Thursday, May 19, 2011

INSPIRED CRUSH?!!!!?!

Back in Jr. High I discovered that I had the ability to fall in love rather quickly and it didn't necessarily matter if the kid was a good kid or not. So to put a stop to that potential danger, I prayed quite a bit to not have crushes. I figured they were a waste of time for why would I want to live that part of the girl life of fantasizing over something that was going to go no where. (ha, you can call me crush-crusher.)

My request and consistent pleadings were granted and for a very long time I was not plagued with the typical girl agony of the heart of crushes. God blessed me so much in fact that a little bit of an alarm came when I took a collage class where a dear friend/professor told all the single students that we were to find someone, we did not know, whom we were attracted to, and bring them to class. Yes, this assignment not only stressed me out, but I realized that I had put off "looking"/crushing for so long that I didn't even know how to find someone I was attractive to. Sounds pathetic I know, but none the less it was true.

Once I finally DID find someone that I was attracted to, he ended up being a MARRIED MAN who was not wearing his wedding ring! After approaching the third married man(!) I called my professor and said the assignment was too dangerous and she could give me a F, but I was not about to go lusting after someone that would yet again prove to be married. :)

Well there is a little bit of the background so you can understand a little more fully where I am coming from. Back in about Sept or Oct of last year, I was completely caught of guard when a kid walked by at church and my heart almost skipped a beat. WHAT IN THE WORLD!? This was not a feeling I was used to feeling. The more I observed him from a far off the more I became curious as to who this person was that not only was I spiritually attracted to, but physically too. That just hasn't happened much in my go arounds. Don't be getting your hopes up, I have NO announcements! ;) This kid just proved to provide a very annoying little crush. Since I had trained myself to not crush--having a crush was pretty much horrible. I was smitten by a kid that didn't even know my name. Pathetic, I know.

Seriously, when a boy distracts you from the sacrament, you know your crush needs to be crushed! The crush, thankfully is gone, but something so sweet came that I could have never predicted.

This kid bore his testimony once about his love for his grandmother and how touched he was to be around her and to hear her sing. His love for his grandmother pricked a reminder in me of how much I love elderly folks. His testimony stirred an idea which was followed by some strong impressions.

For a few months prior to that time, I had pondered over how the Lord would have me spend my time. I thought of my stake and because not being connected to a family ward, I just didn't know any elderly folks outside the sweet women I see every week in the temple and a few neighbors.

During his testimony, I immediately thought of my parents branch up in the mountains. I thought of the handful of widows that go to their branch. The promptings came and for the last six months I have been taking every Thursday I can to go and be with them. That is where tonight took me.

This is the beauitful Myrna!

She lives all alone--literally in this small little town in the mountains. So rural is the town that in the winter time, she is the only person in the whole town that lives there. This woman is as strong as an ox and yet as kind and loving/with the humor to match Pres. Faust at the same time. On a previous visit I found her up kitchen COVERED in home made suckers/flavorings and molds. She has a habit of making suckers of all different flavors, shapes and colors so that she can have something to share with others.

I had a wonderful evening with her as we worked on some of her life experiences with her family.

Before I left her house, Myrna said that she had had an interesting night. She said that she had always wondered what she would do if there was a knock at her door in the middle of the night. She lives alone and the thought quite terrified her.

She fell asleep in her chair and there this morning at 1:30am there was a knock on her door. She woke to the sound and her heart started to race. Maybe it was just her sub pump kicking on? But sure enough the knock came again. Completely struck with fear, this good woman of God said a prayer and asked God if she should answer her door. To which she felt she should. She cautiously opened her door to find two grown boys shivering on her doorstep. They had gone up a canyon road in their little car to see if the snow pack was gone. The mud overtook the wheels of the car and they were stuck in a ditch. No coat (it has been snowing off and on with six inches this week) here they were shivering on Myrna's porch. She took out her chains drove them to their mud stuck car, and pulled them out. (Told you she was an ox!) She told me she was so glad she prayed and that she was not only protected, but could help them.

