THE PARABLE OF THE LITTLE GIRL WHO KNEW SHE COULD

   A few Monday's ago before seeing the one and only beautiful grandma Ratcliffe, I stopped at a park by a nearby park. As I sat in my car with my window slightly down, I noticed a girl (I would guess her to be about 11 or 12) working hard to ride her bike. Her training wheels were on. Her dad was walking by her side. When I noticed her it was just at the time I heard her cry out to her dad “I can’t daddy—I will fail!” To which he replied that she could. I heard “fail”, but perhaps she said “fall”. I watched her from my car and sure enough, the somewhat attentive father (I say this as he seemed to be a bit more pre-occupied with his drink then watching her) wasn’t paying attention and the little girl, even with training wheels, biffed it. I think the father started to pay a little more attention after that. :)
    This father daughter team went around the park several times. After 20 mins or so I gathered that she must have fallen a few more times, because I saw the dad riding the pink bike back to his truck while the little girl ran along the side. I thought about her fears with her bike and with the perspective as an adult, her petrifying fear of falling was nothing that would alter her life or be some big significant change/death, but to the little girl, her fear of failing was very real and at times overwhelming even to tears and stating that she would fail. I rejoiced in getting watch this little scene play out. I left the park and spent a choice night with grandma and was blessed with an FHE treat of seeing/being with Micarie and James.
    Well fast forward to the next night. After work, I had had a strong impression to go visit a friend. I met her a few months ago on a visit led by God. A friend and I knocked on her door not knowing what we would find. This sweet sister desired to go to church but without a supportive husband found that she did not have the courage. As we talked to her and testified of God’s love and support for her, she mentioned that her Pblessing said she would do a great work in Relief Society. She expressed desires to make it to that meeting. It was a choice meeting and my friend and I left her door praising God.
   Well this Tues night (a week ago) I felt impressed to go back to her house to check in on her as it has been a few weeks since she has answered any of my texts. After work as I was studying, I felt impressed to go right then. I did—and found no one home. I left a note on her door and I pondered what the Lord would have me do with the rest of my evening. I knew He had sent me at that time for a reason. ?? I felt impressed I needed to go to my stake center. *An impression to go to this specific building that I never go to except to attend stake events.
   I pulled up in the parking lot and smiled as I noticed a little girl trying to ride her bike with her dad… okay God, this is the second night in a row that you are having me watch a father and a daughter ride. I knew that God had a lesson to share with me for I know there are no coincidences!
    I parked my car and like the awesome creeper I am, (thankful for my tinted windows) I watched as this girl (older in years) was trying to ride her bike. This girl didn’t have training wheels. I noticed two little boys (who I came to find out were 3 and maybe the other one was 5 ??) were riding their bicycles all through the parking lot—no training wheels. I marveled at how small they were and how much older this girl seemed to be. The girl made several long rides across the parking lot. After a while she made a huge, wide turn in which I heard her very joyfully say, “ I did it! I did it!” And the father replied, “You did it! You made that turn. You did awesome!” I smiled from the vision of “I can’t…I will fail” verses the “I did it- you did it!”
   Thanking God for letting me witness two very similar situations yet completely different outcomes and determinations, I got out of my car. By this time a mother and another little baby had joined the father and three children. I worried that they might have seen me taking pictures and video from my car so I decided to head into the church building to find a place to study. I wanted to approach the little family and thank them for being in the parking lot that night, but I decided being suspected as a creeper and being confirmed as one… I rather just be suspected! :D I grabbed my bag and shut the door and to my surprise I found myself walking towards the family (opposite direction of going into the building).
    I called out to the presumed parents and told them they didn’t have to say “yes”, but that I wanted a picture of their girl as I had just witnessed a discouraged little girl the night before biking with her training wheels and I was so impressed by their little girl’s determination. The family graciously entertained my wish, but before the picture was taken, the mom turned to her daughter and asked her to share with me why it was so special that she could ride her bike that day. This mother, Andrea, then mentioned that she would cry if she talked about it. It wasn’t until that moment, that I noticed that the little girl, Kaja, was very special. With a big smile, and help from her parents she told me that she had cerebral palsy. (Cerebral palsy is a condition that brings along many disorders that can involve brain and nervous system functions, such as movement, a stiffness of muscles and normal reflexes. To what extent little Kaja has I was not sure.)
   Kaja’s mom said that for the longest time Kaja has wanted to ride her bike without training wheels. The doctors didn’t know what to tell her. Kaja’s mom and dad didn’t want her to get her hopes up as it seemed it might be physically impossible for her. But Kaja didn’t know it was impossible. She just knew she wanted to ride her bike like her younger brothers. The previous weeks her physical therapist had been working with her. The pedals and training wheels of her bike were taken off which allowed Kaja to sit on the bike seat and have her feet “walk” around/support her. After much practice, the day had come when the father and mother wanted to take her to an open area (church parking lot) to give her a place to try riding with pedals and no training wheels. And there, in the parking lot, a loving father ran by her side.
   At first Kaja had a very hard time turning, and when she would half crash (I say “half” crash, because her father was always close enough to help ease the blow) she would not be daunted. Kaja simply reposition herself on her bike and tried again. Over and over she did this… Crashing a bit, but determined and never quitting. Her tone of voice didn’t even flirt with the temptation of being discouraged. And always--as she worked at it, was her awesome father--getting his fair share of a workout as he ran behind her. (With children, is a gym pass even necessary?! ;) )
   His daughter, was doing the impossible.
   I already loved watching Kaja ride without training wheels… But hearing of the challenges that not just threaten to make life more challenging, but are actually apart of Kaja’s everyday life, made the symbolism of the moment all the more choice.
    I took their pictures and the sweet family with the sun going down climbed in their car and left. I went into the church, found a piano and started to write a song about this little soon to be nine year old, very determined, Kaja. As I played and sang, who should come to the glass door to listen… the Elders in the area!
   Talk about sweet life lessons to witness… On one hand, one girl, consumed with thoughts of failing with training wheels. On the other hand another girl, designated by life to not to be able to enjoy such thing as riding a bike… but sweet little Kaja seemed oblivious to her/life’s “designated” opposition. She just knew she wanted to ride. And every time she crashed, she got right back on and tried again. The first father, a bit neglectful and not providing an undivided attention (but perhaps through the crash of his daughter, caused him to be more mindful/diligent father [that is an insight right there into what our own trials can be God’s tool to help someone step up to their duty and responsibilities]) vs. a father that although didn’t prevent all of Kaja’s falls, He did help not only soften the blows but was right there to help her get back up on her bike and steady her as she started yet again—ever running, always in arms each (or a very speedy jog) to aid and assistance her.
   I am constantly being reminded of our journeys and those whom God puts in my path. The bikes (covenants, desires, commandments) I need/want/should ride. The hands that are ready to steady. The temptation to be discouraged as others seem to do with ease what I struggle and sometimes cry to do. What the world says I can or can’t do (or more often my natural man/fears) but with desires clothed in righteousness and firmly planted/determined—God will help me/YOU/us with the seemly impossible, and make it possible.
   Seeing little Kaja’s experience reminded me of an experience my grandpa once had in the grand canyon with a juniper tree. The PDF is attached. SO SYMBOLIC!

