DESPITE WHAT'S LURKING

A few days ago I asked someone whom I love how they were doing. I knew that she has had much on her plate. Her response was profound, "Me.. I am decidedly good..." What a statement!! And let me tell you, she could be decidedly doom and gloom with the worlds approval and justification in her life's situations. HOWEVER she has chosen to be decidedly good, no matter what. What beautiful faith and trust in God. Does that mean everything is sunshine and roses! NO way!

I was searching through my pictures to find one that would go with this awesome statement, and I came across a four-wheeling trip Treebs, mom, dad, Thanyermack and I took back in July last year. We went up past where we call "The Sacred Grove" and continued on the trail until we came to a dead end. It is a beautiful little place where one can look down on Scolfield. (That particular day we were racing against the storm.)

We stopped to take a group picture and as we were getting ready to pack up, I noticed these pretty blue flowers growing right under the barbwire fence. The symbolism of something so beautiful growing despite something that can cause a lot of pain was overwhelming and I had to capture the insight by camera! The sad part however, was that I was not in focus with the flowers up front, but rather on the sharpness of the the barwire.... so I have never used the picture. (And yes, there is a lesson all there in itself of what one chooses to focus on in life. The beauty or the brier!) It wasn't until last night when looking through my pictures that I caught how much more amazing this picture is to me NOW after President Uchtdorf's Forget Me Not talk from last Sept. BY GEORGE, I HAD TAKEN A PICTURE OF FORGET ME NOT FLOWERS!!!! (For a refresher of President Uchtdorf's brilliant talk, click here.)

Here these flowers were growing in a pretty unknown/forgotten place! And they were growing despite the wires [experiences/conditions/afflictions/pain/LIFE] that hung over their head! You can see how perfectly a little left from the middle/bottom of the picture there is a piece of wire that has been wound over and over. And close to these words, you can see the rusty wire inching from the side of the picture. But these Forget Me Not flowers were DECIDEDLY GOOD! Still choosing to "bloom where they were planted" regardless of what stretched/gloomed before them. What an attitude!  
What great faith it takes to live decidedly good!  

President Monson has reminded on occasion of the adage “When the time for decision arrives, the time for preparation is past.” And Barbara Thompson shared:

In the book Daughters in My Kingdom, we read about Sister Hedwig Biereichel, a woman in Germany who suffered much sorrow and deprivation during World War II. Because of her love and charitable nature, and even in her own great need, she willingly shared her food with starving prisoners of war. Later, when asked how she was able to “keep a testimony during all [those] trials,” she replied in effect, “I didn’t keep a testimony through those times—the testimony kept me.”

So I must decide right now, what will my attitude and heart be when the wires of life poke or threaten to barricade my way progress/growth... will I be decidedly good come what may and no matter what? Will I forsake my faith/hope/joy, or allow God's plan of "keeping me" even in the mist of a storm? ... when time for decision arrives, I will, like my wise friend, choose to live my life decidedly good! I choose to live my life decidedly happy, decidedly optimistic, decidedly faith-filled, decidedly rejoicing/trusting in Jesus Christ. Decidedly firm in my commitments to God... BECAUSE Jesus is the Christ and I am decidedly seeking to become like Him.

36 DAYS

Thanks to Shani at work, she reminded me that I needed to check when I needed to start reading to finish the last conference talks before 2012's March/April Conference. Apparently I should have started two days ago--but I will catch up tomorrow! Join me! Every six months when I do the "pre" conference challenge, I have never been disappointed with my use of time in studying the talks over!

I have 14 pages of favorite quotes from the Oct 2011 conference... but here are just two pages of them. A taste of what this challenge can/will bring! 

Jesus Christ is the Only Begotten and Beloved Son of God. He is our Creator. He is the Light of the World. He is our Savior from sin and death. This is the most important knowledge on earth, and you can know this for yourself, as I know it for myself. --Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary. --Elder Robert D. Hales

Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.” --Elder Robert D. Hales

Perhaps as much as praying for mercy, we should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome. --Elder D. Todd Christofferson

At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

He [Jesus Christ] waited upon His Father—exercising His agency to forgive His enemies (Luke 23:34). --Elder Robert D. Hales

...what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Our Father in Heaven understood that for us to make desired progress during our mortal probation, we would need to face difficult challenges. Some of these would be almost overpowering. He provided tools to help us be successful in our mortal probation. One set of those tools is the scriptures. --Elder Richard G. Scott

Let us be as quick to kneel as we are to text. --Elder Ian S. Ardern

The way to receive personal revelation is really quite clear. We need to desire to receive revelation, we must not harden our hearts, and then we need to ask in faith, truly believe that we will receive an answer, and then diligently keep the commandments of God. --Sister Barbara Thompson

Satan is a real being set on destroying you... --Jeffrey R. Holland

“Let us plead with the Lord to endow our mind and soul with the spark of faith that will enable us to receive and recognize the divine ministering of the Holy Spirit.” (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf) --Sister Barbara Thompson

“The Lord expects our thinking. He expects our action. He expects our labors. He expects our testimonies. He expects our devotion.” (President Monson) --Elder Jose L. Alonso

...your eternal destiny will not be the result of chance but of choice. It is never too late to begin to choose eternal life! --Elder Randall K. Bennett
You may in time of trouble think that you are not worth saving because you have made mistakes, big or little, and you think you are now lost. That is never true! Only repentance can heal what hurts. But repentance can heal what hurts, no matter what it is. -- Elder Boyd K. Packer

Dress modestly; talk reverently; listen to uplifting music. Avoid all immorality and personally degrading practices. Take hold of your life and order yourself to be valiant. -- Elder Boyd K. Packer
“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. ... It is what God gave you time for.” (Rachel Jankovic) --Elder Neil L. Andersen

Time is never for sale; time is a commodity that cannot, try as you may, be bought at any store for any price. Yet when time is wisely used, its value is immeasurable. --Elder Ian S. Ardern

Whoever you are and whatever you have done, you can be forgiven. Every one of you young men can leave behind any transgression with which you may struggle. It is the miracle of forgiveness; it is the miracle of the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. But you cannot do it without an active commitment to the gospel, and you cannot do it without repentance where it is needed. --Jeffrey R. Holland

A temple marriage for time and all eternity is worthy of your greatest efforts and highest priority. --Sister Elaine S. Dalton

The Lord’s way is not to sit at the side of the stream and wait for the water to pass before we cross. It is to come together, roll up our sleeves, go to work, and build a bridge or a boat to cross the waters of our challenges. --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

The greatest compliment that can be earned here in this life is to be known as a covenant keeper. --Elder Russell M. Nelson

When we have charity, we are willing to serve and help others when it is inconvenient and with no thought of recognition or reciprocation. We don’t wait to be assigned to help, because it becomes our very nature. --Sister Silvia H. Allred

“There is no chance, no fate, no destiny that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” (Elder Marion D. Hanks) --Elder Quentin L. Cook

Accept the restored gospel of Jesus Christ as your way of life. --President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

There is power in being reminded of how great God is and His son Jesus Christ!  There is great power in being reminded of Heavenly Father's plan for us ... of the "why" we are here on this earth ... where we are going ... and who we really are. There is power in remembering. There is power in perspective...! 

Jesus LIVES!

INEXPERIENCED

Ryan saw this quote in the elevator at the church headquarters. He liked it so much he took a snapshot of it. Other then VERY clever marketing (thanks Jing for pointing that out) of "elevate" in an elevator... the message is so profound.

Inexperienced in parenting, a calling, a job, a task, a relationship, a new trial, teaching, a new abyss, DATING :), etc. If we will allow, God will help us BECOME!

DON'T WORRY! (Remember, worry is a faith KILLER and a peace DESTROYER.)

