Friday, September 14, 2012

What is MY towel?


1. to encircle or bind with a belt or band.
2. to surround; enclose; hem in.
3. to prepare (oneself) for action: He girded himself for the trial ahead.
4. to provide, equip, or invest, as with power or strength.
 This morning as I woke and read a book review, this scripture came flooding to my mind. Several years ago I was in Gospel Doctrine class. This scripture was brought up. I cannot recall ever hearing/paying attention to this scripture before. I believe the teacher was pointing out that the Savior was going about serving. However, when the scripture was read out loud, my mind took hold of what the Savior was serving with. ... a towel ... girded himself.

What am I Bryndi Cloward girding myself with so that I might better serve?

As I laid in bed I pondered over why is it that I love to study?
1. for selfish reasons, I love what gospel study does to my thoughts, my actions, my intents... more importantly what it does to my heart.
2. IF I can gird myself with: truths, principles, parables, applications... then when the Savior would have me wash and wipe... I am girded with a "towel" that hopefully can comfort, heal, soothe, and warm.
  Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 1 Peter 1:13
 I choose, what my mind and heart are girded with. For surely whatever I focus on, spend my time and energy with (where your treasure is, there will your heart be also) will surround and bind my thoughts.

So what do I won't my thoughts to be bound with?

What will my towel be? 

I am grateful for still, early mornings.

Thursday, September 6, 2012


This happens several times a year, when big events come up for work, and I am in awed by all those I work with. I seriously can't accomplish my tasks without all my projects having to hit the plates of a handful of my co-workers. In the craziness of that last few weeks, I have had moments like yesterday and today when I am just simply overwhelmed with gratitude. I truly can't accomplish my job/tasks/projects without the help/touch/assistance of so many other departments. It is very humbling, and tonight as I plug away, President Monson's quote came to my mind... my eyes are wet. I am humble with the goodness that surrounds me. In a very, very small way, is this a feeling that the Savior feels when we choose to serve Him? With consuming thoughts of gratitude for those who serve me so freely... is this just but a taste/glimps into the Savior's feelings for me when I try to serve Him...?  Wow.

Hill shared this with me tonight. She said it was her new favorite song. I have had it on repeat all night, and the lyrics are awesome! Thanks Hill. I guess it has been around for a few years, but I can't recall hearing it before.

I am grateful for red headed friends who give great hugs!

Monday, September 3, 2012

"Praise our good loving God, His faithfulness endues forever."

In response to an email I sent a dear friend asking if she was okay after a fire at her daughter's place on top of a handful of other hard things she has had to deal with...this was her response to my question.
Were it not for my faith in the Living God, and were it not for the POWER of the Holy Spirit at work in me, I am not sure I could have survived this year and remained a loving, caring, committed, hopeful, positive, productive, loving person. 
Thankfully, "...not I but Christ who live in me..."  has given me perspective without measure and wisdom beyond my years and circumstances.  

Praise our good loving God, His faithfulness endues forever.
This friend and I do not share the same religions views, but our love for the Savior, Jesus Christ and our belief in Him=one and the same! I was touched by her undaunted spirit and trust in God.

Amen Virginia! Thank you for the beautiful reminder you have set.

"Praise our good loving God, His faithfulness endues forever!"
I am grateful for sisters!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Little purpose to our own lives, unless...

What a great reminder from the Sept VT message... I was moved by the quote.

I was thinking of saving this photo for an "a.s.k."= Ask, Seek, Knock quote, but when I read Pres Monson's words again, the picture took on a whole new meaning. Service in the temple. Or symbolic of the doors of service of those around us, the door to one's heart--some service in order for it to have maximum effect, requires the right "key" to unlock the locked. Intents, attitude, humility, and sincerity play a big part, at least for me, in opening closed doors. 