 From To Him That Believeth: Claiming Heaven’s Blessings 

                                                         -- Frederick and June Babbel

   I learned a valuable lesson a number of years ago when my wife and I visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona. We were at the north rim when the naturalist guide showed us a twisted, gnarled, old juniper tree which was literally growing out of the side of the rock canyon wall by the lookout point. We wondered how it could possibly continue to grow. Then our guide told us an interesting bit of history in connection with this tree.
   A juniper seed is shaped somewhat like a cantaloupe seed. One of these little seeds fell into a crevice near the edge of the canyon wall. Everything was solid rock. It appeared that the seed could not possibly germinate since there was no soil, little if any water, and virtually no sunshine down in this crevice. Yet this little seed was not covered about these limits. It had but one burning desire and that was to fulfill the measure of its creation!
   In a manner that we cannot fathom, that little seed germinated, implanted roots into that solid rock, and began to grow. Gradually it raised a shoot through the crevice where it could seek sunshine and a little rain.
   As it continued to grow and expand into a full-fledged, through misshapen, tree, its trunk and its roots began to exert a continuing pressure on the outer ledge of rock. Finally the pressure became so great that one entire large section of the canyon wall broke loose and crumbled into a massive heap near the base of the canyon, nearly one mile straight down.
   The guide said it was estimated that forty million tons of rock lay at the base of this tremendous canyon because that little seed didn't know it could not grow. It just wouldn't give up.
   No one is beaten until he stops trying. No one! We have often heard the admonition, "…without faith no man pleaseth God..." (D&C 63:11.) We need to discover how to gown in faith. We also need experience. A living faith is a priceless possession and the quest for it is worthy of our combined energies of mind, body, and spirit.
   Persistence is one of the essential components of faith. Don't give up! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do; not that the nature of the thing itself has changed, but that our power to do is increased!" (Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards, comp. G. Homer Durham [Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1944], p.355.)

   If we continue to exercise trust in Him, He will be jogging with our every moment. I believe He softens the blows and crashes as much as possible without taking away the needed experience and exposure to trails and the exercising of our faith. With each needed stumble, a loving father will also be right there to help me/you back on, and start pedaling again!
   He can calm fears and cause us to ride on waters, even in the midst of a storm. He leads by faith. And we can/must/will walk by the faith He leads.

  The little girl who knew she could... and did!

And the parents who believe/support her every step of the way!

Kaja's zippy little brothers!

I believe in working for/towards fulfilling the measure of one's creation. 

I am grateful for Pres. Uchtdorf's insight to the atonement: 

"...while the Atonement is meant to help us all become more like Christ,

it is not meant to make us all the same." What an insight!! More on his talk here.

Happiness is: General Conference and my family. 

The two combined= 

IDEAL!

DID YOU EVER SEE AN ANGEL?

 

To the woman who helped me learn to love sunsets and seek for morning light.... To the woman who is the example to all angels on how to be a cheerleader for those they love in the race of life....

 To the woman who loves and loves, and then loves some more without ever expecting anything in return.... the woman who will do anything to make you smile... who loves laughter--and when she laughs the heavens must rejoice with such an angelic tone...

To the woman who is constant and has a sure foundation.... a woman who's faith does not waver.... to the woman who taught me how to say my prayers and believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ... to the woman who is a role model for showing Christlike love... who taught me to care for the one... the woman who encourages, lifts where she stands and reaches out to those who are in despair... a woman that gives all and expects nothing in return...

A woman who's ears can come up with any part to any song... ears that although none of her family can quite do music in perfect pitch like she can--she still encourages us to sing and to rejoice in God through music... to the woman who had her love for baking, but graciously steps aside to be a sew-chef to the dreamboat in her life.... to the woman who bares with patience what the Lord entrusts her to do.... to the woman who could move a mountain, if she was asked to... 

To such a woman...

 She is my hero. She is my example. And I am striving to become more like she is.

(You now can't say, you haven't not seen an angel...
                                          for I have just showed you one!)

I  am grateful for mothers who know!

Happiness is being with YOU!

"WHERE IS THE PAVILION?"

 

(Isn't this bird awesome!?! I didn't even dare look at the price tag as I was just taking a shot of it for Bishop Madsen to see as it reminded me of an illustration he did once (see here) ... but I wish I had looked at how much it was! I am back in the AZ airport come Aug, and I might just have to see if this beautiful fellow is still there and if I have saved up enough to buy it! IN LOVE!)

Studied President Erying's Pavilion talk. I have listened to it several times, but actually reading it again for this time around, I was impressed with some new ideas. For me, this was deep.

Q: What did he mention was the reason why the Lord had allowed him to stay longer at BYU Idaho?  (I freaked out as I caught this) 

He said: 

"He [the Lord] let me seek counsel and gain His permission to stay at Ricks College. He knew all the reasons that my service might still be valuable at the college and in Rexburg. [Just 30 days after he declined an enticing career offer, the Teton Dam burst]...I was there [Idaho] to ask Heavenly Father frequently in prayer that He would would have me do those things that would help the people whose property and lives had been damaged." 

A: !!!!!!!!!!!!  God used/in part, had him serve longer at BYU Idaho, because of his ability to seek (asking) the will of the Lord/His council in frequent prayer--TO BLESS THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND HIM. What a complement! And among the Leadership skills and other things President Eyring offered, like the bird at the top, one of his "gifts/things" to offer--was that he, president Eyring, seeks the Lord's council in frequent prayer. Seriously, this concept as a principle of leadership, influence, career, WHATEVER, is a crazy insight into how one should manage/attend to all their affairs. 

!!!!!!!! :)

Can the Lord say such a thing of me? Would/could I be used as a tool in the Lord's hand in a like manner because He knew I would seek His will/ask Him/council with Him frequently? Jared obviously knew someone who would council with the Lord for the benefit of others in all things when he kept going to his brother "the Brother of Jared" (as the book of Ether states). Is this not a timely reminder of how my communion with the Lord should be, on a daily basis?!

Sweetly, at the end of his talk, (there is awesome stuff, I can't begin to scratch the surface- you can read it for yourself here ) he says: 

"...if you go for the Lord to bless others, He will see and reward it. If you do this often enough and long enough, you will feel a change in your very nature through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Not only will you feel closer to Him, but you will also feel more and more that you are becoming like Him." 

If we "GO FOR THE LORD" (in our every day lives, work, home, family, simply breathing/living) to bless others often, we are promised: 

• He will see what we do and reward us. 
• Q: Reward us with what?
• A: A change in our very nature-through the Atonement of Jesus Christ
• We will feel closer to Him
• Find ourselves becoming more and more like Him
• Not to mention, in serving we can become what Nephi states as a declaration of his soul: "I have charity for my people and great faith in Christ that I shall meet many souls spotless at his judgement-seat."--2 Nephi 33:7. (How would it be to say "I HAVE charity...! Not just striving for it, but actually saying I have it...?! What an amazing thing to be able to say...)

So I Bryndi K, am and want to/will strive...

in all things.

