ARE THEY IN?!!!! --RATTLESNAKES--

Nyk called me up yesterday to share with me a dream she had had just yesterday morning. So profound is the dream that I asked her if I could share it. Deep is the meaning and there can be so many applications. Thanks for calling me up Chick! Love you!

--
THE RATTLESNAKE DREAM - Nykelle Pollastro - 9.21.10

I had a most amazing dream early this morning that I know was inspired by God. I have never had an experience like this, and have never had a dream where when I woke up, I knew the interpretations immediately, and felt that it needed to be written down and remembered.

Carson gets up for work at about 4:30 am, and I get up with him to make his lunch/breakfast. I was still extremely tired from the events this weekend, so I decided to go back to sleep for a little bit at about 4:50 am. When I went back to sleep, I had an amazing dream dealing with rattlesnakes…

I was living in my Uncle Paul’s [Mapleton, UT] house before the new additions had been completed, and it was as if it was my personal home. I had put Mia down in her crib for a nap, and had left somewhere to run an errand. When I came back through the back door up on the deck that enters into the kitchen, I noticed the double-wide screen door was wide open. I was nervous, and thought, “How did this happen?” I was also frustrated knowing I was going to have a lot of bugs/animals to deal with in the house. Immediately when I came in and saw two strange animals that looked like a cross between a very small Kangaroo and a deer. I shooed them out. I then tried to close the screen, and noticed that a huge rattlesnake was trying violently to get into my house. I could hear him shaking his rattle and saw his fangs. I tried as hard as I could to keep him out, but the snake was too strong and came into my home. Mia ran up next to me and as I was yelling at her to run away, the snake turned to bite her. I was able to grab the snake right behind its head and stop his fangs from sinking into Mia’s face. He in turn tried to bite me, but I was able to pull back. I remember thinking that it was over and there was no way we could live through this. I was able to grab the snake and toss him outside and shut the screen, but I didn’t lock it. As I continued in the house, I found 4 other rattlesnakes of various sizes inside our home, one which was entering through the small crack in the front screen door from not being locked.

As I was looking for the snakes, I realized that Mia somehow had gotten out of her crib. I found a 2 year old child who told me that they had gotten her out. I was sad to see that a 2 year old had been taking care of my daughter while I was gone. I noticed Mia had some marks on her face from me not being there, either from falling, or scratches from the snakes.

It took several hours to try and get all the snakes out. I called [my husband] at work and desperately begged him to come home immediately to help me get the rattlesnakes out. He was a little irritated that I asked him to come home early, and a little reluctant to do so. As I tried to push the snake at the front door out, he would keep creeping in until I locked the front door.

Finally, I was able to get all 5 snakes out of my house and drown them with water from the hose. After we were pretty sure they were dead, they were collected in bags. My dad came over later that day to witness the snakes, and I specifically showed him the huge snake that I dealt with first. He was amazed at the size of the rattle and the head on that snake.

I woke up promptly at 6 am from this dream, fascinated by what I had just experienced. Immediately when I woke up, I knew the meaning of the dream. I knew that the rattlesnakes were the temptations of Satan and the adversary getting into our home. I knew that because I hadn’t locked the doors before I left, that the snakes were able to get in. I knew that “locking” the doors was a symbol of prayers/scripture study/FHE for our families. And as I thought about how much time we spent trying to get rid of the rattlesnakes, my mind immediately thought of Moroni in the Book of Mormon and the time that he spent trying to solve the disputations/problems among his own people, and because there was so much time spent doing that and not preparing, the Lamanites had full advantage over them when they came.

I felt the extreme importance of having daily scripture study and prayer, and also fhe with our families. That is our “safety lock” on our doors for our homes and our children. Without that, we are leaving the doors unlocked in a sense for the adversary to get in and tempt and destroy our children and our families. We then shouldn’t be surprised if when we have taken a break from spiritual “locking” the door with prayer/fhe/scriptures, that our family/children are beset with temptations/problems/contention. We then have to spend our time trying to “get rid” of the adversary snakes in our home, which is time lost in preparing for future trials and temptations, which is why the snakes kept coming back in to my home… I didn’t have time to “lock the door” because I was trying to get all the other ones out. This teaches me the importance of daily study/prayer/fhe, and that we can never take a spiritual “break,” because once we do, we have just allowed the influence of Satan into our lives, and just like Moroni, we will spend our energy trying to clean up and get rid of the problems, instead of preparing for future battles. I also know that the 2 year old helping Mia represents other influences taking over when mom and dad aren’t there to teach and be the correct influence, or when they are not taking the time to teach their children… the teachings come from some other source that will never be as good. Mia’s scratches/bruises on her face represent the results of the influence of the 2 year old, which shows the destruction that can come from outside influences.

I was shocked that this insight came so clearly and that I understood it so well, and knew the interpretation. I have faith that this was inspired of God, and that now is the time for me to fortify my family against Satan DAILY.

As and after Nyk shared this with me, so deep was the impression on my mind. I shared her dream with a friend which commented how this is a pretty powerful parable. True, true!

The truths that came with all of Nykki's insights - when times get worse, all the ugly stuff/temptations "Rattlesnakes" will always be lurking outside in the world. They will always be around and even hiding in the bushes of our homes. But if we do not allow them to come in, we can and will enjoy peace and safety inside our homes. Not naive from the dangers that loom outside, but ever confident that our homes are safe harbors and places where fear and terror for the enemy is not present because we (our homes) are fortified with faith in God.

Nykki--thank you for sharing your dream with me! Thank you for being sensitive enough to know that it came from God!

MANTI TEMPLE

On Saturday for the first time in my life I went and did a session at the Manti temple. I don't know if I have had quite an experience like that in the temple. It was WONDERFUL! Not only was everything beauitful and in order--but I could not help but ponder over the fact that this temple was where the Doug and Judy Cloward Family began. My mom and dad were sealed for time and all eternity, making sacred covenants and vows to one another and to God in that holy house. I wish I would have found out what sealing room they were in--next time.

The temple was beautiful inside. The pictures and the things unique to that temple--absolutely breath taking. It was like experiencing the beauty of the SLC temple for the first time. Something about these older temples and the personal sacrifices that went in to building them. The experience was sacred and I could not help but weep. Weep for joy and gratitude for my parents who decided to have the courage and the desire to follow God. Who are still striving to always retain/remember their temple covenants. I am told that marriage even with the right person is a work. But how grateful I am that they are working at it. The experience was very sacred for/to me.

The woman that I went through with, her last ordinances were preformed in 2004! My heart broke over the fact that she had had them started 6 years ago, and now in 2010 she was finally having her work done for an endowment. Oh how much work there is to do. And yet the temptation to be idle, or just self deluded/focus is amazingly great.

How thankful I am for temples of God! How much HE loves us. How much he trusts us!?! (Sometimes it is a little frightening just how much he believes in us.) :)

Jesus is the Christ.

Weekend To DOs:
Discover if I have allowed any Rattlesnakes to come in - GET THEM OUT!
Lock my doors
and the Relief Society BROADCAST!!!!!!!!!!! And then next week is General Conference. Seriously, this and the first weekend in April = MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR!!

COOL SCRIPTURE!

