Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Have you ever asked any of these questions before:
  • How do I pray?
  • Who am I praying to?
  • Why is it a commandment to pray?
  • I feel silly... like my prayer is just bouncing off the wall... is anyone listening?
  • When should I prayer? 
  • What should I pray for? 
  • Can praying really change my life, let alone just make a difference?
  • How do I know when I get an answer?
   I have asked all these questions before. It started with a strong desire of wanting to know if Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ really live. IF they live, I was determined to give them my life. But if they didn't--well I guess no one had to know that I had been seeking in private. I was tempted to feel silly at times... always grateful that when I was "trying" prayers that no one else knew what I was doing. There were prayers out of habit, prayers that were not sincere and just going through the motion. Some prayers were filled with anger longing to just know for myself and some prayers were filled with wondering tears. My journey seemed to never have a middle for I felt often I was always right at the beginning--which felt like I was nowhere/wasting my time. Oh there is a beautiful Ether 12 which states at least seven times that it is AFTER the trial of one's faith, the miracles/witness come.
   I prayed in secret for almost a year to know if Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live. I hoped that they did. I believed they might. But I wanted to know for myself. And that journey started my own trial of faith and also putting prayer to the test.
   This article (CLICK HERE) is awesome! And the five simple principles stated, I have found true for myself. How do I know they work--because every single one of the principles I have tested with my own prayers.
   Persitance is the key.
   Kneel down, bow the head, and open with your thoughts to Heavenly Father. Kneeling and bowing is a form of respect. I have found for myself that casually laying in bed and repeating words before I drift in and out of sleep has WAY LESS impact than when I show respect and reverence of actually kneeling and bowing my head.
   And boy do I have a testimony of the power of praying out loud. Even when I go on business trips and share a hotel room with a co-worker, I sneak away into the bathroom, turn on the fan and kneel down and vocally whisper out my prayer. (AND if you have a little ADD like my brain tends to have when needing to focus at time, praying out loud helps me focus on the words I am saying. Again, the article is dead on with all true principles I have applied to my prayers.)
    I was taught once the value of being completely honest with God when praying. So when I first was "testing" the waters of prayer I told God that I felt silly and as if I was speaking to the room and because I did not know He was there, how would I know If and when He did answered me... thank goodness I did not stop trying just because at first I was uncomfortable with all I didn't know. **And this is not to say I know everything. I DON'T! So much more to learn, but the truths I have learned and applied--LIFE CHANGING in the world of my prayers.
    God already has blessings that He has ready to give us, but receiving those blessings are conditional upon us asking for them (see bible dictionary prayer).
   I found that I could pray anytime anywhere. And the things I should pray for, were and are ever evolving. I have learned, not fully in depth, but scratching the surface of the power of asking. Heavenly Father won't force me to learn His ways or seek blessings. So it takes my agency in asking to know and find things out on myself.
   Can praying really make a difference/change my life? I have journals and pages and pages of the difference it has made in my life.... just type in the search engine at the top of the page on the right the word "prayer" and just see how many posts come up. Careful, reading them all might take you a week!
   See I never prayed to see God or Jesus Christ. I simply asked that I could be blessed with something I could not deny. I wanted to know that I knew they lived. Not because others claimed it, I want to know for myself. And if God was my Father, then wouldn't He want me to know for myself...  
   I received my answer! It didn't happen the way I thought it would, I didn't see anything or have angels sore around me--but I felt words impressed upon my mind in such a way that my prayer was answered! I KNEW/KNOW Jesus Christ is the Savior and Heavenly Father lives/is my Father. And it is not some special club membership or holding one's breath a certain way. You can know for yourself completely and fully without question! I guess the real question is how bad do you want to know? Enough that you will devote time and energy until you get an answer?
   How grateful I am for a God that never gave up on my stubborn self.

