Wednesday, November 28, 2012


The last few weeks in the temple, when I have any waiting/prep time I have felt impressed to open and read Enos. I LOVE ENOS! I would love to name a daughter Enos. I am always drawn to the story, for I feel it is so closely related to my own conversion. I love reading how his soul hungered and he kneeled down before his Maker and cried until him in mighty prayer (Enos 1:4). Oh how I can totally relate!
   So the impression to re-read Enos for the how many weeks in a row, I figured the Lord was trying to teach me something and I assumed that it had to do do with my favorite part... the hungering and seeking God in mighty prayer. (...well one of my favorite parts! There are so many good things in the one chapter.)
   But on Monday the Lord had my mind catch hold of two little words I had not yet given any special attention too...
And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

And I said: Lord, how is it done?

And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.
 The story goes on after this, but that is what is so interesting. Enos is told that it is because of his Faith in Christ (*that is the reason why his sins are forgiven) but he is told... "wherefore, go to, ... " Go to--that is another way of saying, alright move on, next, "GO TO". The Lord had answered his mighty prayer in such a profound way, a beauitful way. He had been praying about the welfare of his soul. (Which is a pretty deep thing to be praying about in the first place.) The very think he was praying about, he got an answer on. For example sake it is like working on a hard project and at the end of the project, with the result achieved, one brushes their hands off and moves on/forward with whatever comes up. In a sense, the prayer was "done". Go to.

But what is so beauitful is that Enos was not done! He could have walked away and been satisfied with the very awesome revelation that he had been given! Choice stuff... but the very next verse after he was told to "go to"... reads:
Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren, the Nephites; wherefore, I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them.
He had his answer. He was "done". BUT GOD HAD MORE TO GIVE--however he will not force the "more" to be had. ...

"More" has to be sought after. There are several more verses of intense revelation that God was willing/did grant, because Enos asked. BUT he had already answered his prayer and told him to "go to". Enos could have just stopped there, but his desires came on for his bretheren and their souls so he continued on his journey in prayer!  **Now I don't' know if this is over the course of many days or all started in one setting... but "go to" was a nice way of saying okay I am finished with that revelation... As I pondered this idea in the temple my mind was flooded with the words from Richard G. Scott's talk:
In that environment, strong impressions began to flow to me again. I wrote them down. The message included specific counsel on how to become more effective as an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I received such an outpouring of impressions that were so personal that I felt it was not appropriate to record them in the midst of a Sunday School class. I sought a more private location, where I continued to write the feelings that flooded into my mind and heart as faithfully as possible. After each powerful impression was recorded, I pondered the feelings I had received to determine if I had accurately expressed them in writing. As a result, I made a few minor changes to what had been written. Then I studied their meaning and application in my own life.

Subsequently I prayed, reviewing with the Lord what I thought I had been taught by the Spirit. When a feeling of peace came, I thanked Him for the guidance given. I was then impressed to ask, “Was there yet more to be given?” I received further impressions, and the process of writing down the impressions, pondering, and praying for confirmation was repeated. Again I was prompted to ask, “Is there more I should know?” And there was. When that last, most sacred experience was concluded, I had received some of the most precious, specific, personal direction one could hope to obtain in this life. Had I not responded to the first impressions and recorded them, I would not have received the last, most precious guidance.

What I have described is not an isolated experience. It embodies several true principles regarding communication from the Lord to His children here on earth. I believe that you can leave the most precious, personal direction of the Spirit unheard because you do not respond to, record, and apply the first promptings that come to you.

Impressions of the Spirit can come in response to urgent prayer or unsolicited when needed. Sometimes the Lord reveals truth to you when you are not actively seeking it, such as when you are in danger and do not know it. However, the Lord will not force you to learn. You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. As you make this a practice in your life, you will be more perceptive to the feelings that come with spiritual guidance. Then, when that guidance comes, sometimes when you least expect it, you will recognize it more easily.  --To Acquire Spiritual Guidance--
Yes, you might just enjoy re-reading the whole talk! CLICK HERE. Brilliant!!

