DO IT!

Just felt like I should post this quote today...

"Listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost....You'll have a prompting to say something or to do something in relationship to those that you serve with or in your neighborhood or so forth. Do it! Trust the Lord." - Elder M. Russell Ballard (Ens Sept 2009 pg.53)

I have a testimony of that. I am a believer of having the Holy Ghost in my life. A constant companion, if allowed. Worth every effort to build/have/keep and maintain a relationship with him.

Trust the Lord.

YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS

Monday night was a special treat! Dad cooked up steaks and we had the privilege of having Uncle Paul come over and then were treated by Iron Man, Dooges, and Brynner Bean! Grandpa gave the lesson on Nephi getting the brass plates. When the kiddos would answer a question right they were able to go up to the piano and hit one of the keys. (The piano just got tuned on Saturday so every note is happiness to the ears instead of the painful noise it made before it was tuned!) Grandpa's lesson was all on doing the things the Lord commands.

When little Brynnlee got a question right--it was her turn to go up and play the piano. She can be very out going and talks up a storm, but when in the spotlight, her shy mode kicks in. She didn't want to go play a note on the piano by herself, she wanted her dad to help her. I wondered what Brytt would do. Without giving her a hard time he got out of his chair and took her hand as they walked over to the piano. When they got to the piano he told her all she had to do was reach up and play a note. Brynnlee became very shy and told him she didn't want to. She wanted him to do it. Brytt gently told her that she needed to play it herself, he even offered to hold her wrist to guide her hand to the note, but Brynnlee would not do it. As she got more and more shy, almost to tears--Brytt walked her back over to the couch. And he said, "Brynnlee, you can do hard things when you're not shy".

Our story with Nephi was him doing something that was completely beyond his own power--getting plates from a man who did not want to give them up. As Alma teaches us, in the strength of the Lord we can do all things. We can do hard things!

President Monson in speaking to the sisters of the church said:

"...do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle."

There will always be hard roads ahead of us. Tough decisions, long work days, crisis that may arise, kids needs that keep needing, sleepless nights, situations less then ideal, disappointments, frustrations, and days when the sun just doesn't seem to shine... but we can, like Miss Brynnlee, do hard things when we have the Lord with us. The Lord, like Brytt, will not play the note for us, but I am confident he will hold our hand and even help sturdy us as we play whatever notes are placed before us.

I can do hard things
I will pray for help,
for He will hear
and to my aid,
He will be there!

BACK TO THE WATER HOLE

Today is the day!

My uncle Paul knows how much I love photography and nature--so for quite some time he has been forwarding me one of his co-work's brother's photography emails. It has been such a treat to look at all the amazing shots of Kent Keller, the photographer. It has been even more fun to know that he is shooting these pictures close to home! Last week he just sent in shots of some of Utah's mountain goats!

Well back in July, my uncle Paul forwarded me one of Kent's latest adventures with some wild horses. This email was a little different in that Kent wrote about his experience. I read his email a handful of times, for so deep was the application. I contacted Kent to make sure it was okay if I shared his email and pictures here on my blog. He graciously said yes. So with his permission, I share his email.

>>> Kent Keller 7/12/2009 7:29 AM >>>
Spent a hot and dusty July 7th with wild horses. I got shots of a normally very shy, beautiful palomino stud, a horse splashing water on a nasty bite wound, a swimming colt in over his head and rescued a little buckskin filly that got caught on the wrong side of a fence from her mom and band. By the time I found her she was so stressed she was trembling uncontrollably and kept falling down. When I got her back with her mom the band ran a mile to the water hole. It took the filly 30 minutes to reach the water. She fell down and laid still for almost three hours. She seemed fine after that.

When I read in his email that he caught a picture of a horse splashing water on the nasty bite--did you notice how big the wound was?! (You can click on the picture for a bigger view. I would love for my pictures to upload bigger on the blog, but I am kind of blog illiterate, so if anyone knows how to make these pictures upload big on the blog, I would love to know!) Did you see how big the wound was?!

I immediately thought to how the Savior is living water. If you come to Him you can be healed! The horse's instinct was to splash water on the wound. Or perhaps he just thought it might feel better. BOTH are true for the Savior! I forgot to ask Kent if the 3rd photograph down is the same horse. If it is, from that angle, you can't see the wound on the horse.

So many times, many of us have wounds that are sometimes hidden from others views, some wounds are deep, some are old but are still festering, some wounds seem insignificant compared to others--but all wounds whether the wound of not forgiving, holding a grudge, pride, envy, jealousy, the wound of hate, lack of faith, bitterness, resentment, blame, abuse, criticism--all these wounds, insignificant or not, if not cleansed with LIVING WATER, our Savior, they can become festering sores. Sores that take away our peace, destroy our hope, and most times influence/set a bad example/attitude for those around us.

The horse splashed water upon a nasty bite. The Savior is the living water. He is the healer of all wounds. Back to the thought of the pools of Bethesda when the water moved, the first person in it was made whole of whatever infirmity they had. The Savior's water is always moving.

Am I willing to let Him take a look at my wounds?

When you first clean out a wound, it can be quite painful. Sheri Dew says, the Savior heals without a scar. Will I let Him heal me? Do I immerse myself and my wounds in/with His love and His mercy and His wisdom? He can heal-- will I allow Him to heal me?

I loved the picture of the swimming colt who was way in over his head. Sometimes the choices I make put me way in over my head. Oh how many times has the Savior come to rescue me?! How many times have my visiting teachers come and shared a message with me that I needed. A coworker, a boss, a father or a mother, how many times has the Lord sent them to aid me in my swimming mess?!

Kent's last story left me filled with the spirit. His story about the Filly on the other side of the fence. I asked Kent how he had gotten the Filly back to her mom and band. He said he cut a whole in the fence and coaxed her towards her mom.

This Filly found herself separated from the ones she loved the most. And because she had been separated so long/distressed for so long when Kent found her she was trembling uncontrollably. Our choices can separate us from God and can cause us great distress. So much distress that our agency can be taken away and we are left to tremble uncontrollably in our consequences.

I wonder if she was even more freaked out when Kent, a human (and she a wild little filly) tried to get close enough to help her.

Do I freak out when someone I love is trying to help me get back on the right side of the fence?

God gives us "Kents" all along our fences to help us back to the path. These Kents are our priesthood leaders, the church, faithful-sincere-mighty prayer, scriptures, our living prophet, home teachers/visiting teaching, temple covenants, paying a faithful tithe--all of these are tools to help us get back to our "Heavenly" band. All of these are to help us have/enjoy true happiness.

Many times when we fall on the side of the fence we should not be on, it is sometimes hard to do the things/take the actions to come back. But it is so worth it.

I was intrigued by the fact that when this filly was back with her mother - it still took her 30 mins to travel a mile to the water whole. And when she got there she collapsed for several hours. Sometimes our journey back to the Savior, our living water, may take a little longer...and that's okay! Our weaknesses and our areas for improvement don't fix over night. But He can start to soften our heart immediately! We need to be patient with our one step at a time. We need the Savior and the atonement to become whole. We need the water hole!

So if you know of someone who is stuck on the other side of the fence don't give up on them!

I want to be a Kent! I want to be the one helping cut the hole and coasting someone back on the path remembering that they might be slow at first.

