We had a RS retreat up at my folks place and in the morning we went out and had a devotional upon the rocks. It was amazing, and I will share why the title of this blog is what it is in a moment.
The presidency gave us little journals and asked us to go take some time to ponder and pray -- and to ask God what our worth is/what he thinks of us.
I walked off some distance, wanting to be more alone so I could pray out loud. I know there is no rule on praying out loud, but for whatever reason it sure helps me focus. I did what was asked and the words that I felt were "Daughter of God". I thought that was interesting. I already know I am a daughter of God---I wrote down the following in my journal that morning,
"I can become like Him and who He is--is in me. I am made up of Him. I am His daughter."Forgive me for being a little more personal with this post. This is not what I had planned to do with my evening.
The wind was blowing, the awesome big black ants were crawling (yes on me) and I could hear the birds chirping. I climbed off my rock and headed back to the cabin. I still was pondering over "daughter of God". What did God want me to know about that?
As I walked through the sage brush, I noticed two white flowers. Beautiful in contrast to the dusty brush and dry clay ground. There were several hundred little blue flowers and splashes of little yellow flowers, but these two nickle size white flowers were the only ones of their kind. I have roamed that mountain hill for years now, and they were new. I felt that God was telling me that "being" a daughter of God was like those two flowers. I picked one (I know, gasp all you who love the environment--I love it too, but I had to pick one! :) Too symbolic not to.)
I drove home from an inspired activity, still with the thought of "daughter of God" heavy on my heart and head. As Kristi and I drove past a group of weeds I commented to her how the pioneers brought the "flower" as a decorative plant/and for bottling (I know this from a walk with dad... and yes he made me eat a weed to see how it tasted to the pioneers-thanks dad! ha ha) and now what they brought for beauty is one of the most overgrown/over takes anything in its path weed. I mentioned to Kristi that I need to be careful of the habits I am sowing right now that I think are good and worthy--but really for future generations to come are noxious weeds. Kristi in the middle of our conversation blurted out, "Bryndi, I just love that everything you look at ties to some principle." She said it in sincerity, but she could have never known that I had been struggling with some insecurities about that very trait. ANd here Kristi was thanking my brain for thinking that way. -- Needless to say her complement was a tender mercy from God.
Well later, maybe it was that day/week it is funny how I can't recall how it happened, but I heard the words from Julie B. Becks conference talk,
"There has grown in me an overwhelming testimony of the value of daughters of God. So much depends on them."God was talking to me!
It is one thing to have the title of "daughter of God" because we all are that--we are literally His spirit children entrusted to mortal parents. But the status of "being" a daughter of God-- so so much more. On the rocks, God was wanting me to know and whispering what I could be.
A just studied about the difference between a son of man and a son of God. What is the difference? Moroni 7:47-48 There are so many good things in the whole chapter, but those last few verses are intense. I want to be (current condition)a daughter of God.
Sister Murray shared this incredible experience with visiting teaching at the Relief Society retreat.
She said that she was to visit teach a particular sister that would not let she or her companion come into the house because the sister didn't want them to know that she had smoking issues. Sister Murray and her companion would visit this sweet sister on the porch or take her out for french fries. I am not sure what the sister's name is, but for the sake of this post, I will call her Ann.
Ann, was a musician--singer and writer of her own music. Sister Murray and her companion decided one night that they would go to this place where Ann would be preforming a few of her numbers. (It was an event where lots of different composers could share their compositions.)
Sister Murray sat on the front row. And through the night Ann would come out and sit with them. A few different times, Sister Murray could smell the alcohol on her Ann's breath. When Ann came out, she sang her composition. It was on Hell and Vampires.
The next time Sister Murray and her companion went over to visit Ann, Ann told them that she had written the two of them a song. She said that she had been so touched by them coming to see her preform. She then sang for them her song, "What if Jesus sat in the front row". Sister Murray and her companion where completely over come that Ann would compare them with Christ. But Ann said that she was so touched that they would come--and there she was singing about hell and vampires. She said from that day forward she would never write another dark song. And she completely changed her life style--to a more pure and holy one.
What if Jesus sat in the front row... I can't wait to hear the song! I cried when I heard the story and shared it later that morning with Dad. His eyes were wet too.
Will I "sit" for Jesus? Will I go where he would have me go. Will I be a daughter of God--pleading and cleaving to charity? Let Charity govern my thoughts and actions in private (my mind, my heart) and in public? Something to strive for, for sure.
Well, to finish this post, I need to share just bullets of the last few days.
*Sam got back! Even though he was exhausted he could have not been any greater!! We went shooting (with the camera :)) at a little water front near his sister's house. We shot for over an hour! Okay, honestly, who can not love UTAH!!! Look at God's handy work!
Thanks for the shoot Sam!
Now for all of those who know nature=camera freak for me, don't be thinking "poor Sam, had to get drug into one of Bryndi's picture sprees..!" As you can tell... Sam was quite enjoying himself too! :)
*I received a call from Davey during work yesterday--it went something like this,
Bryndi: Hi Davey, you okay? I usually don't answer my phone at work but thought to.
Davey: I was hoping you would. Question, would you mind giving a talk at my baptism?
Bryndi: (Silent scream) Yes, sure, what on?
Bryndi: Davey what are you doing?
Davey: I am at work, it is slow and I am kind of bored. I am just putting together my program.
I ended the conversation and had a good cry on my knees in gratitude. Davey is a son of God. He has changed his whole life around, and you can't but help feel his love for God. I had to thank God for letting me be around such choice people. Davey's desire to do the right thing, caused me to look at my own life and analyze the areas that I have awesome flaws in. I want to be better because of how Davey is.
*Text from David in which he shared with me some scriptures that God had led him to read. I am still not sure what brought him to read those scriptures, but seeing God support David in his deep time of need, was overwhelming, it was beautiful. God is good!
*Set up a temple trip this morning with some friends. I missed the session and my friends, but found myself being assisted by my mom before going into the celestial room. That was tender. (Just as sacred as the time I got to preform part of the inititory ordiance with Nyk.) Then seeing an old bishop at the front desk as I was leaving and to top it off, Kayla Rainy (back when I taught yw's in the deaf ward) was waiting to get names to go do baptisms with all my old girls in Manti. I have not seen Kayla in almost a year. And to see her, IN THE TEMPLE, could there not be a sweeter gift than this?!
*Then an inspired scripture sent via email
"2 Ne 3:19, "And it shall be as if the fruit of thy loins had cried unto them from the dust; for I know their faith." Bryndi, God knows us perfectly, and I love this scripture because it is a testimony that he has sent us at this time because he knows our faith, even before we were sent to the earth. I learned from this scripture that this is a way heavenly Father knows the future, because he knows us perfectly so he knows our faith to do works."
God knows who I am and what I need.
I want to BE His daughter. I want to be sitting in someone's front row when the need arises.
Moroni 7:48 -- I want to "...be like him".
To quote Sam, "Wonderful Day!"