Can't wait for General Conference!

I am so thankful God has "let" me stay teaching Mission Prep, a little longer. 

I love my students.

And like Nephi, I too can say, I glory in my Jesus,

for He has redeemed my soul

from hell.

  

Happiness is placing one's faith in Christ.

p.s.

Not only can we "go for the Lord" with our actions and our very wills in serving Him... but when it comes time for picking where we will stand, whom we will believe, where we will put our faith and trust... 

GO FOR [meaning CHOOSE] the LORD!

:)

EVER BEEN SEEKING FUTHER LIGHT AND KNOWLEDGE FROM GOD?

What do you seek?

This past Friday, I was given the day off. It is not very often that I take a day off, for lots of reasons, but when I do, boy they are sacred days! I felt impressed that I need to "go to Salt Lake". But that was the extent of the impression. So after getting a few things off my plate, I set off to Salt Lake with no idea why or to where. All I knew was that I was to go.
    As I entered the city I felt impressed to hit the building east of the Conference Center. I could see it in my minds eye, but could not recall what building it was. I guessed it may be the genealogy building ?? Turns out it is the Church Library.
   I took a tour and for two hours (the allotment of the parking space I had) I had a crazy enjoyable time! The spirit was rich and as I took a tour of the Library I was overwhelmed with the reminder that I did not want to/nor did/do I have time to idle away any time. There is SO much to be learned/taken in, appreciated, loved in that building. Outside of service, I found myself wanting to serve my mind and heart by soaking in whatever goodness others have recorded. Seriously, it is moments like that when I wish I was a speed reader and didn't have some of the limitations I do. BUT God is the one that blessed me with such weaknesses, and I am to be grateful (and I am) that I even know how to read and write.
   While in the building my awesome Sr. Missionary Tour Guide pointed out the picture up above. She said that the man that painted it was from Chile and was not a member of the church, at the time. The picture depicts he and his family in a field with their eyes/faces towards heaven--seeking further light and knowledge. The spirit of the painting, was consuming. A year later or so after he painted the picture, the man found what he and his family had been looking for. He became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! Did you notice the date of the painting? '90! So recent! So many seeking for truths about where we came from, why are we here on this earth, where will we go after this life...? All those questions have answers, for which one can know for themselves! Click here for answers to such questions.What do you seek?
   The missionary then showed a small little clip of one of the journals in the Library. The story, deeply touched me and I could not hold back the tears. Thanks to a friend for finding this, Pres Packer shared this story in the 1980 April Ensign.

 … Joseph Millett, with his large family, was suffering through very, very difficult times. He wrote in his journal:

“One of my children came in and said that Brother Newton Hall’s folks was out of bread, had none that day.
“I divided our flour in a sack to send up to Brother Hall. Just then Brother Hall came.
“Says I, ‘Brother Hall, are you out of flour?’
“‘Brother Millett, we have none.’
“‘Well, Brother Hall, there is some in that sack. I have divided and was going to send it to you. Your children told mine that you was out.’
“Brother Hall began to cry. He said he had tried others, but could not get any. He went to the cedars and prayed to the Lord, and the Lord told him to go to Joseph Millett.
“‘Well Brother Hall, you needn’t bring this back. If the Lord sent you for it you don’t owe me for it.’”

That night Joseph Millett recorded a remarkable sentence in his journal:

“You can’t tell me how good it made me feel to know that the Lord knew there was such a person as Joseph Millett” (Diary of Joseph Millett, holograph, Archives of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City).

The Lord knew Joseph Millett. And He knows all those men and women like him, and they are many. Theirs are the lives that are most worth recording.

   The movie, I felt like, caught the emotion perfectly. What a man brother Hall was! To go out seeking door to door for food for his family. And finding no success, he went and had the faith enough/humility to pray and asked God what he should do, and then had the humility to go knock on one more door! Surely, he knew that others were in "tight" situations with food just as he and his family was, but isn't it in loosing our lives to God, is when we find our lives! Then--also--in the sharing of what we have, it is magnified. Not meaning we will never run out of food, but didn't the widow, who gave what she had to the prophet first--have her very meal and oil increased!?! The spirit of adding a little more water to the soup, is the very spirit of giving all that we have...
   And this Joseph Millett... I believe if I had had the prompting to, I would have shared my flour. I would like to think I would have divided out my sack, but would I have just been tempted to say, "that is sad" and carry on without another thought of how to help? I hope it is not the latter, but how often do I say a prayer without a thought of being the hands?
   Jospeh's very character/nature was that he gave without prompting or being asked to give. And GOD KNEW he would share and sent Brother Hall to him. This has to be among the choicest of all complements and testimony, that the Lord knows us and will use our very strengths/natures to bless the lives of others.
   I was moved by this story and filled with a determination to seek for greater charity. I want a heart like Jospeh Millett. And I want the courage and the humility Brother Hall showed.
   My journey did not end in that building, as all those pieces were just blessings God wanted me to be showered with. And showered I was!
   About 20 mins before my parking spot expired, I decided to run over and see the Relief Society building. I have never gone inside before.
   A sister met me and suggested I go down and view the Relief Society, Young Woman's and Primary exhibits in the basement first. I was the only visitor in the whole building! The Sr. Sister Missionary that was with the exhibit let me walk around by myself. I found myself starring at the wall of all the Relief Society Presidents since the Restoration. I could not contain my emotions--and the flood gates let loose. Because I was the only visitor, I became very aware of how loud my sobs seemed to be and I tried to shush my tears. Oh how I love being apart of a society that seeks to: Increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seeks out and helps those in need. Don't tell me that God is not behind an organization that is so choice and beautiful. One that allows woman to fully use the attributes that shape and define womanhood--to the fullest capacity. I LOVE Relief Society and the woman associated in it!
   My mins winding down on my parking space, I walked quickly through the rest of the exhibit as some precious reminders/insights stirred my soul.
  I was getting ready to leave the basement when I met a volunteer sister missionary who is currently serving as her Stake's Young Womens President. Without "reason" she started sharing with me all the ways she was plagued/attacked with debilitating anxiety as a young mother of six and what she did to combat/fight/overcome her anxiety. As she spoke to me and told me her story, I had to make sure my jaw was not hitting the floor as I had been seeking and praying to know how to help a friend who is battling such a storm. (I found the "full" reason why God has prompted me to go to Salt Lake!)
   All the words/stories/experiences this woman was sharing with me of what fear and anxiety had done to her, were the exact tear-filled words of a choice friend. God sent me to Salt Lake, to gain further light and knowledge, from a volunteer missionary that just happens to only be in Salt Lake once every two weeks on Friday afternoons- in the basement of the Relief Society building!
   God knew that my friend could not make it to Salt Lake with her current life situation, but in answer to much prayer, He allowed me to go--for her!
   Chalk it up for Him again! GOD--IS AWESOME!
   And in case you are wondering what this Missionary did to overcome her consuming anxieties... she studied/did Personal Progress as an adult (over six times)! What a testimony/tribute to that inspired program.
   What does this look like to you?