Basics with prayer:
  • Address God: Dear Heavenly Father, Dear God
  • Thank Him for any/all things. Some days when it is really bad, I sometimes have to ponder over what I am thankful for, and there have been days where all I could come up was I was thankful my knees still worked so I could kneel. And on better days, the tears of gratitude flow freely.
  • Ask Him for the things you stand in need of. Don't fall for the deception that "your" askings are not as important as "big" things. Or the trap of thinking that there is so much going on in others lives--that you don't want to bother/waste God's times with your items... If you have ever thought those things, pat yourself on the back! Join the club of "You have been deceived/tricked by the Devil" Club. Believe me, I sometimes know that club all a little too personal. But seriously, stop and think for a min. If you are a parent, and your child asks something of you, do you throw up your hands and storm off? I know, rediuolous, but so is the thought that one doesn't want to "bother" / trouble the Lord when there are so many more imporant things. 
 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

  Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

  Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

  If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?  (Matt 7)
  • (Sorry no bullet should be here but I can't seem to make the coding go away.) Seriously, and again, the logic is like getting your arm cut off and saying, "I am not going to bother the doctor because there are more important matters like that guys missing tounge." (Silly, yes, but honestly it is silly to be tempted into thinking we don't want to trouble/bother the Lord. So if any of those thoughts arise, I am telling you they are not inspired thoughts--squish them like the nasty mosquitos they are! For such thoughts are to stop you from seeking God/coming unto Him therefor the Club captain, Satan Himself, pins another Gold star to His forehead of getting you to stop your attempt at drawing close to the Lord.) We can ask and should pray over all and any things! God wants us to!
  • We can pray for others. I personally know I have been sustained by the specific prayers of others. How humbling to know that my name made it into their sacred communion time with Heavenly Father. Humbling, beauitful, I will take it, blessing!
  • When ending your prayer simply close it "in the name of Jesus Christ, amen". It is all because of Christ that we can pray to the Father.
   How does one know they they are receiving revelation/an answer to prayer? Here are a few of my favorite articles.
   Holy cow those are all good and have taught me much about prayer and personal revelation. But when it is all said and done, even if you have no more then a desire TO BELIEVE... let that desire work within you (see Alma). I was skeptical of receiving revelation at times and far too often went through the motion of praying and not putting anything personal into it... BUT I KNOW FOR MYSELF that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. HE HEARS US. HE LOVES US. HE WILL LEAD US. IF WE ARE PERSISTENT WITH HUMILITY HE WILL TEACH US HOW TO PRAY, HOW TO RECEIVE ANSWERS TO PRAYER, HOW TO HAVE OUR WORDS PENETRATE THE HEAVENS AND NOT JUST BOUNCE OFF OUR BEDS.
   No, I am not screaming, just very intensely testifying that if this post is for you and you doubt how to pray or if God really hears you, or if your prayers really do make a difference in your life/the lives of those you love--I am hear to tell you they do.! He does! They will/are!
Enter the world of prayer at your own risk! :) 

   For surely you are in store for quite a ride. There is no limit to the prayers that can be offered, words can be inspired to where we pray for the very things the Father would have us pray for. Prayer can change your life and the lives of those whom you love and have stewardship over. Do you have faith enough to test it? Are you willing to consistently put in the work of striving to say sincere prayers? Do you want it bad enough?
   Even if you only have the desire TO believe... let that desire work within you.

   GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. You are not alone. You can pray for help and strength to be able to pray! So ironic how the whole system works... but work it does! 

Life changing--yes!
Easy to become complacent--yes!
But easier to start back the habit of sincere, heart felt prayer. What is the condition of your heart? Where is your treasure/brain as you prayer? GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS! Are you willing to work for such a knowledge--because yes work in the form of your faith, constancy, and HOPE that God WILL answer your prayers=required. My personal study of the scriptures, particularly The Book of Mormon, opened my mind to new, exciting possibilities. God is not a respecter of persons. So what He will do for one, if it is not against His will, He will do for others/ME!

