Tuesday, July 27, 2010

FELT TO...

Last Thursday as I prayed about what to do with my evening, I felt to go to the stake center at 8 pm. Martha and Lester needed help setting up for their reception so I figured that is why I felt to go at 8 pm.

No one really was at the church. I walked around pondering why I was there. Martha text me and said that set up was at 9:30.

I went into the RSroom. I found the room flooded with the window light and an upright piano just calling out to me. I sat down and for several mins forgot everything and just played and sang to my hearts content. I looked at the clock-- 8:10ish and I felt a little guilty for playing for me when Thursday nights are my nights to work with others. I moved to leave, but felt to stay until 8:30. With that conformation I was tickled pink as the approval to play the piano was felt. I played and sang my guts off!

8:30--okay time to leave, but just one more song.
8:32--the hallway door opened and I could only make out the outline of a woman standing before me. A little embarrassed I thought it was a leader and asked if she needed the room. She started to close the door and about the same time I heard "Sister Cloward?!" I realized that it was Hannah standing in the doorway!

Meet Hannah! When I was in the Young Women's in the Deaf Ward, Hannah was a Beehive. This shot is from June 2007.

This shot is from Dec 2006. Hannah is the 5th one over from the right. This picture is actually in the same room I was playing in last Thursday. Notice the piano in the background. Well NOW Hannah is a very grown up 17 year-old Laural. I ran to give her a hug. We laughed over the fact that I was at the building randomly--and it was her young women's night, which was over, but she now was waiting for her brother.

We started to talk and Hannah mentioned that she was still taking piano lessons. I asked her if she would play anything. She said she couldn't remember anything... but then quickly said she remembered an arrangement she had made. She sat down and played me the following song. My heart stirred and I told her I had to run to my car to get my camera so that I could video her. Hannah was nice enough to humor me.

It was an honor for me to hear such a beautiful piece of music and especially coming from someone I love and admire so much. After she finished playing for whatever reason I felt to sing her my Sunbeam song?!! (Anyone who knows me knows I just don't sing for people.) But very nervously I sat down and played/sang for her.

We went out to the car. Hannah was just hanging around for her brother. I told her how I felt to come to the Stake center at the time I had. She said that when she saw me her thought was, "I hope I get to hear Sister Cloward sing". ?!! We then had a great conversation about revelation and how God does answers prayers. A few folks showed up for to help set up the reception. Hannah called and got an okay with her mom to stay and help set up.

While we were talking about revelation I felt I needed to go see Gavi. I asked Hannah if she would like to come along with me. She did. Together we went and visited Gavi. Gavi had just changed her cell phone number that day--and had we not gone over there I think I would have been out of contact for some time with Gavi. It was a miracle.

We went back to the church only to find nearly 35 of my ward members who had shown up to help set up the reception. (Seriously, I have the most amazing ward!) Hannah stayed around for a little bit, but in all honesty we were good on help so she left to go home.

I told her I wanted to put her song to some temple pictures... and within a day or two she sent me a recording of her song so I didn't have to use the one I filmed at the church. I LOVE the song!! Thanks Hannah! You are so great! And I know that God works through you!

So this past week... Davey and Mandi got married! Thank goodness for Rachel's big heart and her mom's amazing "reception" in a few boxes--stuff. :) With Rachel's expertise we had the RS room decked out pretty well. Davey and Mandi decided to not to make a big deal out of the wedding because they want the Huge party/recetpion to be a year from now when they go to the temple. Hearing how they came to this conclusion was amazing. Within a week and a half I saw God do a 180 with their thinking and ideas.

Their vows were given, and I can honestly say I have never felt the spirit so strong in a civil marriage before. Davey promised to keep the commandments and to do the things that God would have him do as a husband and a father. Mandi too bore a vow/testimony of her commitment to the commandments and to honoring God through her marriage. Cheeks were wet in the room. You would have had to have a complete iron heart not to feel the spirit as they both testified through their vows. Afterwards I went up and hugged Davey and asked him who had helped him write his vows. He looked puzzled and with a look like "was I suppose to have someone help me" he said that no one had helped him. Serious, this kid has only been a member of to the church for one month. He is bound for greatness!
Sam helped film the wedding and what a blessing! His camera has high definition video on it... and it just so happened he had enough juice in his battery to get the important vows and Bishop's counsel. Jaimie, showed up with some brownies and just wanted to support.