YOUR/OUR/MY God is in control! And His timing/ways are perfectly perfect. Oh may we allow Him to reason with us.

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord... Isaiah 1:18

...let us reason together, that ye may understand... Doctrine and Covenants 50:10

FAMILY

      How merciful our Heavenly Father is. This morning I read "The Doctrine of the Father" (click here for article) from the Ensign. Elder Cook stated: "...God the Father is ... the Author of the plan that gives us hope and potential." He shared that observing families now, can bring great understanding about our heavenly Family.
    I loved this reminder of who we are.

"Regardless of the circumstances of our mortal birth, we are all spirit sons and daughters of heavenly parents. God is a righteous and loving father. Our spirits came into being out of love and a deliberate choice to give us life and opportunity." -- Elder Cook!

 It was a GREAT article to be reminded.

This past week has been amazing! Paul and Sue were sealed in the temple! An event we have been anticipating for many months. Paul felt/saw Becky in his mind's eye walking/giving Sue to Paul in the temple. What a sweet gift from God. Welcome to the family Sue!

Highlights from an AMAZING weekend!

Having Kiss out for a WHOLE week!!

Paul and Sue's sealing!

Getting to see the birthday boy try to "pin" the worm on the hook!

After a several years of not getting on the snow mobiles--Dad took me on a beautiful SAFE ride onto the lake.

Finding Micarie & James trying their luck with ice fishing down an 18inch thick hole!

Hearing Micarie squeal as James flew over an expected jump! 

Listening to all the kiddos giggle!

Dad's homemade Tamales!

And over all, JUST SPENDING TIME WITH FAMILY.  This picture about sums up the weekend. A LOT of love!

Thank you mom and Dad for such a wonderful weekend! Thank you Sue for "waiting" on the Lord and His timing. Thank you Paul for trusting in God. Thank you Kiss for hanging out with your favorite sister with brown hair!  :D

God is good!

PRAYERS NEEDED...!

This girl is in need of prayers.  You can check out her blog (click here).

Today is a big day for her for she is hoping to be well enough to make it to the doctor's appointment to have tests run to see what is wrong with her body. No cancer, no "anything" ???  they don't know what is wrong with her other then she doesn't have an immune system. Today is a big day in that she needs to be "well enough" to go to the doctors.  And prayers that the doctors might be inspired.  Please keep Whitney in your prayers.  This is a movie Whitney's little sister made for at Christmas... Whitney is a beauitful girl, inside and out. You will see her testimony shine through her blog. She is courageous in facing and fighting something doctors haven't been able to diagnose yet.  She is an inspiration to all!!

People are praying for you Whitney!! God loves you!! We love you!!

HAPPY FAVORITE DAY!

It is true-- Valentine's is one of my most cherished holidays. I love the reminder and the excuse to express love and appreciation for those who have been placed in my path. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

I made this sometime ago!  I remember driving through the back roads of springville after a particular heavy snow storm. It was very cold out, and although the storm had left it's mark, it also left it's beauty...



Every time I read a scripture that talks about doing things in the light of day, because when the darkness comes, no man can preform their labor--I find myself going into a contemplation mode. There are handful of these types of verses:

...for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed. (Alma 34:33)

Why is it so important for us to have already made up our mind in the light of day? Because one day we will be tested... and that testing time may be dark, and if we have not set our mind firm, we may waver and give into things we ought not give into because the "darkness/night" of the test has come.  So what will I decided now, to be immoveable in/with?

I may have shared this before, but it bares reapting. I had an institute teacher share an experience once of one of his daughters who went into labor. There were many life threatening complications for she and the baby and for a time, it was not certain that either one would make it. My institute teacher had a huddle out in the hall with his other daughters and his wife. And his father council was this, that no matter what happened that they would still love and honor God and still trust in him. Everyone was in tears and they agreed to remain faithful to God no matter what. This father then went into see his sweet daughter, who at any time was at high risk for loosing not only the unborn baby, but also her own life. Without her father even saying anything, this sweet girl who was in an awesome "hell" of her own, told her dad that she knew that no matter what happened, she would still honor and server God.

I have always been impressed by that story... in the heat of the moment, who will I be? Just because I choose to follow Christ and try to stay postitive, doesn't mean that I can drown the pain of the particular path out with my postitive atttidude, however, I believe GREAT faith comes and can be accessed by continuing in trusting in God and His timing no matter what.  Shani at work kept up a beauitful saying that said something to the effect of faith in God also means faith in His timing.

So in my currant "light" of life moment, I am striving to work on my own vessel. that when the storms come, I can remember and act upon following and trusting in Christ--come what may!

Myrna told me once that while she was in the hospital after some chemo, that she was in an amazing amount of pain. So much pain that she didn't know how she could go on and even have the will to live. The pain was more than she thought she could bare. She pleaded with God to take the pain away. Then she had in interesting impression. She felt that God would not allow the pain to be taken away, however He would help her get through the pain. And she said that the pain still remained and it was awful, but she felt strengthened (not less pain, but strength) while going through the pain.

I know who Jesus Christ is. And Heavenly Father. And although I know it is easier said then actually put into practice, especially in the heat of the moment, I will do as 2 Nephi 25 directs (bolds mine):

…for the right way is to believe in Christ and deny him not…

…And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul… (vs 28-29)

THE RIGHT WAY-- in all my life, all situations, circumstances, instances, decisions, attitude--THE RIGHT WAY is to believe in Christ and deny him not! Deny him not the opportunity to comfort me, to bring peace to my mind. Allow the time to teach me and help me learn what I need to learn. Deny Him not my agency in allowing the Father's will to be done and not mine.

The right way/answer is always CHRIST!  The application is huge. One can ask, How would Christ handle this. What would he do. What did he do (when rejected, mocked, spit upon, walked lonely/friendless paths). How was His attitude. How was His faith even when he asked to have the bitter cup removed, but it was not! His way, should/needs to be my way.

Jesus is the Christ!!  Deciding in the light, what I will be/hold onto when surrounded by "dark". I will be HIS! I know easier said than done. But like Myrna, I may not have the burden lifted, but HE can/will help me through them.

Oh I LOVE Valentine's Day!! God so LOVES US!! YOU!! ME!!  Keep trusting in Him. All things shall work together for our good! 

God, so loves YOU!

When you feel like you are drowning...

JUST REMEMBER!
...THE Lifeguard walks on water!  

I saw the saying -- When you feel you are drowning, remember, your Lifeguard walks on water--online the other day. Such a clever saying! It was attached with a beautiful picture of Christ's feet walking on top of the water. I decided it just needed a little tweaking. Yes, YOURS and MY Lifeguard walks on water, but ultimately there is only ONE Lifeguard, THE Lifeguard of all our souls. If we allow ourselves to, we can stretch out and reach for His hands for His hands are always reaching for us. 

So many miracles, I don't have enough time to write them all. I have seen God's hand and tender mercies unfold time and time again. There is no limit to His goodness, His long suffering, His kindness!

In needing and wanting to visit with someone who seems impossible to visit--for months I have talked to God about not knowing what new game plan to take. The impression came to stop by her house before work. 8:30am brought me knocking on her door and her mom saying that she would wake her up. I half expected rolling eyes and daggers to pierce me when she found out I was the one who took her from her dreamland slumber... but a hour later we were talking about God and His plans for her. The spirit was present and I know she knew God had sent her a message. God made a way! 

I have not seen Myrna since Christmas Eve where my mom, Thaynermack and Santa snuck over to visit her in the rehab place. She cried with our visit and we cried seeing her fighting for her life. She did not want to be in there and had even attempted to go home. The doctor told her she could go home and die, or she could stay at the center and learn to live. She chose to learn to live!