As we have gone through her life's stories we have laughed, and have had beautiful moments discussing how God's hands have been seen. Myrna was God's hands last night. This faithful woman--that lives literally alone in the middle of the mountains.

We hugged, not wanting the evening to end. She warned me of the elk that would no doubt jump in front of me and said that she would pray for me. (And thank goodness for her prayers because a huge elk did run out in front of my car and so close was it to my car that the mud flying off it's hooves as it ran splattered my windshield...! It was a close call and my heart pounded for a good little distance after slamming on my brakes.)

I left her house in deep gratitude.

After a visit, I usually jump in my car and say prayer of thanks... but tonight was more. I pulled down the empty town street and parked. I could not help but just cry in gratitude for the evening I was just given. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for so many things. I then remembered my "crush" and how seriously annoyed I was to have a crush. (I speak only for my crushes and to those of my friends that seek to have crushes--all the more power too you! Just don't pass the "crushing" onto me. :D) I don't know if I would be having these amazing Thursday nights had I not been in love with a kid that caused me to eat up every word he said... which words were how much he loved being with his grandmother. That set the chain reaction/reminder of how much I love being with wiser in years folks too!

Looking back I see how that crush cultivated a place in my heart (even if it was at the time a drooling cultivation) for a story to be heard, an idea promoted by the spirit to start visiting the widows I so dearly.

President Monson talked about the one widow that he went to go see at a care center after midnight. She said she knew he would come to which his response was how could he not have come. I truly felt that tonight. These choice women. Who remain faithful even when alone. Sure they know how to stay busy, but nevertheless they still face waking up alone, spending the day alone, and then going to sleep alone... all to just face the same "aloneness" the next day. These women have/are inspiring to me!

And now--I must thank God for that inspired crush! For through it, the seeds of my Thursday nights were planted in such a way that the spirit and the book "To the Rescue" had a perfect ground to cultivate an action. And oh how this tree has sprung up into the most choice fruit!

My folks ask how I will drive the distance to just stay the short time... how can I not?! These women are so choice, and my life is better because they are in it.

God bless that inspired Crush!

And God bless that I no longer have that crush. ;) THANK GOODNESS! :) ha ha. All things shall work together for our good.

And God bless this sweet sister, who has trained herself that in her moment of fear--her first reaction was to say a prayer! What a great lesson she has taught.

What a choice choice evening it was.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

ARE YOU up for the CHALLENGE?! [Part 1]

Who is with me?!! :)

The conference Ensign has been mailed out to those who have a subscription (I received my a few days ago) and they will be in the distribution centers/online for purchase hopefully next week. If you would like to experience an amazing power in your life--consider this challenge...

PART 1 CHALLENGE:
As soon as you get the magazine (yes you can do the online version (click here) but I would HIGHLY recommend you spending the 1.50 and getting your own copy of the magazine, for 37 days (call it the 40 day challenge to give you a little buffer room), read/study/ponder one talk per day. (Or you could do two each Sunday.) But for 40 days/or your choice of the week day to study a couple talks (about 1.2ish talks will a week will have you complete the magazine before Oct Conference). Highlight/circle/use dictionary.com--however you like to study--but devour each talk. I like to pray before reading and asking God to help me get out of the talk/scriptures what he would have me get out, and then Pres Eyring suggests that after we have read/studied/pondered to pray again in gratitude and relay back what God has taught your heart (praying after I study is a new habit I am going to work on.)

Why take apart of this challenge?! The Prophet says we do this, and I for myself did this with the Oct conference Ensign and it was an AMAZING experience for my soul. More power, more strength, a greater desire to be more kind and more quick to forgive or to want to serve. More desire to give love to strangers... the power that came from taking "in" the general conference talks has been life lifting/sustaining/satisfying. It has been life giving!

PART 2 CHALLENGE:

Just about 40 days before the October Conference this year, watch for a reminder blog. But at that time, I would challenge you to go over a talk a day again--being reminded of all the highlighting/insights you had before... and let this be a preparation and a feast again for your soul as it will prepare you to hear the words of the prophets at the Oct General Conference. Ryan from work said his Stake President challenged the Stake to do a 40 day read before conference for preparation and I thought the idea was pretty inspired.