  Iron Man excitedly showed me what he had made for me... a temple! He apologized that the angel was not white as he only had a Darth Vader Lego guy, but he was more than happy for him to be used as the angel Moroni! I will tell you what, this Proud aunt has this awesome temple sitting right in front of her computer screen!
  I totally can see the temple! Can't you?! (*Yes, Darth has a face, but his beady red eyes and white monster mouth staring up at me just couldn't compete with THE angel Moroni, so yes the head is turned around! ;))
   Oh the creation of a seven year old! Whom I love.

I am grateful for inspired days off!

I am grateful for those who seek for something better.. 

Happiness is my Mission Prep class and students.

Blessed Mailbox: home of the white envelope

   
Oct 6, 2012 ... (10:16 AM)

B: Rosa!!! did you just hear the news?!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
R: What news???
No I haven't, what happened?
B: Pres monson just announced boys can serve a mission starting 18 years old and girls can START SERVING/go on a mission at age 19!!!!!!!!
Oh my word! Oh my word! My whole body is filled with the spirit!!!
What a day what a day!
R: Are you serious!!!????? Ahhhh :DDDD
B: I know! I know! Oh my word! Felt still feel the truth and ahh of what he just announced!!
R: Bryndi, I'm crying at work
lol
M: Rosa--I thought of you the whole time of the announcment...And I was weeping. If anyone has been prepared to serve a mission it is you because your heart loves god!
That is if god tells you it is right for you.
R: Bryndi, I know I need to go. ... Honestly, i truly believe and feel this is an answer to my questions. Bryndi, I cannot hold back my tears and happiness ha ha
M: Rosa!! Go on a mission! As soon as you can! I am weeping ... I feel this was for you ...

For one who does not do a phone during General Conference --- this text conversation happened moments after President Monson made his announcement!

And now about 5 months later....

Rosa did Skype with her family. And afterwards everyone shared their testimony and love of not only the Gospel but also Rosa.

She has been preparing and patiently been FAITH filled for this moment.

She is ready!

She already IS one choice servant of the Lord!

And this servant--will be a CHOICE missionary!

Sister Rosa Maria Morales - April 17, 2013 - Nevada Reno Mission!

Love you girl!!

Happiness is seeing someone change--for/because of God.

I am grateful for white envelopes. 

"Oh, there's sunshine, blessed sunshine"

   6:40 a.m. I hear the recorder be played. In my little condo you would be surprised to know how good the acoustics are! I had just knelt down for a morning prayer and I thought how I needed to go quite Ireland so he didn't wake up his folks or his three sleeping siblings. As I tried to concentrate through my prayer, half-hearted--music does this to me--all of a sudden I notice the song he was trying to figure out... it was "I am a Child of God". I smiled as I prayed and no longer wanted to keep him from waking up his family. After this aunt was very impressed with the whole song of I am a Child of God, he played hot cross buns. :) As I left my room to head for work, I was impressed that he was in the living room and when he spoke to me he was whispering...(that is another miracle as he doesn't whisper in the morning very much, but I could tell he was "trying" to be quite and not wake up his siblings, which just might have been a first-EVER!!) :D
   Thanks Iron Man for adding happiness to my morning!
   As I drove into work, I started to sing There is Sunshine in my Soul. I chuckled a bit as I entered the freeway noticing the pretty drab morning. Cold, no visible sign of mountains let alone any sunlight.

 As I sang:

There is sunshine in my soul today,
More glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky,
For Jesus is my light.
Oh, there's sunshine, blessed sunshine
When the peaceful happy moments roll.
When Jesus shows his smiling face,
There is sunshine in the soul.

   I smiled at the application of being surrounded by NO light, literally, yet I know who IS my light. And His light is peaceful and happy.... There is sunshine in my soul. And whenever I choose to focus on Him--there always is sunshine.
   I re-arranged Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam "adult" version and added a verse:

"Dark clouds may threaten--
to destroy my peace,
But if you will look inside,
you will find in me..."

A sunbeam, a sunbeam, Jesus wants me to be.
A sunbeam, a sunbeam, I will be a sunbeam for Him.

   So my morning goes! It has been a challenging month with a big, new project at work. I am constantly overwhelmed with gratitude and God's goodness in the choice revelation He offers me and my co-workers. Most of my projects I cannot do on my own and it takes coordinating many efforts and hands. I am literally dependent on the work/ideas/inspiration of others to get most, of all my projects done/accomplished...that is very humbling needing to be dependent and trusting of so many others skills, time and efforts... but oh how I see God's hands!
   A few weeks back I was pondering and praying about how to make a display work. And in the early morning to my mind came an idea and how the project could work. It was not like Russel M. Nelsons heart stint inspiration--but in my job, it felt like the answer was a "parting of the veil" idea. I discussed this idea with Jeff, and he ran with it. **Which I was so grateful he was open to listening too and trying the idea. IT WORKED! And of course it did, if God inspired it, why wouldn't it ?? but I am still in aw with God's brilliance, even to my little projects. Not in aw that He knows what to do--that is a given, but that He is so willing to help and inspire, guide and lead processes (not world changing, just job sustaining) if asked.
   As I started this project and moved the ball forward, I was wishy washy and knowing that we were taking the project like it has never been done before (just going against a lot of different grains) Patti (inspired) made the comment that she trusted me for she was sure I had prayed over it. WELL- the fact is I hadn't even thought to pray about whether we were going the right direction! I was humbled by her comment and stepped into the bathroom to pray. Felt peace, move forward. That was the first bit of peace I had had with the whole project. Needed that reminder.
   And then yesterday as all the pieces were to come together for the project ships out tomorrow, Marin made the statement of where was my confidence? I was being wishy washy again of how it was all going to come together. She was inspired to question me, but what she was really doing, was reminding me.
   Christ said, "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?"- D&C 6:23
   I was humbled by Marin's statement. Why was I wavering, when I already had had a confirmation from God a few weeks ago?!
   Yesterday as I needed to have some "unknowns" come together, Anna, (one of our awesome Designers at work) with inspiration, made a huge part easily come together. It was a bit of a problem and with in moments she had a brilliant fix. And it was an easy one too when we were set out to do this BIG fix, Anna and Cynthia were inspired with a simple fix! And Cynthia, was the answer to prayer as well as she put all the pieces together on the tables (I have no "girl" in me for arranging things on tables) but Cynthia, the master, patient organizer/arranger made it look stunning.... it was just a humbling day to see the hand of the Lord--for this project. I told Anna as soon as we pack up tonight I will be hitting the 7 am session tomorrow at the temple and will just be crying a lot. She told me not to cry--but it is a good cry. Every time God helps me through/gets me through a big project, AND HE ALWAYS DOES, I seem to have a let down of tears and gratitude afterwards in the temple.
   My heart is full.
There is Sunshine in THIS soul!

Happiness is I am a Child of God--played by a 7 year old on a recorder.

I am grateful for Mission Presidents who come and speak at Sat night Stake Conferences.

I am grateful for the reminder of REMEMBERING the Lord's peace that came-- and in that peace is where my confidence must/needs/should/will/wants/can abide.

Happiness is choice co-workers, who God uses to answer many, many personal prayers!

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing."