Some doors are more difficult (to serve/open) than others. Eroded by the winds of the day, tarnished by sin, or the neglect of love, or a lack of hope, or rusted with bitterness or discouragement, locked with disdain on life, or worn with unbelief or pride... There can come the temptation to move on to an "easier" locked door. Or to give up trying to open (serve) a door (any door) completely.  However, I know there to be one key that fits every "door" perfectly, the key of charity.

When doors are unlocked and opened, even with the smallest of openings--His light can get in! 

When I feel the lack of"purpose" in life, I must not be serving enough!

" never faileth".

I am grateful for porch swings.

Saturday, September 1, 2012


I work with amazing women and men. One of them happens to be Cynthia (right rider). Cynthia has a LOVE for horses which she shares with her great daughter Holly (left rider).
Jinger heard about Cynthia's passion and love of horses and had an idea of providing a field trip for Ireland. She asked Cynthia if they could have an adventure with the horses.... so Wed wonderful Cynthia and Holly, hitched up their trailer, with their gorgeous horses, Cloud and Boogers, and drove their "Monster Truck" (as Cynthia's, six year old James likes to call it) to the Springville Rodeo grounds. I caught wind of this little outing at work, and did not want to pass up the opportunity of seeing Cynthia and Holly ride.

They were just walking to the arena when I pulled up. And there for a few mins I watched this mother daughter team ride around and love their horses/the moments. I had institute and could only stay but a min, but I was overwhelmed with gratitude at the service and kindness shown by these two women. After a full day of work, and an evening of hot sun, they brushed down and saddled up their beauties to provide a memorable service. I drove away from the rodeo grounds with deep gratitude. People who give so freely for the service and benefit of others--are great heros/examples of Christ. These two women are no exception to the rule. They were so willing to give my Brother's family a moment as a family. I love people!

Seems in the last week or so, I have counted at least 11+ rainbows!  There are some years when I feel lucky if I see even three all year, so in a week, 11+ seems to be a new record!
The left picture happened just the other day. I was on "auto" pilot driving home from work. Much on my mind. I was already processing the next things I needed to do that night. I was just taking my exit when I happened to look to the left of me and saw that beauty! It was bright and so beautiful! I quickly took a picture, yes while I was driving, but take comfort--I obviously wasn't trying to frame the picture--I was just trying to capture the moment. As I took my exit, I contemplated how I almost had just bypassed seeing such a beautiful reminder from Heavenly Father. How symbolic of my day to day run around... not stopping to "smell the roses" or to see the Rainbows God places on my hurried path.

Life is constantly in motion. Constantly changing. Deadlines, reports, people to love, service to render, scriptures to read and then strive to apply, very often the only moments of "pause" are the ones created by being in the temple, on our knees, and the allotment of time we allow ourselves for personal study/pondering/meditation. At least for me, without the moments, to do as the scriptures suggest, "Be still and know that [He] is God" -- life is like me driving in my car, zooming off to do the next thing on my list, and utterly oblivious to the rainbow He placed for me to enjoy even in the hurried rush of the moment. If I had not turned my head to "enjoy" the journey, I would have still arrived at my destination, but without the significance/gift/notice of the beauty that was apart of my journey. It took no added time, did not delay my pace (other than I wanted to slow a bit, to enjoy it longer), it simply added to--not take away. How many times is God trying to give me an add on and I am simply in too much of a hurry to notice/recognize His hand?

I have moved over to the family ward. Felt strongly to do so. It was not the easiest impression to want to follow. The 2nd Sunday I had to keep reminding myself, "Bryndi, you received revelation to be here, you received revelation...". I didn't have to remind myself because of the family ward not being great, because it is so great, but on one's mission, you NEVER really want to be transferred out of an amazing area, and I had an amazing single's ward.

This Thursday was a Relief Society night on the Atonement of Jesus Christ which was going to be taught by the Bishop. When I heard about the event, I could not contain my excitement. I started praying for the Bishop and those who would be involved and those of us who would go and listen.