I was touched by the filly's determination to get to the water hole. And when she got there, so long had her journey of hardships that it just took her a little longer recovery to jump back into the full swing of the band.

So it is for me! When I have been walking a road that is not in harmony with the spirit, it may take me a little longer to get back into the full swing of the gospel. But thank goodness Heavenly Father will send me Kents along my way! Thank goodness for good friends, loving parents/family, an amazing boss, and a great bishop who are like Kent cutting a whole in the fence. I am still the one that must chose whether I am going to walk through the opening.

All of this from Kent's photography eye! And today was finally the day I was able to share it with you!

I know that the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is Christ's true church on the earth. I know the Savior lives and loves us. He and our Heavenly Father will never give up on us. An though we may be trembling on the other side of the fence, they will make a way for us to escape and/or conquer whatever is not in harmony with the gospel in our lives. It is ours to endure to the end... In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

GRATITUDE

There have been a lot of sweet kindnesses from the Lord these past few weeks. And even in the mist of all my many weaknesses, He still choose to love and bless me.

COMPANIONSHIP INVENTORY
I wasn't planning on writing about this because it was way too personal to me, but I felt I should.

Did you ever have companionship inventory on the mission? To be quite honest, I didn't even really know what it was until the mission was over. What I gathered is that we were suppose to have a chat with our companion weekly... suggesting areas that we're great in and areas we could work on. When I think of this phrase it has a very negative impact on my brain. Ha, well a few weeks ago I found myself with a friend on evening. After discussing some pressing matters our conversation turned into an 1 1/2 "Let's fix Bryndi" night. I don't believe in coincidences so while all the areas I need to improve on were being pointed out, I tried to keep my mind clear and open to what was being said. My friend was not trying to attack or hurt me. So that made me want to make sure I grabbed all truth out of what was being said. In a way I am so thankful the curfew hit and I needed to leave. It had been a long inventory night.

I got home it was 12:30. I scolded 3 batches of blueberries to dry for Kiss as the tears just started to come.

The day had been okay. It was ward temple night which always makes me happy. I had seen Becca in the temple and she saved a place for me to sit by here in the endowment--and that was just a kind spoiling from the Lord. In the celestial room I pleaded with the Lord to forgive my weaknesses and all the many sins that like Nephi says, "so easily beset" me. A friend after the temple, not knowing what I was pleading for, shared his insight and thought that it was cool that we always fall short because of imperfections. And this was part of the plan. That is how the plan was set up. We need/ed the Savior of course and His atonement to make us whole. Of course I knew that, but what a sweet reminder in the moment of longing for little stupit things to not be such huge temptations. Things that shouldn't even tempt me== little sins that really do beset me.

Well with the night I had already had, I started to conclude that all that my friend had said was true. I started to cry bitterly. I was embarrassed to be seen in the sight of the Lord for not doing all the things my friend said I ought to be doing with my life.

Just as luck would have it (I know it was not by chance) I had not had the opportunity to read the scriptures for the day. It was nearing 1:30 AM and my heart was tormented as with my head with all the things I was not. As I opened my scriptures, I had the impression to read D&C 25. --Now, I am a very read it in order and don't jump around type of girl when I am doing intense study for understanding the flow of the scriptures. I was not scheduled to read D&C 25 for another week with my patterned. But the prompting came and I opened. I actually opened my scriptures fully expecting to be rebuked a little bit and to have the Lord confirm all the things my friend had shared with me...so as I opened up I cried even more bitterly at the thought of Heavenly Father confirming my fears.

Oh the kindness of a loving Father in heaven. This scripture read could have not been more personal and was equal and maybe even slightly more powerful in a way, then my own pblessing. In stead of the Lord confirming everything my friend had put on my "bryndi need's to change" list...in the most personal, and only the way a parent could--said through this section of scripture almost everything opposite of what my friend had said. By the second verse my bitter crying (now when I say bitter it was not a hatred cry or a mean one, but a no comfort and ashamed cry) - this bitter cry turned to uncontrollable sobs of gratitude! Gratitude for the Lord's kindness in speaking to me so personally through section 25.

I didn't finish my study until after 3 AM because I was crying extremely hard for thankfulness. Every sentience struck a chord with me... at the end of the read I received amazing revelation with who I am--and more importantly, who God knows me to be and is okay with who I am and what I am doing with my life. Now this said, I don't claim to have it all together. And those that are closest to me know that I am light years away from even coming close to having my life in balance/order. But I do know that God loves me. And He is okay with me being Bryndi-quirks and all. He is okay with what I am doing in my life and where my focuses are.

I only share just a piece of the emotion/experience I had that night for it is so sacred to me that I don't have words to describe what happened.

Ironically one week from the day, I found myself back in a car with this same friend. I had avoided any chance of being alone with this person, but it seemed to be that we were destined to be alone yet again.

The conversation took off, and some of the same comments from the week before were said, but this time--I KNEW what God thought of me, and I was not shaken, or disturbed. In fact, I don't know if I have felt more strong and sure of me. My friend was a little taken back at my confidence and not budging. And although the first 20 mins into the conversation I was praying to get out of it... we chatted until midnight and I think we both were edified with what took place, well I can't speak for my friend, but I can for myself. :D

I have to smile with all of this, because I know my friend did not have mean motives, or intended to be so intense with analyzing my life--this just goes to show that we all have a path to walk on, and it's okay. My friend's path is not my path, nor is my path their path. In terms of the gospel path--well that should be for all of us, but the things the Lord would have me do, my talents, energies, focus, may not be what he is having others focus on, and IT'S OKAY! We are all here for a reason, and we have our own personal missions to fill.


HIS SHEEP KNOW HIS VOICE
This morning as I walked into the temple I was greeted by one of the most Angelic/Christlike person I know! My mom! She and my Dad are the newest Provo temple workers. They started a few weeks ago, but today was my first time seeing them dressed in white with their name tags on.

My mom has longed to be a temple worker. And it was just last year we were all waiting around the hospital bed praying that Dad would have yet another day to live. Oh how kind Heavenly Father is to us! It was wonderful to see her smiling face. The shift coordinator could not have picked a better face/person to greet people at 5:30 AM in the morning than my mom! She can make sunshine rays look dull compared to the light she radiates.

As I went into the endowment room, I held my breath a little hoping to see my Dad in there. What kid gets to see their folks work in the temple?! I didn't get my wish that time, but I stilled smiled over the thought that he was serving somewhere in the temple.

As the session finished and I walked towards the next part, even 15 feet away I heard my Dad speak! I could not see him, and there were at least a dozen other men speaking all at the same time, but I could hear my dad clearly and knew the exact spot where he stood. To my mind came the scripture John 10:27 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me". All the other men sounded like muffle to me, but because I know my Dad's voice I could hear him above all the rest!

I was filled with pride and gratitude, as I pondered on the tender mercy that the Lord allowed my Dad to work in the temple with my mom. As I walked into the celestial room I then was able to not only hear my dad's voice, but see him. I tapped him as I walked by. How sacred it was to see my parents serving in the House of the Lord, as workers. We all have come such a long way to get where we are right now. And although we have yet still a long way to go, I am filled with deep gratitude to the Lord for letting my parents--with ready/willing/wanting hearts--serve in His house! It is several, several years of miracles to bring us to this point!

I pray that I will be able to hear and heed the Savior's voice above all the other voices that surround me. And that I can be one of His lambs.

