Wednesday, February 25, 2009

"SINGLE" TESTIMONY!!

I finally got it! Well, at least I think. What I am about to reveal will be what I suspect a real “Duh” for most people, but like a testimony, this is now something I can claim and hold on to for my own!

My goal is to get to the temple before Thursday each week. If I put off going to the temple until Thursday, I find it gets harder and hard to go. A few weeks ago, I was having a particular hard week getting out of bed. I always shoot for Tuesday mornings, but this particular Tuesday, I had stayed up until 3 the morning and just did not hear my 4:30 AM alarm go off. So Wed, I had a girlfriend committed to go with me to the temple, and I surely would not sleep in when I needed to give her a ride. Wednesday morning, I opened my eyes to a 7:20 alarm clock! I was bound and determined to get there Thursday morning for any later in the week, there would be too great of power convincing me I was too busy and just put off going to the temple until next week. The justification would start. “This is just one time missing the temple. You can go next week.” (I have discovered that this type of thinking can come with going to institue/reading scriptures/saying prayers/attending all church meetings. I honestly feel -- “justification”--is a tool of the devil. But as some wise friend told me, you may be able to miss one day of saying your prayers or reading your scriptures, but don’t you dare miss two! After one day, the Devil already has a finger in the door. After two--perhaps a whole foot. Don’t risk it!)

Friday came and I woke up yet again after 7 am. What was happening!?! Seriously, anyone who knows me knows I am a morning person and a late night party pooper! I have a really hard time staying happy or perky after 11, ha, usually 10:30 pm. (I know I am somewhat pathetic). But you tell me I have to get up by 4 AM and I can bounce out of bed and go the whole day. (Garb will attest to this!) Now, I remind you I am single, and don’t have kids... so perhaps when I am drained and up all night I may turn into a night person instead.

Friday night, I pleaded with the Lord (like I had done the previous 3 nights). I told him that I didn’t have time to stay at the temple for 3 hours on Saturday because I didn’t wake up early, but that I needed to get their early so there would be no wait. But I also knew that I tried all week to get out of bed, with a plea in my prayers the night before. I went to bed with faith that the Lord would help me get up.

Saturday morning, I was awoken... I can’t tell you by what, but I surely can tell you by who! I popped my eyes open, didn’t even remember at first, that I needed to get to the temple. I actually got out of bed, no problem and it wasn’t until I was awake for a few mins did I realize the magnitude of the miracle of being awake! I hurried and got ready for the temple. I stepped outside to run to my car and found snow had covered the ground and the sky was still letting down a blanket of it. This is a picture that I snapped while walking up to the temple that morning.



There could not have been a wider smile or wetter cheeks of gratitude as I walked through those temple doors. HE DID IT!! He got me there! I think this is true in all aspects of our lives. When the Lord gives us a commandment, like Nephi, if we will move our feet/actions in faith, he will prepare a way for us to accomplish what he has asked/commanded us to do (3 Ne 3:7)!

7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

He got me to the temple!! And I had been sincerely trying all week. God is amazing!!

Okay, so yesterday as I went to the temple ( Yes, happy to be back on my Tuesday normal schedule) I went with Dad. As I stated in my last blog, I have been pondering over the struggles of many friends, even my own. It seemed like everyone was fighting personal demons this past weekend. As I walked through the temple gates and up the side walk, I pondered over what it means to be “single”. (Warning, what you are about to read is a “duh” I am sure for most people out there, but this was an awaking moment for me to be clued into that duh!)

I have had a mortal body for 26 years. A spirit daughter of my Heavenly Father for, I don’t know how long and before that, an intelligence that was organized (Abr 3:22). I know I came to this earth life to receive a body and have experiences that would try/test my faith so I can become more like my Heavenly Father and then ultimately I will be worthy to return home to him. And all of this is made possible because of my older brother Jesus Christ and his selfless atonement.