The evening was just one short hour... but the truths shared were eternal and deeply moving. The Bishop shared his tender thoughts on ministering angels (heavenly ones) and the power of the atonement. He helped share some ideas that brought the atonement even more close to home.

He said he was in WY and was trying to get the foundation poured for his house. One thing happened and the next and he was in an awful hurry. He said that the next day his neighbor would be irrigating and his ground would be flooded causing him to have to wait a month for everything to dry out enough to pour his foundation.

Storm clouds were coming in and the Bishop thought he would take this opportunity to pray with his son. They went out behind their truck and said a prayer. He said he started pleading with the Lord that he needed the rains to not come, how his foundation had to be poured and he was running out of time. The Bishop then said that in the middle of his prayer he recognized all his prayer was focused on him. He then had the impression on his mind, of all the ranchers on their individual knees, who have been pleading for rain. Rain to water their crops, so they could feed their live stock--their lively hood. The Bishop said that through the power of the atonement, his mind was opened to the selfishness of his prayer and the pleadings of others--and after a pause, his prayer changed. And he acknowledged to the Lord about the ranchers needs. He prayed for forgiveness for him only thinking of himself and he ended his prayer with "They will be done." God knew the ranchers prayers and needs and He also knew his own....some that desperately needed rain and his own that desperately needed no rain. The bishop said a sweet peace filled his mind and soul. He finished praying and felt assured all was well. He and his son went back to work. A buddy came back and helped him the rest of the night.

The next day--the bishop realized in gratitude, that he had gotten what he needed to get done with his foundation, with no rain--yet the whole valley had been flooded in rain. In sharing this with the Stake President, he was teased lovingly that He, the bishop, could control the weather... no, the president and the bishop both know who's power and hand stayed the rain on his property/grounds, but the Bishop said it was the power of the atonement--to change his self serving mind set to greater views and deeper depths.

The Bishop shared another time, that his good friend had made some awful mistakes, and chose to leave his beautiful family for another woman. The Bishop said that he loved his friend, who had made poor choices, and he loved the wife, whom his friend had shattered. He said how do you love both fairly, the one hurting, and the one who caused the hurt? How do you stay in the middle? ... and how do you love the friend's new wife, who was part instigater of a beautiful family being torn apart?

The Bishop and his wife, went to go visit his friend, who was married to the new woman now. How do you love, how do you accept? When the Bishop and his wife left, his wife shared that she didn't want to tell him, but she had the strongest impression to go and give the woman (the new wife of the friend) a hug... and so she did.... :)

How does one have power to do this? How does one love uncondionly when conditions weigh heavily on the mortal mind? How does one forgive and allow forgiveness to be felt/seen?

The answer is--the atonement of Jesus Christ.

For any ugliness, judgment, selfishness, bitterness--whatever cankers the soul, the atonement of Jesus Christ is for all of it, and all of it is why there was and is a need for the atonement, the need for Christ.

My notes from the Bishop's inspired talk:
  • Struggles brings one to their knees
  • The greatest gift of the Savior is His living, not His death
  • God allows us to struggle- WHY? Because He knows the atonement, and knows the atonement cannot fail... and because He knows it will not/cannot fail, He is willing to let things play out. (Profound insight for when I am a parent or even when I am working with someone I love. If I truly have faith in the atonement, I will allow things to play out/work out in allowing someone to struggle when it is needed.)
  • Ether 12:4 "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."--We can be at the right hand of God NOW. We can have a sure hope, now, a hope for a better world now, we need not wait for eternity to have a better world. (I loved this insight!)
  • There are two options (basically) in life. Pain or Peace. Christ asks us to hand over our pain, so He can give us peace, but sometimes we don't want to give the pain away because we fear there will be no peace. BUT we need to give the pain--so we can have the peace. (!)
  • Matt 5:44 "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" The atonement is the agent that helps us LOVE our enemies, Bless instead of curse, do good to those that hate us, and pray for despitefully using and persecuting souls. 
  • THE ATONEMENT is the key to pure love.
  • The Atonement is key to overcoming feelings.
My Relief Society President also shared some words too. The evening was amazing. Deep truths that stirred new ideas and stronger faith within me. I felt sad for any who where not able to attend. As I left the building, I noticed it had rained... and of course, I looked up--and a FULL rainbow stretched before me. I chuckled to myself and wanted to wink upwards and thought, "You are so good God. Thanks for the the confirmation of your 'smile' on the evening. I agree too!"