Myrna has now been home for almost a month and her health has improved! Dad cooked up her favorite, spaghetti and I had the privilege of taking it to her home. Boy did she look so good!  She is not 100% Myrna but she was cracking jokes about her hair and she was filled with so much light and joy! Look at that smile!



She said while she was in the hospital that there many times where she just wanted to die. She even asked God to allow her to die. She did this several times, but to no avail... God still has a work for Myrna on THIS side of the veil. And thank goodness! 

With permission from Myrna, I would like to share with you some of her sacred testimony about her experience with cancer.

Q:How did you discover you had cancer?
I started having bleeding, and I thought I better go to the doctor. I thought it was a hemorrhoid, but they found a tumor and it was a 2 out of 4 stages of cancer.

After my surgery I just wanted to die and I wanted to be with Jim [her husband that passed away nearly 5 years ago] so bad. I prayed for the Lord to take me but he wouldn't do it. I should have listened to all my priesthood blessings. They all said I would pull through it and I was going against the Lord's will by asking him to let me die.

A couple days after the surgery I looked at Craig [her son] and I thought he looked so scared and so worried. He said "mom, promise me you wont give up." That is when I knew I had to live. He and I are really close. After that I snapped out of it and was doing very good [for a time] ...

I was in there [the hospital] for 10 days and came home for 3 weeks. Then they started the chemo... I did really good for the first 3 or 4 months of chemo, but then they gave me too much chemo and I just could not eat. I was getting worse and worse instead of better. ...

After being rushed to the hospital after one of her treatments, they found that her levels were at zero. Dr. Radly told Debbie (Debbie is Myrna's sweet daughter-in-law who like Ruth of old, has never left her Mother-in-law's side) that one more hour and Myrna would have been dead. They had given her too much Chemo. It was the hospital's mistake. Myrna recalls:

I can remember feeling like I was floating... and the clouds were so bright, you can't describe them... so peaceful... but then BOOM (!) I wasn't there and something pulled me back. God didn't want me back [with him]. I didn't see anyone or hear anyone just those bright bright clouds.... but that is when Dr. Radly thought they were loosing me.

When I was going up [to the the hospital] every 2 weeks to get chemo... I have an old car and I would always say a prayer that we would be safe and the car wouldn't have any troubles and we [never did have any troubles].

I kept having [a] dream over and over... there was a long hall... and there was a man that had his back to me and he was sweeping--he was sweeping away the debris in the hall. When he got to the end of the hall he turned to face me. It was the Savior and he smiled. He had such a beautiful smile. I didn't understand the meaning of the dream but I had it over and over... but it then came to me that the Savior was clearing the way for Debbie and me...  [With reverence and quiet emotion Myrna then declared] So I have seen the Savior.

The second time when I was in the nursing home I prayed for God to take me and he didn't... I did not want to be there, but he didn't take me. [Then with perfect "Myrna humor" she said] God didn't want me neither did the devil so I am back here to torment you guys!

 In church Sunday, Myrna had no intentions of baring her testimony and even told her self that she was too emotional to share, but then "BOOM I am up there.... sometimes you have got to do it because the spirit told to."

When asked what advice she would give to anyone who is in the thick of their storm Myrna said: "Don't give up, have faith and have [priesthood] blessings all along [the journey]."

We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we praised God for his goodness.  I wish everyone could have her the profound conviction in her realization that she was praying to die when it was God's will for her to live. This woman is surely among the elect of God.

In prep for Jinger's birthday and some other experiences I was led (with a heart and mind that was ready to pay attention) to sing and take notice of the words in Hymn 85. I have taken out the repet of most verses... but how profound the lyrics to this song are!

How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord, Is laid for your faith in his excellent word! What more can he say than to you he hath said, Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled? 

In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health, In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth, At home or abroad, on the land or the sea— As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be. 

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand. 

When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow, For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress. 

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine. 

E’en down to old age, all my people shall prove My sov’reign, eternal, unchangeable love; And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn, Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne. 

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

I am not sure why we are called to go through all that we are called to go through... but this I do know.  Our Savior, WALKS on water! And when through fiery trials our pathway shall lie, HIS grace, IS sufficient and will be our supply. The flames will not hurt us, but will be the KEY to consume our dross and refine the gold "divine" that is in us.

MY SOUL on Jesus shall lean for repose. I WILL NOT, I CANNOT desert to His foes. And although all hell will endeavor to shake me (physically, spiritually, mentally, emotioally)...

I'll NEVER, I'LL NEVER, I'LL NEVER MY GOD forsake!

Jesus walks on water and He has and will continue to clear the debris! 

Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder...!  

I AM

I know it's not spring--but can you notice what all these pictures have in common? and beside the obvious tulips... what is it about these tulips? 

Notice the LIGHT!  (It almost looks as if there is a light bulb inside each tulip.)

You can't see through them but you can see light through them...!  

 I have an insecurity that creeps it's ugly little head from time to time. Seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life. Obviously by it's occurrence, it is something I have not overcome yet. The insecurity or rather the temptation to not be who I know I should be and deep down inside want to me. 

...I share, on a very, very personal side, my journal from tonight with you. It may not make sense to anyone, and is deeply personal, but sometimes we are suppose to "let" our light that we would normally keep very private, "shine" [be shared]. I share my journal not to say "look at me" but rather what Christ, the Gospel, and Heavenly Father are TO me. 

1.27.12

I just finished reading out of 2 Nephi 15 with Ridges book. So good! It talks a lot about the last days and Isaiah saw the wicked and the righteous, it was just amazing. It was good and with my lack of time, I have had to go through the chapter for 2 days. But so good!
       Tonight, as I read what the wicked were doing, over and over in my mind I found myself asking, "Lord, is it I?". And my eyes filled with tears in not wanting to be like that. Great fear and destruction is waiting those who will not have God for their god. And although much is coming, and Brother Ridges points out that Isaiah/God want us to know WHY he is doing things so that we can use our agency wisely... but as I read the temptation to have terror and fear for the last days came upon me, but then the remembering the sweet words of if we are prepared we shall not fear. I don't want to fear, nor do I need to fear. I am grateful for the gospel in my life. How I love it. How I need it. How I long to be who God wants me to be. I feel strengthened and uplifted by his hands. I yearn to learn about him and like Uncle Dave says, lay hold on all of his dealings with the children of men. Me too. I have a long ways to go, but I do see his hand. And I praise his name! I love him!  I love Jesus Christ and I long to be like him. I long to have as Penny Hughes on accident typed that it was going to be a "god year" instead of good year... I do want it to be not just a God year, but a God day, week, moment. I want Christ to be the motivation and the reason behind my heart and the things that I do. I want to see as I am seen by Heavenly Father. I want to lift burdens  and strengthen those who are weak. I want to lose my life to him, for it is not even my life to lose, for I am bought with a price. But rather I rather take His life/way of life up as my own. I am so tempted to think that my way is better, or that what I want or desire trumps. Christ went about healing folks one by one and spending his time with those that most needed him. I NEED him and how I want to be his hands for those who NEED him. We all need him.
         I am not yet a mother, and I often ponder how mothers do all that they do. Truly selfless beings that adapt and keep the temperature warm, the smiles coming. Like Karisa said, MOM = “Manager of Miracles”. How to keep a home, love the children, still serve and be about God's work with my children. I have a desire to instill in them love and faith in Jesus Christ. A desire to give of themselves freely. To be humble followers. To not just be hearers of the word but doers. What a role given to mothers. My own mother who lifts and serves, blesses others through her faith and cheer. My sisters and sister in laws who day in and day out give of their heart and soul.  I know there must be balance and I dread slackening on my commitment to God and pray that even while being a mother I can be secure and ever improving in my relationship/relying on my God. IT is an area of my life I do not want to give up on or slacken in. I must find a way to keep the balance of having time with God even in the mist of all the pressures and wonderful strains of being a mother and raising a family. But my relationship with Heavenly Father--I plead that I might not slacken. That I can be all he wants me to be and give and do, while still getting/taking time to commune with him and read his word. All done in wisdom of course, but I see the demands on a mother and a wife. And I notice the demands and I am only a viewer from the outside for I have not been a mother yet. Oh I have the desire to love and not judge. To lift to cherish. I have a desire to be at home and serving in the kingdom. I say that now but I see how heavy some mothers have become. How does one keep the joy? How does one make sure she stays bathed in help as Sister Beck says, even in turbulent times? I don't know the answer, but I know that it stems and has to do with keeping Christ in my day every day. Keeping Him in my center. How to do this as a mother... I must find a way. I want to be a mother for Christ and this gospel. I want to be a wife that will adorn herself for her husband.
     ...
         Random journal, but my soul is full and stirs with Wonder.  I love my God. I love my Savior. How I yearn to be like them. How I yearn to bring anyone to them that would come.  I live and want to live my life for them.