I finished The Book of Mormon challenge with Nyk and mom! I was really shooting for 30 days, but ended up doing the goal of 40 days. I love that book! Nyk and mom are now addicted to reading it fast, but I am going back to my pondering/reading mode. :) This scripture in 4 Nephi really stood out to me! I don't recall ever noticing this phrase before but it is profound. Believers in Christ and worshipers of Christ--! How amazing! How deep. This is what I want to be for sure! It is one thing to believe in something, but to be a worshiper OF something, I had better show it through word, deed and thought.

Ali shared her RS lesson that she gave a while ago. It was amazing!! Click here to read her blog. Ali, thank you for posting it! I have thought over and over of the things you shared with me. Great truths!

Tomorrow is Sunday! Tonight is adult stake conference, I can't wait!

DIRECT COURSE

I just love Alma's words--

"...never be weary of good works...be meek and lowly in heart...O, remember, learn wisdom... cry unto God for all thy support...let all thy doings be unto the Lord...let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord...let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good...at night lie down unto the Lord...risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God..." (emphasis added.) Alma 37:34-37

God really wants us to communicate/commune with him! He is surely not hiding his face.

I am embarrassed to say, I am pretty sure that I have always read verse 36 with the word in my mind of "afflictions" of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever, not "affections". TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORDS!! And although I do believe God wants me to place my afflictions on him-- affections means = feelings! Such beautiful council to me.

A few verses of reminders of why we don't give up on our journey. If I feel my path is not being direct, I must take heed and do a self check to see--have miracles wrought by the power of God ceased in my every day life? I am promised that I can have them daily, (vs. 40). If they have ceased, it is not because God has stopped being a God of miracles, but I have ceased "being" for God.



What transgressions?! Being slothful (is that the same thing as just forgetting to call on God...)forgetting to exercise faith--I am all about a direct course! :)

I am thankful for the atonement that allows me to get my life back in check. And by small and simple things--great things can and do come to pass!

The amazing Monica told me at the temple this week how God does extraordinary things by humble circumstances---a God was born, the son of God, laid in a manger. A compass that can show the way and have writings on it--just a humble ball of medal--but extraordinary things came to pass. Girls and guys go out, with not that much education--extraordinary things come out of their mouth, and yet they are just a means of a 19/21 year old. The Book of Mormon an extraordinary book brought about by journal entrees etched into metal. God our Father and Jesus Christ (extraordinary visitation) apear to a boy of 14 and call him by name! After baptism and receiving the gift of the holy ghost, I can be completely cleansed for the week by participating/partaking of the sacrament. Extraordinary things happen in/through/by humble means!

So it can be with my life. If I will remember to exercise faith and be diligent, God can do something extraordinary with my path and my course. I need not be wondering in a wilderness, thirsty and hungry for blessings/revelations. God has an oasis that he is willing to share with anyone who will come! A direct path for me to trod, and miracles to be had daily. They are mine for the taking, Oh if I will commune with God! Oh if I would council with him in all my doings--for I do want to be directed to do and be good works continually. Does this mean I always get a finger writing on the wall to tell me where to step and when to turn left or right? No of course not. God wanted me to come to earth to learn how to use my agency. But I do believe, if he has an opinion on something, and I have faith enough to ask, he will impress me with whatever. And when he puts it back in my court-I will just move forward, go and do, and trust/have faith that if he needs my feet/service/attention somewhere else, he will let me know.

OH what a good morning with Alma. I do love that man. Because he has sons, he is already taken. But maybe in the here after I can see if he has an available brother! ;) Ha ha, just kidding, (kind of! ;))

The church is true!

After thought:
I just posted this, and went about my day when it dawned on me the words used in verse 37 of Alma 37. "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good..." We are told to counsel with the Lord in ALL our doings. Counsel is to = advice; opinion or instruction given in directing the judgment or conduct of another. We are not told we will have a, "do this or do that" comment back from the Lord, but we are promised right there that HE WILL DIRECT us for GOOD! What a promise! I surely can put all my money in that bank! I do want to be about good, and whether he verbalizes/uses the spirit to prompt or just lets me go on my own, I can bank on the fact that I WILL be directed by him FOR good! What an awesome promise for just counseling with the Master Councilor. Again, extraordinary things come out by the means of just being on our knees. God is good!

BE HIS

I received a text on Sunday morning asking if I would teach etiquette and dinner conversations to the Deaf Ward youth on Tues night. My First reaction was "heck no" however the spirit was quick to press to my mind that I needed to teach. Ask anyone in my family, when it comes to setting the table, I just get a letter grade of F! Maybe a D+ on a good day, but for the most part I can never remember which side the cup goes on or what side the fork goes on. Me teach etiquette, quite a joke of a thought.

And then dinner conversation?! Boy, the angels must have had a good chuckle when I texted back, "sure I will".

:)

In preparation for the evening, Tues I woke up and went walking. I flipped my ipod over to the Young women General conference presentation. I listened to a great talk, and then listened to the music played in a special presentation done at that event. The chorus to the song talked about being strong and of good courage. I enjoyed the music as I had not ever heard it before. And then, towards the end of the song, I heard it sung, "be His". The words stopped me dead in my tracks. I played that part of the song over and over. I have a list of a 100+ be's to be, but never have I heard the be to "be His". I LOVED IT! My eyes became moist as I thought of the girls and my opportunity to teach them.

Then right before I left work, I opened up an email from uncle Paul. There was a painting (the one at the top) in the email and a letter from the artist explaining his piece.

9 August 2010

The artist said:
"This painting was unique from its very beginning. It would be great if I could take credit for the composition and message it conveys but in my mind, that would be like Moses taking credit for bringing water from the stone in the desert.

"Usually when I have an idea for a painting it starts as a simple seed and it grows as I play with the image in my mind, moving the characters around, imagining the lights and shadows, the values and the colors, eventually deciding on its composition after what might be weeks or even months of pondering and sketches, but this painting was different. There was no seed, no moving of characters, it was totally different.

"I was sitting in church on a Sunday afternoon as the Sacrament was being passed and bang, there it was, the image was instantaneously placed before my mind's eye just as you see it here. This experience has happened to me only three times and it has been very special each time." --Doc Christensen

For the past two months I have been trying hard to ponder on the Savior during the preparation and participating of the sacrament. Confession, I am guilty of that being the time I am pleading for help or pleading for whatever I am in need of that week. But I have wanted to focus so badly on just Jesus Christ. When I saw this picture, I was moved. I love the look of each family member as they realize or see who is passing their sacrament. I thought I might like the picture better in black and white, but nope--it is perfect the way it is.

Looking at the picture is how I want every time I take the sacrament to be. So beautiful and sacred, and the Savior, suffered/loves me perfectly.

... And thanks to this artist Doc Christensen who followed an impression to paint. I love it!

The evening with the yw and ym went great! All my old girls that I used to teach 2 years ago, are all grown up and even more beautiful inside and out then I could have imagined them. I was grateful for the experience. As I pulled up to the church, Bishop Larson pulled up next to me. Seeing him and his family always does good for my soul! God helped me teach two subjects I am lacking in. He was very kind.

