Friday, December 31, 2010


So confession! Remember when President Hinckley said, "...the minimal piercing of the ears by women for one pair of earrings.” -- I was in college at the time and I remember very well hearing the counsel. I think it was only six or so months before that, that I went out and got a 2nd earring pierce in my right ear. AND OH HOW I LOVED THE Diamond that or small hoop I kept there. I LOVED IT! ("Love" probably doesn't describe enough the emotion I had for a little extra piece of metal placed in my ear.) I never regret getting that piercing... what I do regret is my attitude and lack to follow counsel given. I heard the prophet say it, and in my mind completely justified/came to the conclusion rather too quickly that his counsel surely didn't apply to me. After all I was keeping commandments and trying to live my life right. Ya, you might be saying, as I have come to see--the commandment about following the prophet must have been slipping my mind!

I remember going to institute that week--Miracle of Forgiveness. The section "just happened" to be on following the prophets. Nothing was said about the earring comment just made the weekend prior at general conference... but I remember distinctly that I my soul was wracked. And almost as if I had had a battle outwardly, I shot my hands up to my ear while saying, "Okay, okay, I will take it out". I took out the little diamond stud and threw it away. I am sure there were others in the class that must have thought I was crazy. Now, I never regret getting the earring. At the time it was not against counsel. I do regret that it took me several days to follow the counsel of the Lord's servant. I really didn't think his council applied to me.

Since then, my spirit has become a little more "hyper/sensitive" to try to catch areas where I am justifying not following what is taught. I have had many great examples placed in my life to remind me that I need to be looking for what is asked of me, and then following.

A month or so after conference, I was visiting with a dear mission friend. We were talking about how awesome the RS conference was. She made the comment about when she heard that we RS sisters need to be studying from our history, her thought was, "Oh no, one more thing I need to start researching--how am I going to find time." She was relieved when Sister Beck made the comment that they have already compiled a history book on RS that will come out for us. My friend was sorry that she was a little grumpy she had the thought of dread in where she was going to make the time to do research on history... UM PERSPECTIVE! I was floored that my friend had even had such a thought... didn't even cross my mind that I should start studying from the history of RS. I heard Julie B. Beck state it--but the thought that I needed to do it--never crossed my mind. That is what I am talking about! I have this disease of not thinking things apply to me. SO.. I found a weakness I really don't want--and I have been working to not be in the category of, "well that doesn't apply to me" mode.

Because of this sweet sister's comment, and my sin of omission of taking so long to follow Pres. Hinckley's words--has made me a little hyper sensitive and this past general conference, I was bound and determined to be more in-tune/willing to apply whatever was said of the prophet that I would apply, go, and do. I just wanted to make sure my spirit recognized that what he says for all--applies to me too!

I know there was lots to catch, and I am working on his constant theme/reminder of gratitude-- but one thing I caught to do was President Monson said,
"I hope that we will take the time to read the conference talks, which will be printed in the November issue of the Ensign...for they are deserving of our careful study."
Now I know he didn't command us in a "thou shalt read the ensign" way--but I really do want to get rid of the weakness of not seeing/hearing/applying to myself.

SOOO-- Confession - (what a way to end my year with all these confessions! ;) ) I have never, that I can recall, ever read the conference ensign cover to cover before. I probably listen to the conference at least 8-10 times over and over before the next conference--but I have never sat down and studied the pages. I have been a little opposed to it, because I listen to them while cleaning or exercising or traveling. Well, not wanting another regret in an omission--I decided I would read one conference talk a day... and for the first time in my life, I read the conference edition cover to cover. And can I tell you--I have very few pages that are not marked up!

When I was telling a sister of mine about the amazing journey it has been in studying through reading--she questioned if reading is really different than listening--and in with a resounding, "YES" I answer her question. At least it has been for me.

I remember working in the temple and a brother that would come quite often on my shift pulled me aside and asked if there were different blessings that came from being a temple worker as apposed to being a patron. I told him for me there had sure been. Being a worker in the temple brought choice choice blessings and experiences into my life. But if I fell into the trap of thinking, "I work in the temple, so therefore I didn't need to go as a patron" I missed out on blessings that come from only being a patron.

I found that it is true for general conference. I have found power and answers to prayers with listening over and over to the general conference talks. And in a more powerful way--studying from the conference ensign--so different are the blessings that have come into my life through the careful read/pondering of it's pages. It took me two days to just go over Richard G. Scott's talk--and I still feel a week long study of his talk alone would still render countless mysteries unfolded and still lots more to be gained and understand.

Holy Cow! I AM A BELIEVER!! I hope to pour over every conference edition ensign from now on. It changed me. It was beauitful. I HIGHLY recommend the challenge! :)

Christmas was amazing... can I share a little something with you? I had prayed and God gave me a list of some folks to see on Christmas Eve. I had no idea how I was going to hit those on my list for they seemed to live in all opposite directions from my finally destination=Christmas BBQ Salmon with my folks and then off to caroling to the branches widows. (The caroling with my folks to these choice friends is my favorite--will forever stay Christmas tradition.)

Well God made a way and I was able to make the visits I had felt impressed I needed to do. On my hurried drive up the canyon--it was late in the evening, the canyon was dark and I was driving with a purdital (one headlight missing) car. As I came around a bend--all of a sudden there was a large dear within not even three feet from my car. I didn't notice the deer until it was right there. My heart jumped and I drove past un-harmed and the deer safe too. I know, "Bryndi there are deer in the canyon all the time" but had you seen this deer--you would have notice as did I that the body was ready to leap probably from the scare of my one car headlight. (I know, I still need to get that fixed!) The deer was going to leap right into my car. It's body was facing (looking to charge) right into my car--but it's head was facing the opposite way. As I drove past, deep gratitude set in and I pondered over what could have been and I questioned why the Deer had not jumped. To my minds eye, came the image of someone dressed in white at the side of the deer. The person was holding their arms around the neck of the deer and the deer was being held from leaping into my car.

I cried as I thought of the image of this unknown, only seen in my minds eye, angel--who protected me so that I could not have any delay in getting to be with my parents and going caroling. The tears came down as to how, because of the lack of light and hurry of the moment, I hadn't seen the deer until it was right by my car. I pondered over why the Lord would be so kind. I felt it was a blessing for going the places he wanted me to be that day--and in return he was allowing me to go to the place I longed to be for Christmas Eve.

A family member, a relative, an ancestor or a past friend? I have no idea who the angel was, but an angel dressed in white it surely was. With my hand over my mouth, I wept in gratitude, for several mins afterwards.

I am an accountability partner for a friend that has had a battle with pornography. There is this awesome sight that is called that will put a block on websites and give you a high level of filter. Then once a week or however many times you want a report--the accountability partner gets an email with all the websites viewed/searches attempted.

I have been the accountability partner for my friend for several months now. A few weeks ago, the report came through and it was alarming. I didn't dare check the sites that had been visited/attempted to be visited on my work computer because I feared what might come on my computer. I made a mental note to check the sites when I got home to my mac. I LOVE macs for the fact that pop ups are hard to come through. I kept forgetting to check when I was at home... until finally I remembered.

The keywords were new to me--and I was saddened by the terms that could pull up such filth. I needed to verify the sites my friend had visited so I could know if it was a problem site. Nervously I clicked on one, and had a beauitful miracle take place.

Yes, sure enough it was a horrible search. When the page opened--although there was MUCH to look at, God had my eyes focused on a particular part of the page that was demeaning to women yes, but was the least "yuck" possible to see. I quickly closed the window and clicked on one more to check, and again, awful was the site, but God had me focus on a particular spot on the page long enough to confirm and then to get out!!

What is so amazing to me--is that I really didn't "see" anything that would leave a haunting image. I know they were on the page--many many disrespecting pictures, but when I opened them, literally, my eyes were blurred from seeing them and I was able to get out. This happened on both pages.

I count this as a tender mighty miracle from God. I was able to keep my accountability in order because I knew that what my friend was dealing with was real--but God had me verify without having to see any images that would stay in my mind. I can't describe it, but I know was a miracle from God. A kind of tunnel vision/blurred stigmatism kind of thing really happened with my eyes.