 I studied in John tonight, and was yet reminded again that the desires I have, although don't match with a world outlook, are truly the desires of my heart. I am to "let my light so shine". I am not sure why I try so hard to hide it at times, or rather to not be seen as "churchy" ... but truth be told, this is who I am. 

And WHO am I? I am Bryndi K Cloward. I AM a daughter of God. I have Heavenly parents who love me, who's Godly traits are embryos inside me waiting to be 1.) discovered and 2.) developed & shared. I am a keeper of the Cloward and Babbel names. My parents and ancestors' blood runs through me and I will be true to the divine in them and me. I am a holder of my tongue. The Savior suffered long and I will learn to birth (as dad says) that embryo--to nurture it. I believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men...I believe all things, I hope all things, I have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I seek after these things (13th Article of Faith).  I am not perfect. I am perfectly flawed. Through Christ my weaknesses can be made strengths. I will be, in the form God allows me to be, a mother and a wife that keeps Christ at her center. I am a barer of light. HIS light and I will let His light shine through me. I am Bryndi K Cloward. I am a hard worker, I am full of integrity and I see the "God" in those around me. I am a keeper of mens hearts. I am a giver of love, and a seeker of obtaining and giving unconditional love. I take joy and become bliss filled as I see/recognize His hand not only in my life but His hand in the lives of others. I am Bryndi K Cloward. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints--my own choice and blessed choice it is!! I am For Jesus Christ and am a builder in His kingdom. I know HE LIVES. 

I am Bryndi K. Cloward-- and I will let His Light, so shine, through me.

This is who I am/strive to be. And no matter what, Heavenly Father and His will come first... I will go. I will do, for I KNOW who I am. 

I am Bryndi K Cloward. I am a child of God.

POP QUIZ!

What is the greatest temple that has ever been built?

This was the question asked by the pretty new Stake President Sunday evening. President Clare and his wife (I have no idea if the last name is spelled right) were invited to come and speak to six singles wards... my ward was in charge of getting the speaker... THANK YOU BROTHER WALKER!  (I must say it was probably one of the top five firesides I have ever attended outside of CES firesides. Maybe coming up to the #1 I have ever attended!  It was that good!)

President Clare suggested that we had better be careful with which temple we selected because his mission covered Kirtland. :)  When he asked the question, I immediately thought of my OWN personal temple.  After a few quick suggestions of different temples, someone called out that "WE" were the greatest temples God has ever built.  President Clare had found the answer to his question!

The greatest temple ever built is...

(Here is Taybabe outside Manti this past summer. Love you TREEBS!)

I was studying Isaiah this week in 2 Nephi 12 and Isaiah 2. Last year I went through 2 Nephi with Isaiah for Airheads by John Bytheway. This year I decided to go through with David J. Ridges's Isaiah Made Easier.  (Very happy with this decision.)

Vs. 10 in 2 Nephi 12 states, "...the glory of his majesty shall smite thee."  Brother Ridges comment with that verse is, "you will not be able to stand the brightness of his glory at the Second Coming and will thus be consumed; see D&C 5:19."  The GLORY of the Lord is what consumes the wicked.

Brother Ridges continued, "Some years ago, a student asked me how the temples would survive the burning at the Second Coming. Verses 10, 19, 21 plus D&C 5:19 provide a simple answer. Temples can stand the glory of the Lord. Therefore, they will not be burned."

As I read these words, all the thoughts from the fireside and the greatest temple ever built settled my mind. God's temples can withstand His glory!  And why not!  We are told that He does not dwell in unholy temples.  SOO if I can prepare my physical/spiritual temple, my body, to become holy--a place where He can dwell-- MY TEMPLE [body] will be able to with stand the glory of God = NOT BE BURNED AT HIS COMING because my temple will already be used to being full of light, HIS LIGHT, His glory!!!  Of course add in your fire insurance of paying tithing to the whole package too--but what another beautiful reason to make sure that my body becomes a temple where God can dwell!

And just as a treat... Krisi shared this GREAT talk with me on Grace (click here). It is so worth the read! Thank you for sharing Kristi! I LOVED IT!

"But wo..."

"... unto him...that wasteth the days of his probation, for awful is his state!" 

"O... turn away from your sins; shake off the chains of him that would bind you fast; come unto that God who is the rock of your salvation."

"Come... every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters..."

"...do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy... come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness."

"...remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day, and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice."

My morning devotional was with Nephi's brother Jacob this morning. SOO good!

I personally love it when I am reminded to "let" myself do something...LET MYSELF REJOICE!! LET MY SOUL DELIGHT in feasting upon that which doesn't perish/or can't be corrupt = REJOICE in/because of CHRIST! My soul DELIGHTS in HIM!

BLESS GOD'S SHOES!

So this is a bit of a spoiler... sorry if you haven't gotten to this story in this month's Ensign (click here to view the Jan Ensign) but I read this story yesterday and was moved by it.  So much that it made it into my journal and I thought I should post it here.

Daddy’s Shoes
Priscilla Costa Xavier, São Paulo, Brazil

     Several years ago while my parents were helping the Relief Society organize some clothes, shoes, and other items to be donated to the needy, my father noticed a well-kept pair of shoes in the middle of a pile of items. At that moment he felt a strong impression to keep the shoes.
     My mother laughed and said, “This pair of shoes is three sizes too small for you. They wouldn’t even fit!”
     My father, however, strongly insisted. After several jokes from the sisters, they finally allowed him to keep the shoes.
     As soon as he arrived home, he cleaned them, filled them with newspaper, and placed them in a box on top of his dresser. We received instructions not to touch the box. For five years it remained in the same place.
     One day a new family moved into the house next door. They had two children and a six-month-old baby. My sister and I immediately became friends with their two girls, who were our age. We shared with our new friends what we were learning in church, and we invited them to Primary. They were excited and eager to learn more about what we had shared with them.
    After returning home from Primary, they didn’t stop talking about the Church with their parents. Our parents then invited the whole family to hear the missionary lessons and go to church. They joyfully accepted. They loved the lessons, and we were excited to attend church with them.
     But when Saturday came, their daughters seemed disheartened. When we asked what was wrong, they said their parents no longer wanted to go to church.
     We were disappointed and asked Daddy to talk with their parents. When he told them about the blessings of attending church, the father replied, “Yes, I know all of this. The problem is that I haven’t worn any other kind of shoe besides my sneakers in a long time, and I know that we should go to Church meetings well dressed.”
     At that moment my father looked at my mother. She knew exactly what to do. The shoes in the box on top of Daddy’s dresser fit our friends’ father perfectly, and the entire family went to church. It was a wonderful Sunday for them and for us. Soon they became members of the Church, and today they are a beautiful eternal family.
     I know that my father received direction from the Holy Ghost to keep those shoes. As a result, I always seek His guidance in looking for families ready to hear the gospel. I know He prepares families, and I know we need to look for them and bring them to Christ.