In this life, there is a goal to accomplish the principles and ordinances of the gospel. First faith in the Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. Second the need for repentance. Then third Baptism by immersion for the remission of my sins. And then the glorious fourth, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands (Articles of Faith #4). After these steps, comes the temple ordinances/covenants/endowment for me and for the past of the earth. Those that lived in this earth but did not have the opportunity to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Then, comes a marriage, sealed for time and all eternity in the temple--the Lord’s house. And of course none of this will stay valid unless I endure to the end. ...but I finally get it!

All my sister-in-laws and lots of my married friends always say, “Enjoy this time while you are single, because it will be gone and you will had wished you did more. I wish I would have done more with my single time.” No offense, but when someone married says this to someone single, someone without their own honey, that comment acts more as a sting to the heart then actual good/happy advice. I will be the first to admit that being single can be quite difficult at times. But my trip temple yesterday brought about the most amazing revelation/ah ha moment... again, for you married folks, I know you already know this! But I finally get it!!

Back to being an unorganized intelligence that was organized, to a spirit daughter of my Heavenly Father, born to my amazing earthly parents. I have gained the body and ultimately hope to end up with my own little family- to become one with my future spouse and live through all eternity with him by my side doing whatever God has/wants us to do in Eternity.

Here is the brake through to my heart and my brain. Being “single” is a SINGLE moment in the span of eternities. Just like when we draw a lie on the chalk board at church. (I don't claim amazing skills in word document... or maybe after this creation, I should! :D And please, I don't claim math skills, so this is obviously not proportioned right, but hopefully you get the idea.)



We usually think about the tiny mark representing how long earth life is, and everything we do on that little line effects all the rest of eternity! But what if we zoom in on that little line? There is a very short period of time when we can be single and powerful. Grade school, we are still learning to interact with the world. High-school is all about ourselves and trying to find out who we are. This attitude follows into college. But it is here, the time being single out of high school-- even when the stakes of school/getting an education- working- paying for bills is so demanding--even in the mist of all of those things... that time being single that gives us our moment to be one of God’s ultimate tools!!

Now please don’t read me wrong. I am the first to tell you that Motherhood is the most noble calling given to women on this earth. And my greatest goal (besides returning to live with Him) is to have a family and raise my children (how ever they come) to God so they can one day return to him too. But, for the first time in my life, I have a testimony of the power of being single! However long Heavenly Father intends that to be, I am not sure. I know there are many who have longed for a loving companion and are coming closer to the end of this earth life then the beginning of it, but for whatever reason, they have not been blessed with the gift of marriage. I know there are many who have been blessed with the gift of marriage but have not had the privilege of having a kind companion. Or there are some who have had the blessing, but now suffer from the effects of choices and the agency of others and are now back on the yellow line of being single. I know that God has plans for us all to be an eternal family, and I am confident he will get us to that destination in this earth life or after this life... “when” is a word in His knowledge bank, not mine. But what I do know, is that there is power in being single, willing and able! There is power in Him taking our (non attached lives) and doing good for others, by/through our singleness. We can be as Holland called the “earthly Angels”. Okay, and I have met many wonderful married people who are still earthly angles...and I surely don’t want anyone married reading this and becoming sad that they are not still single... this is not for you! :) But for all of my single friends, old and young--if we will be/allow it, GOD WILL MAKE US POWERFUL! And what a blessing it is at this time in our life--this short time of being single (whether 30 years to 90+ years) God uses his “singles” for good!

I probably run the risk of many people wanting to slap me with a “duh” and also those who want to slap me with the, “I am done being single Bryn”. Believe me, I can slap my own face for both sides, because I understand. But so amazing was the temple yesterday... just walking up to the doors and hearing all the birds sing... and being empowered with this testimony... “Single people have a great work to do!”

I left the temple with a smile. With an urgency. I may end up being single for the rest of my life... but I hold on to the hope that I eventually will get married, in this life or the next. But to be single, with a body for my spirit to work in--this is a short time--it is God’s time!! And I intend to give Him every min!! I can honestly say, I love being single!

(Tune into next week, where I am sure I will have a broken heart or a crushed “crush”--but I am going to hold on to this simple sweet-tasting testimony. There is so much to get done, for God, for the world, while in this moment of my singleness!)