SHE PRAYED FOR ME
I went to the church after work today to meet my visiting teachers. They caught me last night and asked if they could teach me today. Honestly-can there be a much sweeter sight then visiting teachers setting up and wanting to do their visits?! Granted, I my girls always feel a little pressure not to miss me and sometimes I wish they would miss me if it meant that they would just see their other sister, but nonetheless, I am so thankful for their devotion.

Well I said, what could be more sweeter? Well, I found something...!

One sister couldn't make it, so the other sweet sister and I sat on the grass as we chatted. She mentioned to me that when she opened the lesson and saw that it was on scripture study she thought to herself that it didn't apply to me and she became a little discouraged with what she could share to help me. I was about to protest that even though I have a habit of study, I can always learn something more or study harder, but before I could get anything else she said she prayed what to know to share with me. She felt to share with me that even when we are not in school, we can still learn great things and keep learning. She said it so tenderly. My eyes became wet. Just this past week as friends were graduating, and I thought of my degree still years away I became sad. Not trying to doubt the Lord's will/plan for me, but still always feeling guilty that I am not in school like everyone else. I hate that I encourage all the sisters to get an education and follow the prophet's council and I myself, am not in school/don't have a degree. It feels like living a double standard. But I am trusting and I do have Faith in God's time line for me.

And even with these thoughts that creeped into me the last few weeks, thoughts I try to blow out of the water with faith... this sweet sister was promoted to remind me of a testimony that I had already been given through a handful of blessings and promptings...I am learning a ton right now, but not through the course of a degree/school work atmosphere, and this is pleasing to the Lord.

She then followed up on a situation I had shared with her the previous month. I told her that after almost four years a miracle had taken place and I had closure in the most beautiful way on a situation that had caused me quite a bit of anxiety.

I have previously (almost 4 years) prayed for closure on a situation, but found none. I found trust in the Lord and his promptings/timings, but yet my heart had some awesomely huge holes.

I excitedly shared how I had had miraculous closure come. She was extremely happy for me. She expressed how she had prayed to the Lord asking him that things would either work out or just to give me closure and peace in the situation I found myself in. Her comment stuck an emotional pool. I was so taken aback that she had prayed so personally for ME--someone she only has taught for the month before and other then saying hi and loving each other- we don't ever play or sit down and chat. Still a little taken back I said (more as a shock statement, then a question) "You prayed for me!?". her answer was true and classic for who she is she said, "Of course Bryndi, I am your visiting teacher".

The wheels in my head started turning and almost as if the spirit was laying some of the puzzle pieces before my eyes. I had wondered why in the world this situation had resolved in my heart but for the previous 3 1/2 years I could never get it to. And so clear and beautiful was the closure that I longed for that, that I had to question what happened to make the closure finally come. Why this time? Why not sometime in the last 3 1/2 + years?

Now, there are a lot of factors I am sure played into this, most of all the learnings, I have not a clue nor do I understand the last 3 1/2 years of promptings, but one huge factor I am sure for--MY VISITING TEACHER PRAYED FOR ME! ANd not just a please bless my girls prayer, but an actual sincere pleading in MY behalf! Twice! Once for this situation I was in, and then feeling like she was inadequate with the lesson to teach me anything, she asked what I could/needed to hear. !!What kinder act of service then a prayer full of sincere faith in behalf of someone you feel powerless to help!? How would she have known what to pray for in regards to me, had she not taken the time to do her visits?!

She took things to the Lord, for me. I was deeply moved by this. I am still floored she cared enough to pray that way for me-me a girl she barely knows. I joked with her that if her prayers have that much pull to help me have closure after so long with out, she had just better start sincerely praying for my priesthood hunk to show up soon! ;) What a sweet daughter of God. I am humbled.

NOTE IN MY CAR
As I came out of the temple today, I found a little package/note in my car. I have no idea how my girlfriend got into the car because I am a freak when it comes to locking my car and house. But there was a sweet little note and a set of bird earrings and a matching necklace. It was so thoughtful.

You may be thinking what is up with Bryndi! It is a testimony of maybe where my head and heart were--the Lord sure did send me a lot of reminders to help combat all of the opposition the past few weeks. For which I am so grateful for!

BROTHER MADSEN
Sunday as we all waited for welfare, I figured something had to be up! Going to these meetings for over a year and all of a sudden the Bishopric just didn't show up without any cancellation?? Not normal. When we went into sacrament meeting, I noticed the different families sitting in the rows. And then how the whole stake presidency was on the stand, and there was NO Brother Madsen. When Bishop got up, he didn't excuse Brother Madsen. Too many things to be odd I thought.

The news was shared, the Lord had called Brother Madsen to be a bishop in our stake. My eyes had a steady leak for the rest of the meeting. I admit I had a 1/2 sec selfish thought of, NO, not my brother madsen!! But in knowing how much he has done for me, how could I be so selfish to keep him and deny so many others the blessings of having him in their lives!?!

It was just over a year ago that I was getting out of a meeting and I saw Brother Madsen in the hallway at church. He was not in my ward. I didn't know him well, but I had worked with his wonderful wife Holly in Young womens and his daughter had been my ward's YCL for 2 years at girls camp. But as I passed this man I thought how cool it would before me to get to work with him. The thought was not a prayer, nor a plead, but a silent wish that I did not see could ever come forth...

A few months later the singles ward was formed and little did I know then, but I would spend every Thursday and Sunday with this great giant of a man.

Never once when I brought over someone to receive a blessing did he ever question me or make me feel stupid for doing so. Whenever I would share about a prompting or insight he was always supporting me with smiles or his little comments that only he could do. In so many ways he made me what to live my life better. In so many ways I am still trying to become the person he already thinks me to be. In so many ways, my life has been blessed by this amazing man of God. You could not ask for a better quiet cheerleader. My whole bishopric is like that. And when I used to say I have the best bishopric in the world... well now there are two of them! Because where ever Brother- sorry- BISHOP Madsen is serving, his ward/bishopric will be greatly blessed to have such a man in their presence.

I composed myself for RS, but as soon as I went into Bishop's office to for an approval, I was flooded with the fact that I would no longer enjoy seeing Brother Madsen sitting in that office. And the tears just started to flow from there on. I took Silvia home and for 15 mins we just listed to motab because I was too overcome to keep a conversation going. Overcome with deep gratitude! Gratitude that this amazing man and his wonderful wife came/were brought into my life and that I WAS blessed to have them for over a year. So many things--if I were married, (and don't get me wrong I want to be some day) but I would not have had this opportunity to have gotten the chance to work with Bishop Larson, Brother Madsen and Brother Stringham. Three men that have influenced my life profusely. And I am very thankful the Lord is still allowing me to keep Bishop Larson and Brother Stringham. And the new Brother Murray seems awesome. Yea to the ward family that now gets to claim Bishop Madsen--their lives will never be the same. Mine isn't...

Here's to one amazing Man of God! Who is full of integrity, honor, and in whom no guile can be found. Here is to an eternal friend. May every person be so blessed to have such a friend...Bishop Madsen.


I couldn't think what else to title this post, other then Gratitude. Oh to a God that doesn't forsake us in our time/need of comfort. Oh to parents who have been allowed and have chosen to serve in the temple! Parents who taught me to love the Savior. Oh to the visiting teacher that prayers, sincerely, for the welfare/well being of her teachee. Oh to the friend who leaves inspired notes. And Oh to a bishopric that believes and loves their ward members. Oh to a Brother Madsen who has taught me more deeply how to love our fellow men.