The whole concept of the story is amazing to me.   The dad felt to keep the shoes... was even teased for it.  He took them home and cleaned them and then put them up with the request that on one touch them...

I hope I would follow such an impression, and I believe that I would have.  HOWEVER at the end of a month, maybe two months, I would be tempted to think that I was a little crazy for keeping the shoes.  And sure at the end of the first year with spring cleaning and getting rid of items I no longer use... I would have picked up those shoes and shrugged my shoulders, told myself that it was interesting that I had had the prompting to follow but to what fruit (?) and then I would have given the shoes away.  But not THIS man!  For FIVE YEARS he held onto the shoes!  FIVE YEARS!!  And surely the end of the story makes the five years all the more beautiful and magnificent.

God knew that the family moving next store would have their girls start to go to church.  And God knew that man next door so well, that when the time came to come to church He knew the man would be embarrassed to go to church in sneakers, thus stopping the man from actually following through with his desire to go to church in the first place.  SOOO Heavenly Father prompted someone to keep a pair of shoes.  (And what steps in the man's life who kept the shoes had he gone through, to be able to recognize and then act on a prompting of the spirit?! That in itself must be an awesome journey.)  That faithful man for five years kept the shoes... until the unfolding of God's masterful plan!  And surely there are so many more details to God's plan.... I am only stating the ones that I can see.  (And we know, that man's wisdom is nothing compared to God's.)

God knows us perfectly.  He knows our past, present and future.  What projects/promptings has He started five, ten, twenty, one hundred years ago to bring about sweet "fruit" in my/our every day life?!

Our journey started LONG before coming into our mother's womb.  God's plan was set in motion with Christ as our Savior, and all of us who have ever come to earth, shouted for joy at the opportunity to come to earth. We were joyful at the idea of being able to become more like our Heavenly Father.  More like Him in the fact we would get a body by coming to earth and have opportunities to grow and progress.  We would make mistakes here on earth, repentance needed and a way to overcome sin... because we all sin.  And the only way to return to live with our Heavenly Father someday is to be clean, completely.  Our Heavenly Father knew this, so in His perfect and infinite wisdom He provided a Savior, His only begotten son in the flesh, Jesus Christ.  And Jesus Christ, being prepared, but still having the choice to not be the/OUR Savior, came and chose to be obedient to the Father's plan.  Jesus Christ suffered and died, and then triumphed over the grave just so you and I could have the opportunity TO choose to follow Heavenly Father while here in the mortal state of our existence.... talk about thousands + years (we don't know with God's counting of "time") that God placed all these things in motion just for us to be here on earth, now and experience the things we need. ... How many "pairs of shoes" does Heavenly Father have stored for us in the closet of life?!!!  In the closet of the eternities?!  And how long have some of those shoes [blessings] been waiting for the right, specific moment?!  Well getting married to an eternal companion, will SURELY be one of those SWEET pairs of shoes, that I would suspect God, at least on my end has been working saving/working on my whole life, and maybe it started with ancestors and traits and stories of faith passed on....

God's closet of shoes must be HUGE!  I have choice blessings that happen each day.  Some in a moment, and some blessings [shoes] that I can see were prepared way before I ever received them!

So why a snail for Joseph Smith's quote of "When the Lord commands, do it"?  I walked out of the Condo this past year and found this little guy creeping across my sidewalk.  (I have to give him credit, his shell was quite beautiful, although I was in NO hurry to pick him up and take him home.)  But this little snail seemed to have the longest journey to get across a walk way.  A cement path I deemed as pretty smooth concrete, however when getting that close to the snail I discovered, as you can see in the picture, how rough and rugged the cement really was.  And to a tiny snail, surely the openings in the cement could not feel amazing to slide across.  (Is that what a snail does anyway, slide?! :D) That little snail, when viewing life at "his" view, although I deemed and walked the same path many times and praised my "smooth" sidewalks... once in the sight of his path, I was able to see that his journey was quite rough and rugged. How choice when God allows us to view someone's journey from their own perspective.

Everyone, even snails, have battles they are facing!  The little snail didn't give up! (After staring at it for a few moments, I think I saw it move one 1mm!  I know I at least saw one of it's antenna things wiggle!  ;) )

A man held onto a pair of shoes, too small for him, for 5 years, not knowing why.  

We never know what pair of "shoes" HE [our Father in Heaven] is preparing for the exact moment someone will need the shoes on their feet.

Truly when the Lord commands, DO IT!
BLESS God's SHOES!!
And bless the person who is "storing" a pair of His shoes!

"We don't believe in prayer..."

So what a title to start this blog entry with!  I know right!?!  I felt the same way when I heard my Bishop make the comment in Ward Council yesterday.  He did pause after he said those words, but here is his whole inspired statement.  "We [as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints] don't believe in prayer, we believe in mighty prayer!" --Bishop Karl Lifferth  

What a statement! And what a true statement.  The impact of his words sunk deep into my heart.  Truly we are a people who not only have greater insight to prayer, and because of that insight--are believers/users of MIGHTY PRAYER!!  (Check the blog if you can't read the text below.)

Nevertheless the children of God were commanded that they should gather themselves together oft, and join in fasting and mighty prayer in behalf of the welfare of the souls of those who knew not God. --Alma 6:6

 

Who [Jesus Christ] will gather his people even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, even as many as will hearken to my voice and humble themselves before me, and call upon me in mighty prayer. --Jesus Christ

And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me. --Nephi

And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens. --Enos

 True statements... and if I am not exersizing the right and knowledge of "mighty" prayer--what things may I be missing out on and not just for myself but those who I love and have any kind of stewardship.  Thank you Bishop Lifferth!

Another awesome reminder I was given yesterday was a by a guy that just moved into my ward a month ago.  His name is Jason.  He stood up to bare his testimony and said, "If we are not applying the atonement of Jesus Christ in our life, then we are not progressing." What a dead on statement.  So true.

Yesterday was a beauitful day.  Filled with so many miracles.  A friend on my committee came out and we did some visits that I had felt to do.  I had only asked him at church (short notice) to come out with me but he was more than willing to go on the visits.  It was awesome to go into homes and see him chill and loving the individuals.  It was uplifting and edifying.

Yesterday as I closed my fast in gratitude for a lot of blessings, I felt impressed that I needed to stop by a friend's house before the CES fireside.  In "reasoning" with God I mentioned that this perticular guy had not been to church in months and other then hello's during the holiday I had not really talked to him, although I had tried many, many times.  I wondered if I should give the guy the heads up that I was coming to see him, but I litterally felt to just drive to his house and invite him to put on his shoes and come with me to the fireside.  The fireside started at 6 and about 6:05 I got to his house.  He had just gotten home from work.  I told him there was a fireside and I was there to pick him up and have him go.  He hesitated for a moment, but I told him to grab his shoes and we would go.  He went and changed out of his work clothes, fixed his hair (out of respect for not wanting to wear a baseball cap into the chapel), laced up his boats and we were out!  We only caught the last 20 mins or so of the fireside talk, but I sat amazed knowing he had actually gone with me.