I lOVED Elder Ballard's talk on addictions-- in all their forms. He said:
"Brothers and sisters, stay away from any kind of substance that may trap you."
"Remember...any kind of addiction is to surrender to something, thus relinquishing agency and becoming dependent."
"Medical research describes addiction as "a disease of the brain." This is true, but I believe that once Satan has someone in his grasp, it also becomes a disease of the spirit. But no matter what addictive cycle one is caught in, there is always hope."
"To those who are dealing with an addiction personally or within yoru family, I repeat, fervent prayer is key to gaining the spiritual strength to find peace and overcome an addictive craving. Heavenly Father loves all of his children, so thank HIm and express sincere faith in Him. Ask Him for the strength to overcome the addiction you are experiencing. Set aside all pride and turn your life and your heart to Him. Ask to be filled with the power of Christ's pure love. You may have to do this many times, but I testify to you that your body, mind, and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed.
"I have seen the marvelous blessing of recovery that can set one free from the chains of addiction. The Lord is our Shepherd, and we shall not want as we trust in the power of the Atonement. I know the Lord can and will free the addicted from their bondage, for as the Apostle Paul proclaimed, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13)."

OH I AM A BELIEVER! There is hope! There is a way for our deliverance, through our Deliver, Jesus Christ.

We can be made whole through His atonement. Reading/studying the pages of the general conference magazines=life changing.


Friday, December 24, 2010


My heart is so full. I have so much I would like to write about... all the miracles that have come into my life! This year has been filled. What a wonderful time to be alive! And all things are possible because a son was given, a king was born--lived, died and was resurrected to make a way. An atonement was preformed. My eyes have been wet this week. My family, the gospel of Jesus Christ, answered prayers, prayers that were "no", forgiveness, new friends, size 16, kindness, surprising relationships, temples, covenants, garments, Bishops, best friends, snuggles, morning jogs with an angel, saggy skin, understanding, The Book of Mormon, waterproof mascara, priesthood blessings, sealings, aunts and uncles, piano recital, moments alone, sweat, 30 inches, time with sisters, living with my best friends, laughter, seeing change, wanting change, hope, writing, truths, insights, time when I can study and ponder, food to eat, an earring stand, a plan, reassurances, confidence, light, 92 pounds, sister-in-laws=sisters, family scripture study, prayer, mysteries unfolded, for the guy who said something first :), belief, constant/consistent love. These are just a few of the many beauitful things that came in my 2010 year. I stand all amazed! My heart is full.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Tonight while in institute, the teacher made a comment about the gift of the Holy Ghost. He said it in such a way, and with such a pause, that my brain seemed to be registering it in a different way.
Bruce R. McConkie stated:
By the grace of God — following devotion, faith, and obedience on man's part — certain special spiritual blessings called gifts of the Spirit are bestowed upon men. Their receipt is always predicated upon obedience to law, but because they are freely available to all the obedient, they are called gifts. They are signs and miracles reserved for the faithful and for none else.

Moroni says that the gifts of God come from Christ, by the power of the Holy Ghost and by the Spirit of Christ. (Moro. 10.) In other words, the gifts come by the power of that Spirit who is the Holy Ghost, but the Spirit of Christ (or light of Christ) is the agency through which the Holy Ghost operates.

Their purpose is to enlighten, encourage, and edify the faithful so that they will inherit peace in this life and be guided toward eternal life in the world to come. Their presence is proof of the divinity of the Lord's work; where they are not found, there the Church and kingdom of God is not. The promise is that they shall never be done away as long as the earth continues in its present state, except for unbelief (Moro. 10:19), but when the perfect day comes and the saints obtain exaltation, there will be no more need for them. As Paul expressed it, "When that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away." (1 Cor. 13.)

Faithful persons are expected to seek the gifts of the Spirit with all their hearts. They are to "covet earnestly the best gifts" (1 Cor. 12:31; D. & C. 46:8), to "desire spiritual gifts" (1 Cor. 14:1), "to ask of God, who giveth liberally." (D. & C. 46:7; Matt. 7:7-8.) To some will be given one gift; to others, another; and "unto some it may be given to have all those gifts, that there may be a head, in order that every member may be profited thereby." (D. & C. 46:29.)

From the writings of Paul (1 Cor. 12; 13; 14), and of Moroni (Moro. 10), and from the revelations received by Joseph Smith (D. & C. 46), we gain a clear knowledge of spiritual gifts and how they operate. Among others, we find the following gifts named either in these three places or elsewhere in the scriptures: the gift of knowing by revelation "that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world" (D. & C. 46:13), and also the gift of believing the testimony of those who have gained this revelation; the gifts of testimony, of knowing that the Book of Mormon is true, and of receiving revelations; the gifts of judgment, knowledge, and wisdom; of teaching, exhortation, and preaching; of teaching the word of wisdom and the word of knowledge; of declaring the gospel and of ministry; the gift of faith, including power both to heal and to be healed; the gifts of healing, working of miracles, and prophesy; the viewing of visions, beholding of angels and ministering spirits, and the discerning of spirits; speaking with tongues, the interpretation of tongues, the interpretation of languages, and the gift of translation; the differences of administration in the Church and the diversities of operation of the Spirit; the gift of seership, "and a gift which is greater can no man have." (Mosiah 8:16; Alma 9:21; D. & C. 5:4; 43:3-4; Rom. 12:6-8.) And these are by no means all of the gifts. In the fullest sense, they are infinite in number and endless in their manifestations.

I love that last two sentences... "And these are by no means all of the gifts. In the fullest sense, they are infinite in number and endless in their manifestations." (emphasis added).

So as I sat in institute (this is the first time going to institute in over a year, maybe it has been close to two years--Micarie I want you to come with me!) and heard the teacher talk about the "gift" of the Holy Ghost-- it clicked! That is a type of gift every member of the church receives. That gift is available to all who will have faith on Jesus Christ, repent, and be baptized by someone who has authority--can and will receive the "GIFT" of the Holy Ghost! Whether we choose to keep the gift/live with it daily will be up to each individual. It is up to me.

So simple--and yet my heart started pondering the significance of everyone who wants it can receive THAT gift. A constant companion, a constant guide. And with that gift comes an "infinite...endless" other gifts one can seek to obtain. But we all get that gift of the Holy Ghost--if we will claim it! Very cool.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Dear Friends and Family,

Andrea, my friend, and I bumped into each other a few weeks ago. She and her family are working towards adopting a young girl from Haiti. It is an amazing story click here to read! As Andrea shared with me the chain of events to how this all came to be--we both were relishing in the tender mercies of God! God is the one who has been guiding Andrea's family to adopt Kethia and the things He has already done in preparation--have been nothing short of a lot of miracles!

For this month only - ANY comments posted on the SixSeeds CLICK HERE website--the site will donate $2 dollars to Kethia's adoption. That is awesome!! SOOOO if you will just take a min to post an encouraging word to Andrea's family, you will be the means of "doing much good"(D&C 6:8)!

Read this quote last night-- AMAZINGLY PROFOUND and true!
"No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life" --Richard G. Scott
Love you all!

The church is true! Jesus is the Christ! We can go "boldly" before the throne in mighty prayer (Hebrews 4:16), for our Heavenly Father hears every sincere prayer (Moroni 10:4).

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Today the spirit world was privileged to receive fully one choice daughter of God. A woman of great faith, kindness, service, humor, fun, and love. An aunt that would let me make no bake cookies every week for months with her kids and when driving to a church to go sing, she let me pull over at least seven different times to shoot the eagle in the passing tree. Never mind that it was freezing outside. And never mind I made she and I late for the little program we were apart of. She just laughed at how exited I was to see an eagle. A woman that loved deeply and didn't let the world stress her out. Today the spirit world received Becky Cloward. An amazing wife/lover. A wonderful mother of four kids. I surely don't understand God's ways for they are not my own. But even in the Dark--God has a plan.