Honestly, this past week, I could not have been more touched by the services given by others.
Andrew is in the middle of Chemo treatments for Cancer and although I know he has no energy/much strength to his name, he helped set up the night before and came to the wedding. He doesn't let anyone catch on to how difficult his affliction of Cancer is right now, (and mostly because it fights it with a great positive attitude) but I was moved to tears seeing his selflessness. Vanessa made homemade brownies. Meg made cupcakes. Eve brought a pan full of warm brownies. Kristi took off work. Rachel brought her kiddos. Eric, help set up and take down. Jordan played the piano. Celeste brought Chocolate milk. Chelsea and Jong's helped set up the night before. JiHye, Paola and Rachel would not let Krist and I clean up alone. It was a good 5 hour process in the day--and I am surely forgetting someone who came and supported the wedding, but seriously my heart was deeply touched by people's innate goodness. Wow, so good. Mind you this day took place in a RS room that decided not to have AC.

This is little Sammi Sunshine! Her mom had the courage to bring her into the world. Prayed and fasted on what to do. Felt to keep her. All the mean while Sammi's Dad was deciding to change his life and give up some things. He did, and un announced to Sammi's mom Mandi--Davey read the Book of Mormon and started investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He completely changed everything. He wanted so badly to be a good father and to provide for Sammi. One little girl--miracles!!
Friday brought Martha and Lester's sealing. Most of the ordinance was done in Spanish. Bishop Madsen and I just smiled at each other. It wasn't until the end of the whole thing when we were all hugging Martha and Lester--that the impact of what just happened really hit them. The fact that they worked for a temple marriage and stuck with it even when wanting to give up--the emotion/gratitude and the significance of Jesus Christ's atonement was present. How beautiful, how clean and pure this sealing was. My eyes were wet as I embraced Martha. How proud of I am for her. It was beautiful.

Sat morning brought a move for Kat. And again, the support that came to help her move was overwhelming. It was choice.

SUNDAY morning
Gavi canceled having me pick her and her kiddo's up for church because she stayed over at her mom's house. I decided I would still go to my family ward and then go out and do some knocking to find if folks on my ward list. Before I left I felt strongly that I needed to put cereal in my bag. *Mind you I don't eat cereal right now, and I surely don't keep it in my bag. I was not going to need to entertain Gavi's kids, so I figured the cereal would stay in my bag for months. But so strong was the thought that I knew it was not from me. I opened a cabinet and found Cinnamon Life. I got a small container and put the cereal in it. (I thought about how bulky the little container was. :))

I also put 2 of dad's healthy bars into my bag. And with that I felt satisfied I had done what I felt to do so I ran off to church. The meeting was great and the spirit was present.

After the first hour was over, I went tracking. House after house and door after door/street after street. I found very little success. By nearly 12:15 I pondered over what I had done with my Sunday morning. But I could not deny that I had felt to go to the places I had. Back and forth in the boundaries of the family ward I am over... I felt to go and knock on each door.

Now you may think I am a little snotty, and perhaps I am. But I have a testimony that if I am on the Lord's errand, I truly expect for him to have people for me to meet or greet. I can find at least one reason in almost every thing I feel to do. Stake Center--to be blessed by Hannah's song. Singing for her-(She has just thought in her mind if she would get to hear me sing). Conversation on revelation and how God does answer prayers. Gavi's-I needed to have her new number. I was not sure what the tracking and cereal were for... but God's wisdom is ALWAYS best! He knows--and later I knew why too! ;D But regardless of what I know--if it comes from God, you just do it. Even if you don't see/can't see a reason why.

The last place I tried searching for the member on my list, the address didn't have an apartment number. So I decided there were only 4 doors that could be the right choice, so I went a knocking.

The first door, nope. The second door said nope, but I felt that it was the right house. But to be sure I went to the 3rd door. I found a man who lives in my family ward. (I say my family ward, but it is really the ward I have been assigned to as a missionary.) He invited me in as he tried to find out from his wife if she had any info on this 19 year old kid I was trying to locate.

The man told me about a family from Mexico that had just moved in next door and that they had a son who had recently become divorced and who was living with them. Just as he was telling me about the new neighbors, the son pulled up and he rushed me outside to meet him. I felt after a whole morning of what you would call in the mission "character building" because nothing else seems to be happening, I was suppose to meet Samuel at that very given moment. He gave me his number and committed to come to church the following Sunday. I even texted him later asking him his schedule for the week, and I was very happy to receive an answer back.