I dropped him off at his place and after a few hours of conversation, he mentioned how crazy it was that I had come over.  He said that God must have read his mind.  I inquired to him what he meant.  And he told me that in overcomeing something in his life, he has kept himself to himself and not wanting to get out.  But that this day, he wanted to "get dressed up and go out".  Shortly after those thoughts I was at his door.  And it didn't matter if it was a fireside, he recognized that God was answering a prayer he didn't even know he said (or at least not officially).  I just smiled and told him it had nothing to do with me--but that God loved him and made a way for him to "get out".  In texting the EQ President last night, he mentioned that he had felt to go invite and pick up the guy to go to the fireside--but seeing he would be late decided not to.  I did not fill him in that God had back up plans!!  If Plan A didn't work, I have no idea what number of plan B, or C, I was---but this I know-- God LOVES his children.  He LOVES US! He hears our prayers, and surely our MIGHTY prayers.

My life has been a little messed up.  So focused on the business of my career, which has been needed at this season of the year, but I have become a little complacent and not "mighty" in praying and truthfully not mighty in a lot of things: faith, trust, hope... and there has been a separation of not evening allowing God to use my life in the service of others, because of my complacent. So yesterday was a sweet reminder how much I LOVE being for HIM!  Truly, I don't want my life to be my own.  If there are lives to lift, to bless, to encourage, to cheer, to brighten, to listen, to smile and hug, I pray that if God needs a runner for any such tasks, I can live in such a way that He might request/prompt me.  I truly want to LIVE for HIM.

And in sharing this last bit--I speak nothing of myself.  For in me there are so many awesomely beautiful flaws.  Awesomely beautiful because they are reminders that I need to keep striving to becoming like God and relying on/keep seeking Him. Without him, I am truly nothing (as to my own strength, I am weak.) But WITH HIM I can be all he wants me to be!  And I have access to His help and assistance as I journey here below.

My cup is full.

I don't believe in prayer, I BELIEVE IN MIGHTY PRAYER!!  Oh to ever be applying the atonement of Jesus Christ to my life, not only to be made whole, but to progress--to journey and venture to Him helping me fulfill the measure of my creation. He really can do it!  After all that I can do, HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!

COME SHAKE IT!

So this is going to be awesome!! Citlalli had some kind Zumba Instructors say that they would donate their time and the Classic Skating Center also donated their building for free! There have been so many kind people who have put together a lot to help out with this fundraiser!

It was just a few weeks ago that Todor, Citlalli and a group of us went up to temple square to enjoy the lights. There were soooo many people and it was not the safest envorment for Todor to be around that many germs... but he stayed outside and we had a great evening!

Truly, I can't tell you all the miracles that have happened. $20,000 was raised in just two weeks in order to save some of Todor's Cells to do a Stem-Cell Treatment. Many more people have dontated so much here and in Bulgaria.... So this Zumba class is just one more way that Citlalli has thought of to help raise funds. I hope to be there! NOT to Zumba of course! (We all know how sad it is when I try to "shake it" but I will be there taking video and enjoying all the folks!)

If anyone is in Orem next Saturday, you would be welcome to join us!! 

FUN REUNION

So a few weeks ago I received a text inviting me to come watch some of my old young woman give sacrament talks in their ward. I was deeply touched and of course didn't want to miss the opportunity! It has been several ward changes and different callings since I served in young womens... but the girls were just as amazing as before and even more so!

It was amazing to hear their testimonies of Jesus Christ and their conviction the the gospel. It just so happened that one of the presidencies I served in--all of us in the presidency were present. I beamed with pride as I listened to them bare their testimonies. Nothing on my end, but truly can there be a sweeter gift to a past leader then seeing that the girls she loved so much, have still chosen Christ in their life?! It was a very sweet and a rewarding Sunday.

We decided that we needed to have a get together, so tonight was the night. We laughted hard and played a picture game, then exchanged our favorite quotes with each other. BAD x-leader--I kept the girls way to late and their poor parents have had to stay up all night waiting for them!

My heart is full. I really love these girls. Becca was able to come and we sure missed having Amy.. but we decided we will just have to do a temple trip all together.

Truly choice daughters of God.  It was a choice evening.  Thanks girls!!

AM I FOAMING?

So this picture is a bit silly--and it is missing Kiss, Tay, Nyk and Cars and the kiddos--but there is a LOT of love here!! The holidays were wonderful! Perhaps I can post some thoughts a little later on that. I LOVED having Christmas on Sunday this year. I would opt for doing it on Sunday every year for surely the spirit of the day was enhanced by attending and singing the songs that celebrate Christ's birth and life here on earth. It was magical.

BATTLE BEFORE THE DAWN
Yesterday I was back studying in the gospels and was impressed by the story of the man that brings his son to Christ for healing. (Matt 17, Mark 9, Luke 9.) The Father comes kneeling (Matt 17:14) before the Savior. I know there are LOTS of applications with this story. Beautiful ones... but the one that I was impressed with as I read last night--was the struggle BEFORE the deliverance/relief.

In Mark's version: "And they brought him [the guy's son] unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming." And Luke says: "And as he was yet a coming the devil threw him down, and tare him."

WELL ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH!! When I can see the "light" at the end of the tunnel, or I am on the path of coming to the Savior/willing to give up a weakness, addiction, a whatever-- "AS" I am yet coming... the devil and/or my natural man has a hay day and throws me down and tries to have one last attempt at taring me down. At breaking me so that I will not finish my journey/Commitment to Christ.

My great home teacher shared with me that his Mission President told him that the toughest struggles for someone will come right before their mission and right before getting married. Because so much good can come out of both decisions, why wouldn't Satan try his hardest to distract, tempt, lead away, discourage, beat down on the soul who is trying to make such a step?! Satan is no dummy. But either is our God!!

In Mark 8, the story of a blind man is shared. The blind man was brought to the Savior... and then an interesting thing happens. Christ who can do anything, "took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town;". Christ did not heal him right there in the city. And perhaps there it was too dangerous for him to heal in the city, so he took him out to be away from vultures who would try even harder to end his ministry... but the concept is beauitful. Christ HAD the power to do it then and there--but chose to lead him by the hand to a different place BEFORE healing him. There are times in my own life, where I know I can be healed, and I am at the feet of the Savior--but in HIS wisdom and Mercy and his perfect understanding which I usually don't comprehend or see--I am led on a journey to where I can be healed. Even if my healing comes in the form of just having my heart more concrete to Him--even if my infirmity/struggle is not taken away... my resolve and determination can be fortified and strengthened. Sometimes the burden is not taken off the back, but "The Lord shapes the back to bear the burden placed upon it." -- President Thomas S. Monson.

Christ can take us by the hand and even with our "blindness" lead us along to the place where he can heal us... whatever "healing" he has in store... not our will, but Heavenly Father's will be done...  

So many applications for life! As we turn to the Savior, as others help bring us to him, or we choose to head towards him ourselves--SATAN WILL NOT LET US GO WITHOUT A FIGHT! Seeing Christ enter into our life (meaning, us making the steps to come to him) Satan will be ticked off and will try to "tare" us and push us to the ground and have us wallow in the foam of discouragement, of frustration, the foam of bitterness, of doubt, or resentment or of pride. BUT the Savior can take us by the hand, even in our "blinded" state, and although he might not choose to heal us in the current area of our life, he will lead us to the place where he sees best to provide the opportunities to help us see what he would have us see.

So if you are on your path to the Savior, determined to hand over something that is not so GodLike in your life--be prepared that Satan is not going to let you go without a fight!!!  BUT FIGHT YOU MUST--FOR CHRIST WILL TAKE YOUR HAND AND LEAD YOU ON YOUR PATH TO GREATER HAPPINESS, DEEPER CONVICTION, AND MORE FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU... FOR ME! 

TUCKED IN PANT LEGS

Yesterday I stopped in a rush at Kmart to pick up something really quick. The lines were not too long  which I was grateful for because of course I was in a hurry.