 

I love that quote from President Eying...! I know it to be true. I loved his whole talk! (click here)

This video... is AWESOME!

14 DAYS OF LOVE!

I LOVE Valentines! Seriously, one of my favorite holidays! Mandi was doing 14 days of why she loves her Husband, and so I wanted to do the challenge too, just "tweaked" it a bit to fit my "love" needs! ;)

Happiness is a productive day that actually FELT productive.

I am grateful for clear, quiet mornings, with winter mountains, blue sky and just my thoughts.

ONE GIANT FIREBALL

How to feel "young" as a 30 year old in just 3 seconds or less...OH BELIEVE ME, there is a way!

Just two weeks ago as I read the announcement at church about a single adult fireside I felt impressed I needed to go. I pulled up and thought it was odd that the place was not packed, but as I walked in my natural snow white skin turned a rosy pink ... the further I walked into the chapel the more I realized that I had been taking the word "young" in-front of the phrase Single Adults Fireside, for granted! I was the only one 20+ years younger than at least half of the room and for the rest of the room, maybe I was up to 30-40 years younger!

I contemplated backing out of the building as my face became crimson but I felt impressed, "no, stay." My thoughts as I went to the middle of the chapel to sit down were "Okay, Heavenly Father, just so you know these women are going to think I am here to steal their Men!..." To calm the blood filling my face cells I simply told myself, "It's okay, I will just pull the 'granddaughter' of the speaker card."

Seriously, who ever knew that the word young would be so pertinent to "single adult"! :) But even with my cherry face, (which I am sure the Lord and all His angels were having a good chuckle at my squeamish complexion) God was very much into the details of this inspiring night.

The fireside theme was:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

A theme that I felt I could not walk out on, embarrassed at my long brown curls or not, I knew it was going to be good!

A picture Grampy took while serving in Germany

From my notes and recall of the string night...

Brother Wolferts was born and raised in Germany. When he was 1 1/2 years old the his family went through their first bomb raid. His mother recalls how awful the sounds were. The dropping, the hitting, the detonation and the exploding. Their apartment was hit. The city was in flames. Brother Wolferts's parents rushed to a neighbors (cellar I believe) but only to find to their horror that it on fire. They had a choice, stay and hope to survive the fire or rush through the flames and take their chances with scenes outside. His mother and father took he and his twin brother- pressed them to their chests and covered them with their coats as they dahsed through the flames and onto the street. There were 47 others in that cellar. All of which were killed in the flames.

I believe he said that no one in their small branch had been killed that night, however all were scattered.

2nd bomb raid, in a different city. Another bomb hit their apartment and crashed through and landed in their neighbor's bed. The destination miraculously did not go off. (I believe it was at this time or before that Brother Wolferts's father was taken into the military to help fight the war.)

3rd bomb raid in a new place. His mother was in the city when she heard and saw the bombs. She only had time for a quick prayer. A man from out of no where came and grabbed (one or two) of the twins and told her to run for the hill. They hid in a dug out that had some type of wine barrels.

Refuges, with nothing, Brother Wolfert's family was staying in a new city that was invaded/taken over by the Russian solders. No one was allowed in or out of the city.

I believe after two weeks his Uncle, mother's brother, snuck in by night and told them they were going to sneak past the guards/line. A group that was warned before hand, tried sneaking before them. As Brother Wolfterts family crouched in the night they heard gun shots and shouting. All that tried to escape before them were killed. At this point Brother Wolferts (age 3 1/2 I believe) started to cry. His mother had witnessed once before a woman trying to shush her baby and ended up suffocating the baby to death, so his mother dare not cover his mouth. His twin brother joined in on the crying.

Brother Wolferts said even at that young age he can still remember the young Russian solder that found them and had the barrel of the gun pointed down at him. The solder started scouting and Brother Wolferts Uncle pleaded for their lives while handing over his wrist watch. And for a wrist watch, they were all spared. Shortly there after they were able to sneak away and escape.

Brother Wolferts, years later was called to be the Mission President where he grew up. He said so much heartache, and people not wanting to believe in God or give Him a chance because of the devastation that was seen/done to so many... but Brother Wolferts testified that there are three things that will lead one to have an unshakeable trust in the Lord.

1.) Have a richer understanding of God's plan of Happiness. 
2.) Have a better understanding of the principle of "opposition" and how it is in all things.
3.) Have a greater understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

He then asked:

How can we learn to trust if we don't overcome doubt? Christ healed the blind, not blindness. 

Out of his extensive library his most precious piece and the most value to him--is his mother's journal. She said (wish I had the exact quote) in essence:

 I was surrounded by one giant fire ball, but I was at peace and felt, 'whatever will be will be'. The only thing I could do was pray that Heavenly Father would give me strength; and He did.

Brother Wolferts ended his remarks with the reminder that it was not fun to be on the cross, but it was the joyous view of the victory that the Savior kept... and He who led a sinless life...led that life for sinners.

So many wonderful thoughts! This is two firesides I have mistaken to be for "young" single adults... but now I think I am going to have to start taking Grandma Ratcliffe with me! Then I will truly be there as a granddaughter and not as someone trying to steal the silver-greys! ;) ha ha

The following Monday I studied Elder Nash's amazing talk from GC... Soo good.. I was impressed with all the reminders on faith. And because of the giant fireball testimony from the night before, when Elder Nash quoted Doctrine and Covenants 27:17 and the shield of faith, I was deeply moved by what faith has to offer me..
 ...if used, I "shall" be able to quench "all" the fiery darts/giant fireballs. That is a pretty hefty promise.

This is what I decided my shield of faith would/should be made out of...

And obviously so many more things can be placed on there, but for starters.

God is amazing...

This morning, after a somewhat long late night, I arrived at the temple with a heavy heart. God knew the condition of my heart, for who should be there to greet me-- Sister Hyatt! She was subbing for Marva. We started chatting. And the questions she asked struck some chords and tears and annoying boogers were dripping. She was very inspired and I praised God for putting her on my path.

Then it was seeing Sister Mckown! She is in the MTC right now working at heading to Hong Kong. Didn't plan on running into her!

Then it was Anamea whom I visit teach, and a sweet Tongan sister that I have loved for years (we only know each other from seeing one another in the temple), and Berniel whom I served on a shift forever with, and as if God just wanted to see how many marshmallow blessings He could shove into my already full heart, as I was walking out the door, one of my old young woman, beautiful Jori, was walking into the temple! I did not get to go to her mission farewell talk yesterday and was bummed about that. But here she is headed off to the MTC Wed, and God let her cross my path just now. I haven't seen her in nearly a year.... and He did it just because He is kind like that.

Don't tell me God is not a God of miracles! I know He has all power. I know He can change my very nature. Jesus is His son, and my brother. ...And although the fireballs are allowed to sore and destroy the very air I breath; I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Happiness is making a real, dates included, commitment for progression/change-with/for God.

I am grateful for a cousin who took the time to write an email for a hurting friend.

 Is my shield ready?

MOMENTS OF GOD...Lessons on/in "LIFE".