Oh you lucky spirit world... You just received our angel.
Love you Beck. Love you.

Monday, November 1, 2010


I have a habit of singing a hymn all the way through before saying my morning or night prayers. Today was "Rejoice, the Lord is King". In such a real personal way, this spoke to me and I wept. Lift up my head, Lift up my heart, and REJOICE. Today I am rejoicing in family ties. For good Aunts and Uncles in my life. For the gospel, for Jesus Christ and his never failing love--for me.

I went to go date the top of my hymn book to symbolize that the song was an answer to prayer... and then I looked at my watch. Today is 11.1.10. Exactly 7 years ago I was in the temple Timp Temple--taking out my endowments. I always try to go to the temple on my anniversary--but this week will have to wait until tomorrow morning.

... My heart is full. My head is lifted. And I AM rejoicing in MY King. Whatever God wants, His will be done.

But I do believe in miraculous miracles.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Mom came home last night and as we sat around the table, she told us of the new Provo Temple presidency that would be coming. They shared some of the training they received from the first presidency in Salt Lake. In regards to the temple, temple workers are to treat everyone with kindness. "Error" on the side of kindness. From big jewelry, to forgetting to change out colored underclothes, to whatever. Love the patrons. As mom shared these thoughts, a sweetness filled the air. Kindness = an attribute that wins me over time and time again. (I am sure this is true thinking for most folks.)

Jade, a great mission companion (now pregnant with twins!) wrote a blog post (click here) on mean vs. kind. Besides being a great writer, I was touched by her shout out to do more random acts of kindness to strangers.

My visiting teaching companion, Becca, is always showing love and kindness. Especially to anyone who may be tempted to feel like the underdog.

Don't even get me started on Sam. Kindness is just part of his "being".

I really do LOVE and cherish kindness. I am in need to sharpening that saw, but it is something for whatever reason-my senses are keenly aware of when it is being offered. Not just to me, but more when it is being offered around me.

My ultimate FAVORITE talk on this subject is from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. I cried/rejoiced/felt more determined-dedicated to make kindness more apart of my life after hearing this talk. (Still a work in progress...)

The Virtue of Kindness
Many years ago, when I was called as a bishop, I had a desire for the bishopric to visit those who were less active in the Church and see if there was anything we could do to bring the blessings of the gospel into their lives.

One day we visited a man in his 50s who was a respected mechanic. He told me the last time he had been to church was when he was a young boy. Something had happened that day. He had been acting up in class and was being noisier than he should when his teacher became angry, pulled him out of class, and told him not to come back.

He never did.

It was remarkable to me that an unkind word spoken more than four decades earlier could have had such a profound effect. But it had. And, as a consequence, this man had never returned to church. Neither had his wife or children.

I apologized to him and expressed my sorrow that he had been treated that way. I told him how unfortunate it was that one word spoken in haste, and so long ago, could have the effect of excluding his family from the blessings that come from Church activity.

“After 40 years,” I told him, “it’s time the Church made things right.”

I did my best to do so. I reassured him that he was welcome and needed. I rejoiced when this man and his family eventually returned to church and became strong and faithful members. In particular, this good brother became an effective home teacher because he understood how something as small as an unkind word could have consequences that extend throughout a lifetime and perhaps beyond.

Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.

Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can linger with us over the years. One day, when I was in college, a man seven years my senior congratulated me on my performance in a football game. He not only praised how well I had done in the game, but he had noticed that I had showed good sportsmanship. Even though this conversation happened more than 60 years ago, and even though it’s highly unlikely the person who complimented me has any recollection of this conversation, I still remember the kind words spoken to me that day by Gordon B. Hinckley, who would later become President of the Church.

The attributes of thoughtfulness and kindness are inseparably linked with President Hinckley. When my father passed away in 1963, President Hinckley was the first person to come to our home. I’ll never forget his kindness. He gave my mother a blessing and, among other things, promised her that she had much to look forward to and that life would be sweet for her. These words have brought comfort to her and to me, and I’ll never forget his kindness.

Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes.

Jesus, our Savior, was the epitome of kindness and compassion. He healed the sick. He spent much of His time ministering to the one or many. He spoke compassionately to the Samaritan woman who was looked down upon by many. He instructed His disciples to allow the little children to come unto Him. He was kind to all who had sinned, condemning only the sin, not the sinner. He kindly allowed thousands of Nephites to come forward and feel the nail prints in His hands and feet. Yet His greatest act of kindness was found in His atoning sacrifice, thus freeing all from the effects of death, and all from the effects of sin, on conditions of repentance.

The Prophet Joseph Smith exemplified kindness in his life to everyone, old and young. One child who benefited from the Prophet’s kindness remembered:

“My older brother and I were going to school, near to the building which was known as Joseph’s brick store. It had been raining the previous day, causing the ground to be very muddy, especially along that street. My brother Wallace and I both got [our feet] in the mud, and could not get out, and of course, child-like, we began to cry, for we thought we would have to stay there. But looking up, I beheld the loving friend of children, the Prophet Joseph, coming to us. He soon had us on higher and drier ground. Then he stooped down and cleaned the mud from our little, heavy-laden shoes, took his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped our tear-stained faces. He spoke kind and cheering words to us, and sent us on our way to school rejoicing.” 1

There is no substitute for kindness in the home. This lesson I learned from my father. He always listened to my mother’s advice. As a result, he was a better, wiser, and kinder man.

I have tried to follow my father’s example and listen to my wife’s point of view. I value her opinion. For example, when my wife begins a sentence with the words “I should think you would …” I instantly pay attention and begin searching my mind for something I may have done wrong. Ofttimes before my wife has finished her sentence, I have already planned out in my mind a magnificent apology.

In truth, my wife is a model of kindness, gentleness, and compassion. And her insight, counsel, and support have been invaluable to me. Because of her I, too, am a wiser and kinder person.

The things you say, the tone of your voice, the anger or calm of your words—these things are noticed by your children and by others. They see and learn both the kind and the unkind things we say or do. Nothing exposes our true selves more than how we treat one another in the home.

I often wonder why some feel they must be critical of others. It gets in their blood, I suppose, and it becomes so natural they often don’t even think about it. They seem to criticize everyone—the way Sister Jones leads the music, the way Brother Smith teaches a lesson or plants his garden.

Even when we think we are doing no harm by our critical remarks, consequences often follow. I am reminded of a boy who handed a donation envelope to his bishop and told him it was for him. The bishop, using this as a teaching moment, explained to the boy that he should mark on the donation slip whether it was for tithing, fast offerings, or for something else. The boy insisted the money was for the bishop himself. When the bishop asked why, the boy replied, “Because my father says you’re one of the poorest bishops we’ve ever had.”

The Church is not a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, or have perfect thoughts, or have perfect feelings. The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to provide encouragement, support, and service to each other as we press on in our journey to return to our Heavenly Father.

Each one of us will travel a different road during this life. Each progresses at a different rate. Temptations that trouble your brother may not challenge you at all. Strengths that you possess may seem impossible to another.

Never look down on those who are less perfect than you. Don’t be upset because someone can’t sew as well as you, can’t throw as well as you, can’t row or hoe as well as you.

We are all children of our Heavenly Father. And we are here with the same purpose: to learn to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. 2

One way you can measure your value in the kingdom of God is to ask, “How well am I doing in helping others reach their potential? Do I support others in the Church, or do I criticize them?”

If you are criticizing others, you are weakening the Church. If you are building others, you are building the kingdom of God. As Heavenly Father is kind, we also should be kind to others.

Elder James E. Talmage, a man who is remembered for his doctrinal teachings, showed great kindness to a neighbor family in distress. They were complete strangers to him. Before he was an Apostle, as a young father, he became aware of great suffering at a neighbor’s home whose large family was stricken with the dreaded diphtheria. He did not care that they were not members of the Church; his kindness and charity moved him to act. The Relief Society was desperately trying to find people to help, but no one would because of the contagious nature of the disease.