As I stood in my line, I looked at the cashier one line over from me. The way Kmart set up their check-out lines, this cashier was basically standing in my line, just facing a different direction. I happened to glance down and noticed that his pants were tucked into his white socks and thought it was a bold style. Our eyes connected and I smiled/half winked at him to say hello. We didn't exchange words because he was already working with a customer but he acknowledged me with a smile back and I went back to getting ready to check out. The woman and man in his line asked him how he was. Very joyfully he thanked the couple for asking him how HE was and that many people don't ask such things. He then proceeded to tell them how great he was for it was Christmas.

I was very pleased to hear such an interation between sales associate and customer.  With the cashier's  comment of people not being very personal, for whatever reason I looked back at his pants again. But this time instead of seeing the bottoms tucked into the socks, I noticed that the pants were probably three of even four sizes too big of slacks. And they were being held together by a belt. They were black, and I hadn't noticed how big they were before.  My heart dropped. I don't think he was tucking the pant bottoms into his socks for style, but rather to hide how big they were. I was filled with more admiration, love and compassion for this cashier.  My mind seemed to play out several different reasons as to why he would be wearing such large pants...

The rest of my check out was fast. I finished my purchase and walked towards the door, but paused to get his attention.  I know, I was a little creepy I guess, but I waited for him to look over. Which he did and I nodded and sent him a smile. To which he lifted his hand to his brow, saluted me with a nod and smiled back. No words spoken... but I won't forget his optimistic, sincere cheer.  I walked to my car changed.

Sunday one of the speakers mentioned that charity is seeing someone at their full worth. Outside of the scriptures and President Monson's amazing talk on charity (click here) I don't think I have heard a more perfect definition of charity.  Perhaps Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom and mercy allows us random views/insights into people's lives to help fill in the areas of charity that we have not perfectly fulfilled yet.  Oh the gift to strive and plead for of being "quick to observe".  (Brilliant talk given by Elder Bednar and one of my personal favorites!  Click here to view.) 

I am so thankful God allows us moments to see into the lives of others.  Ever so brief at times, but my interaction with the cashier that wasn't even my cashier...  I most likely will never know his story.  But regardless of circumstances, his attitude reflected love and kindness.  What a great example he was to me! Lesson not lost.

My heart is full.

Three clips to bring the spirit!  The first one--may we all listen to the promptings/impressions of the spirit.  The second one was introduced to me by my friend Steve.  His pastor shared it with him.  The man truly "saw" others worth.  That can be said with the last clip too.







Merry Christmas!  Christ is the reason!

DON'T FAIL TO SEE...

This morning as I was getting ready for my day, I listened to this experience that Sister Menlove had with her grandchildren.  I remember hearing the story in General Conference, but I don't remember it being so profound.  I was touched.  She recounted:

A few months ago I had an opportunity to take a morning walk on a mountain trail with four of my grandchildren. We each brought a bag so we could collect treasures from nature. As we looked for pieces to put in our collection, we found many different colors, designs, and textures in the leaves and rocks. It was hard to choose. I soon noticed that the children’s bags were filling up. Each leaf the children selected was unique, but because it was late fall, most of the leaves had dark weathered spots, irregular shapes, or faded and discolored parts. Because of this, I was reluctant to add things to my bag. I was looking for a leaf that showed the brightest colors and had no flaws. If it wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t going to treasure it. But this meant that my bag had very little in it.

Later, as I thought about this experience, I realized that I had cheated myself of much delight and happiness that could have been mine. I didn’t appreciate the uniqueness of the objects because I was looking for what I had deemed perfection. My grandchildren had been wiser than I had been. They had savored the odd shapes and spots on the leaves. They giggled at and enjoyed the brittle crispness of the dying leaves, and they delighted in the soft, faded colors. They filled their bags with happy treasures to take home. We can fail to see and enjoy the unique happiness and beauty in each day if we are so focused on our desire for what we want instead of what the Lord has designed for us. (For full article click here.)

Now there is a lot to say of what am I "filling" my earthly bag with.  We are told that we are to go in search of a pearl of great price, and when we find it, we should sell all that we have to obtain it.  But I am thankful for this sweet reminder of seeing/finding the joy in life rather then seeking/only focused on the "perfectness" of something/anything!  I surely would have only placed the most beauitful and most perfect leaves in my bag as well!!  What if God did that?!  Only picked out the perfect and flawless children to communicate with/and or to love?  Well he would only have one Son in that bag, namely Jesus Christ.  But yet, I know that God treasures each of us!  Even with our unique flaws/imperfections.

Sister Menlove's story reminded me of a morning I had in May with Ms. Mia Bella.

It was cold, and cold, and lifeless, and did I mention COLD?! :)  Mia and I went outside to "see" what we could see.  No leaves, brisk wind, mud and dirt everywhere.  Needless to say the morning would not be counted as one of my top 10 beauitful mornings-- or so I thought!


Mia was running around and playing in the dirt.  Having such a fun time.  She would find an obstacle of sagebrush in her path and then only with the confidence that graces an adventurous two year old she would try stepping over the brush. It was fun seeing her confidently lift her leg and with a glance towards me that seemed to say, "Did you see how high I just lifted my leg?!" When she landed her footing successful, she would squeal and flap her arms in delight.  I was trying to be the responsible "aunt" in keeping her out of the more muddy spots, while allowing her the freedom of roaming around where she chose to.

Again, this morning was nothing to talk about for it was pretty bleak.  Or was it?

At one point I got close to the ground for kicks and giggles of wanting to capture the perspective of  a two year old footstep.  I captured a lot more than a shoe! 


My bleak/lifeless morning changed in an instant to breath taking yellow and gold spread splendor!  The ground was literally covered with hundreds of smaller than dime flowers.  They were EVERYWHERE!  Mia had discovered them before me! (The picture of her above crouching down is of her capturing one of the flowers.  If you look closely to her right you will see a littering of yellow. Click on the picture and you will see even better how there are flowers everywhere!) 

My morning changed!  Not because God put leaves on the trees and dried up all the mud.  But rather He allowed me to see, what I had failed to see... His beauty!  His hand! His sunshine! I expected to see it in the warmth of the air and in the hoped for "life" in the trees.  He however, had provided it just inches off the ground.

A guy on Sunday shared a quote that his mission companion shared with him.  "Perspective brings patience."  So eternal perspective, when viewing things as they really are--the "bigger picture" patience is provided.  Well my inches off the mud view provided a new perspective. As well.  Like Sister Menloves discovery of missing out in all the joy and treasures she could have enjoyed had she not be so focused on perfection, I too could have missed the most beauitful display/arrangement of sunshine right above the mud!

Perspective!!

A friend shared her despair as tears fell from her cheeks.  With life's changes she could not believe that God had taken so many things away from her.  I asked her if she had thought of all the things that Christ had done for her, to which she responded that she could not think of one thing he had done for her.  (It was like living Elder Oak's talk from General Conference for myself.)  My sweet friend, with tears of anger and tears of sorrow, grasped for any form of happiness, but sadly she was convinced that her happiness would only be found in her boyfriend coming back and her getting to "just live" her life how she wanted, without guilt or responsibilities.

I tried to share with her the hundreds of yellow flowers that marked and covered the path... but one must come to discover what is literately growing out of the "muds/hardships" of life for themselves.  She saw only what I saw at first... a lifeless, cold, bleak morning, and in bitterness and with anguish of soul her tears continued to flow.