What you may find, at least for me, as I have gone back through and have seen what things I highlighted or what impressions I wrote in my magazine some times I have been floored by what impressions I had and I am always reminded of the great truths taught. And often new impressions and items I had not marked before will jump out again.

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE?!! :) You are welcome to join me!

And just for fun....if you have any insight you would like to share or impression(s)/experience(s) that tie back from you studying or something you learned, you can click here and share your experience in this Google doc. If there are things you would like to share, paste your thoughts impressions/ in there and I will check the doc periodically and post your thoughts here. For quick access I will add a link to the document at the top of this blog right above the Book of Mormon picture on the right hand side.

Don't worry, you don't have to do this! ha ha, I could say, don't worry, you don't have to bless your life...! :) At least it has been true for me! Happy reading/studying and pondering!
"Our humility and our faith that invite spiritual gifts are increased by our reading, studying, and pondering the scriptures. ...But reading, studying, and pondering are not the same. We read words and we may get ideas. We study and we may discover patterns and connections in scripture. But when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit. Pondering, to me, is the thinking and the praying I do after reading and studying in the scriptures [general conference talks] carefully." -- Henry B. Eyring
You don't have to join me. But if you want to--I promise an amazing journey!

Yeehaw! :D

Sunday, May 1, 2011

BECAUSE, I LOVE JESUS


This morning was beautiful as I rushed out the door to make it in time for Ali's third little girl--Rachel's baby blessing. Meadow was having her own bundle of joy blessed this morning and I wish I could have been in two places at once! With both blessings being at the same time but an hour in distance apart from one another I prayed where God would have me be. I was to go to Orem. Not only was the blessing wonderful, and my life is always better when Ali is in it--but I was to hear the testimonies given in Ali's ward. :) God is so perfect with his timing. And AMEN to wearing waterproof mascara on my bottom lashes. Seriously, who ever came up with that stuff was BRILLIANT! :)

The testimonies shared were beautiful.

One man shared how simply partaking of sacrament, that little sip of the water each week is refreshing. And how when each of us turn to the Living Waters (Jesus Christ) and just take a sip of His teachings/His words, our life is refreshed.

How true this has been for me! The past two weeks the sky has dumped, poured and even at times drenched the earth. And the only thought I seem to have while I am watching everything get soaked/or shortly after it has been soaked is the fact how much better/more beauitful the world looks after it has been wet. All the colors are more vibrant, even the brown on the mountains is more rich. More alive. Water makes the details stand out. How true like the simple sip of the sacrament is refreshing, a simple sip, a taste of the Savior in our life whether drenching style or starting out with a small drizzle... ones life that is "touched" with the Savior's water is all the more better. That life is all the more bright and brilliant. LIVING WATER MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!

I was also touched by a sister who said she and her husband had a busy Sat. They woke up earlier than they would have liked to get up for a Sat. As they hurried around, her husband was getting ready to go with the young men or scouts on a hike. It had just snowed and the land was covered in it. This woman watched her husband bundled up in his coat go out to the car. She noticed how he didn't seem too excited to be going on the hike. She wished him good luck. To which he responded, "I do it because I love Jesus." She was deeply impressed with his statement. She went back inside and worked on a part of her calling that she wasn't ever thrilled to work on, but her attitude was a little different as she reflected why she did it--because she too loved Jesus.

I was touched by this story. Sometimes we are asked to do things that we just don't want to do or care to do--but why do we do/should we do it regardless of our own wants/desires... BECAUSE WE LOVE JESUS. Loved it!

There were other stories born about God's miraculous wisdom and power. One sister was impressed she needed to fly south to find some of her ancestor's graves. She was led to meet a woman who knew exactly where the little, in the woods, cemetery was- three miles off the main road on a gravel road. This woman went and took pictures at the grave side. One week later- this last week the tornadoes hit, and that little cemetery is completely gone now. She had just been led there the previous week! God is amazing.

I am convinced that Heavenly Father also wanted me to hear about a sister who said that she was living the impossible. She had a husband, children and they cherished her. I needed to hear that.

