seemed to be a wheat and on the other hand the same attribute seemed it could be a tare. She was striving to know which one was which and how to pull out the tares. To my mind came Mathew 13:29-30

 27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?

 28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?

 29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.

 30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

If you try pulling up the tares (weaknesses) you will root up your wheat (strengths). We are to let them both grow together... until God's harvest (He is the one who makes weak things become strong) he will gather all the weakness and bind them and burn them!! And where did the tares come from anyway?? An enemy hath planted them... but Either tells us that God gives us weaknesses, so we will be humble and come unto him. And our God also allows Satan be on the earth. Perhaps Satan (allowed by God--opposition in all things) sows the tares which he thinks like in the garden of Eden (Eve partaking of the fruit) will mess up God's plans... but God allows/gives us weaknesses, through the enemy. 
The application is deep!

So the idea of being perfect, in the sense of, a field of only wheat--not happening! Throw that type of perfection out the window! Weaknesses and strengths grow together! But how sweet it will be when the Lord's appointed time comes and I am left only with my strengths... what a day that will be!

--

*For the "thought" dump--it is nearly done! If anyone has hung on this long, great job! This was not my plans today, but felt over and over to write these things that were/have been on my heart and in my mind.. 

Happiness is someone picking up kneaders for a friend, which ended up being a really cool prompting. 

I am grateful for Jesus Christ being my Savior.

I am grateful I get to "try" again.

HAPPINESS IS...

Happiness is...

Walking out of an interview and seeing this

Happiness is...

God allowing true love, again.

Happiness is...

Beautiful, thoughtful blossoms.

Happiness is...

A friend's whole day off spent in labors of love.

Happiness is...

This conversation:

Me: Beaner- would you please say the prayer so we can drive to the cabin safe?
Brynnlee: Sure, dear Heavenly Father please help us not get sea sick, bless mom and dad and that we will be safe and happy.

....reflection of my driving?!

Then all the way up to the cabin this conversation to place. "Bryndi is the vocalist, Ireland does the electric guitar, Doogs the trumpet and I will be the harp. The song will be Families can be forever.." said cute little Brynnlee as she "directed" our musical production. They switched instruments around for 30+ mins. Brynnlee scolding Doogs and Ironman for not coming in on the "right" places-- ! I chuckled off and on in between my "vocalist" parts. :D

Happiness is... Doogy's little grin!

Happiness is...

Friends calling to let me know that they had said a prayer for me to make it home from work safe and that it was bad outside, so I should "leave" asap.

 Happiness is... someone thinking to pray for me out of the blue, with no request from me.

Happiness is...

Time with Grandma Ratcliffe!

Happiness is... when a puzzle with non-ending plain red, tiny pieces is completed! :)

Happiness is...

Coming home to my bedroom door decked out in Glitter, snowflake goodness!

Happiness is...

A thoughtful co-worker making me my "own" cucumber, mushroom, tomato "smores" because I can't do our Smores day at work. Seriously, the platter made me want to cry.

Happiness is... a cucumber ordainment as a reminder of all God has helped me accomplish with my physical life. The ordainment hangs over my desk as a symbol of love and that others support me in my continuing journey of health.

Happiness is...

The Mormon Tabernacle Concert tickets (THANK YOU AMY AND MORGAN!!!).

Happiness is... Richard caring and loving and being MY brothers keeper.
Happiness is... answered prayers.

Happiness is...

looking over at Citlalli through out the (incredible, spirit filled concert) and seeing her grin as big as I was--throughout every piece!

Happiness is... being around others who enjoy sacred music as much as I do.

Happiness is...

Myrna back in the temple after almost three years!

Happiness is... her basking in the moment as much as I was.
Happiness is... this conversation:

Me: Myrna, this has been a perfect day!
Myrna: You know, people talk about having a perfect day--and I have never understood or believed them. But I think you are right. This HAS been a perfect day... [then with a shock and fast realization she blurted] We better SHUT UP! The day is not over yet.
Me: [knocking on wood while chuckling at her "Shut Up"!]

Happiness is...

Discovering a safety net that apparently has been there the whole time, but was undetected by my eyes until it was covered in snow. What an insight to the blessings God already has in places of my life--that go undetected until a storm hits.... but His love was/is always there. Sometimes it takes a storm to help recognize and see what I could not see before. 

Happiness is...

Early morning legos.

Happiness is...

a Mr. Potato head eyeballed snowman fiance right outside my front door!! Guess my goal of meeting someone in 2012 really did work! ;) (Jinger says he has a bit of a cold heart, but he can be warmed over.) :)

Happiness is... hearing my Brother and sister-in-law giggle and laugh together.
Happiness is... a good hug.
Happiness is... is the inspired, spur of the moment beautifully played prelude music--played before a church meeting.
Happiness is... following through on a prompting.
Happiness is... being able to get on my knees to pray.
Happiness is... is being able to get up off my knees after praying. ;)
Happiness is... the comment out of my newly turned 7 nephew as he knocked on his dad's door in the middle of the night, crying because he didn't feel good. I scooped him up and took him to rock with me in the living room. He told me that his mind was dizzy and he wasn't feeling good. I told him I was sorry... he then looked up at me and said, "I want to ask my dad for a blessing. I think he would give me one."
Happiness is... a worthy priesthood holder.
Happiness is... the priesthood of God.

Happiness is...

God's family. 

 Happiness is... my family.

Happiness is... Jesus Christ.

Tis the season to love and forgive, hope and cherish, work and serve, accept and appreciate. 

I am grateful for fasting.