EXPLORING FORGIVENESS (Part 1)

Not sure why I am posting this?? This is a paper I wrote for my English class last year. I was not allowed to turn it into a "church" paper, meaning I could not use the one source I go to everything for-- The Book of Mormon. I was not to take sides in this paper, but "explore" a topic of my choosing. The point of the paper was to leave the reader with a view point from two different angles. Perhaps I will sometime share my short thesis on Forgiveness. I don't claim this to be an amazing paper. I just felt like I should post it. If anyone would like the references, just let me know and I will email you the books.

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Does Not Forgiving Affect the Physical Body -Presented by Bryndi Cloward March '08

An ancient saying from India states that, “Forgiveness is the ornament of the brave” (Henderson 111). I think this gives one a pretty clear picture of what forgiving can take at times. Wikipedia tells us that forgiveness is a mental process. The process of not feeling “...resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense...” (“Forgiveness” ). Interesting that the definition would include “perceived offense.” Does that mean that we can perceive something that really didn’t happen or perceive that someone should ask for our forgiveness when in their eyes they don’t think they have done anything wrong? Interesting.
There are many different aspects of forgiveness. Of course when I started this paper, I was worried about how much research I would be able to find on forgiveness, but after small efforts, I found that a lot of people have pondered and thought over this topic. I hope to explore the options about forgiving or not forgiving and what effects it can have on us.
I have always assumed that we should forgive everyone at all times. No matter what was done, who was hurt, what was said or not said. Forgiveness is just a given--it is something we must all do. With this opinion in my mind, I was quite shocked to find a heading for a chapter in a book labeled as, “Why & When to Forgive” (Schimmel 61). Is there really a time when we should not forgive?
Solomon Schimmel, in his Wounds Not Healed by Time, shared that he had a secret fantasy when he was a child. Reflecting back on his fantasy, Schimmel stated:
...I would become President of the United States in order to perform one specific action. As President, I would order the strategic Air Command, armed with nuclear weapons, to totally annihilate Germany and the German people so that never again would Germans be able to do to the world and to the Jewish people what they had done in World War II and the Holocaust. Once this mission was accomplished, I would resign from the Presidency, satisfied that I had exacted just revenge and retribution on the Nazis and save the world from future aggression, brutality, torture, and murder.
Schimmel admits that it was a “horrific” fantasy and he is grateful that he was not able to follow through with his childhood thoughts (5).
Schimmel was not in the concentration camps, however in reference to what happened to those people in those camps he said, “I have not forgotten nor have I forgiven (what right do I have to forgive evils that were perpetrated on others?) what the Nazis and their collaborators did during their years in power” (5). He later admits that it is not right to have feelings of wanting to destroy a whole nation, because not everyone in Germany was involved in the evil acts. But I think his comment for revenge is a common one. I remember being in 2nd grade and learning about the Holocaust and thinking to myself I wish I could have been a solider in Hitler’s army. I would have gained his trust and his friendship. I thought if I could just get close enough to him,
I would have shot him, putting an end to so much misery. In my mind I knew that the other soldiers would hunt me down and probably torture me for what I did, but I was determined in my mind that if I could just get close enough to kill Hitler, it wouldn’t matter what the aftermath would be. I was far from thinking forgiveness.
I would like to think that I would forgive the Nazis for what they did, however, would I still be able to say that if my family had been in those camps? The stakes for forgiveness would be slightly higher. When we are hurt or see the hurt in others, revenge looks quite sweet. Do we have the right to forgive the evils that are done to others?
If one does not forgive the wrongs of someone else, what can the long-term effects have on that person? Schimmel says that “...whenever I read accounts of Nazi crimes, my blood boils and the childhood rage and desire for vengeance and retribution against Germans is triggered” (5). It cannot be comfortable to have your blood boil, and yet I think we have all experienced that feeling at some point in our lives.
Surely it is easier to forgive someone who shows/feels remorse about what they did. When someone is truly penitent, I find it is hard to hold a grudge. But what if the one who has faulted you feels no remorse?