My cup is overflowing tonight...drinking from my saucer yet again!

IF WE ARE PREPARED

FAMILY REUNION 09

Kiss, Taybabe and Rach all flew in for our Family reunion. Our first adventure was going to Nyk's place to bless Mia. She was blessed several times that she would grasp/hold on to the gospel. What an awesome blessing to have! So important for the coming days ahead. I was just studing about why we give our children a name and a blessing. President John Taylor stated:

"...this command [blessing babies before the church] is attended with beneficial result to babe and to parents, who by bringing their child before the Church manifest their faith in the sight of their brethren and sisters, in Go's word and in his promises, as well as their thankfulness to him for increasing their posterity and for the safe delivery of his handmaiden. The child is also benefited by the united faith and responsive prayers of the assembled Saints."

Pretty awesome to have the chance to show our thankfulness and unite our faith for those in our family! It was really good to be there. Mia, of course was just beautiful.

Grandpa Cloward fishing trips. Most of the days were pretty windy, so we were limited to just troll, but that didn't stop us from having fun and looking at all the beautiful scenery. Thanks grandma and grandpa for the great boat time!


This summer Grandpa and grandma put put in a pavilion, dutch oven pit, and a campfire ring in. We had a lot of volunteer angels come and help with pouring the cement.

We enjoyed roasting little smokies around with the new set up! (Mmmm, I am not sure who's idea was it, Rach's or Dad's but we think we won't ever roast another hot dog, because we roasted little smokies---and there is just no comparison! If you haven't tried it, you should... mmm! And of course Nyk had us end our evening with a starburst on the end of our stick instead of a marshmallow!)


This was our first ever Family Reunion Carnival! The first of hopefully many to come!! The kids had fun trying to earn tickets for completely each task. From sucking water out of a bottle (inspired by Latoya) to the hula hoop toss over your partners body to a hot wheels race on the dance floor, to a color walk for prizes, this will hopefully be an event that is repeated for years to come!


With Kiss's kindness in cutting all of our hair, we were able to take some family pictures. I think family pictures is just another name for contention! :D ha ha! But with 11 grand kids and a grumpy photographer, what can you expect?! (Oh family pictures reminded me that I still have some ugly rats in my cellar that I need to work on.)

Sorry to everyone for being so short fused in my grumpiness. Thanks for being patient! :D


WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A CLOWARD/BABBEL BOOK!

Mom and Dad have put well over 1000 hours into creating the first, "What it means to be a Cloward and Babbel" Book.

http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectID=998217&productId=7
(If you past this link into a browser, you will be able to preview this book.)

We have been anticipating this book for almost 2 years. This was a project that while dad was in the hospital with Cancer he pleaded with Heavenly Father to finish. Finish he did, and with CLEAN BLOOD!

Mom and dad gathered us around the book to share our family Heritage. It was an amazing evening as we were filled with the spirit of the Lord from not only those who have passed on, but this huge work project by mom and dad.

Only one book was published so we could look through it to make any changes before we all printed the copies for each of us to have.

Today, I spent a good chunk of time just going through and comping the text out of the book so I could print it and read it. 34 pages of typed text!!!(This is without all the testimonies of all of us Cloward kids.)!! So I have spent the last 3 hours reading this book, cover to cover. My heart is filled. There is a huge mix of emotion from great example to not so great example. Those faithful and strong with every breath they took, they were centered in/with gospel of Jesus Christ and others that struggled with their obedience to His commandments.

What a labor and sacrifice this two year project has been for my mom and dad. Oh how I value what they put together for our family! Thank you!!!!! In July's ensign the importance of not only doing the work for our dead, but because they are our family, it is our responsibility to get to know them. Know their names, their stories, -- our heritage, good and bad. I have pondered over that. We will be held accountable for "knowing" our family who have passed on.

What a beautiful thing! Mom, Dad--I love the book! Thank you for helping me better know what it REALLY means to be a Cloward. I love the book! It is sacred to me, and will be to my children and their children. Thank you for all your hard work.

And thanks for the great family reunion!!! We truly are not perfect, and anyone close to us knows all of our flaws, but I wouldn't trade our family for anything! I love being a Cloward, and the faith, service, love and music that comes along with the name! I promise to try to become the daughter, you think you already have. I love you both! Thank you for this wonderful gift!

FAITH = MIGHTY MIRACLES

STANDING STILL

Meet Lee and Gerry Shepherd--My adopted grandparents!
For the 4th of July weekend we happened to run into each other at the Scofield fair. It is always quite emotional for me to be around these wonderful, faithful folks, for they mean so much to me.

Gerry has been fighting Thyroid and Lymphoma Cancer for some time now. Food has not been her best friend lately.

Thursday I felt impressed that I needed to go to their house the next day. So strong was the impression that I planned my whole morning around the visit.

As I drove to their house, I noticed that Lee's car was gone. As I went and knocked on the door, I was a little quizzical as to why the Lord would send me to an empty house...but I have a testimony of spending a whole night driving around to see different girls (following promptings as to what house to go to) none of which were home--just so that someone in the stake would drive by at the exact time I was getting in my car from the last empty house visit. She call me up because she saw me going to my car and a needed conversation was given in depth for 20 mins. Why all the empty home visits with promptings? Just for the one Stake gal who needed a friend. God does care about the one!

Gerry finally came to the side door. She didn't open the door but just started signing to me. She had medical gloves on her hands.

I stood on my tippy toes and pressed my face against the top of the glass to make out what she was trying to tell me:.

I was not to come in. She was to be in her house by herself for over a week to try and get her body to respond/become more healthy. I could feel her frustration and sorrow as I watched her sign.

I felt helpless. I couldn't give her a hug, I couldn't wipe away her tears. All I could do was sign through the glass and press an "I Love You" hand to the window.

What a brave, strong woman of God.

I walked back to my car as my cheeks glistening in the sun. I knew only the Savior knew of her loneliness and her struggle to fight the cancer, her fears for the future, and her faith for the present. I know that although her husband and daughter had to leave her house and she was physically alone--I know she was not "alone". I pulled away weeping while I prayed aloud...

What a strength to me! Endurance and long suffering in all things. Thanks Grandma Shepherd for the example you have set up. I know you love God. I know He loves you!

GRATITUDE

These last few days have been a whirl win of emotions. Seemed like Satan was out for blood.

Sunday, I felt I had every reason in the world to pray and plead for help but during church, Yazmin reminded everyone that we need to be filled with gratitude. I had the distinct impression while sitting in sacrament that for the rest of the day I was only to speak gratitude in my prayers. A few situations came up that I was floored with what to do and my natural reaction is to pray for help--but I was reminded again by the spirit that I was only to pray words of gratitude and thanks.

It was a very interesting, but extremely rewarding day of prayer. At times I felt frustrated and like a ship without a rudder, however the Lord did not forsake me! He taught me some important lessons, for which I am grateful for. Sometimes we are to just count our many blessings- naming them one by one- and then we ARE surprised by what the Lord done.