When he arrived, James found one toddler already dead and two others who were in agony from the disease. He immediately went to work, cleaning the untidy house, preparing the young body for burial, cleaning and providing for the other sick children, spending the entire day doing so. He came back the next morning to find that one more of the children had died during the night. A third child was still suffering terribly. He wrote in his journal: “She clung to my neck, ofttimes coughing [germs] on my face and clothing, … yet I could not put her from me. During the half hour immediately preceding her death, I walked the floor with the little creature in my arms. She died in agony at 10 a.m.” The three children had all departed within the space of 24 hours. He then assisted the family with the burial arrangements and spoke at their graveside services. 3 This he did all for a family of strangers. What a great example of Christlike kindness!

When we are filled with kindness, we are not judgmental. The Savior taught, “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” 4 He also taught that “with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” 5

“But,” you ask, “what if people are rude?”

Love them.

“If they are obnoxious?”

Love them.

“But what if they offend? Surely I must do something then?”

Love them.


The answer is the same. Be kind. Love them.

Why? In the scriptures Jude taught, “And of some have compassion, making a difference.” 6

Who can tell what far-reaching impact we can have if we are only kind?

My brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ transcends mortality. Our work here is but a shadow of greater and unimaginable things to come.

The heavens opened to the Prophet Joseph Smith. He saw the living God and His Son, Jesus the Christ.

In our day, a prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, walks the earth and provides direction for our time.

As our Heavenly Father loves us, we also should love His children.

May we be models of kindness. May we ever live up to the words of the Savior: “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” 7 Of these truths I bear witness in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I know that I have no excuse because I am in a very selfish time in my life--but for the last week I have had the hardest time getting out of bed! I have no children, I have no husband, and I have nothing to even justify this action. To all my married friends, I know I know! :) When I have a family such luxuries are not to be found.

Now before you go thinking I am completely lazy, I am getting up by 6:30-7, but with a morning like that...well let me share my thoughts today.

What a blessing it was to hit the snooze button for a good hour. My personality is if I HAVE to wake up at a curtain time, I like to set the alarm clock a good 30- 50 mins earlier because I love waking up and knowing that I still get 45 mins more of time in bed. (Yes I realize my future spouse may hate this habit, so I will have to break it I am sure. :)) But for whatever reason the last week, I just have not been able to get out of bed--so not like my personality.

Yesterday as I was frustrated with my morning and my lack of "get up" I found my goal sheet for 2010. Little late to be reading my goals here in Oct. But as I read over all the things I wanted to do and become this year, the spirit filled me and I was determined to overcome this sleeping in habit that I have allowed to creep in for the last week.

This morning, my alarm went off at 4:45. And although I slept in until 5:40, I still got out of bed, threw on my exercise clothes and went out the door. The sky was still black and no stars were out because of a thick low cloud cover. As I turned a corner, I saw a sliver of the moon start to come to a break in the clouds. It is not November yet, but that moon could have passed for a harvest moon. There was only a little break in the clouds for 20 mins until the moon fell behind the west mountains. The moon was a pumpkin in the sky--HUGE and orange. I smiled as it portrayed the perfect Halloween color. As I finished my exercise, I noted all the cars passing. They were passing under a black sky--where as moments before it was filled with a great orange light. Had those cars come just mins before they would have seen the magnitude and brilliance of the moon. 20 mins--that is all the window of time there was to see it.

How often in my life, do I sleep away or idle 20 mins--here or there-- doing something less then worthy of my precious time? (I say precious, not because my time is a higher value than any time, but President Eyring talked about how sacred it is to have "time" in the last time.) If I had not gotten up this morning, the moon still would have come out-pumpkin like in glory and the break in the clouds still would have let her light shine for 20 mins...the moment still would have been there--but like the late passing cars, I would have not even known the moment existed while asleep in my bed.

I believe this moon is an exact replica of my life. God's hand-in a 20 min or a whatever time-is ever present in my life. I see His works all around me. Storm cloud covers or not. When the break in the clouds come to revel His hand, like the moon in the morning--His miraculous grace and power is there. If I am idling in anyway, I will not be there to see it, or like the passing cars--miss out on such a moment from heaven. Doesn't meant the moments still don't happen, but I for one do not want to be doing things of lesser value that would take me from experiencing such a moment. The moments are always there--throughout the day. And I believe if I am living or striving to live my life in accordance with doing good and striving to keep the commandments--I will see many many more pumpkin moons in the breaks of life.

God's hand is-never hidden-. Am I choosing to be in the places/moments where I can recognize it?

God bless my Pumpkin morning!

Thursday, October 7, 2010


A choice friend recently went through the temple last month. There was a time when she dreaded even the thought of going there. Not because of what it was, but she wanted to make sure she was committed to keep the covenants she entered into there. She went to the temple completely by herself. Her escort was a temple worker. She wanted it this way, because for her, she needed to experience the temple by herself.

She called me up about a week ago and said she was ready to go to the temple with the ward and asked if I would be willing to come. My ward temple night was the day before and being in a new ward I wanted to support them, but this dear friend "going public" with others knowing she was endowed meant a lot to me. I prayed. I was to go with her which I was trilled about. For the last week I have been anticipating to going to the temple with her last night.

Yesterday while at work, I thought of another friend that I had not seen in a long time. I called her up and asked if she would like to come with us. Her situation is quite tough. The amount of afflictions she has in her physical/mental areas are some of the greatest battles. And yet this sweet sister chooses the better path. She could be over come by sorrow and grief and yet she strives to live each day defiant and full of faith. She kills her "odds" with her believe/trust in Jesus Christ.

She said that she would go, but an hour or so later she called me to let me know that she just didn't think she would be able to go. She didn't have any clean clothes and her mom was really sick. I told her that if she would pray about whether to go or not I would support whatever she received. I suggested that she wash her clothes in the tub and hang them up to dry if she was really worried about something to wear. She said she would pray.

A few hours later she left me another message saying she would be ready to go at 6. :)

As I entered her house my heart became heavy as I looked at the challenges that face she and her mom. I was proud of her for wanting to go to the temple.

As I went into her room. She had surgery on her ankle (I think it was her ankle/foot area-don't quote me) and still had the cast on. She has not been to the temple since the beginning of Aug. But cast and crutches she was determined to do a session. I had forgotten my advice about washing her clothes, but as I gave her a hug I was shocked to feel her all wet. She looked BEAUTIFUL! But I exclaimed that her clothes were all wet and she just smiled and told me that she washed them like I had suggested. My heart swelled with the faithfulness of this sweet sister. Now please note- it is Oct, and yesterday in the valley it was so cold that we had a good scuff of snow! This is a picture taken from my car on the way out of work. See that mountain-- there is snow on the top of it!! This tells you it was not the "warmest" of days.

Now this sweet sister was not thinking of the weather outside. I doubt she had been outside for a few days. But here she was wet skirt, shirt, and sweater/cardigan--crutches and cast--hobbling out to my car! What a site. My heart was full.

When we got in my car, I put the heater on to quite a full blast and aimed it her.

We drove picked up our friends and went to the temple. I dropped everyone off as close as I could. I was really worried about getting out of the temple at 9 pm and having her wet clothes make her sick. As I was thinking this, a spot was available for front row parking!! At least I could run to my car and not have her sit out in the cold too long.

I went into the temple and found my adopted grandparents waiting to do initiatory!! This was a surprise because of health reasons the Shepherds had said they wouldn't make it to the stake temple night anymore. This was a kind blessing from God to see them there. I also saw other sisters from my old ward that I so dearly loved--the whole situation was choice.

We went to go do a session. I could not help smiling at my friends and to God. There were two sisters there that were at the temple for their second time. It was beautiful to behold. And there was my friend with her crutches against the wall, just happy to be in the temple.