Years ago in New York, a nun was raped horribly by two men. When they were finished raping her they “cut 27 crosses into her body with a nail file” (Schimmel 61).
If this had been me, what would my reaction been? Would I have been afraid to go anywhere by myself? Would I live my life in fear with the memories that would surely flood my mind any time a man approached me? Would I be able to forgive someone who did that to me, or worse, who did such an awful action to someone I loved?
You may be surprised, as was I, to find out that this nun never testified against her rapists. She did not have a hunger for revenge and hoped that in forgiving them, they would become “sensitive” to what they had done. Amazing praise to the person who can forgive such an ugly crime, however, these men were not charged for rape and assault because she did not testify. They received light sentences and were locked away for a fairly short time compared to the crime they performed. Schimmel poses the question if the nun was unethical in forgiving the men and not testifying, because sooner then later these two men would be back out on the streets (61). As a community member, would I have been able to forgive the nun for not testifying against such horrible crimes? Often when forgiveness is involved, there is not just one party forgiving the wrongs of another. It can have a chain effect.
Are there acts that are not unforgivable, such as “...battering, murder, abuse of children” (qtd. in Smith 321). With such acts could it be that, “...focusing on forgiving detracts from the seriousness and unacceptability of the act...”(Smith 321). This thought could apply back to what the nun did. Did her forgiveness take away the seriousness of what those men did?
I have a friend whose dad had a pilot license. He would take his little family flying. On one particular trip, he made a poor judgment call. His plane only had 1/3 tank of gas left. He had a few dollars on him and when he asked the flight staff where the gas tank was, they responded that it was clear on the other side of the airport. Feeling sheepish over the truck coming to his plane to fill up only a few dollars of gas, he decided that the plane had enough to get him going where he needed to go.
The flight started out fine and their destination was almost in view, when the plane ran out of gas. He had to make a crash landing. He was flying with his bride and four little kids, one of which was a two-year-old girl, my friend. The plane crashed and they all lived. The two-year-old girl was able to leave the hospital with 350 stitches in her skull and 100 stitches in her left eye. The doctors told the family that there were so many shards of glass in her head that they would continue to make their way out of her skull. To this day, that little girl who is now a mother and grandmother, finds shards of glass on her pillow from time to time. Migraines haunt her months, likely from the distress caused on the skull so long ago. And yet in all of this, she does not have any anger or resentment. There is no need to forgive, because she does not find fault with her dad’s poor decision (Gardner). Would I have been able to forgive my dad for making such a bad judgment call because of his pride not allowing him to purchase only three dollars worth of gas?
So what if someone decides they are not going to forgive. Can not forgiving or not showing forgiveness affect our physical being and happiness?
Schimmel, who is Jewish, was approached by a Christian biblical scholar. The Scholar had learned that Schimmel was a Jew and asked if he didn’t think it was about time for the Israelis to forgive and forget what the Palestinian terrorists are doing and what they had done. Schimmel replied, “I asked him whether he had ever held in his arms the bloody body parts of his dead child killed by a grenade thrown into a schoolroom by a Palestinian terrorist” (65). The man did not have much to say after this remark. After a few more minutes of speaking with this scholar, Schimmel discovered that the man was preaching the facts of forgiveness but he expressed some lingering resentment toward a colleague who had failed to give him appropriate credit due on a paper he had produced. Schimmel didn’t think this man was aware that he was preaching repentance and yet was unable to forgive a minor offense -- an offense that had happened over a decade ago (66)!
Are there things that can’t be forgiven or rather should not be forgiven? Does not forgiving someone really add another dimension to one’s life? Is it not a big deal to not hold grudges or resentment for long periods of time? By forgiving, are we truly freed from the effects of resentment? I will look deeper into these thoughts in my next paper.

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If you made it this far, great job! What a long task! I hope this helps someone out there.