Even if you have no more than just a desire to believe what has been written, let that desire work within you. TEST GOD! PROVE HIM! TRY! **and advice--be ever ready with a note pad and pen that works. When God answers your prayer, (His timing, His way) writing it down will not only help you remember what was given, but at least in my life, it is like God notices that and says, "Bryndi, that was important enough to write down... well here let me poor out some more important thoughts!" Power in writing. Again the awesomeness articles are sooo true! TRIED TESTED IN MY OWN LIFE!
   I am a witness that no matter who you are, what you have done or should have done--does not put an X on your life being filled with revelation and personal blessings from Heavenly Father because there is repentance and forgiveness, cleansing through the blood of the Lamb. His Son is the Master healer. He can and will heal all that is broken... if we will simply come unto Him, ask and plead, trust and serve. Prayers are powerful... I promise you can know it for yourself! And when you realize it for the first time, I would love to know!

Happy Praying!!

I am grateful for Christmas music on Pandora in the Octobers of my life!

Saturday, October 27, 2012


   Today was Andrea's sister Kira's funeral. Andrea (left) loved her sister Kira. I had the blessing of meeting Kira several times. Huge smile, larger than life smile in fact!
   Sweet Kira has been battling cancer and was relieved of her physical body ailments this past Monday morning. She was just 33.
   Her funeral was simply beauitful, the spirit was overwhelming.
   Andrea's brother shared the scripture of how we love Christ because He first loved us and how he felt that people loved Kira because she first loved them. Can one leave this mortal life with a higher complement than of that?!
   Two things that Andrea shared about Kira really touched me. Andrea asked Kira which was better, sunrise or sunset. Andrea shared how of course a sunset was better with all the colors that go with it--and how sunsets certainly trump. Kira wisely stated that a Sunrise was her favorite... because it takes more effort to enjoy it. What a true statement!

   I pondered over my "sunrise" moments... and was sweetly reminded what each moment meant for/to me.
 Here are just a few that have been tender to me. 

 Mexico--a sunrise with just me and what sounded like 100's of birds signing crazily in the trees.  It was unlike any moment I have ever had with birds in the morning. It was wonderful!

 Sitting on the pier all by myself with my scriptures in hand. I had opened right to the spot in The Book of Mormon and read earlier that God was aware of all of His people in whatever land they may be in. At the time I was out of the country and feeling quite alone... but the scripture brought tears to my eyes. God knew exactly where I was, and was mindful of me.

 A moment when on a morning walk when I had the reassurance that God's plan would still unfold in my life, despite all my imperfections and weaknesses.

Notice the mountains. The whole valley was covered in shadows but as the sun came out the distant mountain peaks danced in sunlight, lifting the mists of darkness (literally) from the morning. You can see how the sun is just starting to touch the peak in the right mountain in this picture. Steam was arising from from the reflection pool.... And I watched as the valley fully became flooded with sunlight.

This wasn't the morning that it happened, but it is a morning that is symbolic of what I prayed for. In learning to Jog, God sent me a morning dense ground fog. I could see only 10 feet in front of me but when I looked directly up I could see the sky and stars. God sent that type of day to me two days in a row. As a result I was able to distract myself because I could not see the distance and keep jogging just 10 feet at a time... which resulted in 20 mins of jogging which in 6 weeks of working at it, I had not been able to do yet. Miracle!

A sunrise in WY with Chick and Mia along the river front. It was magical and I loved the time being with my sister. I walked in awh and gratitude at the friendship the Lord allowed Nyk and I to have. One that we both worked to have, and cherish what we now have.

 Cold sunrise in Scolfield, but I had enough stamina to get up the big hills around mom and dad's place. That was a miracle in itself.

 Sunrise, on a swing, reading about the Savior. Just me, the birds, and the light.

 Thayne and I took a red-eye to Florida to meet up with mom and dad. This morning flight was the result of the first part of this (click here) old blog post. After that conversation, and I believe a change in planes, this was the first view of the sunrise above the clouds.

 And just a few weeks ago at mom and dad's place...
I bundled up in the very, very cold morning. I went out before the sun had risen. I was trying to study, but was distracted by the awh with how the morning light was intensifying the golden leaves. I noted dense frost on the top of the cabin, and smiled at how the frost melted away with the morning light .... causing an awesome amount of dripping to occure.

I pondered and was reminded how sometimes I let parts of my life become cold and frost "bitten"... and how all I need is the "Son'slight = SONrise, to melt away anything that I have allowed to become cold or "hard" in my life... in my heart.