Through the session I still thought about how when we left the temple with her wet clothes--IF she became sick it would be my fault. I said a silent prayer. I had thought about going and asking the temple workers to dry her clothes in the temple dryers but thinking that would not work because of sanitary reasons--then I thought maybe I could ask them if we could lay out the clothes where the workers change their clothes, perhaps the 1 1/2 of being in the session would allow them to dry out more. The thought of the clothes being in a small locker with no air--just made the thought of her putting them back on wet all the more dreadful. These are the thoughts that raced in my in the session I prayed/asked/thought in my mind that Heavenly Father could send some angles to blow-dry the clothes in the locker. I explained the faith of this sister in coming to the temple that night and all her efforts. Now she had not complained once about her clothes. And in fact--had I not hugged her I would have never known they were wet! She would have just let me taken her for she would have not said a word. That is just how this sister is/has--faith of David and non murmuring like Nephi.

I stewed over her clothes for a few more moments and then focused on the endowment and basked in the sisters sitting around me. I LOVE that God gives us brothers and sisters to love!

The session finished, and it was sweet. I was able to shake my old bishoprics hands in the celestial room--choice sons of God. I told my old Bishop about this sister and her wet clothes. He too knows the type of determination she has, even at the sacrifice of comfort. He beamed with is smile for her.

We all went downstairs. I changed out of my temple clothes and met my friends in the lobby. My cast/crutch using sister was waiting for me. I hugged her...and found her clothes to be completely DRY! Not believing it I rubbed her sweater and exclaimed that the angels had gotten out their blow-dryers! I wanted to cry. She was completely dry.

We talked about the miracle all the way back to her place.
This morning as I got up to walk--the natural man in me wanted to rationalize this miracle. But I have done the math. A locker that is 5 1/2 feet'ish tall 12 inches'ish wide and 15-17 inches'sih deep--no air circulation--wet/damp clothes hanging in there for two hours = still damp/wet clothes coming out! Think of a boys locker room after a practice. Sweaty clothes hung in a locker-no air circulation for two hours = still moist, now smelly, I don't want to go on a date with you if you are wearing those same clothes!

Angels HAVE blow-dryers!

Needless to say - it was a choice night in the temple.

Jesus is the Christ!
God is a God of miracles.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


This morning I awoke quite early to go walking. Just myself, the moon and stars out. It was a choice time to think.

I have been preparing and praying for this weekend...pondering over what questions God would have me ask. For whatever reason I questioned whether I had received any personal revelation in the April general conference.

As I walked a quick flood of memories came to me as I remembered the Saturday morning session back in April. I had quite a bit of inner turmoil in my life at the time and I remembered watching the first conference session and every concern I had been worried about and that had been plaguing my soul--they were all answered and I was left with peace and great joy after the first session!! All the doubts and things that I had questioned about my path in life and what I had chosen to focus on up to that point, were all confirmed to my heart and mind. I sound a little dramatic I know, but in all honesty, the first session of that conference gave me answers to my very heavy heart.

Remembering this sweet mercy from God, I felt I needed to type up my notes. I know that God lives! I know that Jesus is the Christ! And I know from personal experience that if I watch conference prepared, God will reveal things personally to me/for me.

Happy Conference Weekend everyone! If you have time for a 5 min read, you won't be disappointed! ENJOY!

(a few things that touched me last LDS General Conference in April 2010)
“...reach out to the new converts or to those making their way back into the Church, to surround them with love and to help them feel at home.” 1

“When priesthood authority is exercised properly, priesthood bearers do what He would do if He were present.” 2

“We need everyone. The tired or worn out or lazy and even those who are bound down with guilt must be restored through repentance and forgiveness.” 2

“There will be times when all that stands as a shield between your family and the adversary’s mischief will be [priesthood] power”. 2

“...move forward, certain that the Lord will watch over us, particularly in the family”. 2

“...Despite popular media messages to the contrary, no one is rich enough, beautiful enough, or clever enough to avoid a mortal experience.” 3

“...there has never been a greater need for increased faith and personal righteousness.” 3
“A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do.” 3

“The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life.” 3

“Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things.” 3

“ is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.” 3

“Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.” -Eliza R. Snow - 3

“When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. (Preach My Gospel)” 3

“ is our duty to pray. (Brigham Young)” 4

“It is as important to be guided by the Holy Spirit while praying as it is to be enlightened by that same Spirit while receiving an answer to prayer. “4

“... [Heavenly Father] answers every sincere prayer.” 4

“...hope...does not depend upon circumstance.” 5

“...hope and happiness and joy are not products of circumstance but of faith in the Lord.” 5

“There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.” 6

“...hold your tongues about things of no moment” (Joseph Smith) 6

“Teach your daughters about things of the Spirit. Point them to the scriptures. Give them experiences that will help them cherish the blessing of priesthood power in their lives. Through keeping covenants they will learn to hear the voice of the Lord and receive personal revelation. God will truly hear and answer their prayers.” 6

“Of all the help we can give these young people, the greatest will be to let them feel our confidence that they are on the path home to God and that they can make it. And we do that best by going with them.” 7
“There is no such thing as overpreparing to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ, for gospel insights, whether or not they are used during class time, can always be taught in the home.” 8

“The scriptures also enlarge our memory by helping us not forget what we and earlier generations have learned.” 9

“Today the Bible and other scripture are readily at hand, yet there is a growing scriptural illiteracy because people will not open the books. Consequently they have forgotten things their grandparents knew.” 9

“Faith comes by the witness of the Holy Spirit to our souls, Spirit to spirit, as we hear or read the word of God. And faith matures as we continue to feast upon the word.” 9

“...our need for constant recourse to the scriptures is greater than in any previous time.” 9

“...each day seek out those in need, that we might be the hands of the Lord in helping and saving His children.” 10

“...our partial or selective compliance with God’s laws will fail to bring the full blessings of obedience.” 11

“I made this my rule: When the Lord commands, do it.” (Joseph Smith ) 11

“Spiritual warnings should lead to increasingly vigilant watching.” 12

“...the Book of Mormon speaks to the spirit and to the heart of the reader like no other volume of scripture.” 12

“Youth of all ages, even infants, can and do respond to the distinctive spirit of the Book of Mormon.” 12

“This early warning system applies to children of all ages and contains three basic components: (1) reading and talking about the Book of Mormon with your children, (2) bearing testimony of gospel truths spontaneously with your children, and (3) inviting children as gospel learners to act and not merely be acted upon.” 12

“As gospel learners, we should be “doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22) 12

“...a child is never too young to take part in this pattern of learning.” 12

“Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence.’ 13

“Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite.” 13

“ to guard against temptation in whatever form it may present itself.
Above all, start by separating yourself from people, materials, and circumstances that will harm you. As those battling something like alcoholism know, the pull of proximity can be fatal. So too in moral matters. Like Joseph in the presence of Potiphar’s wife, (Genesis 39:1-13 just run—run as far away as you can get from whatever or whoever it is that beguiles you. And please, when fleeing the scene of temptation, do not leave a forwarding address.
Acknowledge that people bound by the chains of true addictions often need more help than self-help, and that may include you. Seek that help and welcome it. Talk to your bishop. Follow his counsel. Ask for a priesthood blessing. Use the Church’s Family Services offerings or seek other suitable professional help. Pray without ceasing. Ask for angels to help you.
Along with filters on computers and a lock on affections, remember that the only real control in life is self-control. Exercise more control over even the marginal moments that confront you. If a TV show is indecent, turn it off. If a movie is crude, walk out. If an improper relationship is developing, sever it. Many of these influences, at least initially, may not technically be evil, but they can blunt our judgment, dull our spirituality, and lead to something that could be evil. An old proverb says that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, (Lao Tzu) so watch your step.
Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and then tell them where the silverware is kept! (You shouldn’t be serving tea anyway.) Throw the rascals out! Replace lewd thoughts with hopeful images and joyful memories; picture the faces of those who love you and would be shattered if you let them down. More than one man has been saved from sin or stupidity by remembering the face of his mother, his wife, or his child waiting somewhere for him at home. Whatever thoughts you have, make sure they are welcome in your heart by invitation only. As an ancient poet once said, let will be your reason. (Juvenal)
Cultivate and be where the Spirit of the Lord is. Make sure that includes your own home or apartment, dictating the kind of art, music, and literature you keep there. If you are endowed, go to the temple as often as your circumstances allow. Remember that the temple arms you “with [God’s] power, … [puts His] glory … round about [you], and [gives His] angels … charge over [you].” (D&C 109:22) And when you leave the temple, remember the symbols you take with you, never to be set aside or forgotten. ... If we want it dearly and deeply enough, that enemy can and will be rebuked by the redeeming power of the Lord Jesus Christ.” 13 (emphasis added by me)