My brother had a significant dream back in 2003:

"I had a dream a little while ago in which I was going to class when I began to feel quite thirsty. So I went to the drinking fountain and took a long drink, but as I did so I noticed that I couldn't feel the water in my mouth or throat. I drank again, again I felt nothing. Slightly irritated I got a large bottle of water and proceeded to empty its contents down in my mouth, I still felt nothing and I was becoming more and more thirsty. This was becoming quite aggravating so I left my class and found myself walking outside to a grass field which had sprinklers watering the lawn. I was sooo thirsty. So i went to the sprinkler and started to drink. Arrrgggg! Again I couldn't feel the water and I just go thirstier and thirstier. What was going on! As I was about to try the water in a near by gutter, I woke up. With an extremely dry mouth I got out of bed to get a drink. As I held the glass I stared at it for a while, trying to give it the impression that if I couldn't feel the water as I drank, it could enjoy being flung against the wall. I tipped the glass to my mouth and drank. YES! The water was cold against my throat, the thirst slowly dissipated. There are times in my life when I thirst, and I have found there are sources that cannot satisfy.  I am learning that there is only one true source for living water, Christ. He not only extends his water, He also pleads for me to drink. As I drink I am filled with his spirit and I find an increased capacity to feel and love. He knows how to quench my thirst because He too has thirsted like me. He causes springs of faith and hope in my driest times. He is the true fount, the fount of every blessing. I know He lives, loves and will lead me home if I will follow." -- Brytt Cloward

When we chatted it came down to the fact that she really did want to live her life the way she wanted to, and not have to keep commandments or put Christ in it.  The amazing beauitful thing about this life-- is that we can choose just to do that!  God will never force us to follow Him, or have faith in His son. But I echo the words of my brother that I too have found that there are sources that cannot satisfy.  And ultimately "there is only one true source of living water, Christ."

So I get to choose what goes in my bag!  May I fill it with the things that matter!  May I see what I couldn't see before in noticing the beauty of mud grown flowers!

To my dear friend-- God loves you.  And there is joy to be had even on seemingly bleak mornings.

May we see, what we couldn't see...!

Jesus lives!

25 DAYS

25 Days seems a fitting number...

I always ponder about this time of year. And I know it is like beating the same drum, but I can't help stop thinking about what CAN happen with someone this time of year. Sadly, I learned of a suicide of a young teenage girl last week on or right after Thanksgiving. I learned of a friend who has a few family members that have been also contemplating suicidal thoughts and at times quite struggle with who they are and their very existence. I am not to judge, for I know not their thoughts or their struggles. I know not the anguish of their soul or what Goliath is staring them down. I know not.

But this I do know...

There is a loving Father in Heaven who sent His only Begotten son to not only die for us but also to live for us! And at this Christmas season--wouldn't it be something if we chose to live for Him?!

At this time of year, if one will allow, one can be filled with joy, with more kindness, patience, temperance, understanding. Mens hearts can naturally be turned outward and there is NO LIMIT to the amount of good one can do during the holidays. There is NO limit to the influence. There is no limit to the hands that can be served. The smiles that can be given and the burdens that can be lightened. Satan KNOWS this! He knows because of the time of year it is--there is greater chance, that IF someone will reach outside themselves their influence/good acts/kind words could triple and multiply by 7 times the normal JUST BECAUSE of the time of year it is!

So, if I were the adversary and I knew all that one could do for Jesus Christ at this time of year... Why not put ALL my efforts, demons, devils, discouragement on an individual and just get them to focus on them looking in instead of looking out.  To focus on self instead of focusing on others.  IF I can just get someone to not care about the season and to be caught up in the business and the parties and all the obligations, the shopper rush, the longing/ the $$$ debt-- If I could just help cause them to forget the WHY behind Christmas... Well shoot!  I think I would make a pretty convincing plan for Satan to stamp with his approval of what to do with his Troops this Christmas! 

But it doesn't need to be that way.

I have read a few beautiful things in the last 5 days that have caused me great reflection.

"Our eternal happiness will be in proportion to the way that we devote ourselves to helping others" --George Albert Smith

"It is better to walk with God in the darkness than without him in the light." --Maria Speidel

... the Holy Ghost "satisfies and fills up every longing of the human heart, and fills up every vacuum.  When I am filled with that Spirit...my soul is satisfied, and I can say in good earnest, that the trifling things of the day do not seem to stand in my way at all.  But just let me lose my hold of that spirit and power of the Gospel, and partake of the spirit of the world, in the slightest degree, and troubles comes; there is something wrong.  I am tried, and what will comfort me?  You cannot impart comfort to me that will satisfy the immortal mind, but that which comes from the Fountain above.  And is it not our privilege to so live that we can have this constantly flowing into our souls?" --Eliza R. Snow (from Daughters in My Kingdom)

Jesus Christ shared with those recorded in Matt and Luke to "love your enemies, do good to them that hate you"... and He shared the same counsel with the Nephites when he visited them after his resurrection.  I think He is trying to help us see and make a point that we need to be loving!

But how can we love, if we are hating?  How can we bless if we are only cursing back? How can we do good if we close off our heart?  And how can we sincerely pray for those around us if we are not inclined to sincerely pray in the first place?  No wonder Christ gave such timely council!

I came across a letter that my mom shared with me back in 2006. It was a letter that Uncle Dave had written to Grammy dated July 16, 2006. He was sharing with her about Luke 18 and what it takes to be a profitable servant. He then started reflecting a little on a few areas of his life and wrote that, "...and occasionally [I] don't keep some of the commandments. (I'm usually okay with the Ten, but have occasional problems with the Two Great Commandments, such as wrong priorities, unkind thoughts and words, ect.)" !!!!

The TWO GREATS ARE:

• Love the Lord thy God with all your heart - NOT KEEPING = wrong priorities.
• Love your neighbor as yourself - NOT KEEPING = unkind thoughts and words, ect.

Brilliantly stated! Thanks Uncle Dave! (Ha you may not have known that your sister was sharing your stuff with her daughter--but now you do!  ;))

I have reflected over those words... what are my priorities!

President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“Jesus … taught us how important it is to use our time wisely. This does not mean there can never be any leisure, for there must be time for contemplation and for renewal, but there must be no waste of time. How we manage time matters so very much, and we can be good managers of time without being frantic or officious. Time cannot be recycled. When a moment has gone, it is really gone. The tyranny of trivia consists of its driving out the people and moments that really matter. Minutia holds momentous things hostage, and we let the tyranny continue all too often. Wise time management is really the wise management of ourselves”  

Time cannot be recycled!

SOOO --- 25 Days!
(Not that it should only last 25 days, but goals/habits are measured with marking points...)

I would like to issue a challenge to anyone who is up for it.  For the next 25 Days--LET'S work on a "birthday" gift for the Savior.  That is to:

1.)  LOVE enemies... 
Those we have grudges towards.  Those who we feel have wronged us so we, sometimes unknowingly, withhold our love from them. Those who are in the checkout line and take their own sweet time... :)

2.)  BLESS them that curse...
That could mean, driving with a smile when someone does less than considerate actions with their car.  Serving someone that it would be easy to keep on moving.

3.)  DO GOOD to those that hate...
Forgiving is a good thing to do. Being slow to anger is a good thing. Slow to judge... living with giving people the benefit of the doubt... Smiling especially when it is so natural to not to car/want to be noticed... Focusing on others, choosing to be happy/positive-- all GOOD things to do. 

4.)  PRAY for others...
In a time when Satan will strive so hard to tempt us with thoughts of ending our life- only focusing inward, dwelling on what we can't see/don't have rather than seeing all we do have... If Satan can tempt us to not pray, and especially for others because we have given up or just stop caring... I say he has a pretty good plan!! Prayers can MOVE mountains!  (The faith in one's prayers..:))

SOO--What will your gift to Christ be this year?  Will you give Him 25 days?!!!  Will you give Him, in the form of doing it to/for others-- LOVE, BLESS by serving/noticing/caring, DO GOOD and PRAYING?!

What a "Birthday" (in the time of year when the world celebrates his birth) gift we could give!

The choice is ours...!

25 DAYS!!!