God did not force Elder Scott to receive more revelation. Just as He did not force Enos to receive promised/covenants for future generations. Choice blessings. Because Elder Scott kept asking to see if there was more that he should know, we was given more information until finally when he asked again.. he was given a "most sacred experience...most precious, specific, personal direction... Had [he] not responded to the first impressions and recorded them, [he] would have not received the last, most precious guidance." ARE YOU FREAKING OUT!?! This is such a beauitful truth and I LOVED it when I first heard and then studied the talk. But now to find this exact application to what happened with Enos?!?!?!

God will not force sacred/choice revelation on us. Even when we seek, He does answer prayers in His way and in His timing. And often, He may have more for us to obtain, but again will not take away our use of agency by forcing the revelation on us. He simply waits and the blessed council that appears over and over in the scriptures, He waits for us to ask, is there more. Enos found more! Choice more promises. Elder Scott found more! And had he not continue to ask, I believe the Lord would not have forced him to have the ending revelation of it being "most precious, specific, personal direction one could hope to obtain in this life."

I have in the past, after studying Elder Scott's talk on several occasions asked if there was "more" even after the Lord had given me choice info and basically was allowing me the choice to "go to". And on the occasions I sought to see if there was more, I was given more!

Sadly, I am pretty much rusted over in this truth I once applied to my own life. But Enos's example and the flood reminder of Elder Scott's words have filled me with the desire to seek for the "more" even after the approved "go to" has been given.

Like the start of a sunset... if you risk staying "asking if there is more"... and if there is "more"... how often sweeter (wating around to see if the sky gets more brilliant) that more is!

Wow-- I am freaking out! :) Just another friendly reminder for me to "ask". 

I am grateful for a dad who was inspired to write a book on "Intentional Parenting"
pouring his whole soul into a project he felt inspired to do. Grateful for his
devoted Editing wife, gracious sister-in-law and LOTS of others who
gave input and feed back on the book. And I am even more
grateful for the offer that just came through on Monday 
 of "We want to publish your book"! WAY TO GO
DAD, following and having faith in what you 
felt impressed to do!!!


Congrats to my awesome gourmet cooking, host/serving, fun loving, not giving up on impressions, trusting in God, faith-filled, going to be published dad!

Monday, November 26, 2012


   Reflective mood: perhaps it is because I said goodbye to my 20s and with arms wide open I embrace my 30s... perhaps it is that much of what we have recorded about the Savior was in His early 30s...or is it the fact that if I live until 90, I have just completed 1/3 of this life... God has brought me so much. I am nothing without Him, and yet to Him I am everything.
   I am grateful for the statement "God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. … God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not."--Pres. Uchtdorf  How that applies for me. I am not perfect, and those who think I am just don't know me well enough or perhaps love me so much that their love blankets my imperfections... how grateful I am that so many choose to love than pick at my flaws. And I am not mopey, but be not deceived, I am not perfect and struggle with my own personal weaknesses.
   A friend sent me an email late last night which I happened to read at 6am this morning that asked me some pretty straight forward questions.
Bryndi, thank you so much for always looking to help me and serve me. I know your heart and know you always have the desire to serve and love. Would you please stop for a second and think a little more of YOU!!! It doesn't mean you will be selfish or prideful, because you are not. What do YOU want? What do YOU desire? I know you want to do God's will, and serve Him, and keep the commandments, etc. and it is great! But what is something that Bryndi Cloward wants/desire with all her heart because of who she is? Because of your individuality as a unique daughter of God? [Have] you done a list of those things? Either Spiritual, temporal, educational, understanding or anything YOU would have in your heart? 
 I know they were getting at my goals and what I was hoping to achieve in life. Good question as if I do live to 90 again a 1/3 of my mortal life has been lived. I laid in bed and thought of my priorities. Thought of what "moves" me. What excites me and what I live for... after a full day of reflection and reviewing my priorities sometimes with deep tears, and truly seeking what is in my heart--my "greatest desire"...