Our Heritage Makers reunion was a great sucess. So many amazing people to meet and see. It was truly a week of miracles and of God.
Meet Jeremy! This is Patti's son. By being around him last week and seeing how positive he was, even with 110 degree heat, put me in my place. By the end of working with him I was/am bound and determined to be a better person. Jeremy really has a good heart. And I love that he is a hard worker. I LOVE people who know how to work! It is a big deal for me.
Speaking of hard workers, each of these women at some point last week made me want to cry. How is that I am blessed to work with such women!?!

Starting with Debbi on the left. She is very organized/blessed with the gift of having it all together.

Then there is Marin, our HM designer. I can tell you I have never enjoyed working with a designer as much as I have enjoyed working with her. Before reunion I had a couple marketing ideas to be sold at reunion. Instead of her trying to sell me on why her design was good and how she would not budge (this is an example of past designers I have worked with, not an example of her), she constantly would ask me if what I was looking at was what I envisioned. My projects turned out because one, God is amazing and inspired some pretty cool items to create, but two because her heart is so willing to design to what people envision. Ego is not to be found in her. I love working with her.

On my left you will find Susan. She is Don's (our director over marketing and creative) wife. She didn't get paid for being there, and yet didn't mind. She said she just likes being around the consultants and hearing the new things. She and her husband are great folks. Not only is Susan a hard worker, she is fast! I loved working with her in the store.

Then Jen, is next to my right. I have found in her someone who loves God. She is so willing to serve. By the end of the week, and this banquet we were all exhausted from early mornings, late nights and little, if any sleep. Four straight days of this heavy schedule, but there was Jen after banquet already with her gown off so she could start packing all our presentations up. Love that girl!

And then of course, last on the right is Patti! My Boss, and mission blessing!

I hope she won't mind me sharing this... but before reunion there was a night when her son had quite the episode and left the house and started to walk but not in a right state of mind. Patti followed after him wanting to make sure he would be okay and to help calm him down. A few miles they walked, each with no shoes, in the middle of the night. When Patti felt she had done all she needed to do to calm down his thinking, she called her husband to come and get her and to bring her son's shoes to him so that he could wear them.

Her son was complaining to me how messed up his feet were with walking two miles without shoes and blamed it partly on Patti. ... what was so tender to me was the love of a mother. Little thought did he give to his mother's feet who where all cut up and a little raw--feet that had a big week ahead of being stood on and in uncomfortable shoes all day long for four days straight. But Patti never complained and didn't say anything. She told me the story right after we had devotional one night. She had just mentioned her feet being sore and cut up. I drug the story out of her. Patti went off to bed, and I went into the bathroom and on my knees cried as I prayed. Oh the love of a mother. Oh to us kids that have no idea the sacrifices and love our parents show forth. My own mom and dad always giving so much with no return of anything--at least usually.

I love Patti. I love my parents. Oh to the moms and dads out there who don't give up on their children and their sometimes (and sometimes often) stupid acts of agency. Nyk had quite a team in AZ. She hit Gold Director in Heritage Makers! Lots of women asked me how she was doing, and I was straight with them. Nykki is the most amazing woman I have ever met with covenant making with the Lord. When she gets a go a head with partnering with God with whatever--NOTHING can stop her from achieving it. I am sure for the Nephi in us, I would have gone back one and maybe even twice to get the brass plates, but three times? I think I would have written off the second time of, "I tried, and that must have been the test because it didn't work." But not Nyk. If she gets the okay/go a head from God that what she is about to do, or is perusing is okay--she puts all of her money in the bank and KNOWS that God will do his part. I learn a lot from this awesome little sister of mine! Little, because physically she is, but her spirit is a giant!

Does anyone know what type of tree that has flowers like this!?!?

This is my biggest regret of last week. I would walk past this tree oh, maybe 10 or so times a day. And when the blossoms are open, they make a perfect tight little star. This is a picture of the blossoms the morning I left. They were not quite open into the tight little star... but every day I would walk by this tree and every time I did I would look up to admire the stars. Lots of the flowers come to think of it at the resort were star shaped. Every time I looked at them, they made me think of God. A new star led the way for the wise men, and like the saying at Christmas time, "wise men still seek him". I want to be a wise woman and seek him always and forever.

This week on the "alter" I had the thought that I needed to place my heart before God. That meant that I was in for something that was going to break my heart. As I have been pondering this all week, really, I just want to do what God would have me do. Serving him and seeing people come closer to him is I think, the greatest joy I could experience at this time in my life. I am constantly amazed at the Christlike people that are planted in my path.

God sure does like to spoil me! And if I will follow him, he will not lead me astray.

My prayers have become more plead filled for asking for him to make me a tool. I don't want my will, or rather I want my will to become his will for me. He knows what is best. He never forsakes us or leaves us alone. He is my rock! He is salvation! He is hope and peace in the mist of a storm. In Him, I will put all my trust.

BE HIS!

This is what I want and will work on.

God is good. :)

CHANGE

change: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone:

God is definitely wanting me to becoming something different because my life is not to be left alone. Nor would I want to be left alone. :)

Nephi and his family as soon as they landed in the promise land they fasted in gratitude to God for bringing them to their destination safely and I am sure for a whole lot of other gratitude feelings. Today I fasted to in gratitude for the chance to be in the Provo South Stake. It all started back in 2005 after leaving a sacrament meeting in the Deaf ward and having a friend ask me to join the ward. I shook my head and said that I wasn't deaf and didn't have any deaf family members. But she said the bishop was new and I should try to join the ward. I went out to my car not giving it a second thought, but while in my car, the spirit told me to go back in and talk to the bishop. That decision started a chain reaction.

I was able to be over the sunbeams. Then I was blessed with a choice calling in YW's and worked with two amazing presidents. Lynn Snarr saw something that I could not see in myself, and had the courage/faith to put me as a councilor. Then Becca took over and had the faith and courage to keep me as a councilor. Oh the things I learned from both of these women.

Then a singles ward was formed and Becca's husband Ben Larson, was made the new bishop. Our stake president asked all the young singles to go and support the ward. I do believe in being obedient to my leaders. I went and--the choice blessing unfolded. I have never worked with such worthy priesthood holders in such a way. The last two years of the East Bay 3rd ward has been life changing.

All of these choice blessing because Heavenly father wanted me to "change" up which ward I was attending.

Well, that time for "change" has come yet again. This week in the temple after trying to discern/get over a horrible dream--by the time I left the temple, I knew I was to change wards/stakes. Never have I even given this much thought! Why would I leave the very thing that has helped bring innumerable blessings and choice people into my life?!!

However, I know in whom I trust.

Today was my first day at my new ward. The most beautiful LDS chapel I think I have ever been in. (Granted I haven't been in a TON, so this isn't saying much, but with the choir tours and the mission, I feel I have had a good exposure to different buildings. ;)) Stain glass windows and murals in the sacrament room--breath taking. In a way it was like being in an older temple with all the custom work. Such work brings another level of devotion and spirit to the whole experience. I sat in aw as I looked at the handy work (basically the handy work-to/in devotion to god)--it was beautiful.

Going to this new ward, and leaving behind the one of the choicest blessings for me of my old ward and the people associated with it, was a very sobering one. It has been a tear filled week.

My new ward is great, and everywhere I turned today I found powerhouses for God. I am not sure what I am suppose to accomplish or rather the things God would have me learn--but this I do know that all the past changes in my life that God has led me through, in the end, I always finish out that "change" with a day of fasting in pure gratitude for what God has done for my life. That was my fasting today.