“But if we do sin, however serious that sin may be, we can be rescued by that same majestic figure, He who bears the only name given under heaven whereby any man or woman can be saved. (Acts 4:12)” 13

“Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue.” 14

“Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect.” 14

“Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace.” 14

“...patience require[s] actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results [don’t] appear instantly or without effort.” 14

“It is not good to make others feel as though they are deficient.” 14

“When we are tempted to judge, let us think of the Savior, who “loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. …” 14

“We are all in need of mercy.” 14

“Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father.” 14

“Once we understand that, we can begin to understand how we should treat our fellowmen.” 14

“Let us love at all times.” 14

“Love is what inspired our Heavenly Father to create our spirits; it is what led our Savior to the Garden of Gethsemane to make Himself a ransom for our sins. Love is the grand motive of the plan of salvation; it is the source of happiness, the ever-renewing spring of healing, the precious fountain of hope.” 14

“The Atonement gives all the opportunity to overcome the consequences of mistakes made in life.” 15

“As you ponder—not just read but ponder and meditate—on scriptural passages, the power of the Holy Ghost will distill truths in your mind and heart as a secure foundation in this uncertain time in which we live. As parents, prepare your children for the challenges they will encounter. Teach them truth, encourage them to live it, and they will be all right no matter how severely the world is shaken.” 15

“When the Savior is the center of your home, it is filled with peace and serenity.” 15

“No matter the size of the issue, how we respond can reset the course of our life.” 16

“Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually.” 16

“Sacrament meeting is the most sacred and holy of all the meetings in the Church.” 17

‘We don’t fully comprehend the Atonement, but we can spend our lives trying to be more loving and kind, regardless of the adversity we face.” 17

“How we relate and interact with each other is a measure of our willingness to follow Jesus Christ. ... I invite each one of us individually to recognize that how we disagree is a real measure of who we are and whether we truly follow the Savior. It is appropriate to disagree, but it is not appropriate to be disagreeable.” 17

“If we want to have the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, we must find time to slow down, ponder, pray, and live so we are worthy to receive and act upon His promptings.” 17

“We will avoid major mistakes if we heed His warnings.” 17

“If there is a design in this world in which we live, there must be a Designer.” 1

“At the last moment, the Master could have turned back. But He did not.” 1

“ our hour of deepest sorrow, we can receive profound peace...” 1

“Every human being who comes to this earth is the product of generations of parents.” 18

“In these perilous times it is not enough for our youth to merely know. They must do.” 19

“...the greatest influence does not come from an interview with the bishop or some other leader but from the regular, warm, friendly, caring interaction with parents.” 19

“There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood.” (President James E. Faust) 20

“... distraction doesn’t have to be evil to be effective...” 20

“The love of a true mother comes nearer [to] being like the love of God than any other kind of love.” (President Joseph F. Smith)” 20

...“all things work together for good to them that love God.” (Romans 8:28) 21

“Many blessings in life are missed because worldly judgment was applied to what was really a spiritual decision.” 22

“Our challenge as parents and teachers is not to create a spiritual core in [the rising generations’] souls but rather to fan the flame of their spiritual core already aglow with the fire of their premortal faith.” 23

“If a child is not listening, don’t despair. Time and truth are on your side. At the right moment, your words will return as if from heaven itself. Your testimony will never leave your children.” 23

“Two men can do anything as long as one of them is the Lord” (Elder Daniel Forrest)” 23

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”(proverbs 3:5-6) That has been the story of my life.” 1
“...look to the lighthouse of the Lord. There is no fog so dense, no night so dark, no gale so strong, no mariner so lost but what its beacon light can rescue.” 1

President Thomas S. Monson
President Boyd K. Packer
Julie B. Beck
Bishop Keith B. McMullin
Elder Wilford W. Anderson
Elder M. Russell Ballard
Elder Henry B. Eyring
Elder L. Tom Perry
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Elder Koichi Aoyagi
Elder Bruce A. Carlson
Elder David A. Bednar
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Elder Richard G. Scott
Elder Donald L. Hallstrom
Elder Quentin L. Cook
Elder Russell M. Nelson
Elder Robert D. Hales
Elder Bradley D. Foster
Elder James B. Martino
Elder Gregory A. Schwitzer
Elder Neil L. Andersen

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


To my amazing brother Marshyl. One who's roots run deep and his heart is truly pure and desires to be/do good. To anyone one who really knows Marsh and his heart, knows that Christ is the center of his being.
Loves his family!
Keeper of traditions!
Will let me catch as many fish as I want and never makes me touch them!
Great listener! ;D Doesn't matter where we are, treats me as a daughter of God and shows me great respect and love.
Thanks for setting such a great example for me. I love you bro! Happy Birthday!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Nyk called me up yesterday to share with me a dream she had had just yesterday morning. So profound is the dream that I asked her if I could share it. Deep is the meaning and there can be so many applications. Thanks for calling me up Chick! Love you!
THE RATTLESNAKE DREAM - Nykelle Pollastro - 9.21.10

I had a most amazing dream early this morning that I know was inspired by God. I have never had an experience like this, and have never had a dream where when I woke up, I knew the interpretations immediately, and felt that it needed to be written down and remembered.

Carson gets up for work at about 4:30 am, and I get up with him to make his lunch/breakfast. I was still extremely tired from the events this weekend, so I decided to go back to sleep for a little bit at about 4:50 am. When I went back to sleep, I had an amazing dream dealing with rattlesnakes…

I was living in my Uncle Paul’s [Mapleton, UT] house before the new additions had been completed, and it was as if it was my personal home. I had put Mia down in her crib for a nap, and had left somewhere to run an errand. When I came back through the back door up on the deck that enters into the kitchen, I noticed the double-wide screen door was wide open. I was nervous, and thought, “How did this happen?” I was also frustrated knowing I was going to have a lot of bugs/animals to deal with in the house. Immediately when I came in and saw two strange animals that looked like a cross between a very small Kangaroo and a deer. I shooed them out. I then tried to close the screen, and noticed that a huge rattlesnake was trying violently to get into my house. I could hear him shaking his rattle and saw his fangs. I tried as hard as I could to keep him out, but the snake was too strong and came into my home. Mia ran up next to me and as I was yelling at her to run away, the snake turned to bite her. I was able to grab the snake right behind its head and stop his fangs from sinking into Mia’s face. He in turn tried to bite me, but I was able to pull back. I remember thinking that it was over and there was no way we could live through this. I was able to grab the snake and toss him outside and shut the screen, but I didn’t lock it. As I continued in the house, I found 4 other rattlesnakes of various sizes inside our home, one which was entering through the small crack in the front screen door from not being locked.

As I was looking for the snakes, I realized that Mia somehow had gotten out of her crib. I found a 2 year old child who told me that they had gotten her out. I was sad to see that a 2 year old had been taking care of my daughter while I was gone. I noticed Mia had some marks on her face from me not being there, either from falling, or scratches from the snakes.

It took several hours to try and get all the snakes out. I called [my husband] at work and desperately begged him to come home immediately to help me get the rattlesnakes out. He was a little irritated that I asked him to come home early, and a little reluctant to do so. As I tried to push the snake at the front door out, he would keep creeping in until I locked the front door.

Finally, I was able to get all 5 snakes out of my house and drown them with water from the hose. After we were pretty sure they were dead, they were collected in bags. My dad came over later that day to witness the snakes, and I specifically showed him the huge snake that I dealt with first. He was amazed at the size of the rattle and the head on that snake.