How is it possible for me to forget all the Lord has done?! For he spoils me every day. And yet in the middle of my beautiful garden, I sometimes only focus not on all the flowers and wonderful fruit trees, but rather the mosquitoes and black biting ants. When I focus on those "little" guys, I miss all the amazing things that make up the whole garden!

Count your many blessings was my theme song for Sunday, and it helped me get through some very trying moments.

TEMPLE

Today brought the temple! I haven't gone to the 5:40 AM session in a long time. Usually I make the 6 AM session, but the 20 mins earlier seems to be a natural killer at times! :) But this morning I went, and the place was packed. I was filled with love and admiration for those who seemed so perky and happy to be in the temple that early.

I was able to spend 15 mins alone in the celestial room. Oh how I want my house to be like His house!

VISITING TEACHING

Tonight I went VTing and was touched by my wonderful companion Katie. The lesson was on Temples and having the girls prepare to go to them. Katie found a book from Dessert Book for each of the girls to help them prepare for the temple. She was so excited to give them the book. I watched as her eyes twinkled and she lit up like a Christmas tree as she gave them out.

Oh it was a beautiful thing to see people do the things they are good at. Serving, listening, giving, hugging, talking, singing--whatever their element is that they like to use to share with/bless others--it is a beautiful thing to watch!

STOP, AND STAND STILL

Tonight I finished D&C 5 at the church. Four times it talks about being humble. There are great blessings for being humble and some pretty harsh consequences when we are not. That was for me. And even more, verse 34 seemed to leap into my heart and in a quite way, that only the spirit can do, I felt the words of the verse were written just for me.
God spoke to my heart: Stop worrying, stop stressing and stand still Bryn. I will prepare away for things I have promised you.

I apologized for how I had been and begged for help to be better and to some how get past all the feelings I had been feeling....and for the first time in 4 days, I was filled with great peace. I was filled with a resolve to trust Him more fully and to not worry. He IS in control and that is okay.

So for this random post that I totally broke my bed curfew to type :)--know that I am a counter of my blessings! One by one and am/do ENJOY all the things God has done! I am confident in/with the Gardner of my garden, and I have full faith in His plans to help me grow and become as beautiful inside and out as I promised Him I would be. I have STOPPED my worrying and am standing still.

Daughter of God--in the making.

MIGHTIER THAN LABAN

This past week I finished reading the Book of Mormon. This time around was with a new pair of scriptures. My mission set has become quite close to dieing and in my efforts having new scriptures I have found the joy of marking my clean white pages all up! I have enjoyed the beautiful insights that have come to me as I have pondered over each verse. I have found that it is hard to find a verse that doesn't have something profoundly important within it's words.

I have moved on to read the Doctrine and Covenants...hoping to understand more fully the truths found in there. Even with switching over to the D&C I have started my Book of Mormon study over. I have found that my day is not quite put together unless I read out of the Book of Mormon. I have studied other scriptures for intense periods of time and have found great truths and hidden treasures--but at the end of the day something was missing... THE BOOK OF MORMON! OH Oh I love the Book and know that it is true! It has changed my life and continues to change my life.

1 Nephi 4:1 had a profound impact on me this week.

And it came to pass that I spake unto my brethren, saying: Let us go up again unto Jerusalem, and let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord; for behold he is mightier than all the earth, then why not mightier than Laban and his fifty, yea, or even than his tens of thousands?

Nephi and his brothers have already tried to get the brass plates twice from Laban. First time, Laman went and asked for them... Laban tried to kill him. Then all the brothers went into their house and gathered all their gold/silver and everything precious. They tried to trade all that they had for the brass plates. Laban lusted after their riches and sent his servants out to kill Nephi and his brothers so he could obtain their riches. It was all left behind as they fled for their lives. Laman and Lemuel were not so happy after loosing all their family's goods so they picked up a rod and started hitting Nephi and Sam. An angel of the Lord stopped them and reprimanded them for their actions. The Angel left and Laman and Lemuel start to murmuer again about how are they going to get the plates.

Verse one is the very next comment from Nehpi to his brothers.
So for me--what "Labans" am I facing? An addiction, a bad habit, a faith stopper, or a bad situation. Whatever MY Laban is--the Lord is mightier then it!

RAIN STOPPED

The picture above was just taken last month while I was on a business trip in Park City. There were two different events that spanned the length of the whole week. I saw many amazing miracles! Some so deeply effected me that I had to go into the hotel guest bathroom and weep because I was so overwhelmed. Within two days, two dear friends reminded me of the power of prayer--all we need do is ask.

Patti had a karaoke night planned for all of our Leadership consultants. The hotel had this little restaurant that if we used the outside area, we would have room enough to eat dinner and then have some fun karaoke.

In running around making sure different areas were set up, I lost track of Patti so I went up to the restaurant. I looked outside to a very heavy wet rainstorm. I walked into the restaurant...in order to fit without being too squished, we needed to use the patio of the restaurant...but with all the rain, that just wasn't going to happen.

As I walked out of the restaurant looking at all the falling rain, I silently prayed asked Heavenly Father to stop the rain so that Patti's planned evening would not be ruined. I asked that by some miracle that not only did the rain need to stop, but it needed to come off quickly from the roof so that we didn't have people having to step out on the patio with drops falling on their heads.

I felt as if it was just me and Heavenly Father on the mountain.

I walked outside the hotel onto a platform covered by an awning. I had a full view of the mountain side before me. And there--I watched as literally the blanket of heavy rain pulled across the sky starting from the right and moving left. I walked as I watched the blanket of rain sweep across the mountainside. By the time I had walked to the edge of the awning, the rain had completely stopped. I stepped out in the clearing trying to see if there was any mist still in the air... there was none! I did not feel one drop!

From inside I heard someone yell something about a rainbow... so I walked down the walk way I saw the view in the picture above. I could not take the smile off my face as I knew it was just a "there you go" for Patti from Heavenly Father. A waiter boy came out to where I was to admire the rainbow. He commented how cool the weather had just been and I turned to him and told him he just witnessed a miracle from God.
I walked up the steps (3 mins or so after the rain storm had moved) and looked at the patio of the restaurant. The drips in this picture were the only drips I saw come off of the roof!!

I ran to go find Patti and tell her of what God just did for her. I finally found her downstairs and as I spewed out the miracle she mentioned that she had already moved the karaoke to an inside room in the Hotel. She said it was wonderful that the rain had stopped but we couldn't make people sit on a wet patio. I felt that it was just a test of all of our faith and I wanted to protest with her that it would be okay, but the moment was already intensely busy, so I held my peace and thanked Heavenly Father for stopping the rain and for sending the rainbow for Patti.

We went up stairs and gathered for dinner. This was right after the rain storm-- and with the 20 mins we took getting ready for dinner--here are the pictures we took of us eating out on the patio--it was completely dry!

(Boys will be boys! :D)

Now what is so significant with this whole thing--we had a Laban before us! THE RAIN. God was mightier then the rain. And even though he stopped the rain and everything could have worked out in the restaurant, another way was made available in a different room to do the karaoke...which ended up being a blessing because we were pretty crazy with our karaoke night! ha ha. But what if our Laban is not the rain? What if it is a boy/girl/money/credit card bill/death of a loved one/lack of employment/family member? HE IS MIGHTIER THAN ALL OUR LABANS.