   All different mornings, but each symbolic and/or filled with moments of quite, pondering. I too, love sunrises!

   Andrea shared a little of how Kira's personality was. They both lived together up in an apartment in SLC. She said there were bushes outside their apartment windows and some annoying bird would be doing it's thing early in the morning. Andrea did not vocalize her annoyance with the bird but became more and more annoyed at it.

   One time when the two of them were visiting with their parents, they were asked how their mornings were at their apartment. Before Andrea could answer--Kira piped up that they had bushes right outside their windows and every morning she loved to hear the song of a particular bird that lived there. Andrea thought no way could this be the same bird! But sure enough it was. :)
   How can something be so annoying to one and so joyous to another--and be the exact same thing?! PERSPECTIVE!!! Guess that is how the gospel is. Glass half full, or half empty. Church a time to worship God, or a three hour block to survive.

   I left the funeral deeply inspired and determined to live my life more fully. To live/work for the sunrises of my life and not just the sunsets. And to be decidedly positive rather than annoyed. Thank you Kira Staiger for your beautiful legacy! You truly loved God and lived a life centered in your testimony of Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the knowledge that because of Jesus Christ, this life is not the end to our existence. Families can be together forever, through Heavenly Father's plan! Thank you Andrea for loving your sister so deeply! Her legacy will live on! Listen for those morning birds. Surely they will sing a sing just for you, from her.
For so many personal reasons, I am grateful
God allows us to experience things (even if hard) that remind us
just how good/just/loving He is and just how
perfect His plans/ways are for me.

My I live to serve Him.

Jesus is the Christ.

Friday, October 19, 2012


Some thoughts on my heart this week...
  • I have a co-worker who is gracious, yet confident. Love the example she sets!
  • I am still attracted / drawn to kindness. I hope I can apply / live the virtue of kindness better in my life.
  • I like being able to sing the song of redeeming love, I have missed the time when I have not / could not.
  • The piano moves me. I am so thankful for friends who borrow my piano to practice--meanwhile filling my home with the sweetest spirit. (click here)
  • I watched this (click here thanks Kat for posting) and sat in reverent awh of this woman. When I finished watching it I desired to be better about shaving off anything that is not worthy of my time, my efforts, or my focus. I often think about the quote below... it is a reminder to me that I better be about what the Lord wants me to be about. Even if I feel I am choosing good things to do--I am to council with Him in all my doings... that He may direct me for good (Alma 37:37). It's easy to be "doing". But what doings am I doing? Are they for Him, approved by Him?
       "It wasn’t long before we realized that there were a lot of things a stake presidency could do—so many, in fact, that if we didn’t set inspired priorities, we might miss doing the important ones. Competing priorities began to arise, deflecting our focus from the vision shared by the Brethren. There were many “good” things to do, but not all of them mattered most.   