Choice evening.

Goals: the question was posed in class this week for each student to share one of their goals. You would think this is a simple thing, but I did not want nor know what I should share. I started to panic if I even had goals. I thought about sharing how I want someday to have an article in the Ensign--but I feared people's thoughts thinking I was some accomplished writer. I thought about sharing about how I would love to be a speaker of truths to large audiences, but what if they thought that was pompous of me to say. I didn't want to be personal or have any comments when I say I am working at trying to lose 50 more pounds, want someday to publish a book for sale, create moving photography/inspirational pieces, ride a bike well enough that I can have a fun ride with Kaiden, jog for long periods of time, achieve true charity, become a disciple in moderation, have healthy desires, have deep thoughts with and while in the temple, become financially stable to provide the means for younger missions, live for Him instead of for me... I don't talk about this openly, ever.

So what did I say, "I have the goal of being a killer wife and an amazing mom." There was a good chuckle that went around the room. After all this was that preparing for eternal marriage class. The teacher moved on, for which I was thankful, but then I started wondering if even sharing that real goal, was too showy and flashy. I don't want attention. I am painfully (at times) private and don't share what is deeply in my heart and soul often because I feel like I am slightly not normal or is it that I am worried I am not viewed as normal. Or is it that everyone feels the way I do, and we just all don't share it? !! Is everyone else afraid of what others might think? I sure wish I wasn't--add that to another goal!

Even the other day I was asked by a seeking prospect of a date, what it is that I like to do. Can one really say, "I love to read and study and to clean my house" ?!! For if you say that, then the fear comes of, "Read what? Study what?"... Can one really just answer, "Just stuff"? Because I don't necessarily want to say that I love reading anything pertaining to the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love studying concepts and ideas in depth. I LOVE to clean my house and to be alone. So an introvert at times--but I also love to be on the Lord's errand and see His hand in the lives of those around me.

Sigh--GOAL: Let the light shine that He has given me to hold up. I love God so much. My fear of men, tends to be my chosen reason as to why I am not more open. Why I am I so scared of the label of being "churchy"? Or letting others know, when they ask, the truths about how much I do love the gospel? I am sure some reading this who really know me think, "Bryn, you talk about gospel all the time." IF I feel you love God too, I won't hold back the excitement I sometimes/usually try to mellow with the walking Joe, whom I don't know. But if I know you take excitement in areas I do too... wonderful! It comes always back to this. The Bishop's council in giving over the pain so you can have His peace, applies to giving over the fear, so you can shine the light. Not your own light, for we are all just a reflector/mirror of the "Sun". ...

That was incredibly personal... alright, moving on!

I had the strongest impression to pray for someone in the political arena. I believe the impression came Monday. It was random and out of the blue, and I know better then to not follow, so when I knelt, I prayed for this individual and left it at that. Wed I had family prayer with my folks and mentioned my random impression. My dad said he had had the impression to do the same thing. As the week unfolded and I became aware of the week it was... I smiled at the impression that was allotted. God is good. Kind!

Forgive this more personal, somewhat random post--looks like it was way more of a journal entry meant for me to realize some things God would have me know. If you made it through reading the whole thing, award yourself a GOLD STAR and plant it promptly on your forehead just for me! ;)

Sometimes I try to be someone other than or rather hide the one that I truly am. But be it known, I am God's! And I want, and like, being for Him.

I am grateful for line upon line.