This is not to say that every time we pray for the "rain" to stop, the Lord stops it! There is an awesome song that talks about praying for the rain to stop, and mad when it doesn't, but we didn't know all those praying for it to rain. Our Father in Heaven is merciful and he loves us, and longs to bless us and show forth his might before our Labans! Whatever Labans we are facing! That day he had a blessing waiting to stop the rain. What if we hadn't asked?

Prayer- Bible dictionary-

Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

Conditional on our asking for them. What blessings are we missing out out merely because we just don't ask!?

Now, His will WILL be done! I believe if we have the faith to ask, and God does have an opinion on whatever, He will let us know. And that way we go about doing His will! And if it is His will for us to go forward and use the brains he has granted us to have, then that is great too! We move forward! But if there are blessings along the way, I for one want to be praying and asking for them!

He is mightier than Laban.

DECLARING HIS DOINGS!

For what ever reason Satan has been out to destroy lately! Ha, I know, what an understatement.

Yesterday I was not particularly down--I like to count myself as an optimist. I am convinced there is a silver lining in any situation, problem, struggle, and consequence. But for whatever reason, my emotions have been close to the surface these past few weeks.

My sweet visiting teacher texted me that she would like to stop by and that she was embarrassed for stopping by on the last day of the month. I don't think anyone should beat themselves up for visiting teaching--especially if it is the last day of the month! The Lord gives us deadlines for a reason! Recommends have expiration dates, callings in the church are for periods of times, and home teaching/visiting teaching are asked to be accomplished before the end of the month! The deadline is there to give us a goal point. My dad says "If you don't have goal posts [declared/written down], you will end up running in circles."

With visiting teaching, the goal post is before the month is over. Now, by choosing to accomplish the goal before the end of the month, usually is a great stress reliever. The pressure is off. Same with my weekly temple trips. My goal is to go to the temple before the end of the week. Same blessings for going on Tuesday as there are on Friday or Saturday--the difference is the pressure that happens at the end of the week and the stress of trying to actually get to the temple weighs heavily if I wait until the end of the week to go.

Oh what a tangent for just wanting to say, that I was very proud of this sweet sister for coming even the last day! She hit the goal with flying colors in my book.

When my visiting teacher sent me a text to make a visit, I literally had a window of 30 mins in which she could come. Knowing that she lives nearly 30 mins away from me, I just didn't think it was going to come to pass. But sure enough she text me and said she would be to my place by 6. After weeping a little I smiled and looked up towards the ceiling. I knew that God was sending me this sister...

6 came and she was at my place. We sat and chatted about the exciting things happening in her life. She told me of the Lord telling her to not give up on a particular kid. And then she was told through personal revelation that she needed to tell the kid that she liked him. WOW, I love following promptings, but that would have been a hard one to follow--especially when she thought the kid had no interest in her, they had never dated, in fact she has never had a boyfriend/relationship before! What a trust!

She followed the prompting and told the kid she liked him and much to her surprise he said he had been dropping hints of liking her for months--she was completely clueless to them! :) Bishop just gave a few girls some counsel that when we think that we are dropping obvious hints to the boys--we are not, they are clueless! We need to be bold and blunt with how we feel about them. Obviously this goes a little on both sides! ;) ha ha.

She then told me that on the way to my house, she was listening to her ipod and she received the impression that she needed to start praying. So this faithful sister, being obedient to the revelation given to her, immediately turned off her ipod and started to say a prayer while she drove. She didn't know what to pray for, but just started to pray over her family, her boyfriend etc. All of a sudden she found everyone on the freeway coming to a halt. She slammed on her brakes and those in front of her and back of her did the same. To try to avoid hitting the car in front of her, she pulled out into the side lane. (I am not sure if it was the carpool lane or the right shoulder area??) but at that very moment of pulling out of her lane she was told by the spirit to go back to the lane she was in. As she swerved back--still trying to bring her car to a halt without hitting the car in front of her, a truck that was somewhere behind her pulled violently (from trying to stop) into the lane she had just been in-- he was also trying to avoid hitting everyone. She said he almost side swiped her car anyway, but had she been in the lane, she would have been hit by him for sure. It could have been fatal.

We both wept with gratitude. Gratitude that the spirit prompted and even more that she was willing to immediately follow.

I am convinced that rule, rather then the exception, is that miracles happen over the times when we are tending to His flock! Whether it be VT or HT or just doing our callings. God opens doors, sends angles, and often gives us wings to fly through impossible flaming hoops and invisible passageways! So was it yesterday for my sweet friend.

So was she just doing her visiting teaching?! Regardless of what you thing, can I take a little bit of a snotty approach and tell you what I know?!

I know that God sent my visiting teacher yesterday to remind me of how I used to pray! I have become more casual in my praying habits. I still kneel Morning, noon, and night, and try always to have a prayer in my heart, but the faith in my prayers has dropped a few notches. I have not been praying of the smallest of things, and leaving my mouth service for those that seem to be big and pressing. But this sweet sister, I KNOW the Lord sent to remind me, "Bryn, you are to pray over everything. Council with me in all your doings. You used to, remember? Even over little things. Remember what prayers I answered, small, big, insignificant to the natural man... REMEMBER!" Okay- so I didn't hear these words, but I felt them. I felt them in my heart and my mind. My sweet visiting teacher, though she isn't aware of her visits impact on me, was His tool in reminding me tenderly and kindly that there are power in prayers. And I need to go back to how I used to pray. Praying with great power and faith. I felt no reprimand, just a simple assurance and a tender reminder that how I used to do things was good, and okay and that I could go back to that way of praying.

After my sweet sister's visit in my only 30 min window for the day, last day of the month-just a girl wanting to show God that she would do what he asked her to do, blessed me deeply/significantly. I was filled with a resloution that I had habits that I need to cling back to. And all of this came, not in condemnation, or reprimanding--it all came in love and peace. A quietness... to stand a little taller, be a little more faith filled, to pray over and for anything/anyone! To adopt back into my life the things that I know work for me regardless of how others view them.

So with this thought... At the end of my scripture study today, I was thumbing through my Book of Mormon and opened to the 2 Nephi 22. Such a good chapter--compare to Isaiah 12:

And in that day thou shalt say: O Lord, I will praise thee; though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortedest me.
Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.
Therefore, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
And in that day shall ye say: Praise the Lord, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted.
Sing unto the Lord; for he hath done excellent things; this is known in all the earth.
Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion; for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee.

In my scriptures, when the Lord answers something in my life with a verse or I feel the spirit confirming what I read was true--I put a spiral swirl over the verse and write out to the side what revelation I received or I state what the answer was to me.
...This is very personal to me and I do not share it for me but for the praise of God and for the fact I just feel I should. My swirl is over vs 4. In my scriptures I wrote this last year:

"And in that day shall ye say: Praise the Lord, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted."

"2.22.08 - I have been struggling with the idea of sharing all the miracles I see with others. I have not wanted the praise of men- and I don't want them to think for one moment that it is because of how I prayed or anything to do with me. This past week I have pondered over stop telling people of His goodness--this scripture came with the feeling and words that I do need to share and I will continue to pray to the Lord and ask that he allow me to give Him all praise and all glory. This scripture gave me much comfort."