Being with Ali, always choice. I love that girl. In so many ways.

I don't talk about it--but Ali's first daughter is named Bryndi. I don't know if there is a higher complement then someone YOU look up to chooses to name their daughter after you. I don't mention this for any praise to me for surely I would never want to disappoint or give this little girl a reason to not want to live up/like the person's who's name she bares, and truly this little girl will make her own mark and her name is completely hers. But I shared with Ali's grandmother in detail why when Ali was pregnant I never asked Ali what her baby's name was going to be. See--Ali and I in one of the first RS activities we ever had together played this awesome game with a ball of yarn being thrown around in a circle symbolic of being tied together and unity. Then the other part of the activity was taking a paper and writing passing it around and letting others write you a personal note. On my paper, Ali had written that she liked my name and thought she would name her first daughter Bryndi. I never mentioned this to Ali--and when she became pregnant--years later (I had served a mission and had come home) I never wanted to ask her what she would name her daughter because 1.) I didn't want her to feel obligated that just because she stated that on a paper, she was "held" to that comment she had made so long before and 2.) I felt a little prideful/embarrassed that if she was choosing the name Bryndi, I didn't want to assume that it had anything to do with me as a person but rather just because she liked the sound of the name. (I have no idea why I am sharing all of this) So I just never talked to Ali about it. Truth is, if she did choose that name, and even if it was just because she liked that "name"... it was deeply not only flattering, but a lot to live up to.

Well the day of the baby shower came... and still I had never asked Ali. WHICH, mind you was silly, because Ali IS one of my heroes and I care about EVERYTHING in her life. And a first baby, and the name, is pretty much the topic of conversation.

It was there at the baby shower Ali shared with everyone that her little girl would be named Bryndi. Afterwords, I wept. And that sweet little girl has said to me in private out of the blue, "Know what?! I have your name." "Did you know I was named after you?". Deeply honored. Oh to have a name that that little girl would be proud to have/share. Ali, I should tell you to your face--it is a great honor to share names with your daughter. I pray and will strive to be/share a name that she won't regret being tied to. I love you Al.. A lot!

Tonight was history in the making as my ward and I attended the announcing of my area's new YSA stake. There were 30 stake president's before us, four quorums of the 70 and then walked in Elder Cook! I was sitting on the 2nd row, talk about blessing! It was deeply moving to see such a powerful display of the priesthood that was before me. The talks and testimonies each shared were choice. Here was Elder Cook. A special witness for Christ. One of 15 men in the whole world, was sitting/talking there 15 feet in front of me.

The spirit was present and I felt a desire to rescue. A theme ever present in my life but I have never really looked at it as a "rescue". The conference was choice. And with the preparation of Ali's ward I had some specific things God was telling me.

After the meeting everyone rushed to go shake pres cook's hand. I was standing around and when the crowds died down, I noticed that elder Gong was coming off the stands. No other YSA were around. I shook Elder Gong's hand and thanked him for the meeting. Then he caught me completely off guard when he asked me what was the one thing I got from the conference. I had taken several pages of notes, and been moved by the spirit and for a split sentence didn't know what I was going to say--when I caught myself saying, "That I can trust the Lord". The words spilled out, and almost felt not conscious/in control of what I was saying. He said that that was very interesting.

I left his hand shake a little stunned. I had not written anything about trust. nor had the many lessons God wanted me to hear that morning been connected with trust, but when asked by Elder Gong, that is what came out of my mouth. Guess, that I needed to hear it from my own mouth! :) And surely the Lord wanted me to hear that lesson.

In a hundred little small ways, it has been an amazing Sunday. Then again Sunday is my FAVORITE day of the week.
Just a sip of the Savior will refresh and immediately brighten our life. Even when our heart isn't in doing something/would long to do something else, we do it BECAUSE we love Jesus. When your life hero names their daughter with your same name, there is a huge honor, deep profound awh and a lot to live up to, and God wants us to trust Him! I WILL trust Him. I have been praying and fasting for a vision and to have faith in that vision. Today was the cap stone of what God want's me to envision for my life. For my future. I will/DO trust in Him!