HOPE FLOATS

This Sunday came with a wonderful lesson given by Patrice. She was prepared and taught by the spirit. She asked the question, "Why do people stop going to church?" Many people gave answers, but one Sister's answer stirred my soul... She said, "Some people do not go to church because they just have no hope." I looked into this Sister's sweet eyes and found a soul at the end of her rope, not knowing what to do. She had no hope.

I can say that those times have come to me before. This summer when Dad was in the hospital and it seemed the days were often getting a lot darker than brighter--I felt a lack of hope. Back in Oct, on a particular hard weekend, I found myself feeling without hope. All weekend I fought the feelings of no hope.

I was the best person at giving personal pep talks! I told myself that I was being dumb to feel this way. After all, hadn't I been given countless blessings that were filled with hope?! I felt I was "lost" and yet I knew that I could be found. It was a personal war in my head. For my head told me, "Bryndi, don't be silly, there are SO many things to hope for. You know what Heavenly Father has told you, just have faith in it!" But my heart was not matching up with the logic in my head.

I ended up needing to pick up a girl for church. After waiting some time at the girls door, I decided I had better run and find a building somewhere close so I could partake the sacrament. I entered a chapel, where I did not know one soul, and sat in on their sacrament meeting. The spirit was beautiful, but my heart would not give in--and I silently wept the whole meeting. Then it was off to my ward. I didn't want my girls to be worried about me, so I put on the bravest/happiest face I could muster. One sweet sister looked me down in class and mouthed, "What is wrong?" I just smiled and as the lesson went on I wondered how she knew something was wrong? I was pretty sure the puffy red eyes and nose were gone. Then the thought came, "Bryndi, she is your visiting teacher." I couldn't help but smile over her inspired stewardship. (LOVE VISITING TEACHING--I know it changes lives!)

Well the afternoon went on, and I tried very hard to be positive around all my girls. Before RS was over I felt that I should see Bishop. I thought there was no way I was going to talk to Bishop about this. After all I had monthly meetings with him to talk about all the sisters needs, but not my own, and certainly not about having no hope. In my head I felt I was being ridiculous and I kept trying to give myself the pep talks of, "Bryndi, just read a past blessing, hold to it. Where is your faith girl, come on!" But my heart, again would not match up with my head.

After church I had several meetings and was running around, but the feeling to see Bishop was still there. I can honestly say I didn't avoid seeing him, because I really didn't have time, but still the thought/impression came. At one point around 6:30ish I asked the clerk if Bishop was available. He told me that he didn't know if he was free, but that Bishop's door was open so I should just walk in. I pondered over it for a second. Then a phone call came and it was Bishop's sister. She asked if I would get another CD of her scanned pictures to her because she lost the one she had. I quickly drove over to work to copy the pictures off my computer. I believe it was nearly 7:30, when I finished with my items at church and had the CD burned. Bishop's sister was in Spanish Fork and I wondered if by some miracle Bishop was still at church so he could drop off the CD to his sister. I called him up and he said he was just leaving the church, but that he would wait for me. I pulled up to the church parking lot and there was Bishop in his car. I pulled up next to his, the windows went down and the CD was passed over. Bishop and I discussed a few of the Sister's needs. I smiled and said good night (and mind you, I can be pretty happy when I put on that mask)... but as I started to roll up my window--Bishop said, "Wait! How is Bryndi doing?" I couldn't help but smile at his inspired comment, and without being able to control it I said, "fine" while the tears started a steady stream out the corner of my eye. Bishop didn't say anything, but had the look of, I am waiting. I told him of my plight... how ridiculous I felt to not be having hope with life and the future. I told him I knew I was crazy because we belong to the gospel OF HOPE!! I told him there was so many reasons to not but feel hope--and yet I was having a hard time grasping on to any of them.

Bishop said some kind things, made me laugh. We talked for 20 mins in that parking lot--and that was all I needed!! By the time Bishop drove away, I rolled up my car window and said a prayer of thank you to Heavenly Father. Bishop told me all the things my head had been telling me all day--but for whatever reason, the Lord knew that if I heard it from Bishop, my heart would be satisfied and take hold of hope again.

I learned several valuable lessons from this. Again, when the Lord tells you something, just do it!! I had the impression to talk with Bishop, but justified that my problem was dumb and I surely didn't want to take him away from his family any longer. I also learned that when we are in our moments of darkness, the Lord will inspire us either how to get out, or endure. This time, there was a way out of the feeling and it was through Bishop's words.

I really can say this was the main time in my life that I felt the pain of no hope so vividly. AND I hope it never happens again! :)

That weekend I was feeling no hope, Heavenly Father Lead me to the song in that clip. And there have been days when I will just play the song on repet as a reminder to me, that Hope really does float!

I love Either 12:4

Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

Faith brings hope! Which hope makes an anchor to our souls--which will make us SURE and STEADFAST--ALWAYS abounding in good works...and that faith and hope, will lead us to glorify our Heavenly Father!

Dictionary.com

anchor: a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security;
sure: free from doubt as to the reliability, character, action, etc., of something:
steadfast: fixed in direction; steadily directed:firm in purpose, resolution, faith...

Hope floats above and makes an anchor below, so when our storms come, and they will--we will be sure and steadfast!

The church is true! Thank goodness for the gospel!