So may it be known to anyone God has read this blog--I DECLARE HIS DOINGS!! I speak of things I know for myself. God is a God of miracles. He does answer prayers! Small ones, big ones... ALL SINCERE ones! The smallest sparrow falls and he knows it. We are much greater then a sparrow (although I think they are pretty great.) We must follow our impressions and promptings! They can be felt more when we sincerely, pray and study the scriptures daily. God will give us missionary opportunities! We just have to ask! He does open doors, and amazingly enough he allows us/gives us the ability to A.S.K.! Thanks for dad reminding me, A=Ask S=Seek K=Knock and in return of using our agency to A.S.K we will receive R.F.O. R=Receive F=Find O=Open.

How does one receive things from the Holy Ghost, one might ask?! It all starts from the fruit of Repentance!!! Moroni 8:25-26
Repentance=
Baptism=by faith=
fulfilling commandments=
brings a remission of sins=
which brings meekness/lowliness of heart=
with those in place
COMETH the VISITATION of the Holy Ghost=
which fills us with hope and PERFECT love=
which love endures by diligence=
unto prayer=
until the end shall come=
DWELLING WITH GOD!!

All those things are the fruits of repentance. What a powerful tool I need in my life every day!!

I love that it says that the end "shall" come. There IS hope smiling brightly before us! It's not if the end will come, or when, IT SHALL COME!! That means an end to our suffering, or woes, or our sorrows, our strugglings.

I am declaring that I know that God lives. I know that Jesus is the Christ. I know that God hears our prayers and answers them. Big ones, small ones! I know we can become better. I know we can have hope and should have faith in the things God has told us will happen.

Oh to be born in a day when there is so much truth on the earth! Oh to my wonderful parents who had the courage to have this number 5--to put aside their desires/dreams so that I could fulfill/have mine. My soul rejoices and I am consumed with gratitude, wonder and awh.

Joseph Smith is a true prophet. I know he did see God the Father and Jesus Christ. Through him, the gospel was restored to the earth.

The atonement is for all of us to partake of daily. Christ is the author and finisher of my faith!

I testify that He lives!
-In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Declaring his Doings!!!

MEET ROSILINNE

Yesterday I left work feeling I needed to head over to the mall and go to a store where I had met a sweet single mom in one of the stores. I gave her a Book of Mormon and challanged her to read it and find if it was true for herself. My prompting to the mall, I figured was just to follow up with her. She was there and she had started to read and admitted that the past week, she got all through 1 Nephi and had felt a difference in her life. It was wonderful to reconnect with her! I left her store with yet a 3rd hat and felt I was good to go over to the Church. I figured she was my only reason for going to the mall. And anyone who really knows me KNOWS I hate shopping with a passion. I almost rather go to the dentist! So there was no reason to stay any longer at the mall.

As I walked out of the mall, I noticed 3 boys dressed in black with piercings all over and black spiky hair, walking in front of me. In front of them was a woman in an electric wheel chair. I didn't think she was moving fast enough for these boys and I was curious how they would react to her. They all cut in front of her as she tried to make the handycap door open... and then, after they cut in front of her, one held the door open so this woman could get through. I could not help but smile at their kindness. They held the door open for me too and I remarked to them that we needed more people in the world that are considerate of others. What I thought were boys, turned out to be men! I was impressed by their kindness.

Well, I got talking to this woman and just felt drawn to her. The past few weeks I have prayed over feeling like I was not a great neighbor because I am just never home to care for those who live around me. And I have expressed my desire to care for those wiser in years then myself.

My heart has been turned in stores whenever I see a sweet older man/woman sitting with their grocery cart--I find myself making sure they catch my wide grin as I walk by. I have had quite a few sessions of prayer letting the Lord know I really want to be my brothers keep and love those around me. Well Ros was the answer to much prayer.

Rosilinne fell asleep while driving back in 1993 and was hit by a bus. When she was taken to the hospital she had so many things broken and messed up the doctors could not believe she was alive.

She told me of her struggles to get better. She spent almost a year in the LDS hospital trying to have her body rebuilt. And yet, here this peppy woman was at the Mall-- in her electric chair--buying flat bread (that you can find in the food court) for her sister's family of 8. She told me she often comes for several hours to the mall and goes and watches movie after movie just to get out of her place. She told me how she loved transformers and thought that Star Trek was quite good. Ros is paralyzed on her left side (complications from the accident and a stroke) but here this peppy little lady was out living life to the fullest! She told me how people tend to not know what to do with her because her body would make you think she was a vegetable. But she loves them anyway and tries to help them understand that she is quite capable.

It started to rain so we went back into the mall court and for an hour just talked while we waited for her bus to come.

Ros was a school teacher and after her accident she still tried to help trouble teens. She would often tell them, "You are not going to recognize me when I am resurrected because I am going to be one hot chick!" I got a great chuckle out of that and told her I might have to adopt the same thought.

We talked of great things and then she told me that she went to the temple every week. I was surprised a bit by this because of her limitations with her physical body. I asked her why she did this, and she told me that when she dies, she doesn't want Jesus asking her, "Ros, what did you do with your life". So faithfully every week Ros goes to the temple with her sister. She does 2 or 3 sections in a row!

With tears in her eyes she commented that she hoped that Heavenly Father would recognize her desire to do something with her life even though it was very difficult and sometimes quite painful to accomplish even the basic tasks.

My cup was filled! We exchanged info and I watched her bus pick up her electric chair and then drive away. I had to say a pray of thanks for meeting such a determined woman. A woman who was living her life, not just existing.

That was last night... and then this morning, as I am waiting in the lobby of the Timp temple to do initiatory (45 min wait to even get into the locker room) I looked up from Moroni 7 to see a woman shuffling very slowly past me. I stood up and quite loudly said, "Ros?!! IS that you?!" And there after 20 secs of just trying to make her body turn towards me--it was Ros!! What a fun, unexpected reunion!

This week I have been studying in Moroni and I love the words written there... having a determination to serve him to the end.
What an example the Lord placed before me last night and this morning--Rosilinne IS determined to serve the Lord UNTIL the end. Even when life is quite difficult, she is still serving, hoping, praying, believing, and smiling wherever she goes.

Can I say the same for me?!

I WEPT

These are choice. If you have not taken the time to watch them...treat your soul for 3 min!

REJOICING ALL WEEK!

There are many things I have been rejoicing over this week!

RS RETREAT - EAST BAY 3

Last Friday and Saturday we had our first RS retreat. Mom and Dad were so kind to let us come crash their place. They were willing to serve and help the whole time, for which I was very grateful. There were nearly 40 of us there!
We had 43 set in stone to come and another 5 maybes, but 40--for a retreat we didn't tell them too much info about?! Amazing mercies! Bishop through the whole prep time and actual event, was such a great supporter. When ever I feared what I was doing with the girls or what direction I was taking them, he was cheering me on. I have an amazing Bishop and his family...they are equal to his amazingness! (ha, is that even a word? Well for my purpose, it is now!! ha ha)

The enrichment board really stepped up and did great things! I was so proud of them! We had a stroll to the knoll Sat morning and Camila gave a great devotional! She asked us to feast upon the words of Christ. Other then being really cold because of all the wind, the girls were all troopers!

Meg and Karen taught us how to do bracelets so we could remember to be unified - with Christ - (The bead in the bracelet) in our center. They did a great job making our bracelets a symbolic tool to look at! I was impressed with the girls for getting their bracelets done. They all looked really good!