To all those that have influenced my life in the last several years--I am in debt. Choice, choice brothers and sisters. Choice friends and people who I want to aspire to become more like when I grow up. I am counting my blessings by the buckets full. So grateful I am for the time I have been given to be in the Provo South Stake.

John Bytheway made the comment that Nephi said he will go and do. Not sit and stew. I have no idea why this needed change, but I will not sit and stew. I will go and do.

Change. Nothing like baptism by immersion!

"THE LORD USES US BECAUSE OF OUR UNIQUE PERSONALITIES AND DIFFERENCES RATHER THAN IN SPITE OF THEM."

Filling the Measure of Your Creation

I've often wondered of the struggles that may have plagued the mind of Moses when the Lord asked him to leave his royal privileges and position in order to serve him in abject poverty and meagerness. Contrast his mission with the Lord's design for Joseph to stay in Egypt, to use his power and prestige for righteous purposes. Apparently Jeremiah was never given the blessings of marriage or children although Jacob had the comfort and companionship of four righteous women and many children. Joshua seems to have been an incredibly confident, charismatic, take-charge kind of leader, but Moses was often reluctant and tentative and sometimes had to ask the Lord twice for directions. Each had a crucial--but very different--role to play.

Furthermore, age seems to make little difference in the diversity of this tapestry. David was a Mere child when he deftly dispatched Goliath, but Abraham was more than one hundred years old when he gave us the supreme Mortal example of faith and obedience. Esther had the wealth and attention of kings, giving her the opportunity to help save a nation, whereas Ruth was a poor, unaccepted Moabite--but one whose royal blood, ironically, carried the lineage of the Son of God himself. The Lord uses us because of our unique personalities and differences rather than in spite of them. He needs all of us, with all our blemishes and weaknesses and limitations. --Holland, Patricia T. January 17, 1989

I heard this speech from an MP3 a few weeks ago. BRILLIANT! So true, and so encouraging.

"He needs all of us, with all our blemishes and weaknesses and limitations."

How comforting to know He can still use me, US! None of us our perfect. But he knows how to perfectly use us.

Jesus is the Christ!

Believe!

TO THE RESCUE!!!!

So yes I am a bit slow in my challange to finish the Book of Mormon in a few weeks, but I will get there! Early, early to rise it has been! :)

Mosiah 21:5 was very touching to me tonight.

And now the afflictions of the Nephites were great, and there was no way that they could deliver themselves out of their hands, for the Lamanites had surrounded them on every side.

Their afflictions were brought on because of their iniquities. King Noah setting a bad example, killed the prophet Abinadi, and allowed his people (with great encouragement by his own example) to have/live iniquities. Later when King Noah is killed in fulfillment of Abinadi's words... the people start to repent. But their prior choices have led them to be surrounded on every side,.

How often do the choices I make (if following my own carnal desires/natural man) lead me to a place where I can not deliver myself, there is no possible way and that the temptation/burden/enemy/has surrounded me on all sides?? This is a plead for VISITING/HOME Teachers if I have ever heard one!

Limhi's people, who were now striving to be a God fearing/loving people, because of past choices could not deliver themselves. But how sweet and kind our loving Heavenly Father has set up a trumpet and perches faithful home and visiting teachers who can sound a warning/guidance through an ensign message, who can be on the look out for danger to come, or perhaps are sent at the time that someone is in need of delivering, who cannot deliver themselves!! What a beautiful/profound, true scripture.

Now lest someone read this and think I am an AMAZING visiting teacher, I tell you I have had my fair share of sleeping on the trumpet of that duty. But I do believe in what home and visiting teaching can do.

Along with being delivered the other reminder came to my mind--is that we ALL are in need of the Savior. For we all at times are surrounded every side, no way to deliver ourselves. How we may try, if we do it alone--and that's just it--we can't do it alone. As hard as we try we can never do this life alone. We can't be delivered from our appetites and passions, we can't be delivered from death, from hell, from temptations without the Savior! And sometimes he sends us our deliverers in the form of a home teacher and visiting teacher. May we be so blessed to be on that errand.

There is NO WAY without Jesus Christ. (Thank goodness he has provided a Way through the atonement. We can be released from the jaws of hell and the awful monsters that threaten to destroy. A little mellow dramatic? To anyone who has ever felt there is no way out, no way for deliverance because one is surrounded on every side--any form of the Savior whether through a scripture, a song, a home/visiting teacher, a kind act...someone doing something for you that you can not do--is truly a tender mercy from God.

To the Rescue my God will come! And may I be worthy to be sent to the rescue if he so would have me.

FELT TO...

Last Thursday as I prayed about what to do with my evening, I felt to go to the stake center at 8 pm. Martha and Lester needed help setting up for their reception so I figured that is why I felt to go at 8 pm.

No one really was at the church. I walked around pondering why I was there. Martha text me and said that set up was at 9:30.

I went into the RSroom. I found the room flooded with the window light and an upright piano just calling out to me. I sat down and for several mins forgot everything and just played and sang to my hearts content. I looked at the clock-- 8:10ish and I felt a little guilty for playing for me when Thursday nights are my nights to work with others. I moved to leave, but felt to stay until 8:30. With that conformation I was tickled pink as the approval to play the piano was felt. I played and sang my guts off!

8:30--okay time to leave, but just one more song.
8:32--the hallway door opened and I could only make out the outline of a woman standing before me. A little embarrassed I thought it was a leader and asked if she needed the room. She started to close the door and about the same time I heard "Sister Cloward?!" I realized that it was Hannah standing in the doorway!

Meet Hannah! When I was in the Young Women's in the Deaf Ward, Hannah was a Beehive. This shot is from June 2007.

This shot is from Dec 2006. Hannah is the 5th one over from the right. This picture is actually in the same room I was playing in last Thursday. Notice the piano in the background. Well NOW Hannah is a very grown up 17 year-old Laural. I ran to give her a hug. We laughed over the fact that I was at the building randomly--and it was her young women's night, which was over, but she now was waiting for her brother.

We started to talk and Hannah mentioned that she was still taking piano lessons. I asked her if she would play anything. She said she couldn't remember anything... but then quickly said she remembered an arrangement she had made. She sat down and played me the following song. My heart stirred and I told her I had to run to my car to get my camera so that I could video her. Hannah was nice enough to humor me.

It was an honor for me to hear such a beautiful piece of music and especially coming from someone I love and admire so much. After she finished playing for whatever reason I felt to sing her my Sunbeam song?!! (Anyone who knows me knows I just don't sing for people.) But very nervously I sat down and played/sang for her.

We went out to the car. Hannah was just hanging around for her brother. I told her how I felt to come to the Stake center at the time I had. She said that when she saw me her thought was, "I hope I get to hear Sister Cloward sing". ?!! We then had a great conversation about revelation and how God does answers prayers. A few folks showed up for to help set up the reception. Hannah called and got an okay with her mom to stay and help set up.

While we were talking about revelation I felt I needed to go see Gavi. I asked Hannah if she would like to come along with me. She did. Together we went and visited Gavi. Gavi had just changed her cell phone number that day--and had we not gone over there I think I would have been out of contact for some time with Gavi. It was a miracle.