       "We learned an important lesson: the fact that something is good is not always reason enough to require our time and resources." --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf 
  • I "happened" to come across my friend's inspiring journey of faith, how to use it, and how she applied it in her life to obtain a dream she had. Her applications of faith, and her bluntness / straight forward directness of how truly it works = BEAUTIFUL! Time reading, well invested. Thank you Mel. (click here for Faith and Pianos and just treat yourself to two of Mel's drawing posts. They gave me a fun chuckle! I sooo relate with the ipad, I LOVE mine too! Laugh with Mel's drawings on Pregnancy and the Demise of Veganism click here, and ipad love click here.)
  • Tonight I studied "How to Survive in Enemy Territory" --President Packer's address in the Oct Ensign... EPIC talk! Mine is completely highlighted/marked up! Worthy of your time read! (Click here). 
"Discovering how the Holy Ghost operates in your life is the quest of a lifetime. Once you have made that discovery for yourself, you can live in enemy territory and will not be deceived or destroyed."--President Packer.
  • A kid in institute made the comment about why he thought that the sacrament prayers tell us to always remember Christ. There is power in remembering. He shared that even when his days are filled with scripture study and temple attendance, which are good things, his life takes on a higher level of power and strength/peace when he actually strives to remember / think literally of Christ through out his day. I was inspired by his observation. I am striving to live the true principle he shared. 
  • Sister Petersen my, New Testament teacher, shared that it is better to have a positive thought than a negative though. Well said! 
  • A friend shared their thoughts on how it is okay to fail and to discover that you aren't the greatest / best at something or perhaps your efforts, even well intended, were / end up being a flop. Can there be any true success without the pains of trial and error?! Great truth. We are to never give up! Discouragement is a tool of the Devil. And how about the fear OF failing / not succeeding... fear immobilizes us. Satan's a clever one. Jesus Christ however, TRUMPS all aspects. The Savior can calm our fear, if we let Him. He can cause faith to replace doubt and to strengthen one / give power / courage to seize the day, finish the task, to keep walking the path that is unclear.
  • I am finding the power and truth of Elder Christofferson's Daily Bread talk... (click here). I am being taught the power of pleading for the "bread" I need for the day. Never mind about tomorrow, there is enough evil in that all ready, but there is power in pleading and asking for what will sustain me just today.
  • I have a testimony of the beauty, peace and freedom of fighting / living the battle of overcoming the natural man.
  • What comes out of the mouth truly defiles the man. (Matt 15:18) May my insides be worthy of coming outside.
Conclusion: Or rather another beginning. Here's to another day of pleading for the Lord for the daily bread I need.... in doing so, I have been strengthened against the fiery ever so tempting ugly darts of the adversary. Here's to the woman who is my role model in quiet, yet powerful confidence. Here's to kindness in His redeeming love. Here's to pianos being obtained and played, faith exercised, and reminders/skills on How TO SURVIVE in Enemy Territory. Here's to the kid who opened his mouth about his thoughts on the Savior. I want to be like Jesus.