Citlalli had us do some different dances from our cultural backgrounds. Latoya started with a little Jamaican love- That was a lot of fun to see her moves. Then we had April show her hoop dance! She was really nervous at first but as she continued on her dance, her confidence grew.
How true that is for all of us. At first we start with something we are very nervous. Our Church attendance, a relationship, a calling... but the more we dive into the "whatever", The more our confidence grows! I was moved by how graceful she danced. It is defiantly in her blood! She did an awesome job teaching the girls the moves.

We had two gals with us that had just recently come in from Venezuela. I don't think they have ever been around the LDS culture but they jumped right in and showed us how to really move! H

There was a time, when almost every girl was out on the dance floor. Just dancing away. I jumped on a chair to get a better view. I was overcome with emotion. So many different cultures coming together as one! All I saw was a sea of love. I actually had to jump off the chair because the emotion was so overwhelming. Oh if other groups of people could have just been in the room with us. They would have felt it too. We were "one" that morning! No "ites" among us. It was beautiful!

Citlalli left us with a beautiful message about how we are all needed. God has a place/role for each of us. And when we come all together, he can work his masterpiece through us. The spirit was beautiful.

Then it was a little secret sisters out on the porch before leaving home.

DOWN I WENT!

As we were all in the cars, getting ready to go sing happy birthday to a 95 year old... I ran to check on the empty seats in a car--and as I was running I caught a big dip in the cement. And then just like the movies, it was slow motion as I tried to get my footing under control. NOPE-! I was going down. I hit the pavement and thought, "oh that hurt". My camera which has served me faithful for 4 years, bounced and rolled and stopped dead! Literally dead. Sad. I quickly rolled over to my back. My leg was in major pain and I could not feel two of my fingers. Thank goodness this happened in front of girls and not boys! Ha ha, it was embarrassing enough. All the girls told me to take it easy. I turned over and got right up. I tried to shake everything off. I went back to the car limping quite bad. My leg started to shake almost uncontrollably. I thought I was going to pass out. I breathed for a min and then got in my car. My fingers had turned purple on the ends. And I actually bumped them once and thought I might faint from the pain.

The rest of the day was hard to move from the blow of my leg. But let me tell you what a miracle happened! Nothing looked out of order on Sunday Monday or even Tues. I wondered why my leg hurt so badly , but there was hardly anything visible to my skin. Then Wed came!!! I was getting ready for work and I looked down at my leg... only to find the whole thing bruised! My foot is swollen, and is purple and black on both sides. Then all the way up my chin and my whole left side of my leg is one huge bruise. I am talking about 15 inches by 7 inch bruise! And it is for this cause I can not stop rejoicing!! NO BROKEN BONES! And although I can't feel the end of my pinky finger any more, there were no cracks, no breaks, not splits in my skin! Just one amazingly huge bruise!

My foot looks worse then my leg and my foot hasn't hurt for one moment! I don't understand the logistics of this miracle, but I know it is nothing short of a miracle. I now look at my leg and I rejoice seeing it so colorful because it just goes to show how much worse it could have been, and should be now! BUT IT IS NOT! !

Yes, I still am like an old women every time I kneel to say my prayers and I wont' lie, my leg is in awesome pain when touched, but if I don't touch it, I am fine! And my purple/blue swollen ankle and foot- I can jump on it and not feel a thing!!! that is amazing! God is soo good!! :D

BIRTHDAY SONG FOR MICKEY

My mom and dad had visited a friend's mom that was 95 years old. She was just a couple cabins down the road. They told me how great it would be if I would take my girls over to see this woman. I wanted to go, but the thought of making them all come - (after leaving the cabin a little over an hour late) seemed more then I could ask them to do. So I took my car load and motioned for them to keep driving. But one by one, their cars all stopped at the house and we ran up to go sing happy birthday to Mickey, this 95 year old woman none of us had ever met before. I was over come with gratitude for such kind girls! But then to see her face....she could not believe so many people who didn't know her would sing her happy birthday. Her emotion was visible and she cried as each girl climbed the porch to give her a hug.

I imagined if I had nearly 40 random girls at my porch singing to me I probably would have had the same reaction. Many of the sisters commented how that was their most favorite moment of the whole retreat--seeing this woman be so touched.

There is so much to do for the "one"! There could not have been a more filled sister in the gospel anywhere on the earth! I am surrounded constantly by God's elect. And His tender mercies. Oh to the parents that had such an inspired assignment. Oh to the girls that, although we had gone over time with our retreat, were willing to stop, sing, and then hug a complete stranger! I was surrounded by leaders all weekend. And the love was consuming.

To top the night off, we had an amazing stake conference. I must admit, my spiritual/emotional/physical pools were quite exhausted but I was thankful the Lord helped me in the meeting. Afterwards, Bishop invited all he could grab to go out for dessert. He and Becca ended up buying a few of us dinner (we had not eaten a meal since noon and we were all quite hungry.) This was such a choice moment for me. I have been able to study how Bishop and Becca are towards each other, and have heard their inspired insights about their thoughts with marriage (although Becca would just claim it is the normal way to be :) ) But here 3 other girls were able to learn from Bishop Larson and Becca. It was a very choice moment. My cup runneth over and I am going to need to switch to a bucket soon!

Rejoicing all week! Can you blame me?!

WE ARE TO DREAM!

As one last thought, I listened to this talk from Elder Holland. I freaked out because it is the first time in all my studding that I have heard an apostle talk about dreaming/setting our own dreams.

“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.“ God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.” Jeffrey R. Holland

After reading it, I was filled with a new resolve to keep dreaming for a marriage that is centered in Christ and service. And keep dreaming that I can overcome/lay aside all sins that so "easily doth beset" me.

I got home late from the office last night and as I pulled open my scriptures to read one quick verse I opened to Alma 7:15. I wept because I know that it was not chance that I read the verse. And again when I woke up, the verse was the only thing on my mind.

Yea, I say unto you come and fear not, and lay aside every sin, which easily doth beset you, which doth bind you down to destruction, yea, come and go forth, and show unto your God that ye are willing to repent of your sins and enter into a covenant with him to keep his commandments, and witness it unto him this day by going into the waters of baptism.

Beset means=attack on every side/harass/surround. And that is surely what my sins do! Alma says to lay them aside every sin "which easily doth beset [me], which doth bind [me] down to destruction..."

That verse was for me. Now, lest someone read this and think one of two different thoughts, 1.)how can Bryndi have such heavy sins--oh bad thinking. I am human and have some ugly weaknesses I am pleading to over come. 2.)And no they are not the type of sin I would need to confess to a priesthood holder, nevertheless, they are things that easily beset me and I want to LAY THEM ASIDE--every one! And I only can do that through the atonement of Jesus Christ. I don't fully understand how it all works, but I am moving forward with faith.

SO--I AM A DREAMER! I dream for a day when I will hook up with someone who will let me be myself around him. I dream for the day when I can be sealed in the temple. I dream for the day when I have children to teach about Christ. I dream for the day when my kids will first show signs of applying the gospel to their life. I dream for the day when I am down in size. I dream for the day when I will have conquer my un-orderly habits. I AM married. I AM fully in love with my spouse. I AM a mother. I AM down in size. I AM a teacher of Jesus to my children. I AM an orderly homemaker!

There is power in I AM! I AM a layer down of all (my) sins. Thanks for teaching me this concept dad.

I AM A DREAMER!