   My friend's timely email caused me great reflection all today as I pondered who and what I am today and who I want to become... and everything I strive to do (okay not everything, because I sure fall short and forget at times, like always remember Christ and praying with real intent etc) revolves around a deep motivation, a deep desire.
   My greatest desire is to become like Christ. To become the daughter of God that Heavenly Father wants me to be. This package includes all that I do and take in or choose to do with my time is uplifting and or edifying. That I will be able to use it (whatever I am focusing on) as a tool in some why to bless any that God would place on my path. I have a driving force that I want to be and do it for God--but I also almost in 2nd place want to do it for my brothers and sisters. I want to bless, uplift, lighten, care for, love, show kindness, awaken, support, serve, fellowship, hug, all and any placed on my path. And my hopes, in doing any of these things, will lead them to the very joys and happiness I live by... lead them to Christ, all that He is, can do, will do, does do for one who will come and follow Him.
   I shared with Dad in some reflective tears tonight, that what I do is not very "measurable" in terms of the world. Only God fully knows the intents and desires of my heart. Yes it is to do His will and to keep His commandments--but why? I have choice. I know I could choose differently. But wanting to be like Him/for Him, help bring anyone to Him, is in me. It is who I am. It is where I choose to spend my energy and focus. And because of that, my goals in life focus on achieving those desires.
   So what will the next 30 years bring, if I am allowed to live them, I hope to become more of who He would have me be. Have more charity, more quickness to forgive, no desires to judge wrongly when judgment is needed, constant desires to live the gospel and keep commandments. And by studying and striving to become who I want to become, I hope in another 30 years I will be one step closer.
   I don't know why I am writing any of this. Sometimes I would choose to keep this way more private for fear that I am labled as "perfect" that all I do is inspired... like I said, God knows my imperfections and the things I am striving to become.
   I am a 30 old virgin, who LOVES and believes in the chastity of women. I know that Man and Woman are to be lawfully wedded and only then, can fully enjoy the beauty of sanctifying processes of their souls becoming one with God. I am a 30 year old that is choosing Christ. I am a 30 year old that longs for a family and to spoil a husband with support and love as He fulfills His priesthood duties, but I am also a 30 year old who is striving to live by the council of "all is well" in every given moment. I am a 30 year old who knows how to pray and knows that God does answer prayers. I am a 30 year old woman that knows who she is, where she came from before this earth life, why she is here now, and where she can go if she lives God's plan--after this life. I am a 30 year old woman who knows the value of family.
   So "cheers" to another 30 years, if God allows! Whether here or there--my greatest desire is to become like Christ.

I am grateful for handsome nephews on my door step who exclaim,
"Wow, I like your hair!" as the first words of "hello"
out of their mouth! :)
Pie Eating Contest--Grandpa won! :D