Be of good cheer.
The future is as bright as your faith. 
--President Monson

I am grateful for goodly parents.
I love you mom and dad.

Sunday, October 14, 2012


Thanks Hill for the soft "kick" that it has almost been a month without posting...! :) I love you.

Many miracles, and moments of deep gratitude. God has been so kind even when not deserving. Doesn't the scriptures say that even "...if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." So we are never really deserving, but yet because we are His, and He loves us... He deemed us deserving of the sacrifice of His only begotten, perfect son... So undeserving, and yet He desires us to partake of all that He has...

Our big annual Reunion for work came and went. Too many miracles to count, but I will share just two very personal ones. With only one Saturday before the event, I literally had a window of 40 mins to go shopping for the banquet night. I had not put off shopping for a gown, just really didn't have any time to spare/put towards shoppping. (And yes it doesn't help that I really dislike shopping or anything like it.) I had put in my heart and mind faith that God would help me get something with no time and no extra money set aside in my budget.
   As I finished up work that Saturday, I said a quick prayer sharing my delemha of time and funds with the Lord. I felt impressed to head over to Dillards. Now I had been there a few weeks prior but was in a hurry, and did not see anything.
I pulled into Dillards a little frantic knowing I only had time for one store. In I went and after 15 mins found a wrap around top for 40 bucks that I was not thrilled about but at least I could throw on a skirt and call it good. Just as I was walking back to the dressing room, my eye caught a zebra print. ME- Zebra print...yes, that is kind of a joke. And it was another joke that I was shopping back in the section where I used to shop when I was 100 pounds heavier. But here was this (I call it a tent) type blouse. HUGE in size, but to my mind was brought a vision of how I could make it work. I grabbed the shirt and went into the dressing room. Sure enough, this $22 wonder would work just fine! 5 mins found me with a fancy pin to tack under my bust line to hold the whole "tent" together... and wallah! In 20 mins I had my banquet get up, modest and somewhat cheap. God is sure good!
   The following Wed had us setting up our event. Look how cool my designer is! Not to mention how great Zermatt was for letting us deck out their bear. Here is the before and after shot of Marin Barny's genus. You can't tell but this bear even has sparkly eyelashes! What a sight to be hold! Heritage Makers book loving consultant blinded out bear TRUMPS plain old accordion playing boring statute bear! ;)
   Wed setup came together pretty smoothly. My team and I were all exhausted by the end of the night but thankfully we always can count on event adrenalin to kick in!
  Thursday morning and afternoon had me running around coordinating the different meetings and events. I came out to our registration desk at 4:40pm only to find that I had made a HUGE mistake. I didn't order enough of the registration shirts. (Everyone who comes to the three day event, receives a registration gift of a pen, booklet, charm, bag and a tshirt.)
   How many events do I do a year!? And how many years have I been about this? A mistake like that could be easy for a rookie planner, and although I am no Patti yet, I surely am not a newbie either. And Yes it is "just" a tshirt, but a tshirt that teams plan an evening around wearing so they can do team pictures... and it is never fun being "left out" so the pressure was on. How do I fix this awesome challenge. The truth was... I couldn't.
   I ran and called my vendor and without trying to freak out asked him if he could some how get me 40 more shirts. Now the logistics of this little nightmare were quite amazing. Steve, my awesome shirt vendor, said that he would call and see if any warehouses had stock. The plan was he would call and I would start counting up exactly how many of each size I was in need of. I frantically counted with my ever willing and beyond patient/forgiving team. I called Steve back at almost 7 mins to 5 to give him my numbers. He said that the warehouses he was calling didn't seem to have any stock in med shirts--which med shirts was the most quantity of shirt I was in need of.
    I ended the phone call with Steve knowing that I had just requested the impossible. Here it was practically 5pm. I was asking that one of his vendors overnight the shirts to him to get there by the next morning, so his team could re-screen and print and have them to me no later than Saturday morning. *Reminder this was Thursday night. The impossible. Heavy hearted and sick over my mistake I went into one of the restrooms and locked myself in the handicap stall. I knelt down. I told the Lord that it was all my fault. Truly, it was a complete error on my part. I just simply had not ordered enough shirts. I asked the Lord that if there was a way to get the shirts to Steve--that he might be inspired what warehouses to call and those who had not closed their shipping for the day. ...  I still don't know how I made such a mistake, but I did. I prepared my heart for the worst and got up off the restroom floor and headed out to my next meeting which was to do a team picture in our awesome photobooth before heading to our opening session.
   I was getting ready to jump into a photobooth at about 5:20pm. I had not heard back from Steve so I figured the shirts were a no go.
  As I got into the photobooth to take these pictures with my team, my phone rang.

"Bryndi, it's Steve. I found a warehouse. They are overtightened the shirts tonight. I will receive them in the morning. We will print them and have them ready for pick up by tomorrow afternoon. I have to go, talk to you tomorrow." I wanted to start crying right there. I thanked Steve and told him he was an answer to prayer. And Steve (who knows how this impossible thing just happened) became quite and said basically that this could only have happened because of God. Steve acknowledged the impossible becoming possible. My sweet parents stopped by Steve's warehouse and in less than 24 hours--I had enough tshirts to fill the registration needs!
   Why did God have to save my hide? Really He didn't have to. There is truly no blame for the situation but my own mistake. No one else... and yet God pulled out all the stops! The tears flowed freely that night as I knelt in gratitude for God's kindness and mercy.
   Once the whole event was over, I spent a day fasting in gratitude, crying and taking time in the temple. Truly, the Lord got me through the event. He always does. And I know He always will, but there is always this deep satisfaction/gratitude for when such events are finished. God is such a God of mercy.