Do you want a few profound, yet simple thoughts...? I have had a handful cross my path and I am still chewing them over. They are beautiful. They are deep. I believe they are all insights to the nature of God. 

PATIENCE, I THOUGHT I HAD SOME
In speaking with Hill she told me of a conversation that she had just recently had with her husband.

After some colic days and nights with their fairly new cute little wonder, Eric commented that he had always thought he had patience/was a patient person... but with the change of events, he came to the realization that what he thought was his strength of "patience", really was just his life lacking tests in/of patience. It wasn't until his patience was tried, that he found a new truth to himself. That patience was not necessarily his strong point, and for the moment it was in, non-existent!

How does one go 100% confident of one's attribute, to a view of I am at 0%?!

Perhaps Peter knew this when he declared:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

The trial of my __(place my whatever "vice" here)___, being much more precious than of gold....
How can I truly know if I have kindness, unless I am given the opportunity to react to something/someone not kind. How strong my love is unless I am tested in the lack of love. How deep my service is offered through a non-convenient opportunity, the depth of my hope amidst a hopeless odd... the virtue of forgiveness, temperance, holding the tongue, replacing the thoughts, turning the cheek or shutting the eyes, speaking no guile.... How can I know if I achieved any sort of Christlike attribute in strength, if the strength of the attribute (or in my case often, the lack of), is never tested?

This life is a test, a time to prepare to meet God. Looks like seeking for opportunities to work on the flaws or polish off what I am confident is crystal, when really it just glass, is still heavily needed.


UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, IS THAT HOW HE DOES IT?!!!!
The other day Julie and I were headed on our way to go make a visit. In catching up Julie mentioned just how much she loved her daughter Livie, and then basically said: "She [Alivia] is completely dependent on me and I serve her 24/7. How can you not love someone you serve so much? The more I serve her the more I find myself falling in loving her even more."

Livie literally can do nothing to sustain her life by herself. She needs to be fed, changed, bathed, hugged, burped, picked up, put down.... a mother and father's selfless work.

My thoughts immediately turned to Heavenly Father.... is this a secret into how He unconditionally loves me?! He is constantly serving me 24/7 and whether I think I am independent/okay to take care of myself, in all honesty He grants me my very breath and even the dust is greater than me, but, through His son's atonement, the very life I live, 24/7 God is serving me... What does that say about His love for me? Because He is always serving, He falls more and more in love with His children, with me... what does that tell me when I am not fully loving, or when I am serving and still not feeling ample love for who I am serving. It's a statement for sure of the condition of my heart. ...a deep insight in HOW to love others. ....

"Unless [I] lose [myself] in service to others, there is little purpose to [my] own [life]." --President Monson

Beautiful thought.


IF YOU ONLY KNEW...
During fast Sunday last week, a sister shared this awesome experience. She had to set her baby down to go get a bottle or something... and the baby started to cry. She held the baby tight and whispered in the ear that, "If only you knew how much I love you, you would never need to cry. I only have to leave you because I am doing things for you--because I love you." And as she set down the baby to hurry to the needed task, the words from Heavenly Father pressed onto her heart and mind, "If only you knew how much I love you, you would never need to cry. I only have to leave you because I am doing things for you--because I love you."

Such insights to the nurture and admonition of the Lord... choice.



BURDENS OF SIN...
A few weeks back we had a HORRIBLE snow storm. It was so thick and heavy. As I was driving to go meet with a vendor for HM, I turned a corner and saw this little grove of trees. ... immediately the thought came to my mind,

"Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin."--2 Nephi 4:28

I smiled at how God could not have demonstrated any better to my mind what it means to "droop". This little grove is a bunch of vivacious overgrowth just off the side of the road. I was interested and concerned about the burden they were caring.

For several days, because of the cold, all the trees in the area seemed to remain hunched over and lifeless.

Any sin in my life is exactly the same way. And if I am not careful,

and don't take care of the "snow" by doing actions that can "melt" snow, in time the sin (could be lack of faith, or trust, unwillingness to obey, stubbornness or pride) will mold me completely into something opposite of what I was born to be. And not only will I burden bound, but frozen from movement "progression" at all!

As I drove the rest of the day, I noticed burdened trees EVERYWHERE. No one but Christ, is void of being drooped by something.

After many concerning views in the morning, my heart leaped for joy when the blue sky and sunshine came out. Finally, high hopes that the snow would melt and the trees would have relief. After all, It was the sun, shining on the snow, melting should occur right?!...  in came another life lesson...


Sometimes what I have allowed myself to "droop" in/with, is/can get so caked on, that even a full day in the sun does not have immediate results.  Some burdens are heavier because of the nature the sin or whatever is causing the burden. And just like God will be slow to hear my cries if  I have chosen to not be obedient to Him....being fulling immersed in sunshine--the process to "awake, my soul" can only be awoken by being where the sun is, it is a process of consistency... and forever how long that takes. Staying where light isn't (choices I choose that take me away from such things) keeps me in the "shade"/darkness of the world, where if I remain I will end up like the icecycled tree.

So at the cross roads of my decisions,

 what do I decide to be/do? Droop in sin?! No AWAKE, MY SOUL! Let me surround myself with Gospel light, Christ's atonement, via: Church attendance, meaningful prayer, fasting, scripture study, service, love...  for however long the days may take!



I may only be able to melt one limb at a time, but that is one "limb" that will no longer be DROOPing!

It is so much better to be in the light, in hopes that He will melt our loads... for He has promised He will. Am I willing to expose myself to constant "sunlight" day in and day out, to allow the SON's light "the atonement" to make the difference?

When a cross road of life comes, of whether to move forward with Christ or figuring things out on my own--I need to work it out, IN THE LIGHT!! His light! The Sonlight!


BLESSED BE THE NAME OF MY GOD FOR IT...Over and over I have had the impression to Study Enos.... so many crazy cool thoughts, but this particular last week, meant something so personal... very personal.

Enos 1:1 reads:

 Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man—for he taught me in his language, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—and blessed be the name of my God for it—

... instead of typing a statement... I am going to try and do a data dump of what my thoughts were as I picked apart this verse. When I read Enos 1:1, I had no intentions of picking apart the verse, but my mind and thoughts were as follows (my thoughts in color.)

  Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man [How did he know/believe he was a just man? Cross reference, who is Enos's father? Oh Jacob, little brother of Nephi, saw the Savior when he was in his youth, killer sermons... Yep Enos has all right to believe and know his father was a just man.] —for he taught me in his language, [Why is it so important for him to be taught in His language? Just reading "his language" my first thought was oh, his dad taught Enos in Enos's language... teaching a teenager, teach them in teenager language, if you are teaching a toddler, teach them what a toddler understands. Further inspection of the words, I found that the language taught was Jacob's (Enos's Dad's language). ... I have heard that statement often in the scriptures, what is the deal/why is it important. Cross reference-okay lots of other folks taught in their language... Okay, he really isn't going to teach him in a language his son can't understand, so then what is a language?? Search dictionary:  a body of words, system of linguistic signs/symbols any set system of such symbols. So a language= a lot of different parts that make up a systematic way of communication something. Different pieces that work all together to create something beautiful... sooo Enos's Dad taught him in his language-- What is his language? What systems did he have to offer (LIGHT BULB FREAK OUT MOMENT).... Jacob knew how God worked. He had seen Christ, he knew how to have prayers answered and obviously used the priesthood... each one... A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE. And here, in what he knew, the "language" of how the spirit works, or the "language" of the atonement in his life--Jacob (the dad) was teaching Enos what he himself had come to know of how His personal language was with the gospel, was with Christ! He taught his son in His language=what HE KNEW of the workings of God.!! (SILENTLY FREAKING OUT AT THIS INSIGHT, more reasons to come] and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord [Huh, there is an "in" in that statement. I could have sworn it read and also the nurture and admonition, not "in the"... nurture and admonition. Nurture and admonition was the style by which He taught the "languages" = Workings of God with!]—and blessed be the name of my God for it [and Enos praised His dad for teaching Him about the things he knew  of god "his language" in the style of God which is nurturing and counseling-admonition.... (THIS SCRIPTURE IS ALL ABOUT BEING A TEACHER?!!! WHAT!!]

Sooo... I know that is random, but what you just read was pretty much my whole thought process as I dug into a verse I have read at least 100 times... now for the extra tenderness of the verse in my life. Letting you see my thought process is yes random, but part of what I learned. I was called to be an institute teacher for mission prep. There are a whole lot of details that go into receiving the call because for one I am not even a member of the Stake to which called me to serve.

Concerns: Just letting you into my thought process, for that is where lies the beauty of this tender, personal mercy/insight for me.

I have been home from the mission for a long time, 7 1/2 years. I never was assigned to be a trainer and there is nothing wrong with that, but I always feel a tinge of sadness that I wasn't "good enough" to train someone. (And yes I do know where those feelings come from. I am just exposing my full raw self to you at the moment, so please hold on.) The Stake also said that every person who even starts their mission papers will be required/requested to attend the class. No pressure, right.All these young men and woman are going to serve God.... back to my thoughts:

God, Thou knows who I am. Doest Thou really want me to set the example for others to follow? Remember that just a few weeks ago, I got this text that I know states what others think of me, just don't verbalize it... [never mind the "to" instead of should be "two"]. My ways tend to be not very matching with other people's ways. I am cool and always encourage others to find out how Thou communicates with them, but I don't want to impose all that Thou has brought me to know, on them and I don't know the scriptures...

   Those were the thoughts as my mind was plagued... But from Enos, sweet Enos, I was given the kindest revelation, that I have my own "languages" with God. My own language "parts and pieces that work together in a beautiful flow" with the spirit, and how I receive revelation. God was telling me through Enos's comment of His father's teachings--that GOD wants ME to TEACH in MY language, the languages I know... that is why I was freaking out. My "style" is to be in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the "what" is teaching the Languages I know: the Language of prayer, the Language of the spirit, the Language of discipleship, the language of relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father. ... I am not perfect in any of them, but they are my own languages... and God wants me to teach them- expose my thoughts/ways/insights that He has had me learn... and hopefully in the end some student will "bless God for it". As I thought about Richard G. Scott, he does not dance around issues or allude to how he gets things. His talks are out right: here are the steps I took, to get A. B. C. He always teaches in his languages of how God has worked with him. ... what a beautiful insight, and kind encouragement to teach in my language-- which is the language God has taught me.

Cool.


NO DON'T HAVE ME...
Last Sunday I anticipated going to Davey and Mandi's little Mazie Moon's blessing. Before hand, I had a pretty intense scripture study. My soul was filled with fire as concepts of the blessing of agency came to my mind. I finished my study and rushed to the blessing. 

I was so happy to see Davey and Mandi! I knew this was Davey's first baby blessing since him joining the church and being sealed. When he got up to give the blessing I noticed he had a paper which to read from. *I later found out that he had an inspired bishopric member comment that often most people think the priesthood is spare of the moment/ inspiration needed on the spot and at times it has to be, but as long as one is directed, someone can contemplate and write down inspired revelation when under the direction of the priesthood power and authority... Davey did just that. He went to the temple last week in preparation to give the blessing and when he wrote down the baby blessing in which he would/did read, he felt the spirit confirm to his mind and guide his thoughts and what he penned. I did not know this at the time, but while he was giving the baby blessing, the spirit filled my soul and seemed to serge through me very being during the whole blessing. I have very few times experienced such a powerful baby blessing. Afterwards when I found out that he had prepared the way he had I could not help but smile and praise God for such a priesthood holder.

After the blessing as we prepared for the sacrament, I had the impression that I needed to bare my testimony. I seemed to sink in my seat with just the thought. "Oh no, Heavenly Father, not me. I am sitting on a bench with a whole bunch of folks who do not have anything/want anything to do with the gospel/church and there is even handfuls that are not members. I know them, they know me.... Oh I can't testify of agency, they will think I am pointing my finger at them." So where the pleadings/agony that filled my soul. But how could I not share what God had obviously just prepared my mind in the study to share. Swallowing hard I got up and shared my testimony on the gift of Agency. I sat down and none of my fellow bench friends looked at me. I didn't blame them, however I can not deny what I felt impressed to say... for they surely were not my words.

Davey stood up and apparently it was his first time sharing his testimony in that ward since moving in Aug or Sept I believe. He testified of how church brings people together. He had had the impression to invite his friends, which he did. They came. He encouraged all to embrace truths and come to the light. It was wonderful. Some tears were shed. 

After the meeting, a little leery with how bold I felt the Lord had had me be--I made a comment to Mandi and Davey how I didn't want to get up but felt compelled to do so. Mandi then reveled that as soon as she and Davey saw me come in the building, they started praying that I would bare my testimony. Davey then became a little emotional in saying he felt I shared exactly what he had been praying someone would share for his friends to hear. (It was not me, but the Lord.) I teased them that if they both had that much power/influence with the Lord over my life, they should both start praying for my husband to come out of the wood works then!  

It was beautiful. I hate/ashamed that I hesitated. But I am thankful the Lord gave me courage to say what he would have me say. 

I left the parking lot, after a good chat with Davey and Mandi, praising the Lord and singing all the way back to my ward, full volume and salty tears dripping. How I love when God allows me to be around people who love Him and are striving to be like His son. All people are children of God. And bless those who are actively striving to live that way/raise their family in a Christ centered home. I am often overcome with deep emotions what I get to witness such devotion in the lives of those I love. 


GROW TOGETHER...
I was speaking with Jinger the other night late. She commented how she was striving to work/figure out between being perfect vs. being pure/having purity. She mentioned that one attribute seemed to be a wheat and on the other hand the same attribute seemed it could be a tare. She was striving to know which one was which and how to pull out the tares. To my mind came Mathew 13:29-30

 27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?

 28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?

 29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.

 30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

If you try pulling up the tares (weaknesses) you will root up your wheat (strengths). We are to let them both grow together... until God's harvest (He is the one who makes weak things become strong) he will gather all the weakness and bind them and burn them!! And where did the tares come from anyway?? An enemy hath planted them... but Either tells us that God gives us weaknesses, so we will be humble and come unto him. And our God also allows Satan be on the earth. Perhaps Satan (allowed by God--opposition in all things) sows the tares which he thinks like in the garden of Eden (Eve partaking of the fruit) will mess up God's plans... but God allows/gives us weaknesses, through the enemy. 
The application is deep!