I woke up promptly at 6 am from this dream, fascinated by what I had just experienced. Immediately when I woke up, I knew the meaning of the dream. I knew that the rattlesnakes were the temptations of Satan and the adversary getting into our home. I knew that because I hadn’t locked the doors before I left, that the snakes were able to get in. I knew that “locking” the doors was a symbol of prayers/scripture study/FHE for our families. And as I thought about how much time we spent trying to get rid of the rattlesnakes, my mind immediately thought of Moroni in the Book of Mormon and the time that he spent trying to solve the disputations/problems among his own people, and because there was so much time spent doing that and not preparing, the Lamanites had full advantage over them when they came.

I felt the extreme importance of having daily scripture study and prayer, and also fhe with our families. That is our “safety lock” on our doors for our homes and our children. Without that, we are leaving the doors unlocked in a sense for the adversary to get in and tempt and destroy our children and our families. We then shouldn’t be surprised if when we have taken a break from spiritual “locking” the door with prayer/fhe/scriptures, that our family/children are beset with temptations/problems/contention. We then have to spend our time trying to “get rid” of the adversary snakes in our home, which is time lost in preparing for future trials and temptations, which is why the snakes kept coming back in to my home… I didn’t have time to “lock the door” because I was trying to get all the other ones out. This teaches me the importance of daily study/prayer/fhe, and that we can never take a spiritual “break,” because once we do, we have just allowed the influence of Satan into our lives, and just like Moroni, we will spend our energy trying to clean up and get rid of the problems, instead of preparing for future battles. I also know that the 2 year old helping Mia represents other influences taking over when mom and dad aren’t there to teach and be the correct influence, or when they are not taking the time to teach their children… the teachings come from some other source that will never be as good. Mia’s scratches/bruises on her face represent the results of the influence of the 2 year old, which shows the destruction that can come from outside influences.

I was shocked that this insight came so clearly and that I understood it so well, and knew the interpretation. I have faith that this was inspired of God, and that now is the time for me to fortify my family against Satan DAILY.
As and after Nyk shared this with me, so deep was the impression on my mind. I shared her dream with a friend which commented how this is a pretty powerful parable. True, true!

The truths that came with all of Nykki's insights - when times get worse, all the ugly stuff/temptations "Rattlesnakes" will always be lurking outside in the world. They will always be around and even hiding in the bushes of our homes. But if we do not allow them to come in, we can and will enjoy peace and safety inside our homes. Not naive from the dangers that loom outside, but ever confident that our homes are safe harbors and places where fear and terror for the enemy is not present because we (our homes) are fortified with faith in God.

Nykki--thank you for sharing your dream with me! Thank you for being sensitive enough to know that it came from God!


On Saturday for the first time in my life I went and did a session at the Manti temple. I don't know if I have had quite an experience like that in the temple. It was WONDERFUL! Not only was everything beauitful and in order--but I could not help but ponder over the fact that this temple was where the Doug and Judy Cloward Family began. My mom and dad were sealed for time and all eternity, making sacred covenants and vows to one another and to God in that holy house. I wish I would have found out what sealing room they were in--next time.

The temple was beautiful inside. The pictures and the things unique to that temple--absolutely breath taking. It was like experiencing the beauty of the SLC temple for the first time. Something about these older temples and the personal sacrifices that went in to building them. The experience was sacred and I could not help but weep. Weep for joy and gratitude for my parents who decided to have the courage and the desire to follow God. Who are still striving to always retain/remember their temple covenants. I am told that marriage even with the right person is a work. But how grateful I am that they are working at it. The experience was very sacred for/to me.

The woman that I went through with, her last ordinances were preformed in 2004! My heart broke over the fact that she had had them started 6 years ago, and now in 2010 she was finally having her work done for an endowment. Oh how much work there is to do. And yet the temptation to be idle, or just self deluded/focus is amazingly great.

How thankful I am for temples of God! How much HE loves us. How much he trusts us!?! (Sometimes it is a little frightening just how much he believes in us.) :)

Jesus is the Christ.

Weekend To DOs:
Discover if I have allowed any Rattlesnakes to come in - GET THEM OUT!
Lock my doors
and the Relief Society BROADCAST!!!!!!!!!!! And then next week is General Conference. Seriously, this and the first weekend in April = MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR!!

Saturday, September 11, 2010


I finished The Book of Mormon challenge with Nyk and mom! I was really shooting for 30 days, but ended up doing the goal of 40 days. I love that book! Nyk and mom are now addicted to reading it fast, but I am going back to my pondering/reading mode. :) This scripture in 4 Nephi really stood out to me! I don't recall ever noticing this phrase before but it is profound. Believers in Christ and worshipers of Christ--! How amazing! How deep. This is what I want to be for sure! It is one thing to believe in something, but to be a worshiper OF something, I had better show it through word, deed and thought.

Ali shared her RS lesson that she gave a while ago. It was amazing!! Click here to read her blog. Ali, thank you for posting it! I have thought over and over of the things you shared with me. Great truths!

Tomorrow is Sunday! Tonight is adult stake conference, I can't wait!

Saturday, August 21, 2010


I just love Alma's words--
"...never be weary of good meek and lowly in heart...O, remember, learn wisdom... cry unto God for all thy support...let all thy doings be unto the Lord...let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord...let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for night lie down unto the Lord...risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God..." (emphasis added.) Alma 37:34-37
God really wants us to communicate/commune with him! He is surely not hiding his face.

I am embarrassed to say, I am pretty sure that I have always read verse 36 with the word in my mind of "afflictions" of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever, not "affections". TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORDS!! And although I do believe God wants me to place my afflictions on him-- affections means = feelings! Such beautiful council to me.

A few verses of reminders of why we don't give up on our journey. If I feel my path is not being direct, I must take heed and do a self check to see--have miracles wrought by the power of God ceased in my every day life? I am promised that I can have them daily, (vs. 40). If they have ceased, it is not because God has stopped being a God of miracles, but I have ceased "being" for God.

What transgressions?! Being slothful (is that the same thing as just forgetting to call on God...)forgetting to exercise faith--I am all about a direct course! :)

I am thankful for the atonement that allows me to get my life back in check. And by small and simple things--great things can and do come to pass!

The amazing Monica told me at the temple this week how God does extraordinary things by humble circumstances---a God was born, the son of God, laid in a manger. A compass that can show the way and have writings on it--just a humble ball of medal--but extraordinary things came to pass. Girls and guys go out, with not that much education--extraordinary things come out of their mouth, and yet they are just a means of a 19/21 year old. The Book of Mormon an extraordinary book brought about by journal entrees etched into metal. God our Father and Jesus Christ (extraordinary visitation) apear to a boy of 14 and call him by name! After baptism and receiving the gift of the holy ghost, I can be completely cleansed for the week by participating/partaking of the sacrament. Extraordinary things happen in/through/by humble means!

So it can be with my life. If I will remember to exercise faith and be diligent, God can do something extraordinary with my path and my course. I need not be wondering in a wilderness, thirsty and hungry for blessings/revelations. God has an oasis that he is willing to share with anyone who will come! A direct path for me to trod, and miracles to be had daily. They are mine for the taking, Oh if I will commune with God! Oh if I would council with him in all my doings--for I do want to be directed to do and be good works continually. Does this mean I always get a finger writing on the wall to tell me where to step and when to turn left or right? No of course not. God wanted me to come to earth to learn how to use my agency. But I do believe, if he has an opinion on something, and I have faith enough to ask, he will impress me with whatever. And when he puts it back in my court-I will just move forward, go and do, and trust/have faith that if he needs my feet/service/attention somewhere else, he will let me know.

OH what a good morning with Alma. I do love that man. Because he has sons, he is already taken. But maybe in the here after I can see if he has an available brother! ;) Ha ha, just kidding, (kind of! ;))

The church is true!