We went back to the church only to find nearly 35 of my ward members who had shown up to help set up the reception. (Seriously, I have the most amazing ward!) Hannah stayed around for a little bit, but in all honesty we were good on help so she left to go home.

I told her I wanted to put her song to some temple pictures... and within a day or two she sent me a recording of her song so I didn't have to use the one I filmed at the church. I LOVE the song!! Thanks Hannah! You are so great! And I know that God works through you!

So this past week... Davey and Mandi got married! Thank goodness for Rachel's big heart and her mom's amazing "reception" in a few boxes--stuff. :) With Rachel's expertise we had the RS room decked out pretty well. Davey and Mandi decided to not to make a big deal out of the wedding because they want the Huge party/recetpion to be a year from now when they go to the temple. Hearing how they came to this conclusion was amazing. Within a week and a half I saw God do a 180 with their thinking and ideas.

Their vows were given, and I can honestly say I have never felt the spirit so strong in a civil marriage before. Davey promised to keep the commandments and to do the things that God would have him do as a husband and a father. Mandi too bore a vow/testimony of her commitment to the commandments and to honoring God through her marriage. Cheeks were wet in the room. You would have had to have a complete iron heart not to feel the spirit as they both testified through their vows. Afterwards I went up and hugged Davey and asked him who had helped him write his vows. He looked puzzled and with a look like "was I suppose to have someone help me" he said that no one had helped him. Serious, this kid has only been a member of to the church for one month. He is bound for greatness!
Sam helped film the wedding and what a blessing! His camera has high definition video on it... and it just so happened he had enough juice in his battery to get the important vows and Bishop's counsel. Jaimie, showed up with some brownies and just wanted to support.

Honestly, this past week, I could not have been more touched by the services given by others.
Andrew is in the middle of Chemo treatments for Cancer and although I know he has no energy/much strength to his name, he helped set up the night before and came to the wedding. He doesn't let anyone catch on to how difficult his affliction of Cancer is right now, (and mostly because it fights it with a great positive attitude) but I was moved to tears seeing his selflessness. Vanessa made homemade brownies. Meg made cupcakes. Eve brought a pan full of warm brownies. Kristi took off work. Rachel brought her kiddos. Eric, help set up and take down. Jordan played the piano. Celeste brought Chocolate milk. Chelsea and Jong's helped set up the night before. JiHye, Paola and Rachel would not let Krist and I clean up alone. It was a good 5 hour process in the day--and I am surely forgetting someone who came and supported the wedding, but seriously my heart was deeply touched by people's innate goodness. Wow, so good. Mind you this day took place in a RS room that decided not to have AC.

This is little Sammi Sunshine! Her mom had the courage to bring her into the world. Prayed and fasted on what to do. Felt to keep her. All the mean while Sammi's Dad was deciding to change his life and give up some things. He did, and un announced to Sammi's mom Mandi--Davey read the Book of Mormon and started investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He completely changed everything. He wanted so badly to be a good father and to provide for Sammi. One little girl--miracles!!
Friday brought Martha and Lester's sealing. Most of the ordinance was done in Spanish. Bishop Madsen and I just smiled at each other. It wasn't until the end of the whole thing when we were all hugging Martha and Lester--that the impact of what just happened really hit them. The fact that they worked for a temple marriage and stuck with it even when wanting to give up--the emotion/gratitude and the significance of Jesus Christ's atonement was present. How beautiful, how clean and pure this sealing was. My eyes were wet as I embraced Martha. How proud of I am for her. It was beautiful.

Sat morning brought a move for Kat. And again, the support that came to help her move was overwhelming. It was choice.

SUNDAY morning Gavi canceled having me pick her and her kiddo's up for church because she stayed over at her mom's house. I decided I would still go to my family ward and then go out and do some knocking to find if folks on my ward list. Before I left I felt strongly that I needed to put cereal in my bag. *Mind you I don't eat cereal right now, and I surely don't keep it in my bag. I was not going to need to entertain Gavi's kids, so I figured the cereal would stay in my bag for months. But so strong was the thought that I knew it was not from me. I opened a cabinet and found Cinnamon Life. I got a small container and put the cereal in it. (I thought about how bulky the little container was. :))

I also put 2 of dad's healthy bars into my bag. And with that I felt satisfied I had done what I felt to do so I ran off to church. The meeting was great and the spirit was present.

After the first hour was over, I went tracking. House after house and door after door/street after street. I found very little success. By nearly 12:15 I pondered over what I had done with my Sunday morning. But I could not deny that I had felt to go to the places I had. Back and forth in the boundaries of the family ward I am over... I felt to go and knock on each door.

Now you may think I am a little snotty, and perhaps I am. But I have a testimony that if I am on the Lord's errand, I truly expect for him to have people for me to meet or greet. I can find at least one reason in almost every thing I feel to do. Stake Center--to be blessed by Hannah's song. Singing for her-(She has just thought in her mind if she would get to hear me sing). Conversation on revelation and how God does answer prayers. Gavi's-I needed to have her new number. I was not sure what the tracking and cereal were for... but God's wisdom is ALWAYS best! He knows--and later I knew why too! ;D But regardless of what I know--if it comes from God, you just do it. Even if you don't see/can't see a reason why.

The last place I tried searching for the member on my list, the address didn't have an apartment number. So I decided there were only 4 doors that could be the right choice, so I went a knocking.

The first door, nope. The second door said nope, but I felt that it was the right house. But to be sure I went to the 3rd door. I found a man who lives in my family ward. (I say my family ward, but it is really the ward I have been assigned to as a missionary.) He invited me in as he tried to find out from his wife if she had any info on this 19 year old kid I was trying to locate.

The man told me about a family from Mexico that had just moved in next door and that they had a son who had recently become divorced and who was living with them. Just as he was telling me about the new neighbors, the son pulled up and he rushed me outside to meet him. I felt after a whole morning of what you would call in the mission "character building" because nothing else seems to be happening, I was suppose to meet Samuel at that very given moment. He gave me his number and committed to come to church the following Sunday. I even texted him later asking him his schedule for the week, and I was very happy to receive an answer back.

It was great reminder to me how great God is and his timing is everything.

I went to church rejoicing to find/get in contact with such a family.

Sacrament was amazing! Mundo spoke on how patience makes our faith stronger. It was a really good talk. The spirit was present. He talked about how God has faith in us to face our Goliath trials. He said that even our Godzilla trials although they are scary, God has faith in us and will help us meet the challange. Mundo is someone who is so busy, but serves so willingly. He never complains on the homework he is not getting done by serving. It seems wherever I turn, I find this man of God giving encouragement, hope through speaking positive and always, always using his hands. Whether it is in the kitchen or whatever. I never find Mundo idle. I love that about him! He is always serving.

Eric talked about loving those around us, even if they are different. And then we had a Seventy out visiting to check out our singles ward. The church is interested in how they can duplicate what is happening in our ward, to see if they can implement what is happening there into other singles wards and other family wards.

I not knowing, ended up sitting by his wife. His message was wonderful too... truly Sacrament was beautiful. Just the feeling of wanting to be better.