So the idea of being perfect, in the sense of, a field of only wheat--not happening! Throw that type of perfection out the window! Weaknesses and strengths grow together! But how sweet it will be when the Lord's appointed time comes and I am left only with my strengths... what a day that will be!

--

*For the "thought" dump--it is nearly done! If anyone has hung on this long, great job! This was not my plans today, but felt over and over to write these things that were/have been on my heart and in my mind.. 

Happiness is someone picking up kneaders for a friend, which ended up being a really cool prompting. 

I am grateful for Jesus Christ being my Savior.

I am grateful I get to "try" again.

BLACK CLOUD?

It started with a garage door screeching to a stop. Dryer heat not happening. Vacuum stopped sucking. Vita mix sputtering. House heater, not functioning. Computer program failing. Washer broken, twice. Car swirling, mountain rocks scraping, bummer tearing. Soar throat soaring and tonsils flaring.

...And all packed into an already packed last 4 weeks... :)
 
A few weeks back my Bishopric spoke in Sacrament meeting. The Bishop gave the guidelines to the councilors of finding a Christlike attribute they wanted to emulate for the coming year and to base their talk on that attribute. I was touched by the thought and knew immediately that for the next year I needed to be more grateful and strive for D&C's:

"Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things."

and

"...receiveth all things with thankfulness..."

...more gratitude give me. 

So with this thought, and all the events listed from my month of $$ expenditure amazingness... little by little my thoughts have been turning.

Washer broken first time. Okay gratitude that the fixing part was 20 bucks and my brother could fix it. Broken not even 3 days later and a 100+ part=brought me to a few times sitting in the laundry mat, in the quite, reminiscing about mission days at the laundry mat... choice reminiscing time.

My car swerving right but then God miraculous guiding me completely left, smashing and doing a 180 into the mountain rocks instead of when I was going right headed into the lake. I chuckled as I pondered on how I had made a commitment to be grateful for all things and God was surely giving me some quick constant tests to concrete my commitment! :) The morning was below zero. I was in high heals and nylons. In 10 years I have never received cell coverage at that particular spot. Prayed for a signal for how would I hike the ice road in heals? Mom and dad answered, came down with a truck and pulled me out. How thankful I am that God took me left instead of allowing me to continue right! For the heavens to be parted and a signal to make out the cry for help.

Being sick reminded me of the blessings of not only how awesome throat soothers are but that in a larger picture the Lord was answering a fast and pleading to overcome a natural man, to a father and mother who brought a whole bag of oils, remedies and mouth wash... down to the priesthood power. 

I have SOO much to be thankful. And these little tests are more easy to bare when I choose to see His miraculous hand in helping me along this path. It's beautiful! 

Happiness is a kind, spirit filled, excited co-teacher who loves God, a lot. 

I am thankful for mountain rocks. 

HAPPINESS IS...

Happiness is...

Walking out of an interview and seeing this

Happiness is...

God allowing true love, again.

Happiness is...

Beautiful, thoughtful blossoms.

Happiness is...

A friend's whole day off spent in labors of love.

Happiness is...

This conversation:

Me: Beaner- would you please say the prayer so we can drive to the cabin safe?
Brynnlee: Sure, dear Heavenly Father please help us not get sea sick, bless mom and dad and that we will be safe and happy.

....reflection of my driving?!

Then all the way up to the cabin this conversation to place. "Bryndi is the vocalist, Ireland does the electric guitar, Doogs the trumpet and I will be the harp. The song will be Families can be forever.." said cute little Brynnlee as she "directed" our musical production. They switched instruments around for 30+ mins. Brynnlee scolding Doogs and Ironman for not coming in on the "right" places-- ! I chuckled off and on in between my "vocalist" parts. :D

Happiness is... Doogy's little grin!

Happiness is...

Friends calling to let me know that they had said a prayer for me to make it home from work safe and that it was bad outside, so I should "leave" asap.

 Happiness is... someone thinking to pray for me out of the blue, with no request from me.

Happiness is...

Time with Grandma Ratcliffe!

Happiness is... when a puzzle with non-ending plain red, tiny pieces is completed! :)

Happiness is...

Coming home to my bedroom door decked out in Glitter, snowflake goodness!

Happiness is...

A thoughtful co-worker making me my "own" cucumber, mushroom, tomato "smores" because I can't do our Smores day at work. Seriously, the platter made me want to cry.

Happiness is... a cucumber ordainment as a reminder of all God has helped me accomplish with my physical life. The ordainment hangs over my desk as a symbol of love and that others support me in my continuing journey of health.

Happiness is...

The Mormon Tabernacle Concert tickets (THANK YOU AMY AND MORGAN!!!).

Happiness is... Richard caring and loving and being MY brothers keeper.
Happiness is... answered prayers.

Happiness is...

looking over at Citlalli through out the (incredible, spirit filled concert) and seeing her grin as big as I was--throughout every piece!

Happiness is... being around others who enjoy sacred music as much as I do.

Happiness is...

Myrna back in the temple after almost three years!

Happiness is... her basking in the moment as much as I was.
Happiness is... this conversation:

Me: Myrna, this has been a perfect day!
Myrna: You know, people talk about having a perfect day--and I have never understood or believed them. But I think you are right. This HAS been a perfect day... [then with a shock and fast realization she blurted] We better SHUT UP! The day is not over yet.
Me: [knocking on wood while chuckling at her "Shut Up"!]

Happiness is...

Discovering a safety net that apparently has been there the whole time, but was undetected by my eyes until it was covered in snow. What an insight to the blessings God already has in places of my life--that go undetected until a storm hits.... but His love was/is always there. Sometimes it takes a storm to help recognize and see what I could not see before. 

Happiness is...

Early morning legos.

Happiness is...

a Mr. Potato head eyeballed snowman fiance right outside my front door!! Guess my goal of meeting someone in 2012 really did work! ;) (Jinger says he has a bit of a cold heart, but he can be warmed over.) :)

Happiness is... hearing my Brother and sister-in-law giggle and laugh together.
Happiness is... a good hug.
Happiness is... is the inspired, spur of the moment beautifully played prelude music--played before a church meeting.
Happiness is... following through on a prompting.
Happiness is... being able to get on my knees to pray.
Happiness is... is being able to get up off my knees after praying. ;)
Happiness is... the comment out of my newly turned 7 nephew as he knocked on his dad's door in the middle of the night, crying because he didn't feel good. I scooped him up and took him to rock with me in the living room. He told me that his mind was dizzy and he wasn't feeling good. I told him I was sorry... he then looked up at me and said, "I want to ask my dad for a blessing. I think he would give me one."
Happiness is... a worthy priesthood holder.
Happiness is... the priesthood of God.

Happiness is...

God's family. 

 Happiness is... my family.

Happiness is... Jesus Christ.

Tis the season to love and forgive, hope and cherish, work and serve, accept and appreciate. 

I am grateful for fasting.