After thought:
I just posted this, and went about my day when it dawned on me the words used in verse 37 of Alma 37. "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good..." We are told to counsel with the Lord in ALL our doings. Counsel is to = advice; opinion or instruction given in directing the judgment or conduct of another. We are not told we will have a, "do this or do that" comment back from the Lord, but we are promised right there that HE WILL DIRECT us for GOOD! What a promise! I surely can put all my money in that bank! I do want to be about good, and whether he verbalizes/uses the spirit to prompt or just lets me go on my own, I can bank on the fact that I WILL be directed by him FOR good! What an awesome promise for just counseling with the Master Councilor. Again, extraordinary things come out by the means of just being on our knees. God is good!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


I received a text on Sunday morning asking if I would teach etiquette and dinner conversations to the Deaf Ward youth on Tues night. My First reaction was "heck no" however the spirit was quick to press to my mind that I needed to teach. Ask anyone in my family, when it comes to setting the table, I just get a letter grade of F! Maybe a D+ on a good day, but for the most part I can never remember which side the cup goes on or what side the fork goes on. Me teach etiquette, quite a joke of a thought.

And then dinner conversation?! Boy, the angels must have had a good chuckle when I texted back, "sure I will".


In preparation for the evening, Tues I woke up and went walking. I flipped my ipod over to the Young women General conference presentation. I listened to a great talk, and then listened to the music played in a special presentation done at that event. The chorus to the song talked about being strong and of good courage. I enjoyed the music as I had not ever heard it before. And then, towards the end of the song, I heard it sung, "be His". The words stopped me dead in my tracks. I played that part of the song over and over. I have a list of a 100+ be's to be, but never have I heard the be to "be His". I LOVED IT! My eyes became moist as I thought of the girls and my opportunity to teach them.

Then right before I left work, I opened up an email from uncle Paul. There was a painting (the one at the top) in the email and a letter from the artist explaining his piece.
9 August 2010

The artist said:
"This painting was unique from its very beginning. It would be great if I could take credit for the composition and message it conveys but in my mind, that would be like Moses taking credit for bringing water from the stone in the desert.

"Usually when I have an idea for a painting it starts as a simple seed and it grows as I play with the image in my mind, moving the characters around, imagining the lights and shadows, the values and the colors, eventually deciding on its composition after what might be weeks or even months of pondering and sketches, but this painting was different. There was no seed, no moving of characters, it was totally different.

"I was sitting in church on a Sunday afternoon as the Sacrament was being passed and bang, there it was, the image was instantaneously placed before my mind's eye just as you see it here. This experience has happened to me only three times and it has been very special each time." --Doc Christensen
For the past two months I have been trying hard to ponder on the Savior during the preparation and participating of the sacrament. Confession, I am guilty of that being the time I am pleading for help or pleading for whatever I am in need of that week. But I have wanted to focus so badly on just Jesus Christ. When I saw this picture, I was moved. I love the look of each family member as they realize or see who is passing their sacrament. I thought I might like the picture better in black and white, but nope--it is perfect the way it is.

Looking at the picture is how I want every time I take the sacrament to be. So beautiful and sacred, and the Savior, suffered/loves me perfectly.

... And thanks to this artist Doc Christensen who followed an impression to paint. I love it!

The evening with the yw and ym went great! All my old girls that I used to teach 2 years ago, are all grown up and even more beautiful inside and out then I could have imagined them. I was grateful for the experience. As I pulled up to the church, Bishop Larson pulled up next to me. Seeing him and his family always does good for my soul! God helped me teach two subjects I am lacking in. He was very kind.

Our Heritage Makers reunion was a great sucess. So many amazing people to meet and see. It was truly a week of miracles and of God.
Meet Jeremy! This is Patti's son. By being around him last week and seeing how positive he was, even with 110 degree heat, put me in my place. By the end of working with him I was/am bound and determined to be a better person. Jeremy really has a good heart. And I love that he is a hard worker. I LOVE people who know how to work! It is a big deal for me.
Speaking of hard workers, each of these women at some point last week made me want to cry. How is that I am blessed to work with such women!?!

Starting with Debbi on the left. She is very organized/blessed with the gift of having it all together.

Then there is Marin, our HM designer. I can tell you I have never enjoyed working with a designer as much as I have enjoyed working with her. Before reunion I had a couple marketing ideas to be sold at reunion. Instead of her trying to sell me on why her design was good and how she would not budge (this is an example of past designers I have worked with, not an example of her), she constantly would ask me if what I was looking at was what I envisioned. My projects turned out because one, God is amazing and inspired some pretty cool items to create, but two because her heart is so willing to design to what people envision. Ego is not to be found in her. I love working with her.

On my left you will find Susan. She is Don's (our director over marketing and creative) wife. She didn't get paid for being there, and yet didn't mind. She said she just likes being around the consultants and hearing the new things. She and her husband are great folks. Not only is Susan a hard worker, she is fast! I loved working with her in the store.

Then Jen, is next to my right. I have found in her someone who loves God. She is so willing to serve. By the end of the week, and this banquet we were all exhausted from early mornings, late nights and little, if any sleep. Four straight days of this heavy schedule, but there was Jen after banquet already with her gown off so she could start packing all our presentations up. Love that girl!

And then of course, last on the right is Patti! My Boss, and mission blessing!

I hope she won't mind me sharing this... but before reunion there was a night when her son had quite the episode and left the house and started to walk but not in a right state of mind. Patti followed after him wanting to make sure he would be okay and to help calm him down. A few miles they walked, each with no shoes, in the middle of the night. When Patti felt she had done all she needed to do to calm down his thinking, she called her husband to come and get her and to bring her son's shoes to him so that he could wear them.

Her son was complaining to me how messed up his feet were with walking two miles without shoes and blamed it partly on Patti. ... what was so tender to me was the love of a mother. Little thought did he give to his mother's feet who where all cut up and a little raw--feet that had a big week ahead of being stood on and in uncomfortable shoes all day long for four days straight. But Patti never complained and didn't say anything. She told me the story right after we had devotional one night. She had just mentioned her feet being sore and cut up. I drug the story out of her. Patti went off to bed, and I went into the bathroom and on my knees cried as I prayed. Oh the love of a mother. Oh to us kids that have no idea the sacrifices and love our parents show forth. My own mom and dad always giving so much with no return of anything--at least usually.

I love Patti. I love my parents. Oh to the moms and dads out there who don't give up on their children and their sometimes (and sometimes often) stupid acts of agency. Nyk had quite a team in AZ. She hit Gold Director in Heritage Makers! Lots of women asked me how she was doing, and I was straight with them. Nykki is the most amazing woman I have ever met with covenant making with the Lord. When she gets a go a head with partnering with God with whatever--NOTHING can stop her from achieving it. I am sure for the Nephi in us, I would have gone back one and maybe even twice to get the brass plates, but three times? I think I would have written off the second time of, "I tried, and that must have been the test because it didn't work." But not Nyk. If she gets the okay/go a head from God that what she is about to do, or is perusing is okay--she puts all of her money in the bank and KNOWS that God will do his part. I learn a lot from this awesome little sister of mine! Little, because physically she is, but her spirit is a giant!

Does anyone know what type of tree that has flowers like this!?!?

This is my biggest regret of last week. I would walk past this tree oh, maybe 10 or so times a day. And when the blossoms are open, they make a perfect tight little star. This is a picture of the blossoms the morning I left. They were not quite open into the tight little star... but every day I would walk by this tree and every time I did I would look up to admire the stars. Lots of the flowers come to think of it at the resort were star shaped. Every time I looked at them, they made me think of God. A new star led the way for the wise men, and like the saying at Christmas time, "wise men still seek him". I want to be a wise woman and seek him always and forever.

This week on the "alter" I had the thought that I needed to place my heart before God. That meant that I was in for something that was going to break my heart. As I have been pondering this all week, really, I just want to do what God would have me do. Serving him and seeing people come closer to him is I think, the greatest joy I could experience at this time in my life. I am constantly amazed at the Christlike people that are planted in my path.

God sure does like to spoil me! And if I will follow him, he will not lead me astray.

My prayers have become more plead filled for asking for him to make me a tool. I don't want my will, or rather I want my will to become his will for me. He knows what is best. He never forsakes us or leaves us alone. He is my rock! He is salvation! He is hope and peace in the mist of a storm. In Him, I will put all my trust.


This is what I want and will work on.

God is good. :)