I went to Elder and Sister Rollins Marriage prep class. How tender both Elder and Sister Rollins feel towards each other. It is beautiful to behold such admiration. Such respect and consideration for another. I have attended that same lesson at least 5 times in the past year (it seems I can't make the six week course but I always make the lesson starting the six week course). And although I have heard the stories before, as they related some things in their marriage--both of their eyes were wet. What tenderness, what love they have for each other. Truly a marriage built on serving and holding your companion up as the highest thing possible is a beautiful thing.

Davey was to get the priesthood in Elders Quorum so I left class to find Sunil to take him home so I could make it back in time for Davey's ordinance. (I don't even know if getting the priesthood is considered an ordinance??--I will look into that.)

As I was walking to get Sunil I found Mandi sitting on the couch. I asked them what was up. Mandi did not feel good, so skipped class and was wanting to leave. She told me she was hungry. I smiled and told her I had just put a few bars in my bag that morning. She opened one and took a bite and made the comment that it was "healthy" (this being a kind way of saying it wasn't very tasty. ha ha) I then asked her if she liked cereal. She said she loved it. I told her that I had felt to put cereal in my bag. I reached out and gave her the container that had been sitting so awkwardly in my bag and asked if she liked "Life"- Cinnamon Life. Before Mandi could answer Davey shot out that that was her favorite type of cereal. ??! ! That is amazing. God is so good. (For the record, I NEVER have cinnamon life at my place, but just happened to have some... I know.. nothing just happens. :))

Well when I got back from dropping off Sunil, I checked on the couple. They were both alert and happy. The container of cereal was empty. :)

Davey receiving the priesthood was really, really good. And Mandi even stayed and went with me to RS for the first time!! Oh Yea for God wanting me to put some cereal in my church bag. It was perfect. His plans are always perfectly perfect!! (The catch for me is to follow through.)

I did a few things after church and then picked up Sam to go and meet Samuel. I felt that we need to go that evening. Samuel sounded a little annoyed that I was back. His mother went downstairs to get him and although it was in Spanish Sam translated to me that she was a "Latan Woman". I am sure Sam had to be wondering if it was such a good idea for us to be there--especially hearing the resistance, but by the end of the conversation with Samual and his 20 year-old cousin, Sam had built up a start of a friendship. They spoke in spanish and I just smiled and tried to pay attention. It was so good for Sam to meet them. God uses Sam to reach people. I really believe I will be seeing Samual this next Sunday. (It helps that he committed/okay with me picking him up for church too.)

And the rest of the evening was perfect. So perfect that Since then all I have wanted to do in my prayers is pray and praise Heavenly Father. Oh how I love Sundays!!

It is way to late to be up right now, and anyone who knows my schedule knows that I do not have time right now to blog let alone a lengthy one. But again tonight I felt I needed to post this. (I honestly can't picture someone other than my mom and dad reading through all of this. :)

OH I love God! I love his Son, Jesus Christ. I love the gospel.

I know that God communicates with us. Whether through a thought or an idea, a feeling or whispering--whatever it is... following whatever is given, I have found, is the best way to do what is given. And even if we don't know why we are doing something, if one feels to--just do it. :)

"JESUS HEARS ME"

For whatever reason on Saturday I listened to this song over and over. I had many things I needed to get done. My morning was basking in the spirit of the scriptures. (Mostly I think because Brother Murray called me and asked me to give a talk the next day.) But then I felt a stirring that I needed to put this video together. I love the story click here to read the full article. It is amazing!! I also love the song.

When I went through the article, I found that I had lots of things to put into the movie. And as I looked at the amount of text--I became a little overwhelmed with how in the world it was all going to work out... especially on my ghetto imovie application. After most of my day and a good chunk into the late evening this is the result. I found some mistakes-- of course, but I do feel the movie is not from me, but just a good reminder from God. If you would like to watch the larger version on YouTube click here.

SUNDAY
Yesterday was pretty sacred. From the moment I woke up, it was a day that filled my soul.

Gavi for the first time came to RS! Or rather we stayed long enough for her to go. Danny had to sit on my lap the whole time and Jose was a sticky mess because we were trying to keep him chill with suckers and toostie rolls. But she was there! It was the first time she had ever been to RS. Very cool. The sacrament in her ward was sacred and brother Carter shared some choice miraculous blessings he had received in his life. He did not want to share because of the sacred nature of the healing, but felt impressed he must share. It was beautiful.

Then off to my ward. Sam stopped me in the hall and told me I must meet his sister and family. Sunday was a big day for he and Kristi as they delivered a powerful lesson on virtue, modesty, overcoming pornography... the spirit was present and there were a lot of people there that day. And I was privileged to meet his family. How is it that his family can show such quick love for someone they don't even know? I told Sam that I thought he was one of a kind, but after meeting his sisters--the same greatness which is in him, flows in them as well. I was deeply touched by their wanting to meet me. Good, choice family.

I was ready to give my talk, until I saw the Stake President walk in. Oh that man lifts you to another level of life. And when I saw him walk in I thought it would be good if I was "sick". ha, no I am just kidding, but really the man is of God.

After the movie was finished early Sunday morning, I fell to sleep with thoughts and impressions with what I needed to share. In the morning with only 20 mins, I typed out the scriptures and headed to my first ward. So by the time it was for me to talk, I had not officially "talked" through my talk. I did have deep impressions with what God would have me say.

How touched I was to sit next to the high council member. I whispered to him that since they asked me to speak the day before, I had been praying deeply for he and I and that our tongues would be loosed. He smiled and said he had been doing the same but then also added he had been praying for the hearts in the congregation. I smiled and told him I had been doing that too. (NOTE: How cool to get to speak with a high council member that prays like that! it was humbling and encouraging...I was filled with great faith and peace.)

The day before as I was praying, I had a strong impression I must go to see Jinger the next night. Well after the course of that prayer I found out that my mom and Nyk were coming to my place Sunday night. So Sunday morning I knelt down and asked God what I should do--just leave them at my house because I knew I would be with Jinger for some time. I felt if I needed to, to just bring them along, but that I needed to be at Jinger's house around 9:30 pm.

Nyk called me in the day and she felt not to come down, and mom decided she would not come down too. I had not told either one of them that I would not be there to entertain/hang out with them, but in faith knew that God would make it all right. I truly had no attachments and could follow through and go to Jinger's house... for whatever reason I was to.

I got home from some church things. I had a little dinner and then started to study the scriptures. By 8 pm I was very sleepy. (Partly from the intensity of the night before.) I had the thought that I could take a quick nap. BUT OH NO-- I thought, there was no way, I know myself, and so strong was the impression to go to Jinger's place that I dared not sleep through it. But sweetly, as the spirit often does, I was reassured that God would wake me up. The impression was so clear that I closed my scriptures and went to sleep.

9:25 my phone rings and I am "drunk" with sleep. It was Kristi. We talked, but I am pretty sure I did not make lots of sense. But we were on the phone long enough to wake me up so I could jump in my car and go to Jinger's place. I am so grateful for her phone call and God truly (as he always does) kept his promise of waking me up. (Which anyone who knows me, knows that it is only God or the spirit that can do this great task! I am a great sleeper. I know I know, eat it up now, because when I am a mother, there is no such luxury. ;))

No one was home at Jinger's place, but I knew God wanted me there. Jinger has some heavy drug activity going on next store and a neighbor that through some un appropriate actions has caused her to not be outside with her kids when he is around. I saw the neighbors in their garage and I had the impression that I was there just to help Jinger get in the house. (Brytt has been gone with Dad and the boys to Alaska.)