**I am grateful for teenage nephews! I LOVE THEM MORE THAN THEY KNOW! 

Friday, November 23, 2012


A few weeks back I had the opportunity to go to a fireside in American Fork. I felt impressed I needed to go... and when I walked in the building I chuckled at the mess up because apparently it was for "grey/silver" haired singles. I was late, and when I sat down, I felt like a baby and somewhat out of place. But the spirit was there and I felt impressed to stay.
   The title of the fireside was "Living as a Christian in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia". Brother and Sister Vera were the speakers and they shared their experience of living there for five years. I only caught the last 30 mins of the fireside, but I was deeply moved.
    Brother and Sister Vera shared their experience with the church. There are many people who want nothing to do with Christianity. Spies, police, neighbors that will turn in neighbors. They had to be very careful about everything they said and did in Saudi Arabia.
   With the church, they did not keep any written records. If they had to write down someone's name/list, it was all done in code and people's names/family names/rolls etc were done with initials only.
   Before he and his wife would go to church they would look outside and try to make sure they were not being followed. Sister Vera's daily conversations with her 2 and I believe 4 year olds was teaching them that although they loved Jesus even if their friends asked them what they did on Sunday, they could never say His name out loud or tell any of their friends about church and what they learned/did. This comment alone seemed crazy! But the more I heard of what they had to do living in a non-freedom of religion area... my thoughts were so full.
   Brother Vera also shared that many of his co-workers were good Muslims who sought to do right things. Accustom to their religion his Muslim friends were to pray five times a day. On a particular outing with a co-worker (I believe it was the noon) prayers came up. His friend told Bro Vera to just drive quickly to work where he could go and partake of the prayer. Normaly everyone is to stop and go to specified areas for prayer.
   As they rounded the corner in their car, the Prayer Police (yes you read that right) made them stop their car and motioned for them to show their identification cards. These are cards that let the police know if one is muslin/citizen or not. Brother Vera showed his card and was "okay" because he was a foreigner. But when his co-worker showed his card and that he was Muslim/thus not praying when he was suppose to-- the police took him right there on the spot and put him in jail for 24 hours. At this point in the story Brother Vera shared how if Satan would have had His way in the pre-exsistance--that would be exactly how his plan would have been. Go to jail if not found doing the exact thing you were commanded to do.
   The more Brother and Sister Vera shared, the more my heart swelled for the country that I live in. For the freedoms sought and fought for--based on religious freedom!!
    When Bro. Vera came back to the states, just after a short while he was in Home Depot and heard a man discussing on his cell phone about, "...we will meet up for Elders Quorum and do church...". Without thinking Brother Vera lunged for the guy's phone and was ready to knock it to the floor while asking the man if he was crazy saying such things out loud. Right before he actually grabbed the phone, he finally remembered that he was in America and it was okay to "speak" openly about religeous things.  Sister Vera's daughter came and quietly pulled her aside and whispered if it would be okay to talk about Jesus with her cousin. Sister Vera then shared that because they were in America now, she could talk openly about Jesus all the time!
   Brother and Sister Vera then testified of the freedoms we so readily take forgranted here... in a country that was fought for on the ground of/for religious freedom! I left the meeting with deep gratitude for this country. And also a little remorse at my own lack of gratitude/what I take for granted so often. Since the fireside I have listened to how many times I have had a religious any type of talk in the open... I was out to lunch with one of my old young woman at Subway and our conversation was quite divine. The spirit rushed about us as we both shared our thoughts about God and what he had done for each of us in the last three years. As we shared I couldn't help but look around the resterant and all the customers coming in and out who might happen to hear our conversation. I thought about how I would see no police shipping me off to jail... what freedoms I take for granted.
    I LOVE the picture of George Washington kneeling down. As a curtisy of mom and dad needing a wall for it to hang on--this picture resides in my bedroom. As I took this shot, I found it profound that in the reflection of the glass--the pool of bethesda with the Savior is shown in the exact place George Washington is kneeling down to! And reflecting on his back is the picture of the 2nd coming.
   Our founding fathers were men of great faith and devotion to the most High God. They fought for the cause that I so easily take for granted... freedom of religion and freedom to live my life the way I feel best. Amen to some of the best blood shed, such a high price given, so I can talk about Jesus Christ, church, the Holy Ghost-- openly. No one takes me to jail when I am not caught saying a prayer when I should have/should be. Oh the merciful plan of our great God! In providing a nation where we have freedom of religion and speech.

The title of liberty:
In memory of our God, 
our religion, 
and freedom, 
and our peace, 
our wives, 
and our children... (Alma 46:12)
 This is America to me! Oh so much to be thankful for. Bless thanksgiving and the reason why we celebrate!

I am grateful for Heavenly Father's Great plan of happiness which allows
 me the opportunity to choose to follow Him and His
perfect plan for me... a plan that included a
Savior, an atonement, repentance, grace,
forgiveness love and redemption.

God bless/ed America! 

Sunday, November 18, 2012


   So this is a follow up from the 1 a.m. coin and wilted celery post.
   My mom just sent me her impression... It is deep! And when I had a real moment to read her thought if you would have been a fly on my wall you would have heard me verbally say... "Whoa..!" (and yes, I am the only one here at the moment. :))
"As I was reading your lost coin analogy I had an insight. She lit the light (I assume prayed to get the light) to see/recognize it. She swept (as you said to get rid of or gave up her stuff) and then found her coin (that which was of great worth) in her house. She discovered it was in her house (her inner vessel that is housed w/in her mortal body) the God or light of Christ within her." --Judy Cloward (emphasis added by me and small tweaking from iphone text.)
Shut the front door! Intense! IF WE OURSELVES ARE LOST-- we hold up Christ and sweep out / search within ourselves until we find the "God" "Light of Christ" within us.... we search until we are found!!