I had a dear friend teach me a valuable lesson. She had a project coming up that required travel time for her co-workers. Without praying about it she asked one of the folks on her team to go. But after offering the spot she prayed about what she should have done and she felt that she had made a mistake. That the one she was asking to go was not the one to go. My beautiful friend's next action was what was so stunning to me. She went back to God and said she had made a mistake and that now He was going to have to either fix it and get the right person to go on the task, or make the one she had offered to go, be able to go/work out.
   The next day, the person she had offered to have help with the task came back to her and said she felt impressed she was not to accept. THUS, my friend could go back and follow through with what she felt impressed to do with her prayer.
   No stewing, or beating her self up over her mistake. She simply acknowledged she had made a mistake (not on purpose but a lesson learned that she should have prayed first before just extending) and exercised her agency to have faith that God would either correct the mistake or make the person selected to work out. What incredible faith! What a beautiful testimony and reminder. Thou shalt not make a mistake was never a thou shalt... So even when we make those mistakes, God, who loves perfectly, does not with hold his love from us. The deliverer is in the house! **This doesn't mean that we will be delivered right away. My friend's faith was that God would either get the right person to do the task, or He would work with the one originally assigned.Great lesson! And what a difference in when I made the shirt mistake and tried to not let my guilt consume me. My friend's simple, but defiant faith was that she had made a mistake, learned her lesson, trusted that God would work with her mistake or make it work out the way He wanted it to.... and He did!

So at the beginning of the semester I felt impressed I needed to attend a certain class at institute. The topic was applicable and I anticipated all I would learn...however my love for Wed night institute turned into drudgery. Although I loved my teacher, I was not loving their teaching style. :/
   When it involves others, I am a commitment girl. I am not just going to drop a class because I was not "feeling it". Plus, I wasn't putting it all on the teacher. Hadn't I preached enough about how if one is not getting something out of the meeting, then one is not going prepared. ... But week after week I started dreading going to institute.
   After a month into the new semester, my girlfriend's work schedule opened up and she asked if she could start going to institute with me. I figure she would attend the class I was attending and I almost wanted to suggest to her that she should go to a different class, but I didn't for some reason. ??
   Finally my soul seemed to not take it any more. I prayed about skipping the class and joining another. I worried about my girlfriend and having her follow what I felt was like being a horrible example. I also felt bad for the teacher whom I do love and I know they love me--but I just felt like I was wasting my time. Trying to swallow down the guilt, I told my teacher that I needed to go to the other class room. My friend, thankfully stayed in the class. Her not "flowing" me to my new class helped me feel that at least I didn't set an example she would follow.
   Within 10 mins of the new class, I was LOVING institute life again. The room was filled with the sweetest spirit. My teacher is a convert from England and has a passion for the gospel. It was night and day difference to my soul. I felt the whole evening I was on cloud nine! I then worried that when I told my friend how amazing my new class was, she would jump ships too, and I didn't want to do this to the other teacher.
   Well after me spouting all the amazing things of the new class on our drive home, my friend informed me that she would not be changing classes. She said that she felt she was to be in the class and that she was already being able to start applying all the things she was learning about marriage/preparing for it on she and her boyfriend's relationship. ... ! CLICK! I started to jab at her arm teasingly, that God put me in that class, knowing she would start coming months in. He knew she would come to my class. And once she was hooked to the class (that it is likely she would not have chosen to take)--she stayed and I was FREED and allowed to move on. Oh I tell you want... JOYFUL evening! I could not stop freaking out at how good the new class was for me. And among a few other things I learned, if the drudgery of institute was just so my friend could end up in the right class... I say Hallelujah! God knows us perfectly. Thank goodness toO!
There are so many more little things I could type but this will have to be all for now.
I report that I did my three part challenge. I read the conference ensign cover to cover right after the April 2012 General Conference. Then I started studying all the conference talks (one a day) going backwards with the prophets. I got back through 2000. What an amazing treat that was to read all of Monson's talks and then a bunch of President Hinckley's talks. Not only was the journey of studying just the prophet's talks insightful, it was deeply moving to see God's hand and hear God's words through His chosen vessels. I feel more clearer than ever that there is so much good stuff to be had! To be taken in! How can I waste any of my time when there are so many pearls and fair stones God would have me line my path and the path of others!?!
   I then did the part 3 challenge of re-reading all of the April talks right before the Oct General Conference. Seriously, the insight/revelation/pricking and stirrings of my heart have been intense over the last six months. Great challenge! I highly recommend trying it!
   General Conference was amazing! I highly recommend checking it out if you didn't have the chance too! Click Here to view God's words through his chosen tools!

I am grateful for repentance and fasting.