I finally called Jinger. She was on her way home from Salt Lake. She had had the impression to go and see her sister. But she reminded the Lord if she did that, she would have to come home when it was dark, and leave children in the car because she could only take 2 in at a time if they were asleep. She does not like to come home in the dark because of her neighbors. But she followed and had faith God would protect her and her family. I told her I was sitting outside her house to which the just praised heavenly Father. She did not have to leave her children in the car un attended that night.

--

God really knows us. He knows what we need and he knows how to bless us. He provides for his children.

I was reminded of this again as dad gave me a sweet blessing this morning.

How I long to be who He wants me to be. And my desires are not true unless they match His desires. I know that God can change us.. he can change me and make me better than I am right now.

"Rejoice the Lord is King"! (That is what I am doing!)

How can I keep--from singing?!

CHARACTER

Therefore, whoso hearth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.

And every one that heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand—

And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell, and great was the fall of it.
3 Nephi 14:24-27 Hearth and doeth. One thing to listen, next and greater- to obey whatever we heard in our heart to do!

Last night, well now that I am typing this so late, Thursday night--we had an amazing RS meeting. We had a great presentation on pornography and what to do when you are dating and married. 53 girls end up being there for the presentation--it was great valuable information.

Thomas (a great guy in my ward that did the presentation) was answering a question on how does a girl know the guy is off of pornography and won't go back to the habit... Thomas then shared a PROFOUND thought on the verses above.

Two "men" built houses. They could be identical houses. But it is not until the storm and the rain comes that we find the character of that man. It is not before, but when the storms come whether we see if he built on a foundation in the sand or on a rock. Our character is not truly tested or shown until we see how we stand through a storm.

Beautiful truth Thomas! Thank you!

I love the picture above. Believe it or not, Dad is the 4th one over starting from the left. We all went to lavender days and Dad with Young Living, help narrate this cute little western show.

Character--the stuff we are made up of. When others are watching, but more importantly who we are in the quite chambers of our soul when only we see/know and of course God sees/knows.

Mom and Nyk have challenge me to a Book of Mormon read in 30 days. I must admit, I am someone that will pick apart one chapter in three or four days. So reading eight or nine chapters in one day is a bit different ;) But I have felt that I needed to take the challenge.

The past few weeks I have been deeply impressed/pondering over murmuring. More clear than ever--murmuring is a faith killer and a fear builder. Murmuring causes worry and doubt. Murmuring demonstrates our lack of understanding, our pride in the fact that our humility is low and murmuring just makes you grumpy--and effects those around you.

Certainly a test of my character would be to see if I handle the storms of my life without murmuring or complaint.

Recently I had some pretty profound revelation over a close friend and I have pondered how it is possible to come to pass-- my weakness temps to control me in the fact when I get a revelation that I don't understand or see possible, I follow through, yes, but sometimes with a stink attitude. Often I am a murmurer.

I have not mentioned the specific details of the revelation to anyone for I am bound and determined to not murmur on this particular insight. God will make away, and this I put my faith in the bank with.

(I hope to not murmur anymore-EVER. This is amazingly easier said than done.)

As I was studying 1 Nephi 17 before this 30 day challenge and now again with the start of the challange, I had a thought. Lamen and Lemual are just laying bad into Nephi. They were mad about being in the wilderness and leaving all the things behind in Jerusalem.

My impression--at the beginning of their complaining session they mention "...and our women have toiled, being big with child; and they have borne children in the wilderness and suffered all things, save it were death; and it would have been better that they had died before they came out of Jerusalem than to have suffered these afflictions." This comment is towards the start of their complaining. No offense to guys, but I just don't see them being that sensitive to their wife's conditions without a little prompting. Sure in a complaint list maybe the wife's hardships take up the 10th or 11th slot on the list--but with Lamen and Lemual, they bring up their wives issue early in their murmuring session. The thought came to me that their wives must have been complaining to them (their husbands) quite a bit--and perhaps it was the wives complaining that triggered/influenced the husbands to to go and get grumpy with Nephi. !! I have seen this happen with couples many times. Take a chill man, and put a constantly complaining wife behind him and your guy now has negative things come out of his mouth.

The rest of their complaints I am sure were part of their own personal complaints, but the impression for me was that they were being partly the way their were because of of the influence of their wives over them.

When this impression came I immediately did not want to EVER be caught influencing my husband to be grumpy because of my "murmurings" at home. The scriptures say why Lamen and Lemual murdered? "...they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them." (1 Nephi 2:12).

Well there you have it. Your Character of what you are built on (sand or rock) won't be fully tested and I should say exposed until a storm hits you. (And the scripture says, the rains descended on the wise and the foolish). That is when you can choose to murmur or trust. To submit or rebel. To rejoice instead of curse and sing instead of complain.

I was moved by these words from Elder Richard G. Scott in the April 2009 conference--

Fourteen years ago the Lord took my wife beyond the veil. I love her with all my heart, but I have never complained because I know it was His will. I have never asked why but rather what is it that He wants me to learn from this experience. I believe that is a good way to face the unpleasant things in our lives, not complaining but thanking the Lord for the trust He places in us when He gives us the opportunity to overcome difficulties.

We had the blessing of having children. A daughter, the first child, continues to be an enormous blessing in our lives. A couple of years later a son we named Richard was born. A few years later a daughter was born. She died after living only a few minutes.

Our son, Richard, was born with a heart defect. We were told that unless that could be cured, there was little probability that he would live more than two or three years. This was so long ago that techniques now used to repair such defects were unknown. We had the blessing of having a place where doctors agreed to attempt to perform the needed surgery. The surgery had to be done while his little heart was beating.

The surgery was performed just six weeks after the birth and death of our baby daughter. When the operation finished, the principal surgeon came in and said it was a success. And we thought, “How wonderful! Our son will have a strong body, be able to run and walk and grow!” We expressed deep gratitude to the Lord. Then about 10 minutes later, the same doctor came in with an ashen face and told us, “Your son has died.” Apparently the shock of the operation was more than his little body could endure.

Later, during the night, I embraced my wife and said to her, “We do not need to worry, because our children were born in the covenant. We have the assurance that we will have them with us in the future. Now we have a reason to live extremely well. We have a son and a daughter who have qualified to go to the celestial kingdom because they died before the age of eight.” That knowledge has given us great comfort. We rejoice in the knowledge that all seven of our children are sealed to us for time and all eternity.

That trial has not been a problem for either of us because, when we live righteously and have received the ordinances of the temple, everything else is in the hands of the Lord. We can do the best we can, but the final outcome is up to Him. We should never complain, when we are living worthily, about what happens in our lives.

Fourteen years ago the Lord decided it was not necessary for my wife to live any longer on the earth, and He took her to the other side of the veil. I confess that there are times when it is difficult not to be able to turn and talk to her, but I do not complain. The Lord has allowed me, at important moments in my life, to feel her influence through the veil.

So what is in my character? What makes me up--most importantly when no one is watching or seeing. What am I doing with my time. Am I a complainer/murmurer. Am I choosing to know God's dealings with me. My stance/actions when a storm hits is the best way to view who I really am.

For whoever this is for--may God bless you to overcome whatever storm you are facing.

