My request and consistent pleadings were granted and for a very long time I was not plagued with the typical girl agony of the heart of crushes. God blessed me so much in fact that a little bit of an alarm came when I took a collage class where a dear friend/professor told all the single students that we were to find someone, we did not know, whom we were attracted to, and bring them to class. Yes, this assignment not only stressed me out, but I realized that I had put off "looking"/crushing for so long that I didn't even know how to find someone I was attractive to. Sounds pathetic I know, but none the less it was true.
Once I finally DID find someone that I was attracted to, he ended up being a MARRIED MAN who was not wearing his wedding ring! After approaching the third married man(!) I called my professor and said the assignment was too dangerous and she could give me a F, but I was not about to go lusting after someone that would yet again prove to be married. :)
Well there is a little bit of the background so you can understand a little more fully where I am coming from. Back in about Sept or Oct of last year, I was completely caught of guard when a kid walked by at church and my heart almost skipped a beat. WHAT IN THE WORLD!? This was not a feeling I was used to feeling. The more I observed him from a far off the more I became curious as to who this person was that not only was I spiritually attracted to, but physically too. That just hasn't happened much in my go arounds. Don't be getting your hopes up, I have NO announcements! ;) This kid just proved to provide a very annoying little crush. Since I had trained myself to not crush--having a crush was pretty much horrible. I was smitten by a kid that didn't even know my name. Pathetic, I know.
Seriously, when a boy distracts you from the sacrament, you know your crush needs to be crushed! The crush, thankfully is gone, but something so sweet came that I could have never predicted.
This kid bore his testimony once about his love for his grandmother and how touched he was to be around her and to hear her sing. His love for his grandmother pricked a reminder in me of how much I love elderly folks. His testimony stirred an idea which was followed by some strong impressions.
For a few months prior to that time, I had pondered over how the Lord would have me spend my time. I thought of my stake and because not being connected to a family ward, I just didn't know any elderly folks outside the sweet women I see every week in the temple and a few neighbors.
During his testimony, I immediately thought of my parents branch up in the mountains. I thought of the handful of widows that go to their branch. The promptings came and for the last six months I have been taking every Thursday I can to go and be with them. That is where tonight took me.
This is the beauitful Myrna!
She lives all alone--literally in this small little town in the mountains. So rural is the town that in the winter time, she is the only person in the whole town that lives there. This woman is as strong as an ox and yet as kind and loving/with the humor to match Pres. Faust at the same time. On a previous visit I found her up kitchen COVERED in home made suckers/flavorings and molds. She has a habit of making suckers of all different flavors, shapes and colors so that she can have something to share with others. I had a wonderful evening with her as we worked on some of her life experiences with her family.
Before I left her house, Myrna said that she had had an interesting night. She said that she had always wondered what she would do if there was a knock at her door in the middle of the night. She lives alone and the thought quite terrified her.
She fell asleep in her chair and there this morning at 1:30am there was a knock on her door. She woke to the sound and her heart started to race. Maybe it was just her sub pump kicking on? But sure enough the knock came again. Completely struck with fear, this good woman of God said a prayer and asked God if she should answer her door. To which she felt she should. She cautiously opened her door to find two grown boys shivering on her doorstep. They had gone up a canyon road in their little car to see if the snow pack was gone. The mud overtook the wheels of the car and they were stuck in a ditch. No coat (it has been snowing off and on with six inches this week) here they were shivering on Myrna's porch. She took out her chains drove them to their mud stuck car, and pulled them out. (Told you she was an ox!) She told me she was so glad she prayed and that she was not only protected, but could help them.
As we have gone through her life's stories we have laughed, and have had beautiful moments discussing how God's hands have been seen. Myrna was God's hands last night. This faithful woman--that lives literally alone in the middle of the mountains.
We hugged, not wanting the evening to end. She warned me of the elk that would no doubt jump in front of me and said that she would pray for me. (And thank goodness for her prayers because a huge elk did run out in front of my car and so close was it to my car that the mud flying off it's hooves as it ran splattered my windshield...! It was a close call and my heart pounded for a good little distance after slamming on my brakes.)
I left her house in deep gratitude.
After a visit, I usually jump in my car and say prayer of thanks... but tonight was more. I pulled down the empty town street and parked. I could not help but just cry in gratitude for the evening I was just given. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for so many things. I then remembered my "crush" and how seriously annoyed I was to have a crush. (I speak only for my crushes and to those of my friends that seek to have crushes--all the more power too you! Just don't pass the "crushing" onto me. :D) I don't know if I would be having these amazing Thursday nights had I not been in love with a kid that caused me to eat up every word he said... which words were how much he loved being with his grandmother. That set the chain reaction/reminder of how much I love being with wiser in years folks too!
Looking back I see how that crush cultivated a place in my heart (even if it was at the time a drooling cultivation) for a story to be heard, an idea promoted by the spirit to start visiting the widows I so dearly.
President Monson talked about the one widow that he went to go see at a care center after midnight. She said she knew he would come to which his response was how could he not have come. I truly felt that tonight. These choice women. Who remain faithful even when alone. Sure they know how to stay busy, but nevertheless they still face waking up alone, spending the day alone, and then going to sleep alone... all to just face the same "aloneness" the next day. These women have/are inspiring to me!
And now--I must thank God for that inspired crush! For through it, the seeds of my Thursday nights were planted in such a way that the spirit and the book "To the Rescue" had a perfect ground to cultivate an action. And oh how this tree has sprung up into the most choice fruit!
My folks ask how I will drive the distance to just stay the short time... how can I not?! These women are so choice, and my life is better because they are in it.
God bless that inspired Crush!
And God bless that I no longer have that crush. ;) THANK GOODNESS! :) ha ha. All things shall work together for our good.
And God bless this sweet sister, who has trained herself that in her moment of fear--her first reaction was to say a prayer! What a great lesson she has taught.
What a choice choice evening it was.
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