It was great reminder to me how great God is and his timing is everything.

I went to church rejoicing to find/get in contact with such a family.

Sacrament was amazing! Mundo spoke on how patience makes our faith stronger. It was a really good talk. The spirit was present. He talked about how God has faith in us to face our Goliath trials. He said that even our Godzilla trials although they are scary, God has faith in us and will help us meet the challange. Mundo is someone who is so busy, but serves so willingly. He never complains on the homework he is not getting done by serving. It seems wherever I turn, I find this man of God giving encouragement, hope through speaking positive and always, always using his hands. Whether it is in the kitchen or whatever. I never find Mundo idle. I love that about him! He is always serving.

Eric talked about loving those around us, even if they are different. And then we had a Seventy out visiting to check out our singles ward. The church is interested in how they can duplicate what is happening in our ward, to see if they can implement what is happening there into other singles wards and other family wards.

I not knowing, ended up sitting by his wife. His message was wonderful too... truly Sacrament was beautiful. Just the feeling of wanting to be better.

I went to Elder and Sister Rollins Marriage prep class. How tender both Elder and Sister Rollins feel towards each other. It is beautiful to behold such admiration. Such respect and consideration for another. I have attended that same lesson at least 5 times in the past year (it seems I can't make the six week course but I always make the lesson starting the six week course). And although I have heard the stories before, as they related some things in their marriage--both of their eyes were wet. What tenderness, what love they have for each other. Truly a marriage built on serving and holding your companion up as the highest thing possible is a beautiful thing.

Davey was to get the priesthood in Elders Quorum so I left class to find Sunil to take him home so I could make it back in time for Davey's ordinance. (I don't even know if getting the priesthood is considered an ordinance??--I will look into that.)

As I was walking to get Sunil I found Mandi sitting on the couch. I asked them what was up. Mandi did not feel good, so skipped class and was wanting to leave. She told me she was hungry. I smiled and told her I had just put a few bars in my bag that morning. She opened one and took a bite and made the comment that it was "healthy" (this being a kind way of saying it wasn't very tasty. ha ha) I then asked her if she liked cereal. She said she loved it. I told her that I had felt to put cereal in my bag. I reached out and gave her the container that had been sitting so awkwardly in my bag and asked if she liked "Life"- Cinnamon Life. Before Mandi could answer Davey shot out that that was her favorite type of cereal. ??! ! That is amazing. God is so good. (For the record, I NEVER have cinnamon life at my place, but just happened to have some... I know.. nothing just happens. :))

Well when I got back from dropping off Sunil, I checked on the couple. They were both alert and happy. The container of cereal was empty. :)

Davey receiving the priesthood was really, really good. And Mandi even stayed and went with me to RS for the first time!! Oh Yea for God wanting me to put some cereal in my church bag. It was perfect. His plans are always perfectly perfect!! (The catch for me is to follow through.)

I did a few things after church and then picked up Sam to go and meet Samuel. I felt that we need to go that evening. Samuel sounded a little annoyed that I was back. His mother went downstairs to get him and although it was in Spanish Sam translated to me that she was a "Latan Woman". I am sure Sam had to be wondering if it was such a good idea for us to be there--especially hearing the resistance, but by the end of the conversation with Samual and his 20 year-old cousin, Sam had built up a start of a friendship. They spoke in spanish and I just smiled and tried to pay attention. It was so good for Sam to meet them. God uses Sam to reach people. I really believe I will be seeing Samual this next Sunday. (It helps that he committed/okay with me picking him up for church too.)

And the rest of the evening was perfect. So perfect that Since then all I have wanted to do in my prayers is pray and praise Heavenly Father. Oh how I love Sundays!!

It is way to late to be up right now, and anyone who knows my schedule knows that I do not have time right now to blog let alone a lengthy one. But again tonight I felt I needed to post this. (I honestly can't picture someone other than my mom and dad reading through all of this. :)

OH I love God! I love his Son, Jesus Christ. I love the gospel.

I know that God communicates with us. Whether through a thought or an idea, a feeling or whispering--whatever it is... following whatever is given, I have found, is the best way to do what is given. And even if we don't know why we are doing something, if one feels to--just do it. :)