FIVE YEARS AGO

Five years ago today, I was nervously waiting in the airport with 3 or 4 other elders to fly back to Utah.

Shortly after my mission had started, Elder Christensen came out to a zone conference and talked about setting a date of faith. He talked about the only time he was going to meet someone new was to pray and ask the Lord to prepare whoever would sit next to him on the plane as he flew to Hawaii. He and his wife both fasted every week for months, pleading with the Lord to prepare the person on the airplane. Finally the day of his trip came. He sat in his plane seat anticipating who would sit next to him. Down the isle came this man... Hawaiian shirt, chains, very "open" with his shirt. Elder Christensen somewhat rolled his eyes and thought there was no way this man would be up for a gospel conversation. The other man sat down next to him and proceeded to tell Elder Christensen about all the women he was going to see and what he was going to do with them. Elder Christensen went back to reading his paper, but the spirit prompted.

Soon, they were deep in conversation about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the fact that God had a plan for this man. The man had never heard these truths before, but admitted to Elder Christensen that for several months his soul had been stirring for truth, and he had no idea where it was coming from.

The two men exchanged information and Elder Christensen told the man he would like to have him over with his family and the missionaries when the business trip was over. To which the man replied--well don't you have missionaries in Hawaii?

!!

I heard the talk, and my heart was overwhelmed by the truths of praying and fasting for a time when the Lord will prepare someone to hear the gospel. From that point in my mission, I decided that I could start fasting and praying for the day I would fly home and for whom ever would sit next to me on the plane. I did this for nearly 7 or 8 months, never missing a week. But about 4 to 5 months before finishing the mission it dawned on me, I would be going home with elders and they would be the ones I would be sitting by--so after a good chuck of my mission of fasting and praying for the flight home, I stopped, thinking I wasn't about to be testifying to the elders.

July 14th 2005 found me in the Newark Airport. And as we waited to board the plane to come home--I asked the Elders what their seat numbers were. I think now, there were three of them and one of me. One by one they read off their seat number. All three of them were sitting by each other. When I looked at my number I was randomly several rows away and on the other side of plane. I thought that was odd--but then all at once my mind was flooded with all the praying and fasting I had offered up for whom I would sit next to on the plane. !! My heart started to race and my hands became sweaty. I had honestly thought I would be sitting by elders and that is why I stopped praying.

Well, the first flight, the sweet man next to me asked question after question about the church. He was a truck driver and loved his wife dearly. Missionaries later came to his house and for a time he investigated. I do not know what has happened to him since. The elders on the plane kept looking back and saw my napkin drawing of the plan of salvation. The next plane, because we were headed to Utah I figured there would be a lot of smiles with people knowing who we were.

I was one of the very last people to board. And as I walked down the isle pondering if the person (yes I was not linked by the elders again) would be a member. I saw a younger in his early 30's man sitting next to the only open spot on the plane, my seat. He smiled as he looked at my name tag.

He was not a member but his wife was--although not practicing. They had just had a conversation that week that it was either his parents faith or his wife's parents faith of "Mormons". He had always been apposed by going, but he and his wife just discussed that they needed to find what was best and true for their future family. We talked all the way back to Utah and 4 lessons were taught. The spirit was sweet.

We got off the plane and before the elders and I went to go find our waiting families, two elders ran to find someone sitting waiting for their flight to give one last pass along card. ;) I smiled.

I have no idea whatever came of these two men, but this I do know, that their hearts had been prepared by God.

So sweet and tender are the feelings of the mission. Choice companions, Sr. Missionary couples that became literal family, choice people I met committed to keeping the commandments of God, lessons learned from a mission president and wife that have shaped my life, and then probably the biggest miracle of all... my heart.

5 Years ago today, I came home to a family prepared for ME. A family whom I love with all my heart.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is God's true church on the earth. With apostles, prophets, revelation, priesthood and authority from God. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. It is another testament of Jesus Christ. I know that Joseph Smith prayed in a grove of trees and because of confusion, had faith enough to ask God our father which church to join. In answer to his prayer God the Father and Jesus Christ, God's son, appeared to Joseph Smith. Called him by name and reveled that at that time, there was no true and living church of God on the earth. But God loves his children, all of us, and he prepared a way for us to not walk in darkness, but to know about Him and His plan for us.

I know surely as I know I am able to breath and walk and talk--that God and Jesus Christ live! And one of my favorite truths is that God allows anyone to know for them selves--the truth. We never need take someone at their word alone, but can, through sincere prayer to God our father, ask to find the truth, ending our prayer with Jesus Christs name--I KNOW God answers prayers.

There is joy to be had in this life. Not just the life to come. And God, who knows every sparrow, certainly knows our lives and what to do to send us peace and happiness. His plan of happiness involved sacrificing his only begotten son, Jesus Christ (whom I love) to show us the way, to know our burdens, that He might make them light. He lived, died and lives again for us! Because of Love. He is Love. “Come unto Me” By Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

In the 11th chapter of Matthew, verses 28–30, the Savior says: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” [Matt. 11:28–30]

This is my basic message to each of you, wherever you live, whatever your joys or sorrows, however young or old you may be, at whatever point you may find yourself in this mortal journey of ours. Some of you are where you want to be or you know where you want to go with your lives, and some of you don’t. Some of you seem to have so many blessings and so many wonderful choices ahead of you. Others of you feel, for a time and for whatever reason, less fortunate and with fewer attractive paths lying immediately ahead.

But whoever you are and wherever you find yourself as you seek your way in life, I offer you “the way … and the life” (John 14:6). Wherever else you think you may be going, I ask you to “come unto him” as the imperative first step in getting there, in finding your individual happiness and strength and success.

When two of Christ’s disciples first heard him speak, they were so moved, so spellbound, that they followed him as he left the crowd. Sensing that he was being pursued, Christ turned and asked the two men, “What seek ye?” (John 1:38). Other translations render that simply, “What do you want?”

They answered, “Where dwellest thou?” or “Where do you live?”

And Christ said, “Come and see” (John 1:39). Just a short time later he formally called Peter and others of the new Apostles with the same spirit of invitation, “Come ye after me” (Mark 1:17).

It seems to me that the essence of our lives is distilled down to these two brief elements in these opening scenes of the Savior’s mortal ministry. One element is the question to every one of us, “What seek ye? What do you want?” The second is his answer as to how to get that. Whoever we are and whatever our problems, his response is always the same, forever: “Come unto me.” Come see what I do and how I spend my time. Learn of me, follow me, and in the process I will give you answers to your prayers and rest to your souls.

Beloved friends, I know of no other way for you to succeed or to be happy or to be safe. I know of no other way for you to be able to carry your burdens or find what Jacob called “that happiness which is prepared for the saints” (2 Ne. 9:43). That is why we make solemn covenants based on Christ’s atoning sacrifice, and that is why we take upon us his name. In as many ways as possible, both figuratively and literally, we try to take upon us his identity. We seek out his teachings and retell his miracles. We send latter-day witnesses, including prophets, apostles, and missionaries, around the world to declare his message. We call ourselves his children, and we testify that he is the only source of eternal life. We plead for him to swing open the gates of heaven in our behalf, and we trust everlastingly that he will, based upon our faithfulness.

My heart is full today.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true! I know it, for I have prayed myself and asked.