Who would have thought the lost silver coin was/is/can be a story about being lost yourself... Oh love you Mom! Deep!

I LOVE Sundays!!!!!!!!!!

I am grateful for parents/Mothers/Fathers who know!


   A few weeks back I had a profound night at institute. I seriously can't say if I have ever looked forward to a class as much as I have this one. My teacher--MY IDOL! Seriously, if I wanted to have a mortal role model after how I would like to be as a gospel teacher, it would be after her.
   We were discussing the "lost" parables...we talked about the lost sheep, coin and prodigal son. Sister Petersen asked a girl in the class to summarize the lost coin. She brought up the point that the candle was lit and then the woman searched the whole house until she found the coin.
...what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one apiece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? 
And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.
   My mind raced with the symbolism. She found/held up "Christ"! He is the light of the world. A light that shines forth in darkness. When her coin, "valuable" was lost, she lit a candle and swept "searched" the house seeking diligently until she found it.
  What was it about the "light" that allowed her to find the coin?
  Rudimentary, but stay with me here. The silver coin... made out of metal. Of it's own, cannot do produce it's own light. However you let light pass over a metal coin, and you will have a reflection! The light, surely bounced off the metal "causing the "light" from the metal to reflect. In a sense reflect back the "light of Christ" /gospel, worth in the coin. To hold up Christ's light so what is in others, even if they are lost, shines... that is how we can find them, when our attention catches the light - "the child of God" that is in them.
   Powerful, deep impression.

   I love celery, however I don't blame people who hate the veggie for if they ever bit into a bitter celery, like anything rotten, the experience is not necessarily a pleasant one.
   Dad taught me a great lesson on how to "freshen" up wilted Celery... which can also help with the bitterness and preserve the life of celery.
   So here is the secret. Notice the first picture of meet Mr. Wilted Celery Stalk.  Cut off the ends, add some water and at the end of the day the picture on the right is litterally what my stalk looked like after sitting in water.
Morning-- wilted, floppy celery.
Evening, completely crisp, happy, strong celery!

Isn't this just another testimony of my life?!!! When I cut off dead ends [less than worthy habits, pride, envy, lack of love, selfishness], and soak into The Living Water [remembering Christ, scripture study, purpose-full inspired prayers], my whole life/soul perks up!

   As a sweetness note, I put together an old RS presidency dinner. Maria and Meg both have two kids now and Citlalli and I wanted to meet the clan! I still am filled with great emotion when I think that the Lord let me serve with such choice women. Women who are now raising their children to God. How I love these woman! How I still cherish the time we were able to serve, unified, together.
   Life is full of choice moments. Moments to love, to be kind, to lift heavy hearts, to be an example, to hold up Light. God is constantly placing such moments in my life. I listened to a devotional.... We are, I AM, that I might have joy! Not just after this life, but here, and now.
   Sometimes my joy is consuming. 

Jesus is the Christ!

I am so grateful all things testify of Christ!
Even wilted celery, and lost metal coins.

Thursday, November 1, 2012


Want to join me?!

This idea came to my mind last night and I am starting today!

 In honor of the challenge, you may want to humm along with me...

Hymn 241
Count Your Blessings

1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your blessings;
See what God hath done.
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings;
See what God hath done.

2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.

3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

4. So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Depending on what fills my list, I do plan, come Dec, to post my list of 150.
What if you miss a day? Just pick it up and start on that day! 

I loved Wilford Woodruff's profound statement. I can't remember if I ever posted it, but it is something I am trying to live by....

And on a personal note, Happy November! November 1st is very sacred to me. It is among the choicest of all days in the year! Happy November!

I am grateful for a mission call that required me to
take out my endowments.